by K. I. Lynn
“Okay.”
“Okay? You’re not going to fight with me on this?” Shock of my acceptance was evident on his features.
I shook my head, but stopped when it felt like my brain was jiggling. “You’re right, and I want to live with you Nathan. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he replied and kissed me again, this time a little deeper. “Now if I can just keep you out of the hospital, we’ll be in good shape.”
“It’s not my fault,” I said in protest, my vision starting to dim as I shook. Tears spilled from my eyes, the pain growing immense.
“I know. It never was yours, baby. It was always his.” Nathan placed a kiss on my forehead again while his fingers stroked down my arm.
My eyes widened in fear at the figure that burst through the door, his forceful entrance made my heart rate spike. I was starting to hyperventilate, the room getting darker when my vision cleared.
The man’s facial expression was not of anger, but horror.
Noah.
Noah was standing in front of me—the boy who’d also had a terrible childhood. The boy I’d once been afraid of after being freed from the nightmare that was my father’s home. The kind boy who helped me learn not all men were monsters and some were even good. He was here, and I was safe.
My eyes rolled back and the world faded away.
My mind became aware before my eyes were willing to open. There was a throbbing – no, slamming – pain in my head. It hurt to breathe a bit, but not in my chest or ribs. Lower, like in my stomach. I began to wonder why when the events rushed back into my mind.
It was all pain from my injuries. Proof I was alive, that Adam didn’t kill me, and Nathan made it in time.
My eyes fluttered open to find Nathan staring down at me. He let out a sigh of relief and squeezed my hand.
“How long have I been out?” I asked, noticing I was in yet another hospital room. Three times in six months had to be a record of some sort.
“We just got here a few minutes ago,” Nathan said. Andrew was also in the room, standing guard over us. “So, not too long.”
I looked around more and gasped before my vision focused on the figure of the cop standing a few feet from me. He hadn’t changed since I last saw him: still tall with brown hair and matching eyes. His nose still crooked from when his father broke it.
“Noah?” I nodded, giving him our customary symbol that he was okay to approach, and he rushed over to my side.
He took my hand in his. “How are you feeling?”
“Been better, been worse.” I gave a gentle shrug, knowing he understood. I tried not to think about what had happened. I was used to hiding the pain after an attack, but it had been so long.
It was surreal chatting with Noah like we were seated on my couch. The whole situation would be frightening if it weren’t for Nathan, Andrew, and Noah’s comforting presence.
I was safe.
Adam would be hauled off like a wild animal to be caged as he should’ve been years ago. Deep down I knew that between Noah, Nathan, and Andrew, justice would be served. I blinked hard and honed in on Noah’s words to keep myself centered and calm. If I was calm, Nathan would be as well.
“I called you a few months ago, but you didn’t call back. I’ve been worried something like this had happened to you.” Noah’s laid back voice was what I needed.
“I’m sorry, so sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. It’s been…hectic this year.” I was kicking myself for not calling him.
“Well, besides the blood and fat lip, you’re looking good, kid.” His smile was good-natured and warmed me.
“You, too. That uniform looks good on you. Your mom would be proud to see her son protecting people and putting the bad ones in jail.” I tried not to cringe; the pain in my back and head was starting to throb. My bones ached, but inside I felt so happy for so many things. Happy that Andrew was my friend and here for me, that Adam was history. But most of all, happy Nathan and I were together. Nothing would come between us.
“Thank you, Lila. That means a lot.” His eyes misted as he smiled at me.
“How’s Camilla?”
“She’s good. Wants you to come out and see the girls. They’ve gotten so big since you saw them at Christmas, you’d be amazed.” He beamed down at me.
“I’m so sorry. I should have kept better contact,” I said, apologizing again.
“It’s okay. I can see something big has happened since I last saw you. You’ll have to come over for dinner soon and bring this guy with the heavy fists with you.” He pointed to Nathan.
“Oh…Nathan, this is Noah Hanson. Noah, this is Nathan Thorne.”
“Pleasure to meet you. Lila’s told me a lot about you.” Nathan held out his hand for Noah who took it.
Noah held a questioning gaze. “Thorne? Former prosecutor Thorne?”
Nathan blinked at him. “Yes.”
Noah tensed, his eyes flickering to the wall that held the door and window before his eyes locked with Nathan’s. “You need to come to dinner with Lila.”
Nathan nodded, and they did one of those guy exchange things before letting go. I was certain Nathan would explain it to me later; there was some undertone conversation I missed. With the way my head was still pounding, I was certain an elephant could run through the room, and I wouldn’t notice.
“Well, I need to get back to work. We need to take a couple pictures of your injuries, okay? Then you’ll need to answer some more questions for the report.”
I nodded in response, and Noah turned to leave.
“Noah!” I called out, and he turned back. “Could you call Teresa and Armando, tell them what happened, and that I’m all right?”
“They’re already in the waiting room; I called them right after you passed out, but I’ll let them know. Get better and give me a call soon.” He waved as he walked out of the room and past the cops guarding the door.
On his way out, I watched as Adam was wheeled down the hall, handcuffed to a gurney. His face was swollen, and blood was still oozing out of his nose as well as the two places where his lips were split. He was groaning in pain.
I smiled a bit, happy to see him get a small taste of his own medicine. I took Nathan’s hands in mine and pulled them to where I could see. His knuckles were swollen and a few were bleeding a little.
“Thank you,” I whispered as I pulled his hand to my lips, placing light kisses on each knuckle. “All that practice on your walls paid off.”
He leaned down and kissed me. “Always, Honeybear.”
The doctors came in and began running me through the exam, followed by tests and machines to make sure I had no internal bleeding from Adam’s vicious kicks. They also wanted to make sure there was no damage done to my skull and brain.
I loved having Nathan near. I needed him; he kept me calm, kept the shaking at bay. Though, every time I looked at him, tears sprung to my eyes. I was almost taken from him. His own look of fright was so overwhelming I didn’t know what to do to calm him because they kept him more than an arm’s length away so they could work.
Nurses took him away for his own exam and to clean off his wounds, but they returned him as soon as possible. Andrew went to the waiting room to sit with Teresa and Armando.
The police came in between tests to get my statement, and I found it was difficult to recount the details to them. Nathan erupted in a fit of rage as I divulged the first few moments after I opened the door, and he had to be escorted out for the remainder of their inquisition.
I began vibrating, tears flowing as I let my mind think about it. I told them what I could remember; some things were hazy, though, due to trauma he inflicted to my head. They took a few photos of my injuries, and then said they’d be back in a day or two for more information, before they left.
The hospital decided to keep me overnight for observation. Another concussion, but the rest was superficial. I was bruised and a few deep cuts from the glass of the mirror were stitched up. Everyone in the w
aiting room was sent home. I couldn’t see anyone; I only needed Nathan at that moment. I was fighting to keep my eyes open, but through the glass I saw Nathan talking to Teresa, her arms wrapped around him, sobs racking her body before the darkness took over and I was shut away from the world.
CHAPTER 19
My eyes fluttered open, and I sighed at the clock on the wall, telling me it was only three in the morning. There was a weight in my hand, and I looked down to find Nathan asleep, his head resting on the bed, one hand in mine. His hands were bandaged, and I knew his neck had to be killing him from the angle.
Lifting my free hand, I ran my fingers thought the silky strands of his hair. I took stock of my aches while I soothed myself by touching him. My neck was in immense pain when I moved it, so much that it was difficult to look down at him. Adam’s fingers bruised the muscle. My face was swollen in multiple places, giving me that beach ball like feeling again, and the taste of rust was on my tongue from the large split in my lip. I could feel the location of several places they stitched back together in my scalp and at my hairline. I clenched the muscles of my stomach and instantly regretted it.
All in all, I came out better than I had most of the other times. It was, for the most part, superficial. Painful, but it would all heal. No broken bones, torn muscles, or dislocated anything this time. It was all due to Nathan. If he hadn’t come…if he hadn’t made it…
Tears filled my eyes, and I tried to keep the sob in, knowing if Nathan had been as little as five more minutes, I would be in a different part of the hospital – the part people went into once.
“Lila?” Nathan’s rough, groggy voice asked; his fingers reached up to wipe away my tears.
“I didn’t want to leave you!” I cried out unexpectedly, the tears now streaming down my face. He grabbed my hand and buried his face in it, gripping it with his own. Wet drops landed on my skin, tearing at my heart.
“I was so scared, Honeybear. I heard your screams as soon as the door of the elevator opened. My heart stopped, baby, and I ran as fast as I could to find you. I thought it was the Marconi. When I opened the door…” His body shuddered at the memory, his grip on my hand tightening. His eyes were squeezed shut, jaw clenched. “I wanted to fucking kill him. I wanted to rip his arms off and shove them down his fucking throat for even touching you. I wanted him dead for hurting you.”
I pulled in a shuddering breath, willing myself to calm down so that I could tell him. I needed to tell him.
“That was the first time I ever tried to fight back,” I whispered. “Before…before, it would just make him even angrier and hit me harder. There was no escape back then. This time, though, I knew. He was there to kill me, Nathan.” My voice cracked at the end, my bottom lip trembling as tears continued to spill down my cheeks. “He was there to kill me, but he got…distracted.”
I could say it in my head, but I couldn’t say what he was about to do out loud. Nathan understood, his hand reaching up and persuading me to look at him. His eyes held a furious fire, his body vibrating in anger.
“He will never fucking touch you again. He will never be anywhere near you unless it’s in the courtroom. I will do everything in my power to make damn certain that fucker never breathes free air again.”
I believed him, and I held a desperate hope he could. The accusations tolled up in my head, but would they be enough to lock him away for good? Nathan had done the impossible with one of the Marconi, putting them away, but would he be successful when my family was involved? And could he do this without putting himself back in harm’s way by bringing attention to where he was? It was all too frightening and overwhelming to think about, and the scariest thing of all was I knew he’d do this for me without sparing it a second thought. I knew his natural inclinations as a damn fine, unstoppable lawyer would kick in. Would I be able to stop him if he set his mind to do it?
Nathan let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around me. My security blanket. In an instant I felt calmer, and placed a kiss on his neck, but the tears still trickled down.
“I love you, so much.” I needed him to know as I fisted my hands in his shirt.
“Not as much as I love you,” he replied, kissing my lips.
Not long after, Nathan crawled up onto the narrow hospital bed at my urging. His arms wrapped around me and we both drifted back off to sleep.
Rules were meant to be broken. Nobody knew that better than us.
A few short hours later, the bed stirred and my eyes opened. He gave me an apologetic look as he gathered his things.
I sighed, knowing he couldn’t miss work as well; it would raise too many suspicions. How much longer would we put up with all the pretenses? How much longer would we suffer being so close, yet so far away from one another?
He gave me a sound kiss, told me he loved me, and he would see me soon. My hand stretched out as he stepped away, not wanting to let go of his. I knew he wanted to stay, but we both knew why he had to go. He also had to leave so he could tell Jack what happened and that I wouldn’t be in.
I was released a few hours later, Teresa and Sarah teaming up to take me home. It was difficult to walk, hunched over from the pain in my stomach. Doctor’s orders had me resting for the remainder of the week.
Everything was fine as we rode in the elevator and walked down the hall. Though as soon as the door opened, I couldn’t enter. The evidence was still there: crime scene tape, the shattered vase and mirror. I started hyperventilating as memories of the attack crashed down on me, and I stumbled back out into the hallway wall.
“I can’t, I can’t,” I pleaded and they both understood, shutting the door.
Teresa rushed over to me, wrapping her arms around me and whispered soft words. “It’s okay. You don’t ever have to go back in there if you don’t want to. We’ll take care of everything.”
I couldn’t explain my reaction; it was so strange. When I was younger I was used to going back to the scene of the crime, because it was home, and I had no other choice. But for some reason, it was different. Maybe because I was so certain I was going to die. Or maybe it was because I had made this home my sanctuary, my safe place, and Adam had come in and destroyed that within a matter of moments. All I knew was I couldn’t go back in.
Taking my hand, they helped me up to Nathan’s condo, and I settled into his bed. I was hoping for his scent to be lingering on the pillows and sheets to help soothe me, but it’d been so long since he’d slept there, any trace of him had faded. Months spent in my condo left his empty of a presence I needed.
Moving to the dresser, I pulled out one of his Harvard shirts that hadn’t made their way down to my place and slipped it on. I needed to be near him in any way that I could.
He was my safe place now—my sanctuary I could always turn to.
I awoke to soft, gentle kisses, feather light against my skin. My eyes strained against the light in the room, the angle of the sun telling me it was sometime around noon. I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep.
“Nathan?” My eyes searched out where the kisses were taking place, wondering what he was doing home.
My head turned and there he was, staring down at me with trepidation in his eyes. “How are you feeling, Honeybear?”
“I’m…I have no answer besides happy you’re here. What are you doing here?”
“I’m having lunch.”
My brow scrunched. “What are you having?”
“I was hoping for some lovey hugs. I have a desperate need for them.”
My hands wound around his neck while his wrapped around my body. “I need them, as well.”
Our time was short, lying there touching and caressing. It was what we both needed, a connection to the other. To feel each other and know the other was alive.
Tender touches, soft kisses, and tears. Everything was so raw and fresh, and I knew we needed to see Dr. Morgenson before the day was over.
Darren came over as soon as Nathan arrived home after work. We moved into the bedroom so th
at I could lie down. Sarah left with a promise that she would be back the next day.
As soon as we were in the room, I had an indescribable need to tell Dr. Morgenson, and Nathan, a detailed description of what happened. It was like I was purging the images from my mind by putting them into words. Somehow it was more real, I wasn’t making it up. They would believe me; there was no one there to discredit me.
No tears spilled as I spoke. I felt like I was having a strange, out-of-body experience as I recounted the gory details.
Nathan couldn’t stay with me on the bed; he was distressed hearing all that occurred. His hands were pulling at his neck as he paced.
There was a loud crunching sound as I described the end when he was trying to rape me. Nathan had punched the wall, splintering the drywall.
Somehow, with everything that happened, all I could think was “Oh, Erin is going to kill you.” How odd. Was I used to being attacked, or had I cracked again and didn’t know it?
Nathan was hanging his head and berating himself. Darren managed to get through to him, and he returned to me. The doctor also told him he’d deal with Nathan’s wall punching habit very soon. Granted, it was the first time in months it had happened.
I went back to telling them what had taken place. The tears had started when I began talking about the end. All I could think of was my last thought for Nathan, begging his forgiveness for dying.
“I want to pull you inside me so you’re safe,” he said as he climbed back onto the bed and wrapped his body around mine.
“This attack was different. You’ve always had such a hard time talking about them, but this one is pouring out of you. Why do you think that is?” Darren asked.
“Because I knew there was no one to stop him...that I was going to die. At the same time, though, I fought back. I didn’t take it like when I was younger. I have a reason to live now, and in some weird, sick way, I feel safe. He’s not coming back this time; he’s no longer hiding in the shadows. I know where he is and in the place he’s being held, he can’t hurt me anymore. I’m no longer alone with no one to protect me. I have Nathan. I have Andrew and Caroline. I have so many people now that I didn’t have before. So, in a way, this was a good thing.”