Dead On Arrival (A Malia Fern Mystery)

by Kym Roberts

  If I couldn’t sober their expression, the sight of Windy standing behind me did.

  Kāne nodded at me and said, “We all make mistakes, Mal.”

  He walked past me and headed over to John and Windy. Chun, on the other hand, didn’t give me a second thought as he beat his partner to Windy’s side without even a glance in my direction. He only had eyes for boobs at that point.

  I looked at Makaio, searching his face for any sign of interest in Windy. Any sign of interest in me, now that he knew I was crazy. He smiled, reached up to pull some plants out of my hair and I felt the need to defend my sanity, but couldn’t. Maybe the body had affected me more than I realized.

  “You need to learn how to use your camera.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “If you’d known how to use your camera better, you would have known how to take pictures in low light settings without a flash, and you wouldn’t have thought the man’s head was cut off.”

  He was making excuses for me, which pissed me off for some inexplicable reason. I had no excuse for myself, yet hearing him make one for me ignited my fuse.

  I turned away and stalked toward my car. I’m sure my lopsided mix of barefoot and sandal wasn’t completely dignified, but I didn’t give a damn. But passing Windy and her entourage of cops served to enhance my feelings of inadequacy. How was it possible for her to get that much attention? Not that I wanted their attention, but there were principles involved. My anger blended with frustration, self-doubt and self-loathing. I felt as stupid and incompetent as I’d ever felt in my life. And to make matters worse, tears threatened to spill uncontrollably onto my cheeks.

  I needed to get out of there. The sanctity of my car beckoned. A drive with the top down, the cool wind drying my tears and blowing all the debris from my hair was all the therapy I needed. Then my pillow under my head for twelve hours straight. That would stop me from seeing dead people.

  I reached my car and started to pull on the door when Makaio’s hand reached past my shoulder and held the door closed. I hadn’t even heard him behind me, which didn’t help my damaged psyche.

  “Malia.”

  Nothing in the world could make me turn toward him. Not only was my hair and clothing a mess, tears were streaming down my face. No doubt leaving tracks of mascara in the dirt and dust gathered on my face. I had no fight left in me.

  There was no struggle when he pulled me into his arms and I cried like a baby. We stood there for what seemed like a lifetime. His arms wrapped around me, my hands clinging to the soft cotton material covering his expansive chest. His incredibly masculine scent soothed my fears as it awakened a deeper need in my soul. I didn’t want to think about the outside world, just our bodies crushed together.

  As the tears dissipated, I became aware of his need and looked up into eyes so deep and dark they seemed to draw me into their depths. It was like disappearing into a black hole and finding the meaning of the universe inside.

  His arms released my body, suddenly replaced by his hands gently caressing my face. He wiped the tears away with his thumbs and then his callused palms held my face inches from his. His head turned slightly as his lips slowly descended toward my own. My breath hitched with anticipation of his kiss as my eyes traveled to his mouth. As our lips were about to meet in what I knew would be an exquisite kiss, his head snapped up.

  An instant later, he was grabbing my arms and shoving me backward across the street. My feet moving faster than I thought possible, we flew across the pavement and tumbled into the ditch. Makaio landed on top of me in belly flop fashion. Again. The air exploded from my lungs like a bullet exiting the barrel of a gun, the force burning my lungs and throat. My vision flashed white as his chin made contact with my forehead. I attempted to suck air into my lungs with no success. The distant sound of screeching tires perforated the haze. Crunching metal followed as Makaio shifted his weight to enclose me under his body.

  I struggled for air, wondering if I would ever take a breath again. I attempted little breaths with minor results, success making me greedy for more. Finally, Makaio lifted his weight, and I gulped at the air like a fish out of water.

  “Sorry. Are you okay?” For the second time in less than an hour, he looked down at me with concern written all over his face. I nodded, taking in another drink of air, still struggling to get oxygen into my dehydrated lungs.

  “Yeah,” I gasped, then looked closer and saw blood all over his bottom lip. “You’re bleeding!”

  “I’m okay, but…” He nearly went cross-eyed as he looked at the point of impact for his chin. “…you’ve got a nice goose egg forming in the middle of your forehead.”

  My fingers searched for the growth and located the source of my pain. Blood began throbbing under the skin. “What happened?”

  “There was…an accident.” He was looking at me as if he was waiting for me to lose my mind completely.

  Maybe I had because for the life of me I had no idea what he was talking about. “What?”

  “Someone hit your car.” His voice held more sympathy.

  My body was numb, incapable of movement. No. Not my car. Not my cute little convertible MINI Cooper. Not the one bit of therapy that would get me through this night. It couldn’t be. He was mistaken.

  Makaio rolled to my side, and I sat up to see how much damage my car had sustained, but it was gone. Someone had stolen my car, not hit it. I scanned the street where it had been, but all I could see was a big white monster truck with a bizarre hood ornament — long horns jutting out from the front hood.

  What the hell was that?

  If the monstrosity wasn’t bad enough, I caught a splash of red, barely visible under its tires.

  No. No. No. That could not be my car. My car wasn’t that small. It wouldn’t fit under that obnoxiously huge truck. Okay, maybe it would if the truck was airlifted and placed down gently over the top of it, but not without the help of a helicopter. I looked up. No lights shined down from a helicopter.

  It had to be red skis under the truck.

  “Can you get up?”

  Unable to talk, I nodded in response and Makaio gently pulled me to my feet. John stood at the door of the truck talking to the driver. He appeared dwarfed by the mere size of the tires and height of the vehicle. The driver’s side and front end of the truck appeared intact, including the long horns on the hood. I hoped the passenger side was mangled beyond repair as I stared at the small scrap of red metal underneath it.

  My car.

  “Darlin,’ I appreciate you helpin’ me out. I don’t know what happened. One minute I was drivin’ down the road mindin’ my own business, the next I was sittin’ on top of a lil’ foreign piece of crap.”

  Pearl. That no good, two bit…pastry cook.

  I lunged for her. My anger erupted like Pu`u `O`o on Mount Kilauea. I was totally out of control in pursuit of revenge, my anger building like the molten lava ready to spew. Pearl jumped behind John as he helped her from the vehicle, but it wasn’t John that saved her. Makaio grabbed me first, denying my emotions, along with a probable murder rap.

  “She did that on purpose!” I raged. My feet and arms extended toward her while Makaio held me off the ground with one arm around my waist.

  I could hear blood rushing through my body to my ears, deafening me. Just as I thought I might break free from Makaio’s grip, another vehicle pulled in between Pearl and me. I could no longer see the woman who took my baby away from me. The happy face of Pai sitting in his Jeep replaced it. He blocked out everything else with his bright smile.

  “Brah, I’m guessing Malia doesn’t want you holding her in your arms.”

  My arms and feet drooped like my hair around my face.

  “You can leave, Pai.” Makaio said, gritting out the response with some pent up emotions of his own.

  Sobbing from the other side of the jeep drowned out any response Pai could give.

  “Makaio! What have I done?” Pearl wailed like the doorbell on her pastry store.r />
  In unison, we all looked toward John, who had backed away from the truck while trying to extricate himself from a sobbing Pearl in his arms. He gave Makaio a dirty look and curtly swung his head. Clearly my brother wanted Makaio on the other side of the jeep dealing with Pearl, not holding me like a lover.

  Makaio looked down at me. His expression asked permission to leave, but his eyes asked if he could stay.

  All the fight was out of me. I gave up. “Go ahead.”

  Makaio released me and Pai jumped out of the Jeep with a smile of victory for his cousin. Makaio sneered in return. His expression softened when he turned and kissed my cheek before heading for Pearl.

  “Baby Doll, you looked a lot better when I left you. Where’s your shoe?”

  “I lost it somewhere over there in the middle of the bamboo. I should be able to find it. It’s not too far from the wall.”

  “Just sit and relax in my Jeep. I’ll find it.”

  Pai lifted me up into the driver’s seat and leaned over me to grab a flashlight out of the glove box. I pointed to the spot where Makaio and I came out of the trees and he took off in search of my sandal.

  I watched as Windy blew kisses over her shoulder at Kāne and his partner. They may as well have drooled all over themselves as they watched her sashay to her car, hips swaying enough to compete with the best hula dancer around.

  Come on. Women don’t really walk like that.

  Once she was in her car, they finally turned and approached John, who was calling in a tow truck. Fluids were leaking out of the pickup onto what was left of my car. Ol’ Pearl had succeeded in damaging the undercarriage of her truck, which was the bright spot of my night. At least there was some justice in the world.

  I looked at Makaio’s face, bearing a miserable expression what with the weeping Pearl going on and on about her stupid truck. John advanced toward me with an unreadable expression on his face. I couldn’t tell if he was angry at me, Pearl, or at the whole world. As he got closer, I realized his anger wasn’t directed toward me at all. It went beyond me. I turned to see Pai approaching with my sandal in his hand and that ever-present grin on his face.

  “I’ve been trying to get in contact with you, Mr. Lincoln.” John meant business, and I hoped Pai didn’t become flippant.

  “Sorry, I’ve been busy. You must be Malia’s brother.” Pai reached out to shake John’s hand, despite the fact that John looked as if he was ready to slap cuffs on him.

  “I need you to come down and give me a statement.”

  “Yes, why don’t we plan on meeting tomorrow? Right now, I want to get Malia home. She’s had very little sleep lately.” Pai glared at Makaio who returned the look with an added dose of resentment attached.

  Ready to give up on all of them, I attempted to get out of the jeep, only to have Pai stop me. “Let me help you.” He squatted down, put the sandal on my bare foot and gently struggled to buckle the strap around my, once again, swollen cankle. If the rest of me looked like that, I didn’t want to know.

  Kāne decided to add his two cents. “Hey, Mal, if you wanted to be treated like Cinderella, there are easier ways of doing it.”

  Pai let each vertebrae in his back unroll slowly as he stood up to his full height and turned toward Kāne, who looked like he was going to pee his pants. Pai approached him from one side, while Makaio descended upon him from the other, both men looking like they were ready to engage in physical warfare. I envisioned tribal tattoos on their faces, ancient weapons in their hands as they went into battle.

  Kāne drew his taser and John jumped in front of him before the situation escalated.

  “It’s been a long night, guys, let’s not make it worse by over reacting to a juvenile comment.”

  “Sorry, Mal, I was just teasing,” Kāne added. His apology wasn’t necessary, in my opinion, but it mattered to Pai and Makaio, who backed down in unison.

  “I’m sorry for bringing everyone out on a wild goose chase.” And I was. It had been a humiliating night.

  “Anyone would have made the same mistake if they saw the picture you took.” Kāne turned back to the accident scene that involved the death of my car.

  “Where is my camera?”

  “Makaio’s got it along with your phone. Didn’t he show you?”

  “No…”

  Pearl had somehow reattached herself to Makaio like a cougar starfish hanging onto a rock, making it impossible for him move around Pai’s jeep. Instead, he scooted to the passenger side and stopped.

  “Malia, I tried to tell you but you walked away and when I caught up to you, you were upset and then…” He skipped over the part where he was about to kiss me when Pearl annihilated my car. “There just hasn’t been any time to tell you.”

  It was true. There had been no time to talk about anything. I had no reason to be mad, despite the clinging Pearl. I nodded my understanding and Makaio pulled my camera and phone out of the side pocket of his camo shorts.

  I was surprised to find they’d survived being tossed to the wind and our little episode in the ditch. Then again, I probably had a bruise somewhere on my body in the shape of a phone or camera from cushioning their impact. Taking a deep cleansing breath, I turned on the camera and hit the review button. My last picture, the one that had scared the ever-living crap out of me, showed Windy just as I remembered her. Bare boobed, her eyes wide, mouth open even wider with the shock of being caught in the act written all over her face. She held on to…

  Dear God…the headless body of the guard.

  My body shuddered at the graphic image. The pure animalistic violence was beyond my comprehension causing me to block out the image by squeezing my eyes closed. How could that be? I opened my eyes staring at John in disillusionment.

  Pai and John moved in closer to look at the graphic photo like bypassers attracted to the gore of an accident scene. Makaio spoke first.

  “Look again, Malia. The fern is blocking the view of his neck and her bo….his head is covered by her…chest.”

  Unable to view the senseless violence a third time, I peeked with one eye closed. Pai and John moved closer to the screen that I now held at arm’s length. Even Pearl gave up her rock to lean across the passenger seat and view the picture. John chuckled. A low rumble that built upon itself before he turned away in a full blown explosion of his amusement. I looked from John to Pai, who struggled not to reveal that gorgeous smile. But no, there it was in its finest (and whitest) before his head fell back in laughter.

  Pearl jerked her head back and then began to laugh in what I would describe as a cackle before I yanked my camera toward my chest.

  Obviously, I was missing the big picture. Again, I took a deep breath, pulled the camera away from my body and looked at it with both eyes open. I looked past the ‘eye-catching boobs’ glowing in the middle of the screen, delicate tattoos circling from below, and saw that in fact, James Kamakau’s head was attached to his neck, but it was hidden underneath Windy’s boobs in the most bizarre sexual act ever photographed. (Probably not, but I’m not exactly a connoisseur of porn.)

  I was the very definition of an eye-witness gone bad. I’d reacted with emotion and bias. My own bias against Windy. Imagining she was a wicked seed of the devil himself. (She still might fit that description, but she didn’t commit murder.)

  Pai gave me one of those big happy smiles with a low hearty chuckle. Even John completely forgave his little sister for pulling him out of bed. I did, after all, give him ammunition to use against me for years to come. Pearl continued with her wicked witch laugh and I leaned back in the front seat of the Jeep like a limp rag. The revelation of what I had really seen began to release the tension and horror of the fictional images trapped in my mind.

  Makaio pulled Pearl back and leaned across the passenger seat of the Jeep to whisper in my ear. “I don’t want to be smothered by silicone implants. I like the real thing.”

  I looked up and saw the heat in his eyes as they traveled the length of my body.


  Damn, that man could make me sweat.

  Pai cleared his throat and leaned in with one arm resting on the driver’s seat, his other arm effectively trapping me in, as it extended to the dash.

  “Baby Doll, are you ready to leave? I think you’ve earned a personal massage for the next two hours…at least.” He winked and I felt the flush spread across my face.

  At least Makaio’s declaration had been private. Pai’s claim was made and staked in front of way too many people. My brother sized him up in a way I hadn’t seen him do since my senior prom, while Makaio looked ready to meet his cousin toe-to-toe again. His earlier concern for Pai’s welfare was completely forgotten.

  Pearl managed to keep her claws on Makaio, leaving scratches all over his pumped up bicep while pulling him away from me. Suddenly envisioning what wild sex with an older woman might be like, the term ‘cougar’ now made sense.

  “Darlin,’ are you goin’ to finish fixin’ my plumbin’?”

  The torment in Makaio’s eyes was evident. Be with me, finish helping the old broad (I was probably the only one to see her that way), or kick his cousin’s butt.

  “Brah, you can’t leave the woman high and dry, or in this case…wet. Pearl needs you to fix her plumbing. Isn’t that what you do best?” Pai sent his cousin a happy grin.

  Makaio glared at Pai, who truly was enjoying his cousin’s predicament. The tension in the air was palpable.

  I don’t rattle easily, at least I didn’t before I pulled off Peter’s arm. Since then, life had been a living hell…mixed with every emotion possible, including balls to the wall explosive passion and I was beginning to understand the real meaning of bipolar, but enough was enough. I turned toward Pai and started in on him first.

  “Pai, leave Makaio alone. He was there when I needed him. You weren’t.” I watched Pai’s face become one of humility before turning on Makaio, whose expression had turned smug. At least until he realized he’d been caught.

  “Makaio, stop acting like a pit bull ready to attack, and go finish Cougar lady’s restroom so she doesn’t let any more women down when they trust her to watch the door to the men’s room.” Pearl was about to object, but I pointed a tired finger and stopped her cold turkey. “You better have insurance on that monstrosity you crunched my car with, or so help me, I will put those horns where the sun doesn’t shine.”