Resistance

by Allana Kephart

  My brother’s face woke me up again. The same nightmare has been with me for the past week or so — him plowing through this life I’ve made with the family who abducted me; a family that cares about me more than my blood one ever did. I am usually jolted awake when someone screams and Khan begins to laugh.

  I’m broken from my morbid reverie when the smell of coffee wafts up the stairs and into my room. I pull in an appreciative sigh and then remember the time. I glance over my shoulder again. The stars are still visible and the sun has yet to peek over the horizon. Who could be up at this hour?

  I stick the pressed leaf I’ve been using as a bookmark back in the book and roll out of the bed. Quietly I pull the door to my room open and peek around the corner. No signs of movement up here. Aodhan is seated at the top of the stairs with his head propped on his hand. The boy didn’t want his dad up all night, so he volunteered to do both shifts. He’s been shadowing me for almost twenty-six hours and he must be exhausted.

  “Aodhan?” I whisper; moving up behind him and trying to get a look down into the first floor. When he doesn’t respond, I tap his shoulder. “Aodhan.”

  He startles and shoots upright, looking up at me and flushing. I giggle and he ducks his head. “Hi.”

  “Tired?”

  He bites his lip and looks down. “I’m okay. I’m sorry, I—”

  I hold a finger over my lips so whoever is downstairs doesn’t hear him apologizing. “It’s okay,” I tell him, and gesture for him to follow me to the kitchen. He rubs his eyes and nods, stumbling down after me. He looks anxious, like he thinks I’m going to rat him out or something, but I plan to do the opposite.

  Fianna is standing by the coffee pot, glaring at it while it does its thing. She looks like a woman on a mission; someone who isn’t in the mood to wait for the coffee to brew. “You’re awake?” I say, skipping over to the counter. I hadn’t expected her to be an early riser.

  Fi stops and looks over her shoulder at me in surprise. She smiles at Aodhan and me and nods. “I am! Coffee?”

  “Please!” I grin at her look of shock. She probably hadn’t expected anyone to be awake at this hour either. “I didn’t know anyone was up as early as me. I was just telling Aodhan he should head home and get some rest. He’s been fantastic, but I know he must be tired.”

  “Oh!” Fi says, looking as though she’d like to smack herself. “Aodhan, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think to ask if you needed a shift change. Head on home — I’ll take care of Lu until Uncle Sea wakes up.”

  Aodhan smiles tiredly and looks at me with gratitude. I wink at him as he slips out the back door before looking back at Fi. “He’s a good kid.”

  “Yeah he is,” she agrees and smiles back. “As for your previous statement, I’m always awake early. Now, how do you like your coffee?”

  “Uh…I don’t know.” I wince and shake my head, feeling silly. “However your brother makes it, I guess. He’s the one who showed it to me.”

  Fi laughs. “I see. So you take a ton of sugar and milk.” She shakes her head with a smile on her face, obviously amused by something I am not picking up. “How would you like to have breakfast with me in the library? I don’t want to hang out down here…just to be safe.”

  Understanding that she doesn’t want Sean to walk in and cause a fuss if he were to see us chatting, I nod. “Sure!” Frankly, if I could, I would avoid Sean for the rest of my days here. He kind of scares the crap out of me.

  “Excellent!” Fi smiles. “We can bring everything up to the library in one of these fantastic baskets my aunt makes. Can you grab the milk for me?”

  “Yep.” I move around the counter and stick my head in the age-old refrigerator to retrieve the pitcher. When I look back at Fi, she is pouring coffee into a thermos and balancing two mugs and spoons on top of the coffee cake in a basket. “Do you want me to carry something else?” I ask. “I have decent balancing skills with food.”

  Fi considers this for a moment as she puts the sugar and napkins in the basket. She shakes her head and smiles. “Nope, just the milk. Follow me.”

  Impressed, I nod and follow her back up the stairs. We go up two flights of stairs and end up in a vast library. The shelves stack all the way to the ceiling, and each one is full to bursting with novels. If this had been in my house, I would never have left the room. I close my eyes and inhale the indescribable smell that comes from book paper and hear Fi giggle. “There’s a sofa and a table in the corner where you can eat, but please take your time and look around. You can feel free to read anything you like.”

  “Thank you,” I tell her, grinning. “I love to read. Keeps me sane, you know?” I see a book with a worn spine, some tape holding it in one piece and pick it up. The title is worn and scratched away from repeated use, and that mystery alone draws me in. I hug it to my side and move to sit with Fi. “You have an impressive selection here.”

  Fi looks around the room then, trying to see it through someone else’s eyes. Eventually she nods and looks at me again. “My grandparents built it. Took them a month, but they cleared out a local library and my Granddad custom built these shelves and installed them all according to Gran’s specifications.” She stops and a dumbfounded look crosses her eyes, like she can’t believe she shared something like that. “I love to read, too. There’s nothing like it.”

  “There really isn’t,” I answer and smile, then take another look at the shelves. They’re all perfect, not a splinter or weird curve in sight, and each is stained beautifully. “He made these all by himself?” I ask. “Pure talent.”

  “He did,” Fi says with a huge smile. “I don’t remember him. He passed away when I was really young.”

  “I’m sorry,” I tell her. I reach forward, grab the thermos of coffee and fill one of the mugs about halfway up before passing it to Fi. “Sometimes it’s easiest not to know them well, but it’s never fun to lose someone.”

  Fi nods and looks down at her own mug of coffee; dumping a heaping teaspoon of sugar into it and stirring methodically. “It was harder with my Gran,” she shares. “She and I were close, and she taught me so much.” A sad look comes over her and she shakes her head. “Have some of this cake. It’s amazing.”

  I smile a little sadly and reach for a piece of cake. It’s obvious she doesn’t want to share a whole lot right now, but I can’t help but ask, “Your paternal grandmother?”

  “Yes,” she says with a small smile. “Dad’s mother. I was nine when she passed, and I was right there with her. I was reading to her…” She stops, a misty look in her eyes, and shakes her head. “I try not to think about it, honestly. I still miss her every day.”

  “You poor thing,” I say, and have to force myself to stay seated and not hug her right on the spot. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m okay, but I feel bad for Eir,” she says. “He didn’t get to know her nearly as well as I did. She really was amazing.” Fi lets out a measured breath and shakes her head. “Let’s talk about something else.”

  “Yes,” I agree, but nothing comes to mind. I shift the book over in my lap and take a bite out of the cinnamon coffee cake. Is a conversation about the awesomeness of brown sugar odd? I’m about to say this when I look up and see Fi is staring at my arm — again. It isn’t the first time I’ve caught someone looking at it over the few days I’ve been here. Eir glares at it like it personally offends him and Flint always looks baffled, whereas Fi and the rest of her family look flat-out confused. No one ever asks. “You can say it,” I blurt suddenly, needing to know what she’s thinking.

  “I’m sorry, Lu, I didn’t mean to stare,” she says; flushing in embarrassment and looking down at her lap. “What…I mean… Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Don’t be sorry,” I remind her. “I’m willing to talk about it, yes.”

  Fi watches me for a moment and I look down; my eyes locking on the brand. I’m thrown back to the center of town for a moment and taste bile, but Fi’s whispered words shock me back to the pres
ent. “What happened?”

  “Depends who you ask,” I say bitterly, startling even myself. I shake my head and clear my throat before looking up and meeting her eyes. How do I even begin to explain this? “Um…the short of it…” I start, not sure she’s interested in hearing all the seedy details, “…is that my brother set me up and my father saw this as a fitting punishment.”

  Fi’s eyes widen so large it’s almost comical. She gapes at me for a few seconds; her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Then she blurts, “Your brother set you up?” so loud it has to be heard on every level of the house. I wince and she exhales. “God, Lu…I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine not being able to trust my own brother.”

  I’m stunned by the dark look that crosses her features, and can’t figure out what to say in response. I am trying to collect my thoughts when Fi says, “I am so sorry we didn’t get you out of there sooner, Lu.”

  “No!” I blurt, and mentally pat myself on the back for making my mouth work. “Don’t be ridiculous, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

  Fi doesn’t seem to hear me, though. Her eyes are locked on the brand now, but instead of mild puzzlement and curiosity she scowls at it in shock and irritation. “What in the world could have been so bad that your father felt that was justifiable?”

  This is embarrassing, I think. This is just a flat-out embarrassing story on my part. I should have known not to trust him. After so many years, you’d think I would realize he wasn’t my friend. Fi wouldn’t say that though, right? “Khan took me to a party. Didn’t tell anyone and didn’t take any guards, so it was just him and me.” I feel cold even thinking about this. “The majority of the people there were humans who had given up on life and just wanted to get drunk and laid. Someone must have seen we were missing, because some of our guards showed up. I happened to be closer to the door and they grabbed me.”

  Fi’s jaw is tight, and part of me thinks I should stop talking. Fi isn’t stupid, though, and I know she will realize if I cut off abruptly. I don’t want her to think I don’t want to share with her, so I puff out a breath and say, “Khan, though… He saw them before they saw him, and…he ran.”

  Fi is silent for a minute and I get nervous. When I look up she is choking on her tongue again, shaking her head. “He left you there? Just took off to save his sorry hide, and left you there to get persecuted?”

  After centuries of being told Khan is always in the right, I am honestly stunned by Fi’s anger over this topic. I swallow past the lump in my throat and say, “It’s not an unusual occurrence.” The look on Fi’s face suggests this does not make her feel any better, and I rush on. “He took the horse and got home before we could. Khan told our father he wasn’t with me, and Father believed him.” The brand begins to itch as if it’s a brand new scratch, and I scowl at it. “It, um…it wasn’t the first time I’d been caught out past curfew, and this…was so he didn’t have to send his guards out to try and find me. I would just be returned like wandering humans are when someone noticed me—”

  I stop abruptly; remembering Fi is human and probably doesn’t want to know any more details about how the other humans are treated in the Courts. Her face is deep red, but it doesn’t appear that I’ve offended her. She shakes her head. “Lu…I honestly don’t know how you managed to stay so sweet. I…I’m so sorry they did that to you. Eirnin and I might have our differences at times, but he’d never let anyone hurt me. And I feel the same with him.” She clears her throat and rolls her eyes heavenward for a moment, so distraught over this. “My dad would never have put a mark on me. I just…I’m so sorry, Lu. You deserve better than that.”

  I keep myself from telling her not to be sorry again. Instead I scoot closer to the edge of the chair and nudge her knee with my palm. “Well I’m with you guys now, right?” I ask. “This is…This is way better.” I find it’s the truth. The Dolans have a much different arsenal of rules and beliefs than my family does—for example, Fi’s father would never hurt her and her brother loves her to death. This is new to me—but I have found I don’t go to sleep shaking in fear that someone will come up with another thing I’ve done that I need to be punished for, because in this house, eating one pea too many isn’t something you get smacked for. I am enjoying the peace.

  A smile splits her face and she puts her hand on my shoulder. “Yes. You’re here now, and I hope you know we won’t let anyone harm you — ever, Lu. You’re part of our family now.”

  Warmth collects in my chest and I let out a sigh of relief. The insanity of this whole situation is hard to digest, but I refuse to question it. I love this place, I love these people and I get the feeling they feel the same about me too. Something about that makes me want to laugh and cry all at once, and the only thing that stops that is Fi quietly asking, “How are you doing?”

  I blink the moisture from my eyes and smile. “I…I’m awesome, actually. Your brother is a sweetheart, and you and Flint have been amazing.” A laugh bubbles up in my throat and I add, “Honestly, I’ve had more fun in the past few days than I’ve had my entire life.”

  Her mouth curves into a huge smile and she straightens a little with pride. “I’m glad you’re happy here, Lu, and I hope you’ll consider this your home, too. No matter what, you’ll always have a place here.”

  She reaches forward and grabs my hand when she says this and gives it a squeeze; her eyes locked firmly on mine. I return the gesture and say, “I appreciate it, Fi.” She nods and I add, “Really. It means a lot.”

  She smiles. “Good, that’s settled then. Now tell me, what’s your favorite book?”

  I don’t know if it’s the randomness of the question that throws me or what, but I can’t seem to settle on just one book to save my life. A few come to mind — mostly consisting of storylines in which the main character runs away from home — but are any of them really my favorite? “That’s just a cruel question,” I tell her. “I have several. What about you? Do you have a favorite?”

  Fi laughs and nods her head, amused by my answer. “My very favorite book is Little Women, but I love so many more.”

  “I haven’t read that one yet,” I admit, blushing a little. “I borrowed it from you, I hope you don’t mind. Eirnin brought it up to me a few nights ago. It’s fantastic so far.”

  She seems to light up from the inside at the concept of someone else reading her favorite books and she nods her head again. “Oh, I can’t wait until you finish it! We’ll have to talk about it.”

  “I’ll keep you updated.” I giggle. “No one has ever been interested in what I’m reading before. It’s cool,” I marvel aloud.

  “There is no one around here who loves reading as much as I do,” she says with a hint of disappointment. “Except Eir, and honestly, he doesn’t really enjoy the same type of books I do. He once accused me of trying to ‘sissify’ him.”

  I throw my head back and laugh. If anyone could look at Eirnin and have the moxie to call him a sissy, they must be itching to be smashed. I shake my head, overwhelmed by giggles. “I highly doubt that was your intent. What book did he think was going to make him a sissy?”

  “It wasn’t my intention, but I honestly didn’t think much about it until after he threw a fit.” She giggles. “It was Jane Eyre. Oh, well — he survived and he’s still very much a boy, so, it’s all good, I suppose.”

  “Yes, I don’t think anyone with a brain would be brave enough to call him a sissy,” I tell her. “Very, um…large young man, he is.”

  She laughs. “Yes he is. If he gets any taller, I’m going to have to start altering tents for him to wear as pants.” She’s quiet for a moment and then asks, “What sort of music do you like?”

  Now that I can answer. “Depends on the day…or the decade.” I laugh. “I love the strong female voices… Joan Jett, Florence + the Machine—” I stop. Those people haven’t been around and popular for almost a full century now. Surely anyone born after the war began wouldn’t have heard of them. “They’re both a
bout a hundred years before your time,” I say nervously. “How about you?”

  Fi’s eyes light up. “I know them both! I love Florence!” Shock must show on my face because she elaborates her history wit. “Gran had a very extensive music collection, and there are tons of abandoned stores still half-standing throughout the city. So over the years I’ve investigated a few of them. I even have an old stereo system. I’ll have to show you my music collection sometime.”

  “That would be awesome!” I say, smiling brightly.

  She pauses. “You know, we might have another stereo type thing up in the attic. Would you want it in your room? Eir is always in need of another project.” An almost evil grin takes over her face.

  Something like warmth settles in my chest and I almost squeal in excitement. Something to define I have a distinct personality and character in the bedroom I’m staying in? Something to say the room is actually mine? To say I belong here? I don’t know if I want to scream or faint, but I find myself laughing again. “Your poor brother! If it’s not too much trouble I would love that! That would be so much fun.”

  Fi smirks at me. “It’s not any trouble at all. Plus, if he finds out it’s for you, he won’t even complain about the cobwebs.”

  Chapter 18—Flint

  July 2102

  Fi doesn’t know, but since we returned from the Winter Court with Lumi I’ve been acting as a sort of guard against possible treachery from Sean. Tonight my plan was to go in my room, stick my clothes in the hamper, morph into a fox and go outside her door as I have been. There is a crack in the plaster just beside her door, revealing a small gap between the walls, separated by wood. It’s a tight fit, but I pull it off.

  What I didn’t count on was how long it takes Fi to fall asleep when she’s stressing.

  The clock on the wall tells me it’s just past midnight. Everyone called lights out about two hours ago, but I can still hear the pounding of feet in Fi’s room. The couch groans as I roll onto my back and watch the ceiling. I was waiting out here because I considered taking a short walk before jamming myself in a wall made almost entirely out of iron, but here I still lay, waiting for her to go to bed.