Sunday Funday

by Annalise Wells

  “I’ll work out how we can get into the club in the next few days, but we don’t have much time,” Mikey says.

  Janey smiles. “I’ll prep the girls, we have to find you some sexy leather clothes.”

  “Leather?”

  “You can’t go in in a dress, you have to look like you’re there for sex.”

  Mikey pouts his face. “Jesus, why do I always end up doing these sorts of things?” He smiles. “I mean, chosen for them.”

  Mikey stands and walks from the office shaking his head. He stops and turns to look back through the window. I salute him and I can hear Brent and Bell sniggering behind me.

  “Don’t laugh, it isn’t fair,” I say chuckling.

  “I know. But it’s Mikey,” Janey says through her tight lips.

  Bob slams his hand on his desk, and we all turn to him. “Do you know how half-witted this idea sounds?” he asks. His face looks annoyed.

  “Yeah, that’s why it might just work,” I say. “You have to find out as much as you can about security systems, or what they have protecting the cash.”

  “I’m going to have another ride up there,” Ty says. “Maybe I can see something that will help us.”

  I look at him. “Just be careful, you don’t want to be recognized.”

  “No one knows me. But it does mean, I won’t be able to go to the club.”

  I stare at Ty. “Anyone would think you’re doing that on purpose.”

  “And miss the opportunity of seeing Mikey in drag! Never.”

  “As far as I’m concerned, being any gender is a real drag.”

  Janey

  “People work for money but go the extra mile for recognition, praise and rewards.”

  The girls had been prepped on the plan to transform Mikey from an ugly duckling into a princess. Really, it would not be easy, but it would do him good in the long run. His final transformation into someone who was actually presentable was just around the corner.

  Gone would be the last traces of his seventies pornstar appeal and the large collars, including the ‘splash it all over’ approach to his cologne. Mikey was going to be dragged into the twenty-first century. And maybe, he might just find a woman who is attracted to him, or he might find himself a nice man.

  The girls are going through their routines again, and I see Britney sitting on the part of the stage where Owen and I had some wicked sex. I smile to myself as one of the front desk staff come running into the club.

  “Janey. There is a big, black SUV pulling up outside.”

  “What?”

  “A big, black SUV.”

  Crap. It sounds like the coucielors are finally paying a visit.

  “If they want to come in, stall them as long as you can,” I say.

  I run back through the club and call Cally and Bell as I enter the courtyard. “What is it?” Bell asks.

  “I think we finally have a visit from the councilors,” I say.

  Bell’s face turns pale. “Shit! They can’t see me.”

  “Or Brent, take him upstairs with you and wait,” I say. “This fucks us up for the swingers club. I’ll have to speak to them, and Brent will have to hide and go to the club by himself,” I say.

  “You’re going to talk to them alone?” Cally asks.

  “I have to. There are no other guys here, only Bob, and they won’t believe he is an owner.”

  “No, take Bob he can just hold the permits, he can be your personal assistant or something,” Cally says.

  “Feasible.”

  Cally runs to Bob's office. He comes outside clutching the folder of permits Mikey had worked so hard to get.

  “Bob, you understand who these people are?” I ask.

  “Of course. I know them intimately,” he says giggling.

  “I forgot you had all that information on them,” I say. “Are you ready?”

  “Grrr. Let me at them,” Bob says giggling.

  We walk through the club to the reception. I can see the four guys standing and talking. It’s hard to believe they’re so corrupt, they just look like regular suits from a government agency coming for an inspection.

  “Hi there,” I say as we approach.

  “Good morning, and you are?” one of the guy’s asks.

  He isn’t one of the two in charge.

  “Just call me Janey. Is there anything I can help you with?”

  “We have heard a few things about this place. We just came for a look around,” he says. “We were not aware there was any construction going on.”

  “We don’t like to cause too much disruption to the neighbors,” I reply smiling.

  This is the guy (or gal) who is in charge…

  “I don’t think you fully understand how things work around these parts.” He wipes his bottom lip with his finger. “We say what does and what doesn’t happen.”

  “I’m sorry we seem to have bypassed you,” I say apologetically. “And you are?”

  “Regine,” he replies giggling. “Oops, sorry Reginald. Regine is my stage name.”

  “I see.”

  “Are you the owner of this place?” Reginald asks.

  “No, I’m just in charge at the moment. The owner is in Jamaica with another venture.”

  “And you’re allowed to make financial decisions regarding this place?”

  “Yes, she is,” Bob says. I turn to Bob and stare at him to be quiet.

  Reginald waves his finger at Bob. “I take it you’re her man Friday?”

  Bob smiles and pushes his spectacles back up his nose. “You can say I’m a man for every day of the week.”

  “Charming fellow you have there, Janey,” Reginald says.

  “Do you want a tour, or is there something I can actually help you with?” I ask.

  “Contributions to the state of Las Vegas,” Reginald says.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”

  Here we go, they’re going to ask for money. Bitch you won’t get a penny from us.

  “We impose a surcharge, non-refundable on all constructions to help support Vegas and the surrounding areas.”

  Yeah. And I know which surrounding area.

  “And you’re suggesting?” I ask.

  “I think for this place, a nice round figure of one million. Then you won’t have any problems.”

  I look at Reginald and the other three guys who are just listening. It’s easy to see who is in charge. “What sort of problems would we have?” I ask.

  “Issuance of permits, there can be some very long delays in applications these days, there is so much construction in the city. Take the one at the other end of the strip.”

  “Ah, you mean the Russian lady,” I reply. The two guys behind Reginald stare at me.

  Go on. Look you fuckers. We know more about you.

  “I see you have heard,” he answers, unperturbed. “So you know she has only just been granted permission to proceed with construction.”

  “I’m sure we won’t have any of the same hiccups,” I reply smiling.

  “You never know.”

  “I think I do,” I reply.

  “Fire inspections on places like this can be horrendous,” Reginald says.

  I click my fingers and Bob hands me the fire certificate. “Passed and issued,” I say, showing Reginald the permit.

  I hear a sigh because Reginald wasn’t expecting that response. “Gaming committee. They can be a real bitch, and I see you have quite a few tables.”

  Another permit is passed to me from Bob’s folder. “Well! The way your boy is holding that folder, it appears you have been busy?” Reginald says.

  I glance around at the other three guys as they whisper and look toward us. “We have everything we need, and no one mentioned anything about contributions. I think we’re ready to go,” I say smiling. “Do you want to have a look through our permits?”

  “No.”

  Reginald turns his back to us and joins the conversation with the other three guys. I hear him mention the word
“cunt” a couple of times before he walks to the exit.

  One of the other guys steps forward. “Janey is it?” he says. “This isn’t how we operate, and we’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

  Bob steps forward. He uses a snobby accent, “Richard, I suggest you run along, or we’ll mention your little cocaine habit,” Bob says.

  Richard glares at Bob and then glances over his shoulder. “How the fuck did you know that?” he asks.

  “You would be surprised what a man Friday knows about you. About all of you,” Bob says grinning.

  Richard slowly turns his back to walk away. “Richard, it’s us who is watching you,” I say. “Every day of the week.”

  Bob stands beside me as Richard walks quickly toward the door glancing over his shoulder every now and again. “Hi five,” Bob says.

  I raise my hand and give Bob a high five. “You did the right thing there Bob. Just at the right time,” I say, impressed by his brilliance.

  “You were lucky I could remember what the deal was with him,” Bob says.

  We turn and begin walking back through the reception into the club. “Bob, you never forget anything, you know more about all of this than all of us put together,” I say.

  “It’s a good job I keep a lot of notes about everything then,” Bob says.

  I turn to Bob and look at him. “You keep notes?” I ask.

  “I have things going back to day one when it all started,” Bob says smiling.

  “What do you keep all them for?” I ask.

  “You have no idea how useful it is to have notes. I can refer back to them at any point in time.”

  “I can’t remember last week, and especially not months ago,” I say as we enter his office.

  “Now you see why I keep notes.”

  “You have information on me?” I ask.

  Bob sits at his desk and begins laughing. “Janey, I have information on everyone here.”

  “I’m not sure I like the sound of that,” I say frowning.

  “I have been asked to do so many checks into backgrounds, I do it out of habit. All in the name of research.” Bob files the folder back into his desk drawer.

  I grab hold of the door handle to the office and turn my head to him. “I think you better get cracking with that information on the swingers club,” I say. “I don’t think Regine was thrilled with us.”

  “Don’t worry about those guys. We have enough information on them to stop them dead in their tracks.”

  “Geez, I had nearly forgotten, we’re exposing them as well as taking their cash.”

  “See. Now, do you understand why I keep notes?”

  “Bob, you’re the best. Just do what you do, you deserve an award for all of this.”

  “One day, Janey. One day.”

  “People work for money but go the extra mile for recognition, praise and rewards.”

  Owen

  “Information is like water. Difficult to hold on to, and hard to keep from leaking away.”

  Janey had kicked the councilors out for now, but they would not be too happy about missing out on another payday. Reginald or Regine, or whatever he called himself, he was the ringleader for sure. Two just took the money and enjoyed the benefits. Richard, as Bob had mentioned, enjoyed shoving things up his nose, so he was a liability for them.

  “Do you think we’ll have any more to do with them? Janey asks.

  “I think they’ll have quite a few discussions about us over the course of a couple of days,” I reply.

  “Reginald was pissed, and not just from a business side. We have a one up on him, and you know ‘hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.'”

  That was going to be the main issue with the councilors. It was going to be Reginald's womanly pride that would cause the most complications this week. Janey explained she thought he would hold grudges. We were prepared for grudges, a couple of keystrokes from Bob and everything about the corruption deals and the non-paying of taxes would be sent out into the open. This we were going to do anyway, but it was a backup plan until then, in case we heard from them again.

  I pull up a chair at Brent’s dining table and lick my lips over the pancakes that Bell has just prepared.

  “These are special, banana pancakes,” Bell says.

  “They smell delicious,” I reply.

  “What do we have planned for today? I ask.

  Janey grins at Bell. “We have to start preparing Mikey, later.” She laughs.

  “What do you mean preparing?” I ask.

  “He has to have some serious waxing, his legs are really bushy.”

  Jesus Christ. How much is that going to hurt? And that’s just his legs.

  “Do you think he will pass as, you know, one of those, um?” Brent asks.

  “Once we have finished with him. He will be the queen of the party,” Bell says as she forks a large piece of pancake into her mouth.

  “Regine will be jealous,” I say.

  Janey sips from her glass and wipes her mouth. “That is the distraction we’re looking for, we don’t need Regine's guy to take a shine to him,” she says. “Just to cause a distraction while either Bell or Mikey can do something with their glasses.”

  “What about the wives of the councilors?” I ask.

  “They keep away from those two. The other two are single, that Richard and the other guy. Players taking advantage of the high life.”

  “High life being the optimum word with his drug habit,” Janey says.

  “Now, there’s a thought of how to get him with the drugs. We can crumble a couple of the tablets, and he will be all ours if he takes the bait,” I say. “He won’t know what’s hit him.”

  “We just have to get him in an area where we can introduce it to him. Don’t forget we’re mostly naked,” Bell says.

  “Not being one to state the obvious, but you have two, brilliant, wonderful, and fantastic card dealers under your nose, a simple pack of white powder will be easy to conceal,” Brent says.

  “You want to take Karen to a swingers club?” Bell says.

  Brent grins. “She can be Owen’s partner, Janey can’t go now, they have seen her face.”

  “We plucked her from a dead end job in the bedding department, and now you want her to strip butt naked in a swingers club and get her to give drugs to a city official?” Bell says plainly.

  “Nearly. I can do the talking to him. I might just need her assistance to get it past the security,” Brent says.

  “We have to ask her in the right way, I’m not going to make myself look a fool,” Bell says.

  “Karen is cool. I’m sure she has seen it all before,” I say.

  “Owen, you have never seen anything like it. Heaving bodies everywhere. Cocks in mouths and vaginas on faces, right in front of you.”

  “My god Bell, do you have to go into so much detail over pancakes?” Janey says.

  “Sorry. I’m just a little protective of Karen.”

  “We should actually decide who is going to go, this could be crucial,” I say.

  “We have Brent and me for starters. Mikey can just be a friend,” Bell states.

  “Karen can be with me, and then I think we need two others,” I say.

  “Cally and Ty, it has to be,” Bell says. “They have the smarts to see what is happening.”

  “Shit, Ty was going to be stealthing. We’ll see what he says. Now all we have is two things to do, and we can go again,” I say as I start grinning.

  Janey looks at me suspiciously. “And what might they be?”

  I feel my shoulders jiggling up and down as I giggle. “We just have to get the day we can pay a visit, and we have to come up with a sexy name for Mikey.”

  “Michelle?” Janey says.

  “God, that is really common. Have something seductive, ‘Soraya,'” Bell says.

  “Soraya?” I say.

  “Yes, it’s Persian or Arabic, it means jewel I think,” Bell says.

  Janey looks at me. “You have to admit, Mike
y is being a real gem by doing this.”

  “I’m not disagreeing with that, and I can’t get my head over how much waxing he will need,” I reply.

  “Now who is giving too much information over pancakes?” Bell says. “And we can’t use that pink limo again, that is just way too obvious.”

  Janey turns to me. “We can go separately, there is nothing to say we have to go in together.”

  “I’ll take Mikey with us,” I say. “He can make his introduction while you’re with Regine.”

  “Two other cars then, one for Karen and me, and one for Cally and Ty.”

  “I better get going, I have to get Susan to the pharmacy for these pills,” I say as I stand up from my chair. “Do any of you know the texture of cocaine?”

  Janey stands and glares at me. “I think you’re asking the wrong people.”

  “Not exactly true,” Brent says. “I have seen some of the dealers cutting it in the washrooms halfway through a night shift.”

  Bell looks at Brent firmly. “You used to do a lot of night shifts. That’s what you told me?” she says.

  “I never used. My thrill was from dealing, you know cards just make me so horny,” Brent replies.

  “There were no cards in your bedroom that night,” adds Janey. I glare at her and Brent laughs.

  “That is another thing I’ll have to speak to you about,” he says laughing. “We knew you were both there the whole time.”

  “The whole time?” I ask.

  Brent laughs. “Yep!”

  Stepping into the courtyard, Susan comes walking toward me with a piece of paper in her hand. “Are you ready?” she asks.

  “Yeah. Do you think the pharmacy will give you the meds with an old date on the prescription.”

  “We can only try. But I’ll have to go in myself, if there are two of us, they might suspect.”

  We head to the end of the street and drive toward the pharmacy that we hope stock the meds that Susan used to use.

  “Do you think this will work?” she asks.

  “I think this side of it yes, getting the money out, I’m not so sure,” I reply.

  Susan turns to me as I pull the car in front of the pharmacy. “If there is one thing I’ve noticed with you lot, you always find a way to do what seems impossible.”