Full Circle (Shattered Lives, Book Five)

by Rissa Blakeley

  Nicky squealed and danced around.

  Anne walked into the kitchen and glanced at the pie. “Looks great.”

  “My mother’s recipe. It was one of Henry’s favorites.” Elaina smiled. “But, then again, what sweet wasn’t his favorite?”

  Anne giggled. “Very true.”

  Elaina glanced down at Nicky again, tousling his haphazard black locks. “This is going to be difficult.”

  Smile fading, Anne rolled her lips into her mouth. “It will be, but we can do this. We will be strong for each other.”

  Elaina chomped down on her bottom lip in a vain attempt to keep her already trembling chin still. She exhaled loudly and shook her hands at her sides. “I have a gift for you.”

  “We can wait until tomorrow. It’s not Christmas yet.”

  “I’d like to do it now, if that’s okay.”

  “Whatever you need to do is fine with me.”

  Elaina rushed into the family room, Anne following behind, and grabbed the thin, silver package with a blue bow she had wrapped earlier that morning. Her hands shook as she turned and held it out to her mother-in-law. She struggled not to let a sob out, although heavy tears ran from her eyes.

  “Oh, sweetie,” Anne whispered.

  “Merry Christmas.”

  Anne accepted the gift, taking a moment to admire the packaging, her long, thin fingers tracing the edges of the embossed snowflakes. Dread washed over her, encompassing every emotion.

  She gazed up at Elaina. “I should sit.”

  “Good plan.”

  Elaina took Anne’s hand and guided her to the couch. As they sat together, she eyed the box of tissues that had earned a permanent spot on top of Henry’s trunk they used as a coffee table.

  Nicky toddled around, then sat in front of the tree, playing with some of the ornaments.

  Anne tugged at the satin bow, pulling it free from the package. She flipped the gift over and stared at the seam, wondering if she truly wanted to open this already emotional moment and expose it for what it really was. Sliding her nail under a strip of tape, it split, allowing her to do the same to the other two pieces. She unfolded the paper, noting the exposed portion was the back of a picture frame.

  Her swallow was harsh as she reached for a tissue and brushed the tears from her cheeks. Thinking she may need it again, she tucked it under the sleeve of her sweater.

  When she flipped the gift over, she studied it, appreciating the simple black frame and white matte around two items. Resting a hand on her chest, her heart sputtered as her gaze darted back and forth.

  Elaina cleared her throat and tapped on the glass. “That’s the letter he wrote to you. I took the page straight from his journal. I found this picture of you and him on my phone, so I had it enhanced and printed.”

  When their sullen gazes connected, they fell into one another, crying.

  “Thank you so much,” Anne said, choking on a sob. She pulled away and wiped her cheeks with the tissue from her sleeve. “I’ve often wondered if he left a note.”

  Nodding, Elaina wiped her own cheeks. “He did. One for you, Nicky, Gunther, and me. I just couldn’t bear to share them before now. I know it was selfish, but it was what I needed to do.”

  “Can I read the others?”

  “Well, you may see Gunther’s when we exchange gifts later, but I might give it to him in private so he can have a moment to get through it. I’ve done something similar for him, which is why I wanted to give this to you now. I’ve framed Nicky’s, as well, and will be hanging it on his wall. It’s a beautiful message to him.”

  Anne glanced down at the frame and ran her fingertips over Henry’s words. “I feel he’s here with us. Seeing his words and knowing how he felt…” She shook her head. “This means the world to me. This is the only picture I have of just him and me.”

  “That’s why I wanted to make sure you had it framed.”

  Anne glanced at her watch. “We should probably get going.” Reluctantly, she set the gift on the trunk, swiping her fingers across Henry’s face once more before standing.

  The cabbie pulled into Gunther and Cora’s driveway. Carly, the mother of one of Gunther’s biological sons, dug into her purse and handed the gentleman his fare, including a healthy tip. She wished him a happy holiday before ushering Joel from the seat.

  With small shopping bags stuffed with colorful packages in one hand and Joel’s mitten-covered hand firmly in the other, they walked up the path toward the house.

  Soft, white lights intertwined with evergreen boughs wrapped around the railings lit the front porch.

  “Momma, lights!” Joel exclaimed.

  Carly smiled as she gazed at the fresh wreath adorned with blue and silver bulb ornaments decorating the front door. “It’s all very pretty, isn’t it?” He nodded. She patted him on the back. “Go ahead and knock. Maybe Daddy will be the one who answers.”

  Joel reached out and knocked, then quickly yanked his fist away as he bounced up and down on the toes of his boots. He squeezed his hands together, waiting. His genuine excitement made Carly smile.

  When Gunther opened the door, Joel rushed in and jumped into his arms. Grinning, Gunther said, “I’ve missed you, buddy. It’s been, like, a whole three days since I’ve seen you.” Joel reared back, kissing him on the cheek.

  Carly rested a hand on her son’s back. “Tell Daddy what we’ve been practicing.”

  “Merry Christmas, Daddy.”

  “Oh, buddy… Merry Christmas to you, too.” Happy to have them at his home to celebrate, he smiled at Carly. “Thank you.” Gunther set Joel down and helped him out of his winter gear. “Si and Grey are watching TV. Why don’t you go sit with them?” After he ran off, Gunther refocused on Carly. “Let me take your coat.”

  “Thanks.” She shrugged it off and handed it to him, then held up the gift bags. “I brought a bottle of wine for you and Cora, and a couple small gifts from Joel for everyone.”

  “Carly…” Gunther shook his head, hanging her coat on the rack next to the door. “You shouldn’t have.”

  She waved her hand through the air. “It’s just little stuff…books and whatnot. He had such a good time picking them out.”

  “I’m sure they will love them.” He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her cheek. She relaxed into him, cherishing these small moments. “You look beautiful. Thank you for coming.”

  “Thank you for having us,” she said, stepping away, looking around at all the simple, subtle holiday décor.

  Carly wanted this life. Being in his arms and hearing his voice was cozy, but it also invigorated her with a touch of hope and a hint of excitement when she thought about the everyday conundrums of a real relationship. To have a beautiful home, filled to the brim with family, was all a dream for her.

  Jealousy of Cora’s and his relationship overwhelmed her at times. Seeing them and their connection made her angry with Gunther all over again, but she played strong and saved face for Joel. She wanted her son to grow up in a loving environment filled with family, but it was just out of her reach.

  “You and Joel are always welcome here.” Gunther smiled. “Cora’s in the kitchen baking a cake with my girls.”

  As they walked through the dining room, Cora yelled, “Everette! No!”

  “I have a sneaking suspicion my little princess isn’t being too helpful,” Gunther said as they rounded the corner of the kitchen.

  A cloud of white powder hovered in the air, all four of the girls looking ghostly.

  He waved his arm, trying to clear his view. “Suffering hell, what happened?”

  Placing her hands on her hips, Cora shut her eyes for a moment in an obvious attempt to stay calm. She let out a harsh breath through her nose, sending out a puff of powder. “Your daughter turned the mixer all the way up when I put the powdered sugar in.” Gunther’s lips twitched. “Don’t you dare laugh, Gunther.” His chin trembled. “Don’t, Gunther Erikkson. I am warning you.”

  He lost all composure.
>
  Gunther buckled over, laughing. Carly followed suit, as well as Kate, Callie, and Everette. Cora, glaring at him, was the only one not finding humor in the situation.

  “I’m sorry,” he said through a chuckle. “But you should see yourself.” He wiped tears from his eyes. “You look like you’ve been dipped in a bag of sugar.”

  “You are insufferable,” Cora said, another puff of sugar filling the air when she turned to face the counter.

  Carly took a deep breath to control her laughter. “I’ll help you clean up, Cora.”

  “Thank you.” She threw the hand towel off her shoulder and onto the counter. More sugar went into the air, making Gunther laugh again.

  He gazed down at his watch. “Anne, Elaina, and Nicky should be here soon. I’m sure they will be more than willing to help, as well.” Cora turned and intensely stared at him. Pointing his thumb over his shoulder, he started to back away. “I’m going to go make sure the boys don’t burn down the house.”

  “Yeah, good idea,” Cora mumbled.

  “What can I do to help?” Carly asked, walking into the powder-filled room.

  Cora stared at the leggy redhead who definitely looked like a goddess. “Kate, can you take the girls to the restroom and help them clean up and change?”

  “Yes, I can,” Kate said, looking between both women. She turned away and picked up Everette. “Let’s go, Evie and Callie.”

  Cora smiled, watching their lightly dusted bodies walk away, tracking sugar with every step.

  “Your children are beautiful,” Carly said. “I don’t believe I’ve ever said that to you.”

  “You haven’t to me, no, but thank you.”

  Carly nodded, suddenly regretting volunteering to help. Cora didn’t seem too forthcoming with conversation. “So… Do you have a vacuum or broom?”

  “Let’s get the counters cleaned first, then we will worry about the floors.” Cora pulled a towel from the drawer and handed it to Carly. She stared at her for another long moment. “I’m sorry. Can I just say something? I need to get it off my chest.”

  “Sure.”

  “Everything between us has been sketchy, at best. Fake smiles and such for the sake of Joel and Gunther. This charade needs to come to an end.”

  “You’re right,” Carly said. “We’re grown women. We need to set a better example for our children.”

  “I know you still love him. I see how you look at him.” Carly’s gaze dropped as she began wiping down the countertop. “I’ve watched your behavior around him this whole time.”

  Carly glanced up. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”

  “I understand, but know that we love each other implicitly.” She hoped that was how Gunther felt anyway.

  “I understand that,” Carly muttered, shaking the towel out over the sink.

  Cora shut her eyes for a moment. “This isn’t coming out how I wanted to say it.” She took Carly’s arm and pulled her around to face her. “I love your son like he’s my own. He’s part of Gunther. I think you’ve done a wonderful job raising him. I want to also let you know how jealous I am of you.”

  “Me? Why would you be jealous of me?”

  “You’re stunning. You are a professional businesswoman. A dream for any man. Me, on the other hand…” She gestured to herself. “I’m a mom. I have a mom’s body. I dress like a mom. I have children tugging on my pant legs every moment of the day. At times, I may have a dirty diaper in one hand and be breast feeding my youngest in the other while on the way to punish one child and chase another down who is being naughty.

  “While you are a mother, you are together. Nice clothes, make-up, beautiful hair. I haven’t worn an ounce of make-up in years, and my hair is usually in a ponytail.”

  Carly frowned. “Do you think you’re not pretty?”

  “Look at me.”

  “Well, the powdered sugar doesn’t do much for you, but other than that…”

  The two women chuckled. “I’m sorry. I just… I don’t know.” Cora blew out a breath.

  “It’s okay. I’m jealous of you because you have all this. Because you have things like sugar all over, a man to laugh with, a house full of children… A house, for crying out loud.” She shook her head. “Yes, I love him. He stole a piece of me when we met, crushing the rest when he walked away. He was very much a smooth-talker, so he got what he wanted.”

  “He’s far from that man now.”

  “I know. I know he’s yours, and I respect that. While I believe I’ll always have feelings for him, I would never disrespect that again.”

  “Again?”

  “Did he tell you about when he first sought me out?”

  Cora stood still for a moment, thinking about that day. It was the evening after she first met Carly. Gunther stared at her in the hallway of Elaina’s house as Cora spoke cruel words to him. The disgusting way she made him feel, luring him in with sweetness just so she could hurt again, trying to make him feel her pain. Then his confession…

  “Yes. You kissed him and he kissed you back.”

  “Then he put a stop to it because of you. He was uncertain of your future, but he knew what he wanted.” Cora felt the animosity fizzle away. “When I look at him now, I have never seen a man so smitten with a woman.”

  Smiling, Cora said, “Just as I am with him. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.”

  “I hope we can become real friends instead of this ‘smile for the boys’ business.”

  “I believe we can.”

  Both woman smiled. As Cora began to step forward to embrace her, Carly stepped away. She waggled her finger in front of her. “I like you and all, but I don’t think I really want sugar all over me.”

  Cora snorted, leaving both women laughing as they cleaned the kitchen.

  Elaina dropped her fork onto the plate, the loud rattle making everyone look at her. “Cora, this meal was amazing. Thank you. I don’t think I can eat another bite.”

  “Oh, you’re very welcome. We’re so glad you could come.”

  A small smile lifted Gunther’s lips. “You will surely be having dessert, yeah?”

  “Oh god…,” Elaina said, looking at the buffet of sweets. “How can I resist that?”

  “You can’t!” Gunther said, laughing, patting his stomach. “The way this bird cooks, I’ll need more hours in the gym.”

  Cora covered her mouth in a lame attempt to stifle her giggle. “Oh, you love it,” she managed, tossing her napkin at him.

  Smiling, Gunther leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “I can’t lie. I do.”

  Taking a quick glance at Carly, Elaina could see how uncomfortable she was. It seemed like a good moment to break away from everyone. “Um… Gunther?” He turned, eyebrows raised. “Can I see you upstairs for a moment?”

  “Sure… Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. I just have something…” Elaina trailed off as she stood. She walked around the table and reached into her bag, pulling out a gift wrapped just like Anne’s.

  Gunther rose and they headed up the stairs. “My room okay?”

  “Wherever. I just wanted to do this in private.”

  He opened the door to his room and waved her in. “Would you like to sit?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  After he closed the door, she held out the package.

  “What is it?”

  “A gift… It’s something you need.” She pushed it toward him as he hesitated. “Please.”

  Licking his lips, he took it from her hands. As his fingers trembled, he found it difficult to pluck off the bow and ribbon, then peel the paper away. A shiver washed over his body, the paper silently falling to the floor. He slammed his eyes shut for a moment, knowing it must have something to do with Henry. Otherwise, Elaina wouldn’t have asked for privacy.

  Opening his eyes, he flipped the frame over. He brought one fist to his mouth, biting down on the knuckle of his index finger. His gaze darting back and forth, tears welled. Glancing up at Elaina,
he parted his lips, wanting to say so many things, every word sticking in his throat.

  Seeing the tears tracking down Gunther’s cheeks, Elaina reached out and pulled him into a tight embrace.

  In this moment of weakness, he allowed himself to cry on the offered shoulder. “I needed this, Elaina… I needed this.”

  “I know you did. I’m so glad I could give it to you.” She stood back and held his scarred face in her hands. “You meant the world to him, and I’m so proud of you. You did so much for Henry. You are a wonderful man, and we are lucky to have you in our lives.”

  As he nodded, more tears ran from his eyes. “I tried to make it up to him.”

  “I know, and I thank you for everything you did and have done for us. I love you, Gunther.”

  “I love you, too.” He glanced down at the frame again. “This drawing of Edge’s logo…”

  “It was the rendering he made, then scanned for the designer. I thought you would like to have it.”

  “I’m going to hang this up in my office at the gym. That way, I will have a daily reminder of his forgiveness.” He set the frame on the bed.

  “I think it’s a wonderful idea. When you see it, it’ll help you release that guilt you feel.”

  He tucked his hands into the pockets of his trousers, rocking back and forth on his heels. She stared at him expectantly. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Of course.”

  “I picked up a gift for Cora. I want to make sure it’s something good, like I didn’t pick out something silly. I’m not good at this gift thing yet. We’ve never exchanged before, but I feel much closer to her now. I felt she deserved something nice.”

  Elaina smiled. “You’re rambling.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” He wiped at his sweaty brow. “I’m nervous.”

  “Well, don’t leave me hanging!”

  He let out a nervous chuckle and reached into his nightstand, pulling out a red box with gold accents. Still uncertain, he stared at it for a moment, tenderly running his fingers over the design. He faced Elaina and held it out to her.