She took the box and opened it, her eyes immediately widening at the sight. “Oh wow…”
“It’s stupid, isn’t it?” He tried to grab it from her.
She slapped his hand away. “Why would you think this is stupid? It’s gorgeous.” Elaina lifted the necklace from the box, the diamond-studded, shield-shaped pendant glimmering in the dim light. She rubbed her thumb over the dark stone set in the middle.
“The jeweler said it’s a shield to cover her heart. To keep it safe. Like I want to keep her safe, even when I’m not with her.”
“Gunther, this is extraordinary. You’ve done well.” Elaina put the necklace back in the box, closing the lid. “She’ll cry, but it will be a good cry.”
“Yeah? Okay… Good.” He reached out and grabbed the box, putting it back into the nightstand, sliding the drawer shut. “I have a few things I need to say to her, as well, so I’m going to wait until everyone leaves and the kids are in bed.”
“Good plan,” Elaina said, still smiling. She felt proud of him and the man he had become. “What do you say? Let’s check out that dessert table.” She took his hand and they walked out the door to head back down to their family.
Chapter 27
When night fell and the guests had left, Gunther tucked all the kids into their beds, while Cora placed their gifts under the tree. Before heading back downstairs, he grabbed her gift from the nightstand drawer. He gazed at the box, still wondering if he made the right choice.
As he headed to the living room, he paused and leaned against the doorframe. He stood silently, watching Cora in her simple beauty, fiddling with the top button of her pale yellow cardigan as she stared out the window. His heart thundered, knowing this moment could make or break them.
He turned the box over in his hands a few times before walking into the room. She shifted her weight to one hip, wrapping one arm around her torso, almost hugging herself.
Unnoticed, he approached, placing one hand on her shoulder. She turned slightly and glanced up at him. “It looks so pretty outside.”
He nodded with a small smile, watching the large snowflakes carelessly drifting to the ground. Gently, he turned her to face him. He stifled the sigh inching its way up his throat when he realized how perfect this moment was.
“I have a gift for you.”
“Oh no…” She waved her hands in between them. “I didn’t get you anything. I figured we didn’t exchange last year…”
He smiled. “You give me so much every day. From the way you nurture our kids to the way you have helped me grow to be so much more than I could have ever imagined. You’ve graced me with your presence, and I’m able to stare into your beautiful eyes whenever I want. I want you to know I will never take what we have for granted, and no matter how things turn out for us, you will always have a special place in my heart. I want to treasure you forever, protect you always, and love you even through my afterlife.”
Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. “Oh, Gun…”
He cleared his throat. “So, please, accept this gift.” He held the box up to her.
She recognized the styling, knowing whatever was inside was overwhelmingly expensive. “I-I can’t—”
“Yes, you can.” He pushed the box into her hand and squeezed her fingers around it. “You deserve so much more than what’s in this box just for putting up with me.”
She gazed down at it, then opened the lid. When she gasped, Gunther closed his eyes, hoping it was a good sound. “Gunther…,” she said in a whisper. “This is… I have no words.”
“Do you like it?” Cora looked up at him, stunned he would even think she wouldn’t. “I know you like simple, small, classy, but this… You can pass it on to our girls.”
He picked up the necklace. With a gentle touch, he wrapped the delicate chain around her slender neck, fastening it at the shield. It hung perfectly, right in the center of her chest.
He picked up the pendant and rubbed it between his fingers. “It’s a shield to protect your heart, even when I’m not around to keep you safe.”
Cora stared up at him. Balancing on her tiptoes, she brushed a soft kiss across his lips. “I’m speechless. Your words and this gift… I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her again.
The kiss quickly grew into something more—lips brushing, tongues sweeping, shivers running up and down his spine. He needed to step back before he listened to the second heartbeat in his pants.
“I’m sorry. I just… I’m getting carried away.”
Cora smiled. “Oh, shut up and take me upstairs.”
He gazed at her in shock, eyes wide, brows lifted. “I didn’t buy this to try to get in your pants.”
“Nor have you pressured me. And if you look…” She reached down and touched the material around her thighs. “I have on a skirt, so there’s no way you can get into my pants.”
He chuckled quietly, then scooped her up, taking her up the stairs and into her bedroom.
Once through the door, he closed it with his foot and set her on the bed. He stared down at her. He wanted her desperately. The arousal was not something he could willingly ignore, but he wanted to do right by her.
“Cora… I want this. I really do.”
She slithered off the bed and knelt before him. “Then do what you need to do. I want everything you want.”
He scrubbed his face with both hands and tipped his head back, facing the ceiling, unsure of what to do. Dropping his hands, he gazed back down at her.
“I’m struggling. I want to be in this relationship with you. I’ve fallen in love with you, but I feel like I owe you so much respect. I messed with your head terribly at the start, and I don’t want that to happen again.”
“We are in a new place.” She pushed her hands up his heavy thighs, enjoying the feel of the smooth gray fabric under her palms. “We know this is it. This is us, and this is forever.”
“Forever,” he repeated, watching her hands move closer and closer to his—
Cora grabbed him, stroking through his pants.
Unable to contain it, a moan pushed from his chest and out his lips as he tipped his head back once more. Then he grabbed her hands. “No.”
She withdrew and stared at him, brows furrowed. “Okay…” She felt the heat rise in her face. “I’m sorry if I was too forward.”
“No, you’re perfect. I just…” As he reached out and ran his fingertips over her face, the wedding band he always wore picked up the dim light in the room. “Shit.”
“What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
He stood quietly, staring at the ring—a constant reminder of Quinn. She taught him about being a man who can accept and give love.
“Gun?” Cora asked, standing. She reached up and swiped away the tears running into his beard. He startled, then wiped the back of his hand across his cheeks, gazing at it, not realizing he was crying. “What’s wrong? Let me help you with your pain.” She pressed her hand against his chest, feeling his heart pounding.
Gaze still locked on the ring, Gunther said, “I’ve had this on since…” His voice hitched. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “I’ve had this ring on since Quinn’s funeral. Some days, it feels like just yesterday that they died.”
“It’s okay… I’m fine with it.” She rubbed his arms, squeezing, forcing him to look at her. “If keeping it on is what you need to prevent your heart from hurting, I’m completely okay with you continuing to wear it. Sometimes, I pick up Peter’s book and our picture, holding it close, hoping for a sign he is good with all the choices I’ve made for the children and myself.”
“I owe Quinn everything for changing me and my course in life. If I take it off, what will happen? Will I go back to the person I once was? I don’t want to be that man again. Fucking, drinking, feeding off innocent women who were oblivious to my debauchery, thinking they had more than a marginal chance of being just a fuck.” Saying it out loud startled him. He turned and sat on t
he bed. “Quinn and I had an argument. It was plain stupidity from me. I jumped down her throat when she told me I was behaving like an idiot. Hearing her say that hurt. I was beaten many times, had terrible words said to me, but I blew up at her because she wanted me to think about making amends with Henry instead of beating the bloody piss out of him and then ending him.” He shook his head.
“And, because of her push, you came to the conclusion of making amends.”
He nodded. “At times, I have difficulties understanding where I was and where I am, but I feel like the past will always keep bubbling to the surface. Taunting me, whispering in my ear, following me, clinging like a shroud to obscure all the growing I’ve done. Always my shadow.”
Cora faced him, a lump rising in her throat. This perfect specimen of a man was downright terrified of his own past. “You stood at a fork in the road, anxious, staring down each way, not knowing which one would take you to a place to heal the wounds deep within your heart.” Slowly, she approached, sitting next to him. “You will no longer have to choose. You’ve found the path. You’re on the right road, Gunther.” He nodded, twisting the ring on his finger. “Don’t feel like if you love me, you can no longer love her. She gave you to me. This thing you and I have… The universe interfered with our lives, pushing us into each other’s arms so we could heal. While it was…is horrible how it happened, we have a strong bond built on love, trust, honor, and acceptance.”
Gunther sucked in a deep breath and let out a long exhale. This moment had been a long time coming for him.
“I think it’s time to remove my ring.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I feel like it’s time. Things are going well for us, and I can’t imagine not being here with you and the kids.”
Cora smiled, thrilled. She had been waiting for this moment, but she wasn’t going to pressure him. “Then it’s time.”
“Are you okay with me holding onto it, though?” He lifted his left hand and gazed at the ring. “This sounds bad, but I don’t think I will ever be able to completely let it go.”
“I will support you with however you want to do this. If you want to keep the ring on, keep it on. If you want to remove it, that’s okay, too. The decision is up to you.”
“Okay. Thank you. This is good. I feel good about this.”
He stood from the bed and walked out of her room and into his, heading straight to the dresser. Pulling open the top drawer, he sighed.
Cora joined him, pressing her hand to the small of his back. He rummaged through his undergarments before asking, “What should I put it in? I don’t want to lose it.”
“Give me a second. I will get something for you.”
She dashed out of the room and down the stairs, then grabbed the box her necklace came in. Reaching up, she touched the pendant Gunther had just given her. Her heart filled with joy knowing he was finally ready.
She ran back up the stairs and into his room. “Here,” she said, holding out the box. “This is perfect.”
He stared at it, knees feeling weak. Gunther braced himself against the dresser. “This is harder than I thought.” His whisper was so coarse, he swallowed a few times, hoping to sweep away the glass shards in his throat.
Cora placed her hand on his chest again, rubbing over his heart. “She will always be here with you and Grey. You don’t need a ring to remind you of that.” He bit down on his bottom lip and nodded. “You’ve got this.” She opened the box and held it out to him.
As he slammed his eyelids shut, Gunther’s heart thundered, the heavy beat deafening him. It was all he could do to suppress the emotions.
“Gunther, this can wait if it’s hurting too much. I don’t want you to do something you may regret later.”
Letting go of the dresser, he hung his head and stepped closer to Cora, pressing his forehead to hers. He knew the connection with her would give him the strength and courage to take the next step.
While still touching, he slipped his hands between them and pulled off the ring. Taking a step back, he gazed into her eyes. The raw sadness she saw brought tears to her own. She rolled her lips into her mouth and nodded, giving him the final approval he needed to make what she thought was a courageous move.
Gunther placed the ring inside the box and snapped it shut. He clenched it in his fist and snaked his arms around Cora, holding her tight.
“Thank you,” he whispered next to her ear.
“You’re welcome.” She rubbed his back. “I’m so proud of you.”
“It’s really hard, but it’s right.” He pulled back, put the box in the dresser drawer, and shut it with a resounding thud, keeping his hand on the handle.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He dropped his hand and turned back to Cora. “I will be.”
“Good,” she said as he stepped closer.
He took her face in his hands and brought his lips to hers. The kiss was soft, then deepened, raising goosebumps all over her body. Trailing kisses down her neck, he groaned as she shifted her hips, brushing against his growing erection.
Cora stepped away, leaving him hanging mid-kiss.
He furrowed his brows. “What?”
“We can’t go at the pace you want if this keeps up.” She took another step back, as if she didn’t trust herself to be close to Gunther. “Because I am dying to feel you, but that isn’t how you’ve wanted things to go.”
“You’re right, as always.”
He couldn’t stop staring at her body, though. The curve of her hips showed perfectly in her skirt. He remembered how she felt around his cock and, hell, it had been ages since he had a woman. His palm wasn’t cutting it anymore.
His gaze wandered north, staring at the necklace lying between the swell of her breasts.
“You need to leave, Cora. If you don’t, I’m going to fuck you good and hard.”
“You have learned a lot of self-control. How about we cuddle?”
“Naked? Because I’m all about being naked.”
Cora burst into laughter as she stripped out of her clothing, dropping them to the floor, keeping her skimpy bra and panties on.
“Oh, fuck me… Are you serious?”
“What?” she asked with a coy smile, turning away from him, crooking her finger over her shoulder.
“Cora, you are a bloody demon. You should just ditch your undergarments, as well. They already display everything. And, if I do say so, it’s a fucking brill display.”
“Well, I’m trying not to encourage the incorrigible.”
Gunther’s jaw slacked and brows lifted. “Oh really? We just talked about me making changes and now you are doing this?” He gestured toward her.
A small smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “That doesn’t mean I can’t tease or flirt with the man I love.” She ran her hands over her breasts, down to her pelvis, throwing her head back, releasing a soft moan.
“You are such a sassy bird.”
She swayed her hips, slow and deliberate. A dark but enticing glimmer flashed through his eyes.
“You’re going to get a spanking if you keep it up.”
“Maybe that’s what I want…” Trailing off, she bit down on her bottom lip.
Gunther unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it to the floor on top of Cora’s clothes. Unfastening his trousers, he pushed them past his hips, exposing the lines of his erection under his boxers.
“Mmm-hmm… Yup,” she said, looking him up and down. “That is all mine. All for me.”
“Hmm…” He kicked them off and walked up to Cora. He grabbed her under her arms and tossed her onto the bed. She squealed and giggled. “Heed my warning, bird. I’m going to cuddle you so fucking hard.”
Gunther slipped into bed and spooned her, holding Cora so tight, she couldn’t move.
“Um, Gun?”
He moved his hips against her ass. “Hmm?” he moaned before running the tip of his tongue up her neck.
“While I love this ‘cuddle so fucking hard’ t
hing, I’d like to be able to breathe.”
“Fine…” Begrudgingly, he loosened his grip.
Cora let out a soft sigh, feeling comforted in his arms. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, love.” He pressed a small kiss behind her ear before they drifted off.
Chapter 28
-East End of London-
I stirred from another nightmare. My lad was opening packages from Santa, but it was boxes full of body parts, blood, bones. I shuddered as I sat up.
“You good?” Joseph asked.
“Yeah.” I rubbed my eyes. “What in the…” I looked around my chamber, seeing holiday decorations everywhere, as if a big box store puked Christmas all over my room.
“Happy Christmas,” Joseph said with a smile.
“Did you do all of this?”
“I had help. Michelle did the shopping yesterday. I set it up so you could wake to it.”
The seal of my chamber broke, grabbing our attention.
Michelle walked in, balancing a large box in her arms. Erik and PJ followed, both holding small trays of food. Then Dr. Barter and Tess, who frowned at the twat in front of her, came in with a big carafe of coffee and mugs.
“Oh wow! Great job, Joseph,” Michelle said in her usual cheerful tone, looking around the room.
He bowed slightly. “Thank you. Thank you.”
She walked up to me and kissed my cheek. “Happy Christmas.”
“Same to you.”
As Erik approached, I peeked up over the tray he held. “Oh, fuck yeah!” Without skipping a beat, I grabbed a stack of cookies, popping one into my mouth.
“Happy Christmas,” he said with a little chuckle, then walked away.
“You, too,” I replied through a mouthful of frosted, sugary goodness.
“Anything on this tray interest you?” PJ asked as he walked up, lowering it below eye level.
“Hmm…” I grabbed a cinnamon roll. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.” PJ followed Erik, both setting the trays on the table at the end of the bed.
Dr. Barter set the coffee on the nightstand. “I don’t celebrate the holidays, but Ms. Fogerty thinks I should at least stay for a cup of coffee.”
Full Circle (Shattered Lives, Book Five) Page 22