“Then, by all means…” I waved at the carafe.
“Happy Christmas and all that merry bull…” Tess sucked in a deep breath, then flashed a nervous smile.
I had to admit, she scared me just a tad. I knew I had to release her from the pain. “Same to you,” I whispered.
“Thank fuck.” She walked off and stood in the corner, scowling.
I laughed. “Thank you all. This is very uplifting.”
“For you.” Michelle set the box on my lap, the weight surprising me.
“What’s in here? Bricks? You didn’t have to buy me anything. All this…” I gestured to the room, “is enough.”
“I know, but it’s just a few things I thought you would enjoy.”
“Thank you. It means a lot to me.” I lifted the lid, eying the contents. “Oh wow…” I pulled out an electric blanket.
“To keep you warm after your treatments,” she said, smiling.
“And the books… These are amazing, ’Chelle. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I glanced around the room at everyone. Tess seemed awkward, the doctor miserable, but they all returned a joyful smile. “Thank you all. I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with, but this means a lot to me.”
I watched everyone settle in, sharing stories of past holidays, sipping coffee, eating the sweets. I found them entertaining, but it reminded me of my last Christmas with my son. Until Nicky came along, I didn’t really participate in holidays or birthdays. They seemed like more of a hassle as I fought memories of my past, instead of feeling as if I had things to celebrate.
The moment Nicky saw the presents, his eyes brightened. The ribbons and bows sparkled under the tree lights, grabbing his attention. We all sat on the floor together, showing him how to open the gifts. The laughter, the smiles, the excited squeals he made when he opened all his puzzles and books. Regardless of my issues, it was a remarkable moment for me. Seeing him so excited made me feel the same.
As I gazed at everyone chatting in my death chamber, I wondered if he’d have a nice holiday with Mum and Elaina. Would I ever spend another holiday with my son? It brought a tear to my eye, but I quickly swiped it away to fake my way through this celebration everybody had worked so hard to put together.
Chapter 29
-Gamebridge, New York-
Taking a sip of coffee, Elaina closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the treat of vanilla sweet cream. It reminded her of going to Gemelli’s with Henry. She opened her eyes and stared down at the massive slice of chocolate cake, frosting facing her.
“Cake for breakfast is normal, right?” she asked Anne, who sat across from her.
“Of course. It hits all the major foods. Eggs, dairy… Chocolate is full of antioxidants. Good for the baby.”
Elaina laughed. “That’s true. Henry always loved cake.”
“Mumma!” Nicky yelled, running to her.
“What, sweet boy?” He climbed into her lap, carrying his new stuffed dog under one arm. Elaina touched his nose. “Do you like the new dog Santa brought?”
He nodded, then reached for the cake. “Mmm…,” he said, making both Anne and Elaina laugh.
“Definitely his father’s son,” Anne said before standing. She picked up the novel on the table. “I think I’ll go enjoy my new book and relax.”
“Sounds perfect. I’ll start dinner in a little while.”
Anne smiled, then headed upstairs.
As soon as she was out of Elaina’s sight, Anne sagged in her skin, expelling all her energy to get up the stairs and to the bedroom.
She closed the door and leaned against it, tipping her head toward the ceiling. “I miss you,” she whispered. She looked down and gazed at the framed picture and suicide letter on her dresser.
Henry’s words meant so much to Anne. While he didn’t extend any blame beyond himself or Roger, she remembered the moment they first locked gazes on the ship. It had become a frequent image haunting her mind. The vicious tone in his voice, the words spewing from him like venom.
“Luke—”
“Luke died years ago when you fucking sold him to that!” He pointed at Roger’s body, blood pooling around him. “You’re no better!”
It had been years since she had stood in front of him. He was her beautiful boy, even in his unkempt state. Fresh blood stained his clothing, weapons adding more bulk to his already large frame. She wanted to run and grab him, but his snarled expression made her do nothing more than hold her arms out, hoping he would accept the offered embrace.
In that moment, all Henry needed was the love of a mother, and she felt she had failed him.
She often wondered if he carried some hatred for her, never saying it out loud due to the guilt she had already placed on herself.
Anne reached for the frame and read his letter to her once more. He said he was a burden and didn’t place any blame on her. How could she move forward and do as he said, find a decent man, when she had obviously done so poorly the first time?
She wondered what it would be like to have a man love her the way Roger didn’t. “I’m not sure if I could tell the difference,” she whispered, feeling silly thinking a man could ever love her.
She looked up and saw herself in the mirror. Setting the frame down, she leaned in close, looking straight into her own eyes. They seemed…empty, distant. She sighed and leaned back. Pulling her hair away from her face, she turned her head right, then left, staring at her profile.
Anne felt and looked old. The general aches and pains, streaks of gray hair, wrinkles around her eyes and mouth spoke volumes. She dropped her hair and stared at herself, thinking about changing her look. She gazed down and tugged at the cheap cable knit sweater and khaki pants from the thrift store.
Henry had signed her on as an approved user of one of his credit cards so she could buy herself the things she never had before. Still, she always kept the transactions low. The only thing she spent a lot of money on was the bottle of extravagant perfume sitting on the tray, along with her brush.
Feeling a change coming, she headed out of her room and down the stairs. “Elaina?”
“I’m in the kitchen!”
Anne rounded the corner and stood in the doorway between the kitchen and dining room. “I want a makeover.”
Elaina set the carafe of coffee on the counter. “Really?” she asked, surprised.
“I mean… Do you think I would, you know…” Anne gazed down at the floor.
Smiling, Elaina approached and rested her hands on Anne’s shoulders. “I think it’s a great idea. We’ll get your hair cut, dyed, and styled, a nice facial, then get you some makeup and a new wardrobe. Sound good?”
Anne nodded, still fidgeting with concern. “I don’t want to spend a lot of money, though.”
“After all you’ve been through, you deserve it.” Taking her hands, Elaina gently squeezed. “Henry would be so happy you’re deciding to do this for yourself.”
“I have a confession.”
“What’s that?”
Anne shook her head. “I feel so silly.”
Elaina smiled. “Just say it.”
“I would like to go on a proper date with someone.”
Elaina’s smile widened as she raised her arms up. “Yes!”
“Don’t get too excited.”
“Why? This is wonderful.”
“I don’t know if I would be able to pick a good man. I mean… Look what happened the last time I chose someone.” She cast her gaze away from Elaina’s, feeling humiliation creep into her mind.
“I will help. I’ll be like your parent!” She playfully narrowed her eyes, resting her hands on her hips, shifting her weight to one side. “Eying him obscurely, making passive-aggressive threats, sitting and having a chat with him to make sure he’s a good person.”
Anne laughed. “Did your father ever do that with Henry?”
“It wasn’t too bad. My father was happy if I was happy. On the other hand, my mother
was skeptical. And my brother, Nick… Oh god.” Elaina laughed. “He actually took Henry outside to have a man-to-man conversation. Nick tried to get physical with him, but he quickly learned how…skilled Henry was.”
“Oh, that boy of mine,” Anne said, shaking her head.
“I have a feeling if you tried doing this while he was alive, no man would ever be good enough for his mother.”
“I think he would be frightened for me…for us.”
“I agree. All men would be too afraid to ask you out on a date. Is there someone you’re interested in?”
“Well, now that I’m able to do a little babysitting at the gym again…” Her cheeks flushed.
“Spill it, woman.”
“There’s this one gentleman who smiles at me.”
“Yeah?”
“His name is Jeb Castlebery.”
“If you want, I can ask Gunther about him.”
“No!” she shouted, startling Elaina. “I’m sorry. I mean…”
“How about this? We get you to how you want to look, then see how he reacts when you go back.”
Anne nodded. “I like your enthusiasm. I’m so proud of you.”
Furrowing her brow, Elaina asked, “Why? I’ve been nothing but trouble.” She rested her hand on her belly, worrying for her and Henry’s unborn child. “I hope this baby is healthy like Nicky was at birth. I neglected myself for so long, I may have done some damage.”
“I’m sure everything will be fine. You’ve come a long way in such a short period of time.”
“I’m trying really hard. I miss him and wish he were here, but…” Elaina shrugged, tears pooling in her eyes.
“Hush now.” Anne embraced Elaina just as Nicky came in and wrapped his arms around her leg.
“Hug,” he said.
Both women laughed.
Elaina wiped her eyes, then picked him up and gave him a kiss. “Lots of hugs and kisses.”
Gunther groaned as he ran his hand over the sheet, the spot next to him warm. Cora had just kissed him on the cheek and got out of bed.
“Hey…,” he said, watching her as she stuffed her arms into his robe.
She smiled, bright and beautiful. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas to you.”
“Why didn’t we really celebrate between us last year?”
“Because I’m a knob.”
Cora laughed as she approached the bed. “I can’t believe the kids are still sleeping. I’m surprised Everette hasn’t screamed the house down yet.”
“They all went to bed really late, worn out from so much activity.”
“True.” She sighed as she sat.
He tugged on the sleeve of the robe. “Come here…” As she leaned toward him, he grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her down to his face. He feathered a kiss on her lips, making her smile.
“I like this.” Cora stood from the bed.
“Me, too.” He firmed his grip on her sleeve. “May God damn me for all the dirty, filthy, naughty thoughts tracking through my mind at this very moment.”
She laughed. “I need to make coffee and cook breakfast because I know some beast who is always hungry.”
Gunther reached down under the covers. “Yup. Hard as titanium and very, very hungry.”
“You are so bad.” She headed into the hall.
Gunther leapt from the bed and dove past her as she opened her bedroom door. She slipped in behind him as he raised his arm, slamming the door shut.
“How do you like me now?” he growled.
Placing her hands on her hips, she tilted her head to the side, considering his muscled frame. Her gaze tracked over every cord, ripple, edge… She licked her lips, focusing on his erection straining against the waistband of his boxers.
Cora dropped his robe and stalked up to him.
“Oh, fuck me,” he whispered.
She reached around and unhooked her bra, tossing it over her shoulder.
Gunther locked the door, just in case. News that Santa had dropped off some packages wasn’t going to interrupt this moment.
She slid her panties down, pushing them past her thighs. When they fell to the floor, Gunther slapped a hand over his face.
“Did you hear that?” she asked, a hand up to her ear.
He gazed at her for a moment, his lips twitching. “No.”
“The shower is calling me…” She turned and headed toward her bathroom.
“The fuck it is!” He pushed past her and stood in front of the door, pressing his ear to it. “What was that?” He smirked, then nodded. “The shower is calling us.”
Cora laughed. “If you can handle it, big boy.” She glanced down at his erection, then back to his heated gaze. She shoved herself between him and the door. As she turned the knob, his arm snaked around her waist. She screamed as he threw her over his shoulder and stormed into the bathroom.
“Put me down, you beast!”
“No way. You’re a naughty bird, teasing me several times in just a twelve-hour span. At the very least, you’re going to give me a hand job.”
“Gunther! Put me down!” She slapped his ass. He reciprocated, doing the same, then sunk his fingers into her core. “Oh god…,” she moaned, almost panting. “So much better when you do it.”
When he pulled his fingers out, she moaned in protest. “I don’t believe I’ve ever tasted you.” He ran his tongue up one finger. “Mmm… The sweetest fruit.” He set her back on her feet gently. “I’m going to take care of my bird.”
“Yeah?” Her face flushed. “I’d like that.”
“Hold tight, love.” He reached behind the curtain and turned on the shower. Holding his hand under the spray, he waited for it to hit a tolerable temperature. He pulled the curtain back and held out his hand. “Come on.” He took her hand as she stepped over the tub, then slipped off his boxers before following her. Spinning her around, he said, “Tilt your head back, wet your hair.”
Cora followed his subtle command. He squeezed shampoo into his palm and gently scrubbed her head, running down to the tips of her hair.
She placed her palms against his chest. “Remember the first time you did this?”
“I do. While you were hunched over that sink, I stared at your arse, thinking of all the inappropriate things I wanted to do to you.”
“There has been a lot of sexual tension between us for quite a while.”
“You’re right…as always.”
She smiled, feeling the suds cascading down her body as he rinsed her hair. “I like this.”
“Me, too. Feels good.”
“I’ve been waiting for you.”
“I know. I’m sorry it took so long.” He rinsed his hands, then squeezed a little conditioner in his palm. “I needed to do this in my own time. Thank you for having the patience of a saint with me.”
Again, she smiled, enjoying the warmth building in her body. “I knew you would come around once I grew up enough to understand your agony. I’m sorry I was a bitch to you when I was pregnant with Everette.”
“Water under the bridge, love. I wasn’t exactly the easiest person to deal with. I was a twat who took advantage of you.” He ran his hands through her hair several times, ensuring he thoroughly rinsed out the product. He picked up the bottle of body wash. “Probably should’ve grabbed a cloth and a couple towels.”
She laughed. “We’ll figure it out.”
“Oh, it’s well past figured out, love.” He squeezed the spicy, yet fruity wash into his hands. He rubbed them together and began at her neck, massaging all the way down to her toes. When he stood, their gazes met. After a long moment of staring, Gunther said, “You should rinse off.”
She nodded and turned into the water, washing all the soap from her skin. She stepped around him, gently nudging him into the spray. As he tilted his head back, she quietly kneeled, taking him into her mouth.
“Oh fuuuck…” He jerked forward, pressing his palm to the shower wall. She stared up at him, her tongue working o
ver every vein. “Jesus Christ…”
She took him in her hands, stroking, pressing her lips to his tip. “What’s your favorite thing?”
“Blow job… Mmm-hmm… Yup, just like that…” He trailed off as she drew him in, going all the way down her throat. “Fucking hell…” He slapped his hands over his face. “Oh god, Cora…”
Releasing him, she said, “I love hearing my name spill from your lips.”
He looked down. “That’s not the only thing that will spill if you keep this up.”
She smiled. “I know.” Once again, she drew him in.
“Cora… Fuck. You’re so good at that.” He placed his palm on the back of her head, enjoying the feel of her tongue working the sensitive spot under his tip. “I want to fuck your mouth.”
“Maybe later.” She smiled and drew him in again.
“You’re killing me, bird.”
She withdrew. “I know.” She dove back in, bringing him right to the edge.
“Fuck… I’m going to… Fuck!” He pushed her off and stroked himself. A shudder passed through his body as he squeezed out the last drop.
He rested his head against his arm on the shower wall, panting. Closing his eyes, he let out a satisfied sigh.
When she stood, she grabbed the body wash. “I hope you don’t mind smelling like me for the rest of the day.”
He chuckled, opened his eyes, and brushed his lips across hers. “Absolutely not.”
“My scent marking you,” she said matter-of-factly.
“No… You have it all wrong.” He ran a finger over the droplets he left on her chest, pressing it to her lips. “I’ve marked you.”
“Touché.” She ran her tongue over his finger.
“You are amazing. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been pulling one out in the shower thinking about you?”
“No. Tell me,” she said as she washed his body, massaging his corded muscles.
He spun her around and pressed her chest against the shower wall. “So long…” Spreading her thighs with his leg, he placed his tip at her entrance. “So very fucking long…,” he whispered, pushing in.
Cora let out a moan. “Oh god…”
“So warm,” he said, pressing his body against hers, pumping his hips at a brutal rhythm.
Full Circle (Shattered Lives, Book Five) Page 23