Full Circle (Shattered Lives, Book Five)

by Rissa Blakeley

  “Okay…” Shaking her head, she followed him out.

  They walked down the hall to Roger’s office.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Tess asked as Erik opened the door and walked in.

  “I need something.” He walked to the cabinet that held every kind of gun or knife imaginable.

  “Taking up target practice? Never thought you were the gun type… A cunning scientist who could make a virus to decimate the population, but never the gun type.”

  “Nope.” He reached into the cabinet, pulling out a handgun.

  “Do you even know how to use that?”

  “Nope. Luckily, we have a trained marksman here.”

  He grabbed a box of ammunition, unsure if they were the kind he needed. He shrugged and put both in the pockets of his lab coat. Once again, Tess shook her head and followed him as he left the office.

  Michelle moved around the chamber with grace, cleaning and doing whatever she could to keep her mind off what was about to happen.

  “Hey, ’Chelle?”

  “Hmm?” She gazed at me over her shoulder.

  “If something happens—”

  She held up her hand. “Don’t.”

  “But—”

  “I said don’t. Shut your bloody trap.”

  I looked away. “I could die.”

  She walked over to me. “You are not going to die, Luke. I’ve saved you once already. You aren’t going to die on my watch. In a couple days, you will be off to New York to reunite with your family.”

  The door opened, the whole team, minus Dr. Barter, coming in. “We’re all set. Are you ready?”

  I swallowed hard. “Yeah. Where’s the doc?”

  “He’s waiting in the OR.”

  With bare feet and wearing only scrub pants, I slipped out of bed and we walked out of the chamber. Michelle brought up the rear, resting a hand on the small of my back. We walked into the clinic and all the way to the back, seeing the operating room all lit up.

  In a way, it felt symbolic. The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.

  Through the windows of the swinging doors, I stared at the table and the equipment. My body began to tremble. I wasn’t afraid to admit it. I was scared out of my fucking mind.

  I spun around. “No. It won’t work.”

  Erik tilted his head. “This is the final step. We cured you. It’s just an insurance policy.”

  “I don’t want her to be involved in the procedure.” I nodded toward Michelle.

  “What?” she asked, confused.

  “Do you have any idea what kind of monster I could turn into?”

  “Yes.” She pointed at the door of the OR. “I’m going to be in there with you whether you like it or not.”

  “I could kill you…all of you. Kill you! Don’t you understand that? I can’t.” I shook my head, waving my hands through the air. “No. I’m not doing this.”

  Erik smiled. “It’s all under control.”

  “How?”

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handgun. “If you do, one shot to the head will do it, yeah?”

  I swallowed hard, freaking out a bit, knowing I stared into the barrel of the gun that would point at me until we knew for sure. “Normally, yes…”

  “Are these the correct bullets?”

  He pulled a box out of his jacket pocket. I reached for the gun and the ammo. “Hollow points. Good choice.” I pulled the magazine out. Unloaded.

  Over the next minute, I loaded the gun and pulled the slide back, readying it for use.

  “Are you consenting to this?” Michelle grabbed my arm, concern playing over her features. “You can’t.”

  “’Chelle, it’s the only way.” I turned and handed the gun to Erik. “Be careful. There’s no safety. If I turn, you have to promise me you will only shoot me. Everyone else gets out alive.”

  “Yes. Absolutely.”

  “I trust you with this. I swear to fuck, I will haunt your ass if you harm anyone else.”

  “I swear to you like you’ve sworn to me.”

  I nodded, knowing he acknowledged my promise to keep his illness quiet.

  “I want the gun pressed to my head. If there is any sign of me turning, you are to shoot me. Am I clear?”

  “Yes,” Erik said, nodding.

  “Then you’re to go to my wife and tell her everything.”

  “Absolutely.”

  I gazed at Michelle, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You are to stay out here.”

  “No. I’m going to be in there with you.”

  I took her hand and looked over my shoulder. “Before we start, I need a minute alone with her.”

  “Whatever you need,” Erik said.

  I tugged on her arm and we walked back into the clinic. Holding both her hands, we stood, staring into each other’s eyes. I fought to keep my emotions at bay, but there was no way I could control it as I looked into her tear-filled eyes.

  “Luke,” she said in a harsh whisper. She tugged her hands free and wrapped her arms around me. “This is not goodbye.”

  I pulled her close, resting my hand on the back of her head. “Thank you, ’Chelle. Thank you for everything.” She stepped back. “You’ve been… Fuck.” As my voice caught, I shut my eyes briefly before continuing. “You have been my saving grace. Without you, who knows where I would be. Thank you for everything, especially your friendship. It means so much to me. If I get out of here, you are always welcome in my home.”

  She nodded, wiping her cheeks. “Thank you.”

  As I stepped away, I took her hands and squeezed. “Please, ’Chelle. Stay outside the room after they put me under. Okay?” Again, she nodded.

  Taking a deep breath, I led her back into the OR.

  I looked at each member of the team. Somehow, all found a way into my heart. Regardless of the outcome, I would forever be grateful.

  I rested my hands on my hips and blew out a loud breath. I gazed at Dr. Barter for a moment, who had on his usual impenetrable doctor face. I shook my head and let out a nervous laugh.

  “I just want to thank you all for everything you’ve done. The hours of research, development, work, and…fucking hell…putting up with my prat ass. If I don’t make it out of this room, know that you have given your best efforts.” I looked at each one of them again. “I’m ready.”

  Erik smiled. “Hop up.”

  “Good luck,” PJ said. He, along with Tess and Joseph, stepped outside the OR.

  I sighed nervously as I sat at the edge of the table. I scrubbed my face with my hands. All I could think about was Nicky.

  Dr. Barter approached. “You don’t need to worry. I have this under control.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered as I lay back.

  As he prepped the machines and equipment, Michelle walked up and took my hand. “I will hold your hand until I have to leave. When you wake up, I’ll be right here.”

  I nodded, my nose burning. I broke down, completely falling into a hole of self-pity. I pulled my hand away from hers to cover my face.

  “I can’t take much more, ’Chelle.”

  “I know, Luke, but it’s almost over. You’ve come so far. This is the last step in the process. I will do whatever I can to keep you going so you can get home to your family.”

  “I’m scared.”

  “It’s going to work out for you,” Michelle said. “You are going to lead a happy and healthy life full of memories.”

  “And regrets.”

  “We all have regrets.”

  I looked at Dr. Barter. “Explain this to me one more time,” I said between staggering breaths.

  “First, we will put you under, then pump your blood out through a catheter placed in your aorta. The blood is stored in the machine and kept warm as we push cold saline through your body to lower your temperature. Doing so will gradually stop your heart and breathing. Essentially, you’ll be true dead. Since we cool down your body temperature, it’s considered suspended animation.


  “The wait time we allotted is thirty minutes before we attempt to bring you back. Then the bypass machine will pump your blood back into your body.

  “The hope is, once your body hits a certain temperature again, your heart will slowly start beating. All normal body and brain function should resume. It could take up to a few days for you to wake.”

  “All right,” I said, taking a deep breath.

  “I assure you, we’ll do whatever it takes.”

  “Let’s do this.”

  He put a mask over my mouth and nose. “Breathe normally.”

  Michelle stood over me, smiling. As I reached for her hand, the light faded…

  Once Dr. Barter inserted the catheter into Luke’s aorta, the team sat back to wait. Other than the machines, it was so quiet, a hair hitting the floor would’ve been deafening.

  The doctor checked and rechecked all the monitors, watching Luke’s heart rate, breathing, and temperature all slow to below normal functioning levels.

  “Thirty degrees Celsius,” Erik whispered. “His heart should stop right about—”

  The heart monitor flatlined.

  Gun in hand, Erik walked around to Luke’s head.

  “Oh god…,” Michelle whispered.

  “You should leave, but I know you won’t, so just stay back,” he warned. “We should tie him down. It would be safer.”

  Michelle took a step back. “No. I promised him at the beginning we wouldn’t do that to him. I’ll take the risk. How low does his temperature need to go?”

  “Ten,” Dr. Barter replied.

  The team watched in stunned silence as the numbers ticked in a direction they normally shouldn’t.

  When it hit ten degrees Celsius, Erik looked at Dr. Barter. “Call it.”

  “Time of death…” He looked up at the clock on the wall, “eleven-seventeen AM. Time starts now.”

  Michelle grabbed a stool and sat by Luke’s side, clutching his hand, moving her thumb back and forth, the coolness making her shiver. A few tears trickled down her cheeks. She leaned close to his ear, whispering words that no one else could hear. Words that meant something to her. Words that confessed her love for him.

  “Twenty remaining,” Dr. Barter said.

  “Michelle, I want you to step away,” Erik warned, gun still trained on Luke’s head.

  “No. I’m staying right here with him.”

  “Michelle—”

  “I said no! Now shut up and watch for signs of him turning!” She shook her head and refocused on Luke, fussing with his hair, running her fingers around his chilled skin.

  The year she spent with him was the most welcome she had ever felt in anyone’s life. If she lost him, she knew she would feel lost herself. If this procedure went wrong, devastation would only be the tip of the iceberg.

  Dr. Barter said, “Fifteen remaining.”

  The clock seemed to go so slow, it felt as if time were going backward. Michelle waited for every ominous tick of the hands. She turned and looked at the rest of the team, her gaze landing on Erik, his trembling hand holding the gun. The others outside the doors looked just as nervous.

  She refocused on the clock. “Come on…,” she whispered.

  “Ten remaining.”

  Michelle began to sweat. “This is nuts. Can’t we just bring him back?”

  “Easy,” Erik replied. “We need to ensure he won’t turn.”

  “Everything showed he is clear!” she yelled.

  “And we have to make sure something isn’t hiding or tucked away somewhere!”

  “Please, Erik.” She turned to face the doctor. “Please…”

  Ignoring her, Dr. Barter said, “Five remaining.”

  “For fuck’s sake!” she yelled.

  “Be ready. As soon as thirty hits, we need to switch the machines over.” Erik stuffed the gun into his coat pocket and raced to the bypass machine.

  Michelle stood and backed off. Preparing for what?

  Death.

  She slapped her hands over her face, whispering a prayer.

  The moment was upon them, but one question remained. Had they wasted an entire year devoted to one man just to lose him now?

  “Now!” Dr. Barter shouted.

  Erik switched the machine over. As soon as the blood entered Luke’s body, his skin began to pink up. They stood in silence, watching his temperature rise.

  “Come on, Luke,” Michelle whispered.

  The minutes ticked by slower than when they waited for him to go into suspended animation.

  Then it happened…

  Blip…

  No one breathed or moved, waiting for another.

  Blip… Blip…

  “Take a breath, Luke,” Erik said.

  A small breath…

  “Come on, Luke!” Michelle yelled.

  A stronger breath…

  Michelle choked on a sob as his breathing continued to normalize.

  As time passed, Dr. Barter monitored the machines. Soon, he declared Luke’s heart rate and temperature normal and stable. Before releasing him into the nurse’s care, he removed the tracking device from his head.

  Pushing him out of the operating room, Erik looked at the expectant faces of Tess, PJ, and Joseph. He smiled. “I’m calling this a success. Luke is cured!”

  They cheered.

  “It is not a success until he wakes up,” Michelle added. “Let’s get him back to his room.”

  Taking short naps when she could, the days dragged on for Michelle. She spent every waking minute watching Luke, taking his vitals. Even when Joseph came in for his shift, she made him leave. She wanted to keep her promise and be there when he woke.

  Chapter 47

  In the distance, I heard a rhythmic beep, then noted a soft tickle against my left hand. My body was warm and felt comfortable, making it difficult to break through the fuzz in my head.

  I finally cracked open my eyes.

  “Hullo, sleepyhead.”

  “’Chelle?” I moaned, my throat aching, feeling dry.

  “I’m right here, as promised.”

  “Am I dead?”

  She laughed softly. “Nope. You’re very much alive.”

  “I made it?” I groaned, trying to push myself up.

  “Just rest,” she said, squeezing my shoulder.

  I reached up and rubbed my eyes. “How long have I been sleeping?”

  “Close to a week.”

  “Wow. So I’m officially healthy?”

  “Yes, you are.”

  “Holy fucking hell,” I mumbled.

  She laughed again. “I want you to be mindful of your head. Dr. Barter removed the tracking device. You have a couple stitches.”

  “’Kay.” I shifted a little. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For saving me.”

  “Anytime.” She stroked my cheek. It felt so good to have someone touch me in a meaningful way. “We should shave you soon. You’re almost at a full beard, although it’s lovely, even with the flecks of gray.”

  We stared at each other for a long moment, then we both looked away.

  Breaking the silence, she cleared her throat. “I should call Erik and let him know you’re awake.”

  “What time is it?”

  “About two AM. I think I should call him, though. He’d like to know.”

  Nodding, I nestled down into the blankets, falling back into a slumber.

  As the sun rose, I felt a bit on edge. After being cooped up in bed for so long, I needed to move around. I opted to take a slow stroll on the treadmill. I didn’t ask if it was okay, but I needed to stretch my legs. Michelle wasn’t around, leaving me to assume she was making breakfast.

  Erik walked into the chamber, smiling when he saw me. “Nice to see you up and about, mate.”

  “Yeah. I’m fatigued, but I think I’m doing okay.”

  “Remember, you’ve been through a lot this past year. It may take a little while to get your strength back. Just go slow and easy so you
don’t do more harm than good.”

  “Got you.” I stopped the machine and walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed. Erik looked worse than before. His cheeks were sunken, having a bruised look. “When are you starting treatment?”

  He smiled. “As soon as you leave.”

  “Can I leave today?”

  Dr. Barter walked in, halting our conversation. “Well, look who’s up and shining like the bloody noonday sun.”

  I flipped him off, making Erik snort, then let out a chuckle.

  “Is that the thanks I get for being an integral part of curing you?”

  “Pretty much. You, my friend, are an asshole. Plain and simple.”

  “I never said I was anything but.”

  I smiled. “Thank you.” I stood and shook his hand.

  “You’re welcome. I would say it has been a pleasure, but I hate to lie.”

  I shook my head. “Truth right there.”

  Erik rested a hand on my shoulder. “As soon as we check you over and remove your stitches, I say you can head out of here. Do you agree, Scott?”

  “I think that would work,” he replied, smiling. “Just take it easy for a while.”

  “Well, I’ll be. Is Dr. Twat smiling?” I asked.

  “Fuck you. Lie down so I can examine you.”

  Chapter 48

  The next morning, getting a clean bill of health and with my pack on my back, I walked out of the facility. Talk about full circle. At one time in my life, I came to this god-awful, torturous prison healthy… A tad batty, but healthy. Finally, I get to walk away being free from all the mental and physical bullshit the virus stirred in me. I still had some emotional healing to do, but I felt good about my situation. Getting home to my family would cure that.

  It had been about a year since I was able to travel farther than just down to the café and shops. It felt bloody good to have the…

  I gazed up. “Fucking England and the fucking rain. I hope it’s sunny in New York.” At least there was fresh air. I sucked in a deep breath. “Ahh, yes. The burn of toxic air in my lungs at the ass crack of dawn.”

  Michelle laughed, making me turn to face her. Those big, watery doe eyes spoke to me. I would miss seeing her every day.

  “I’m going to miss you, Luke.”

  “This isn’t goodbye forever. As I said, you’re more than welcome to visit. I hope to be able to convince my wife to come here, as well.”