Not Giving Up on Forever

by Yana Stevelork

  "If I had found him, I would have killed him, Anna."

  "Teo, please don't say that!" her voice shook again.

  He stood up on the bed and showed her to a chair. He struggled to maintain a calm expression.

  "Teo..."

  "Anna." he looked at her coldly. "I don't give a damn what you had with Randall. But I really care that you don't respect me."

  "Teo, what stupidity! I do respect you."

  "You want to hurt him through me."

  "I..."

  "Now, listen to what I'm about to say. He doesn't need you, Anna. He talked to Ricardo on the phone in such a way that he was ashamed of you. He screamed for you to be returned, that you would never sleep with me. As if you are some item. Ricardo got into a fight with his girlfriend after because the whole evening he was evil and could not tune in to the romance."

  "Look, Teo, I wanted to say that..."

  "But I like you, Anna."

  She paused for a moment, then continued timidly.

  "I'm sorry about everything, really. And I had no intention of making you feel anything towards me, Teo."

  "You had." he corrected quietly.

  "I don't think I have the strength for a new holiday fling."

  "Fling?" Teo raised an eyebrow. "There is no holiday fling, Anna."

  "I guess I like you, too. But I don't think my heart can. I'm... I'm very confused about everything, Teo. I'm not ready for any relationship. I'm not thinking straight. I..."

  "Anna." he moved her chair closer to him and took her hand. "There is really a mess in your head. Such a mess that it is visible even to passers-by on the street. Your behavior is completely devoid of logic but I see all the motives and reasons behind your every move. I'll tell you one thing. I'm not him. Not them. I'm Teo. And I like you, Anna, no matter what you do. Look at me. Do you hear what I'm saying? Listen carefully. I like you no matter what. That won't pass. That won't change. It'll only get stronger. You CANNOT influence it. But you can accept it and give me the green light. And then, Anna, you will be mine. And you will always be mine. I don't share. I'm not giving up. And if you still don't understand - and I can see in your eyes that you don't- you WILL be mine eventually. And not against your will, Anna, but because you WILL understand that you are worthy of a normal relationship, worthy to be near someone who respects and loves you. “And this is me.”

  With that, he kissed Anna lightly and stood up, having decided to give her some space.

  Chapter 51

  Anna left the room only a few hours later. Ricardo sat in the hall and watched TV, throwing darts at the target to distract himself.

  "Ri?"

  He looked towards the girl. His features were not as severe as before, but the discontent was still on.

  "Ri." Anna tried again. "Listen, Ri. I'm so sorry that I ruined your date and I would have fixed it if I knew how."

  "It's okay, Anna." Ricardo said calmly. "Really, don't worry about it."

  "I'd like to talk to Leticia and apologize."

  "Anna. Come on, I'm saying it's okay."

  "I really wanted her to come. Now, this incident won't give me a chance to meet her?"

  "Anna, really..."

  The phone rang, and on Ricardo's face Anna read that it was Leticia calling. A little confused, he replied. A female voice was heard, and Ricardo with a solemn face listened to her.

  Anna found nothing more clever than to run into him and shout into the phone:

  "Sorry, Leticia!!!! This is Annaaaaaaaaa! Please come here!!!!!!!"

  Taken aback, Ricardo fell to the floor, and Anna fell on top of him, still screaming an apology.

  A second later, there was a hearty laugh in the receiver.

  Ricardo tried to break out of Anna's grip, who blocked his entire left side in an attempt to grab the phone. To understand what Leticia said was impossible, but she eventually shouted "OKAAAAAAAAY" to make herself clear and all laughed out loud.

  Anna rolled helplessly from Ricardo to the floor and stretched out like a starfish. Ricardo was breathing heavily but he was smiling. His anger vanished.

  "Thank you." he muttered as if regretting his words instantly.

  "I hope she comes." Anna exhaled and looked at Ri. "Tell me, where Teo is."

  Ricardo stood up and gave the girl a hand.

  "He went to the beach. Find him."

  Anna hugged Ricardo and whispered in his ear, "Sorry again, Ri." Then she grabbed the scarf and ran outside.

  Chapter 52

  It was already dark when Anna found him. Teo sat on the beach and watched the sea - raging, that night it was relentless and the waves swallowed the moon now and then, hiding its cold light. Ten meters away from him, she stopped.

  She was looking at him but Teo didn't see her. How can people's feelings arise and pass quickly? Can sympathy move in hatred and respect in fear? Where is the guarantee that the relationship will not fall apart for years in old age and a fleeting romance will not grow into love for life?

  She looked at him, trying to understand herself. What was she looking for? Did she kill in her heart that distant dream of family and loyalty she had cherished since her youth? Teo reminded her about it. About this very dream, that she could be loved, forever, deeply, to be sure, and he could gift her this dream revived, again breathing full breast, trembling under the light of this moon. If she wanted, she could be loved.

  But did she herself love anyone?

  She looked at Teo. She saw all his virtues, his intellect, strength, confidence, and capabilities. She didn't know much about him but she believed nothing bad. She believed only her eyes. He could make her happy. But...

  She didn't love him.

  Love. What did she know about love? Is love born out of passion? Is there love at first sight, or to love, you need to know more about it? Can she not know the difference between love and passion, love and sympathy? Or maybe she didn't love at all?

  She didn't love him.

  "I don't love him yet."Anna muttered and walked toward Teo.

  He noticed her and stood up. They stopped a meter apart.

  "We have to try, Teo." Anna said, looking into his eyes. "If you believe it's meant to be, maybe I will, too. But I don't..."

  "I love you." Teo said and kissed the girl passionately.

  As his lips greedily kissed hers, and his tongue searched for an answer, the unfinished phrase "But I don't yet love you, Teo" rang in Anna's head. Still she kissed him back with whatever she felt towards him.

  Chapter 53

  Anna stood on the balcony, breathing in the fresh air. It was late and to her left, the sea rustled. The beach was plunged into darkness and the sand seemed to have forgotten its usual ochre shades, reflecting only the gloomy mood of the night. Rare raindrops were falling, trying even under the cover of night to remain undetected.

  Teo knocked lightly on the doorway so as not to frighten the girl by invading her thoughts. But she still shuddered slightly when she discovered his presence.

  "Want to be alone?" he asked calmly.

  Anna turned to him.

  "No." she smiled, afraid to hurt him. "Of course not. Join me."

  Teo walked to the balcony and lit a cigarette. No matter how much Anna peered into his mysterious face, she could not read the emotions he was portraying even in the light of the full moon. Was he happy? Glad? Upset? Disappointed? It reflected none of these traits in his calm expression.

  "I see you've settled the situation with our engaged couple." he said with a smile.

  "Oh, I hope I have! I was terribly ashamed that Rand..." she stammered, fearing the reaction of Teo to the name but the lad's face, though he realized what she was about to say, has not changed.

  "I'm glad everyone's okay." he commented. "And tomorrow we have grand plans, and Leticia will join the adventure."

  "What plans?"

  "It is a surprise!"

  "I hate surprises!" pouted Anna. "Come on, tell me now!"

  Teo hurried to finish his smoke
break to avoid explanations.

  "Time for bed!" he joked paternally. "Bedtime!"

  "Bed?" Anna raised an eyebrow. "You're crazy! What bed! We're going to the beach!"

  "We are what?"

  "Going to the beach!" Anna grabbed him by the arm and began to drag force from the balcony outside because the idea did not inspire him much.

  However, after some effort and impressive kicks she pushed Teo into the street.

  "I'm not walking." he suddenly blurted.

  "Huh? The beach is a few steps away, Teo!" shrugged Anna.

  "I'm cold. Get in the car."

  "Weak ass!" she exclaimed jokingly.

  "Weak ass?! Look what you're wearing and look at me! Sweater vs Vest? Get in the car, Mademoiselle!"

  Comparing their outfits, Anna agreed that the night beach would really look like an iceberg to him in this black tight T-shirt and black shorts. But the possibilities of her acrylic sweater he still exaggerated. She walked to the car, making unhappy faces.

  "Won't you open the door for me to get in the car, sir?"

  "Not this car." Teo smirked and smiled slyly. "That one."

  He pointed to the half-light by the lantern BMW 740Li that stood in the yard's corner.

  "What? Noooo." Anna didn't believe her eyes.

  There was a signalization sound and Teo rang the keys in front of her nose.

  "Ride?"

  "Aaaaaa!!! Of course!" the girl clapped her hands.

  Teo beamed, clearly pleased with her obvious reaction to the luxury car.

  They got into the auto and a wave of questions rained down on him about how he had such a car, when he bought it and why he hadn't given her a ride before. Teo only smiled at her banter but was extremely pleased that such a small thing dispelled her bad mood and he was happy to be a part of it.

  The car belonged to his late father and after his death he inherited it. He liked to drive a Mercedes more because it was a car he had earned himself and he knew its price. BMW came in handy to dispel the clouds hanging over the villa due to recent events.

  Teo drove her around the streets at night and it was incredible. The same feeling of arrant confidence in how he drove made the girl completely relax and trust him. She looked around, night Milan fascinated her, all depressive thoughts dissipated in the air. She observed Teo - so peaceful, and... smiling.

  He smiled. Sight rare but meaningful much. He could not hide that he was glad of her presence, he was happy that she had agreed to give a chance to their relationship, and he was willing to do anything to keep her from changing her mind. But right now he was just glad that he could bring her smile, and he smiled at it himself.

  They stopped at some diner selling fast food through a window at night hours. While Teo was ordering the pizza, Anna stood by the car and tried to arrange her hair, ruffled by the wind, while they were riding around the city.

  A couple of guys drinking beer on a bench nearby and, surely far from being shy, whistled in her direction comments and questions with the standard "Where do you dress up so neat, chick?", "Come with us, eh?" and so on.

  Teo took the pizza and shouted back to the group "She's mine, you stupid losers!". He showed them the known sign from fingers and quietly got into the car. Anna quickly jumped after him, fearing that the young people under the influence of alcohol would get angry and there would be a fight. But those only sprinkled different "courtesy" in response, without a hint of a serious counter-attack.

  Anna looked at Teo with displeasure, though inside she felt a certain pride in the short sentence he had thrown at them.

  "Pizza!" Teo licked his lips and held out the box to her. – "It is vegetarian. Save a piece for me."

  "I'll eat everything! And be fat!"

  "Well, I've always liked the fat ones." he muttered.

  "Oh really? So I'm not your type now?"

  "You are, to be honest, a little bony and silly. And you snore a lot at night. But generally, everything's fine."

  "What???" Anna laughed. "I did not expect such a roast! I thought I was striking you with my beauty!"

  "Never mind. You just have to eat more pizza. And then you'll totally strike me with your beauty. I will wait."

  After receiving a couple of slaps, Teo started the car and they rolled towards the beach.

  Chapter 54

  The sea calmed down completely when they reached the beach. There was almost no wind and the moon was shining at full strength, letting everyone know that she was the only queen of the night. Teo stopped the BMW right in front of the beach and seemed to be right in the center of the bright moonlight.

  They just sat in silence for a few minutes. The night was so enchanting that the words seemed to ruin this magnificent idyll if pronounced, and the couple knew it.

  After a while, Anna finally spoke:

  "What an alluring, magnetic night, Teo. Do you see?"

  He looked at her and said:

  "Like you."

  Anna flushed and looked down.

  "I wrote a song for you. And now is the right time to perform it." With these words he climbed into the back seat to get a guitar.

  "A song?! For me?" she glanced incredulously.

  "Of course for you." Teo smiled and ran his long, graceful fingers along the strings. "And now you'll hear it."

  "Teo, I..."

  But Anna did not have time to finish the sentence, as at the same moment a lyrical melody poured over her and Teo, as if knowing what effect his voice had on her, used it to the maximum. His chords were mesmerizing. Anna didn't know how to react, how to listen, how to breathe. It filled her with so many emotions, they were so different, fighting among themselves, that even the night could hardly hide the internal conflict from detection. But Anna tried to focus on Teo, how amazing he was, how talented, how... in love...

  He was really in love with her. Every note, every chord was showing his feelings with such force and pride that Anna was afraid to somehow mess up this perfect picture. But treacherous thoughts rushed into her head uninvited, tearing her heart apart.

  She tried to hide the little tears running down her cheeks. She was thinking about Randall. It would seem that the longer Teo sang, the more her heart ached for Randall. How is that possible? How could she love Randall so much? Why didn't his action kill her feelings? Why now, sitting next to the perfect on all points guy she thinks about Randall? Why were the lyrics associated only with him and not with her and Teo? Why was she looking at Teo and seeing Randall? What did Randall do that was so special to sink so deeply into the very depths of her soul?

  Teo finished and smiled. An alarm immediately replaced his joy when he noticed that tears were flowing down Anna's cheeks.

  "Anna? Are you okay?"

  Suddenly Anna burst into hysterical laughter and, not to spoil everything, she jumped up abruptly, threw herself on Teo's neck, thanking him for the beautiful composition.

  "Those were the most beautiful words I've ever heard!" she exclaimed, not knowing why she was laughing.

  Teo was confused, but he didn't resist the hug.

  "Did you like the song?"

  "Sure! And now to swim!"

  "What?"

  In a flash, Anna opened and, still laughing, ran across the sand towards the sea.

  "Anna!" Teo shouted after her, leaning out of the car. "Anna, what nonsense, what are you doing! Ice water, Anna! Come back now!"

  Anna heard nothing. She laughed and ran to the water. Teo followed her with quick steps.

  "Anna, stop it! Come on! Don't get into the water!"

  As soon as she reached it, Anna threw herself into the water, and her body seemed to be pierced by thousands of needles but her soul felt so good. She did not laugh anymore, she cried loudly but the sea swallowed all her sobs and even she herself could not hear herself crying.

  "Anna!! God, you're so stupid! What a kindergarten!" Teo walked into the water and, grabbing the girl in his arms, dragged her from the icy water.

  Wrapping her arm
s around his neck, she kissed him and laughed again.

  "You smell like fish!" he winced. "That is disgusting! Yack!"

  "Really, what horror!" she laughed. "Look, I'm covered in scales!"

  "What a clever deed!" Teo pinched his nose and kept moving back to the car. "Today you sleep on the mat in the corridor! And you should have thought of diving at a time like this!"

  Anna laughed and stuck the sleeves of her pullover, soaked in the fishy smell, up to his nose.