Not Giving Up on Forever

by Yana Stevelork

  "God, help me..." she whispered and closed her eyes.

  Time was lost in the slumber that descended upon her.

  Chapter 60

  Anna woke up to a noise in her room. It was Teo, trying to change as quietly as possible but he dropped the hanger and it crashed to the stone floor, waking her up. She glanced at him sleepily and caught the guilty look on his face for having inadvertently awakened her but his usual sullenness quickly replaced it.

  "Teo..." Anna whispered.

  "Sorry." he hurried into the bathroom.

  Teo was in the shower for about half an hour, and all the while Anna wondered if Ricardo had talked to him or not and if she should have brought it up again. Teo interrupted her thoughts himself as he entered the room, wet and smelling of lime.

  "Go ahead, meet him." he said angrily, covering his face with a towel.

  "What?" Anna couldn't believe her ears.

  "I said, go ahead meet Parleo if it makes you happy. You didn't have to send Ricardo to me for that."

  "Teo, I just..."

  "You would have gone no matter what."

  "I wouldn't go if you didn't want me to, Teo."

  "You are not a prisoner in this house, and I am not your master. Do whatever you please."

  "Teo, I told you I wouldn't go if you didn't approve."

  "Well, I don't approve, Anna. But don't be disingenuous. My opinion won't stop you. So that your conscience may not spoil your meeting, I say you may go to Randall, who is expecting you tomorrow morning."

  "Teo, that's a frivolous accusation! I want to meet him, to dot the i's and cross the t's, and nothing more."

  "I don't want to hear anything else, Anna. I am tired." Teo gasped and crawled under the covers. "It's four in the morning and I have to get up early tomorrow."

  "Teo!"

  "Goodnight, Anna. I'll go to work tomorrow, and I'll even be happy to give you a lift to your lover, as I mentioned in the kitchen. Be ready by eight in the morning, darling."

  "Shut up!" Anna cried, jumping on top of him and covering his mouth with a kiss.

  Teo didn't expect this and at first, he resisted and tried to push her back onto her side of the bed, but she firmly grabbed his hands and put them on her buttocks. It instantly stopped resistance. Teo took the initiative and the next second they were kissing and caressing each other. Anna wouldn't let go of Teo for a second but when he realized she was suddenly ready to move on that night, he pulled away from her and took out a condom.

  "What? Noooo..." moaned the girl.

  "Don't be silly, Anna. It's safety."

  "I don't feel anything with that thing! I don't want with the condom, Teo! Just come out when you're nearing the end."

  "Anna, don't act like a child." Teo grunted and continued to put on the latex.

  "Are you afraid I'd make you sick with somethin'?"

  Teo stopped and looked into her eyes.

  "That too.I'm sorry to be blunt but I don't know how many guys or what "quality" of 'em you had before me. And your so familiar to me partner is making me vomit, so- nothing personal, baby."

  "So, I'm all dirty and you're an angel?!" Anna sat up in bed and pulled away from Teo, glaring at him.

  "I'm not an angel so I wear a condom. Now get back to your original position and stop talking."

  "You've ruined the moment."

  "Ruined the moment? Anna, sometimes I think you have no sense of self-preservation. I didn't ruin no moment, I want you."

  "Some other time." she said, pulling her clothes back on as she got out of bed.

  "Oh, brilliant!" Teo shouted and ripped off the condom. "Can't you just enjoy things? You know, what! Fuck it. Goodnight."

  "Goodnight." Anna answered and left the room, slamming the door behind her.

  Chapter 61

  She went out into the hall and plopped down on the sofa, stepping over the bottles. Thoughts swarmed through her mind. Teo didn't see the logic in her reaction, but Anna saw the situation in a very different light.

  It was the last night before she could meet Randall and she had to make up her mind to move on with Teo. And she couldn't do that, coming up with the first excuse that came to mind. Stupid? Yes. Cruel? Yes. But to whom?

  Why did she keep following that idiotic plan when she knew that if she slept with Teo, it would just make Randall feel uncomfortable as he couldn't stand Teo, but it wouldn't hurt him at all because he didn't love the girl. Teo would only be glad because in his eyes it is a proof that Anna was ready to be with him, that she had feelings for him.

  It was cruel to her. She persisted, intending to punish herself. That she could not be ideal, whom Randall would fall in love with. That she could not love Teo, but he was worthy of reciprocal feelings. That she was ready to run like a dog when Randall whistled and with all this still hoping that his heart could change when he knew that Anna was with Teo.

  She began to cry aloud but some unknown force continued to drown her in the circumstances she had designed the moment that same pain stabbed her in the heart for the first time. Why couldn't she just stop everything, as Mark had told her on the phone, pack up and go back to Mining Great City? What was she doing here?

  Her shoulders, shaking with sobs, clasped in familiar hands. It was Teo.

  "It's worth the Guinness book of world records for the weirdest reaction to a guy choosing to have sex in a condom." he murmured, smiling in the darkness.

  "Leave me alone, Teo." she barely squeezed the words.

  "Never." he took her in his arms and carried her back into the room.

  Putting her on the bed, he began to wipe her tears with light movements of his lips.

  "I love you, silly. I was just thinking about your safety. Before you, I only had girls I picked up at concerts and parties, and only for "sleeping and forgetting in the morning." But for your information, I'm clean. However, this does not exclude the risk of pregnancy. Or did you get sick when this topic was held in your school? There is nothing offensive with being vigilant." he grinned and went on softly. "But you are my love, and your body is a work of art to me. I adore you, every cell of your body, your laughter, your tossings, your stupidity. You are my ideal. I found you, and I don't want to lose you. Never."

  With that, he began to cover her body with kisses and take off her clothes.

  A private fear had haunted Anna. She had no other reason to prevent what was happening.

  She whispered "Sorry" and Teo entered her.

  Only the apology wasn't meant for him.

  Chapter 62

  "What is it?" Anna screamed at the hot spray that seemed to explode deep inside her.

  "I came." Teo said, and leaned back on the other side of the bed, burrowing into the covers.

  "In me??? Teo????" Anna jumped up in horror and a sticky liquid ran down her legs.

  "You didn't want to wear a condom, did you."

  "Are you out of your mind??? Oh, God, Teo!!!!" shivering, Anna ran to the bathroom to take a hot shower.

  She was numb. Ruthlessly scrubbing the body with a sponge, she was washing off the sperm as if it was dirt and showered Teo with curses. He did it on purpose! Why would he do that? What nonsense! What was she thinking? She couldn't even imagine Teo not cuming out at the right time.

  Teo walked into the bathroom and she started punching him.

  "What have you done, Teo?!! Did you do that on purpose???? Didn't you just worry that I might get knocked up and deliberately cum in me??!! Bastard!"

  Grabbing her elbows, he said:

  "Anna, stop yelling. I did nothing on purpose. Nevertheless, I'm not made of marble and all this time I've endured you stopping me with all your signals when it came to sex. But look, prior to meeting Randall, you were suddenly horny and wanted to go for it, so it would probably hurt him more? Well, if you get pregnant, he's going to be in a lot of pain, and I guess I did you a favor here. Oh, no, of course not, what am I saying! Of course, you are so in love with me that you are not afraid to get pregnant, becaus
e I will marry you anyway, and we will always be together, I'm a great guy! Now throw the dice, Anna!"

  With that, Teo pushed Anna's hands away from him and walked out of the bathroom.

  Anna slid down the wall, weeping bitterly.

  Chapter 63

  Teo came back a few minutes later and, throwing a wide bath towel over her, led her out of the bathroom into the bedroom.

  "Anna, listen," he said quietly, wiping away her tears. "stop crying. Nothing terrible happened. You're not pregnant. We'll just go to the drugstore and get you some post-pills. Nothing is so terrible to be so grieved. Calm down, please. And get it out of your head that I'm some kind of monster who wants to get you pregnant. I was just so enjoying myself that I missed the moment. But we'll fix it."

  "What a brute you are!" she retorted through her tears. "Post-pills and that's it? You think it's so harmless?"

  "No, I don't think so. But I think in this situation, it's the only option to protect you."

  "Protect me!"

  "Protect you. Even though I was angry right now, I certainly wouldn't leave you if you got knocked up. And I mean, IF- don't look at me like that. I love you, Anna. And obviously I wouldn't run away. I'd be happy."

  "Happy? Fuck you!" Anna threw a towel at him and began to dress up quickly. "Let's go to the pharmacy!"

  Teo sighed.

  "I'm going to start the car." he said calmly, leaving the room.

  "Randall warned me not to trust you!" Anna blurted out, immediately regretting what she'd said.

  Teo turned and glared at her.

  "Repeat that."

  "You heard me..."

  "You know, Anna. I swallow everything from you. What Randall told you, doesn't surprise me, but seeing you trust this loser who doesn't know how to beat you off just for fun, just hurts me. I will tell you once again that - even if I were happy to have a family with you - I would never create one through force or against your will, and not in this way to achieve your - obviously unwanted - pregnancy. However, what you just said, as I understand, comes from your conversation with Randall, and I'll tell you what. No matter how bad he makes me look to you, none of this is true, and Randall doesn't know what he means by trying to trick you into staying away from me. I have known him for many years and as lads we had an aversion to each other but his hatred is not about competition for the tourists. It goes from the usual envy of my money and position. Randall and I took part in the same musical contest, which gave rise to huge career opportunities. He's a great musician if you don't know, but not great enough. Because I won the contest, and I wasn't even really fighting for the award at the time - I was living an idle life, dabbling in drugs, sleeping with all sorts of girls, and Randall was obsessed with winning because the prize money and the roads that victory opened would have lifted him out of poverty. But I won, Anna. That same day, his girlfriend named Lisa quickly ran over to me, not because, as Randall thinks, she fell in love with me immediately, but because I had a lot of marijuana in the house, and she was completely addicted and ended badly, which Randall blames me for, too, although I did nothing except having sex with her, and in general I was not interested in her more or less than all the other girls I slept with."

  "What happened to her?"

  "From marijuana she jumped to heroin. She overdosed but was saved. As I said, I don't know much about her, Anna. She wasn't my girlfriend. Randall can tell you whatever he wants, but I had nothing to do with this story. I'm not responsible for all the girls I've just slept with."

  "Randall didn't say anything to me at all, Teo... He just warned to keep aloof from you. But I can see why."

  "Can see why? How can you, Anna! I don't care what he told you or what he didn't. I have told you all that your lover may have against me, but you can scarcely see that he speaks out of envy. Everything I do and have now, he wanted to have. But whatever depraved life I lead, I deserved that reward, Anna. I was better than him, and I was appreciated."

  "Let's go to the pharmacy, please." Anna said, and silently finishing dressing up, she left the room.

  Chapter 64

  They rode in silence. Teo stared at the road, and Anna tried to control her thoughts, which seemed to move her from side to side with their amplitude. She wanted to scream, to cry, to laugh.

  "Do you feel anything for me?" she blurted out and Teo slowed down at the suddenness of her question.

  "What?"

  "Do you feel anything for me? You said you usually just sleep with girls, and you don't care."

  "You think I've been lying to you all this time, Anna?" Teo looked at her, trying to read the emotions on her face.

  "I don't know what to think. Though I still think that all of a sudden you're not likely to fall in love with me."

  Teo stopped the auto. Anna looked at him anxiously, expecting drama.

  "Why did you stop?"

  "We're here." he nodded toward the flashing 24 hours pharmacy banner. It was still very early, and this pharmacy was on duty.

  "Oh. OK." she opened the car door to go outside, but Teo slammed the door shut.

  "Wait." he said softly. "Anna. I didn't lie to you. Never. I know it all looks very fast. Believe me-it is for me, too. But this is my first time, so to say. I never liked any girl before I met you. So these feelings fell on me like a snowball, and I just couldn't keep quiet. I wanted you to know how I feel about you. I didn't lie to you about anything, Anna."

  Anna looked into his eyes. Was he telling the truth? Did it matter whether or not he loved her? Nevertheless, Anna admitted to herself feeling some relief when Teo assured her of his feelings. She was looking at him, and she didn't see Randall instead. She saw Teo.

  "Turn around. Take me home, please."

  "What? We came to the pharmacy, Anna."

  "I throw the dice, as you advised me to do."

  "Anna, God, I was furious, I was angry, that's why I..."

  "I'm throwing the dice, Teo. I want this. Come what may."

  "Anna, you're so bewildering! Don't be silly, I'll go buy the pills."

  "Teo! Let's go fuckin' home!"

  Teo froze perplexed. He was so confused that he didn't even know how to act. He glanced at her again, then started the engine and turned toward the house.

  ***

  He was not afraid that she might get pregnant. He was afraid that she seemed to be punishing herself for something. Was it because she had decided to have sex with him? And she wanted to know if heaven would punish her by tying her to Teo with the possible child for what she did or if she didn't get pregnant, would she just leave him because her relationship with him was a mistake? He knew why she was with him. He saw what she was in this relationship for. He knew that he was only an instrument of her despair, of her attempts to reach Randall's heart. But he couldn't "turn on" pride and send her away with her selfishness.

  He did love her with all his heart. She thinks he suddenly fell in love with her when she flew back to Milan and it was impossibly fast, but she was wrong. He loved her when Randall arrived once again to quarrel with him about tourists, saying that he was expecting a charming chick called Anna Ryans, and he desperately needed money and tourists, and he, Teo, was just the pig that made money hand over the glove, running the market like a fucking monopolist. When Teo joked that if Randall would show how charming this Anna Ryans was, he'd give him and Bernardo a couple of groups of foreigners, but not anymore. And Randall without a second thought threw a phone with a photo of the girl on the social network at Teo. And that was when Teo knew that Anna was the one for whom his heart beat.

  Chapter 65

  The next day Anna has fallen ill. She was glad to stay in bed, surrounded by the fruit and flowers Teo had brought as soon as he realized she wasn't feeling well. He had to leave for work that day, and after making sure she was all right at home by herself, he drove off.

  Left alone, Anna first fell into a deep sleep with chaotic events, and upon awakening, binge watched the season of "The Ghost Whisperer." By ev
ening, she had regained her normal state of health and prepared a romantic dinner while she waited for Teo to return from work.

  He was very late but when arrived, he was genuinely surprised to find Anna in a crimson evening dress, with curled hair, scarlet lipstick on her lips, standing in front of a luxurious dinner, beckoning with its magnificent smell.

  "Waiting for who? Confess!" Teo joked, putting off the working overalls.

  "For you, silly!" Anna smiled.

  "Are you feeling better? You're very beautiful... dressed up."

  "I'm almost well." Anna handed him the guitar. "But a couple of songs will completely heal me."

  Teo let out a satisfied chuckle and wasted no time in performing Jason Mraz – "I'm Yours", making mind-blowing faces.