Ryan, Sylvia - Saved by One, Shared by Two (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Sylvia Ryan

Julia writhed with his actions, trying to get more than what he was giving.

  He withdrew his fingers suddenly and placed a heavy hand in the center of her back. “You lie still,” he ordered. “You’ll get what I give you when I’m ready to give it.” With a soft bite on her ass, he penetrated her again with one finger, then two, withdrew and trailed his touch up from her core to the bud of her rear. He penetrated her rear with his finger and her pussy with another. She felt his hot breath again against her folds. His tongue and teeth rasped against her. His fingers fucked her, working in perfect unison to the sweet torture of his mouth.

  Julia groaned his name, and her body began to tense.

  He responded with harder, deeper penetrations and a quicker, more brutal mouth.

  Julia was frenzied and surged against him again. She couldn’t help herself. He had brought her to a point of sweet agony in only minutes, and her body’s primal, begging reaction had her squirming toward his fingers and mouth.

  His heavy hand came down again, pressing her back, forcing her to still her squirming, needy requests.

  “Fuck!” she yelled in agony.

  He slapped her ass with a warning. “Keep still, or I’ll stop again.”

  Sex with Ben was like a gauntlet—rough, commanding, challenging. His demand was for nothing less than total submission of her mind and body, and in return he gave her the unspoken promise of total pleasure.

  A pleading whine came from Julia’s mouth.

  “You’re being bad,” Ben said as he spanked her ass again and then savagely penetrated her rear and vagina again without warning. He captured her clit between his teeth.

  Julia yelped in surprise.

  He took the swollen nub into his mouth and sucked roughly. His penetrations hardened and deepened.

  “Fuck me, Ben, please.” Julia begged Ben for his cock. She wanted him inside of her. Filling her. “Please!”

  “No.”

  Julia tried to lift herself off the bed. “Dammit, Ben, I—” Before she could finish, his heavy hand came down on the center of her back again as his other spanked her ass. Julia felt like she could die from the emptiness left by his finger’s absence from inside her. “Oh God, don’t stop,” she pleaded.

  As soon as his fingers reentered her two holes and started pumping in sync with his suction of her clit, she was there. She floated in unbelievable ecstasy, reaching the top of her climax and remaining there suspended, transfixed, before falling, shuddering with waves of ecstasy. Julia’s cries were loud and shameless. She was lost in the overload of her senses. His hands and mouth did not relent. They did what they wanted, as much as they wanted. Her body trembled with uncontrolled muscles. Her wet cunt suctioned on the final advance of his fingers before he pulled them out.

  * * * *

  Ben felt like he was going to come in his pants just hearing Julia scream his name while his tongue was on her and his fingers inside her tight, sweet openings.

  When he was done stretching her climax out, she was spread out, panting, and totally spent before him.

  “That’s my girl,” he said in her ear. The hard-on underneath his jeans pressed against her ass as he leaned over her. He swatted her rear playfully. “I’ll see you downstairs.”

  It took serious determination for Ben to walk away from her. He wanted to be inside her so badly he was nearly dying from it. But Ben wanted it to be very clear in Julia’s mind that this encounter with him was for her, not him. It was not a booty call. It was more than that to him. He hoped it was more than that to her, too.

  Chapter 10

  After he retreated from the bed and left the room, closing the door behind him, Julia lay there, wet and motionless like a puddle.

  When she gathered herself together enough to get up, she hesitated for a while, hoping the men would leave the house for their usual routine. She had been too loud with Ben this morning. There was no denying what had happened, and she wasn’t sure she could face Arden. They didn’t leave, however, and eventually she walked downstairs.

  The two men were cheerfully bantering at the kitchen table. When Arden’s eyes met hers, they were sparkling with good spirits.

  “We were wondering if you were ever going to grace us with your presence,” he said.

  Feeling guilty and ashamed, she dropped her eyes to the floor and made her way to the counter to grab an apple and a knife.

  Julia felt terrible. She didn’t want to hurt Arden. She loved him. There was no denying it. So, if she loved him, how could she have just been with Ben?

  Arden walked up quietly behind her. “It’s okay, Julia.” He wrapped his arm briefly around her waist as she stayed facing the counter, cutting her apple into slices. “I’m okay, and you should be, too.” He gave her a quick squeeze and returned to the table.

  Julia’s stomach twisted.

  “We do need to talk to you though. Last night, we made a pretty extensive list of things we need before winter. Ben and I have to leave for a while.”

  Julia’s attention was ripped from the apple she was cutting. She turned to face the two men sitting at the table. “The both of you? No!”

  “We don’t have a choice, kitten,” Ben said, leveling a serious stare at her. “We need to go so that we can make it through the winter. There are some things are just non-negotiable, and this is one. We need matches, and warm clothes for you, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  “No!” both men said in unison.

  “Kitten, you’ll be safer here. We can’t protect you as well out in the open.”

  Julia’s glance shot over to Ben. “I don’t fucking need protecting.”

  “You’re not going,” Ben countered. “Now let’s stop wasting our time discussing it.”

  Julia flared with fury then fear. She slammed her knife down and stormed out the door.

  “I got this,” she heard Arden say as he stood and followed her.

  “Julia, Julia! Stop, damn it!” he yelled as the screen door slammed behind him.

  Julia stopped and twirled around in attack mode. “I don’t get a say on what goes on here? I just have to do whatever you two say? Bullshit.”

  “It’s not like that, and you know it. You are an equal partner here, and your opinion counts. You walked away last night when we made our list and came to the conclusion that it just wouldn’t be as safe for you out there. Plus, we need to leave somebody behind to defend the farm. Julia, you would have come to the same conclusion if you had been in there with us. We don’t like it either, but it has to be done.” He stepped closer. “Come back in. You have to help us finish our list. I know this is hard, but you need to be on board.”

  Julia softened, and she looked at the ground for a moment, taking a deep breath. Then, over Arden’s shoulder, she saw Ben standing behind the screen door in the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest. Julia nodded in resignation and took Arden’s outstretched hand to walk back to the kitchen.

  But instead of walking, he wrapped his arm around her waist, stopped her, and tilted his head down so that his forehead met hers. “Like Ben told you, you have to trust us.” He cupped his palm to her cheek, kissed her, and walked her up the porch stairs where Ben stepped out and held the back door open for them to enter.

  “All right, kitten, other than the coat, gloves, hat, and boots for you we already have on the list, is there anything else you need?”

  The room was silent. The men looked at her expectantly.

  “Tampons or pads are on the top of that list for me,” she mumbled.

  The men glanced at each other. “Oh goodie,” Arden said. “Even after the fall of the free world, women are still sending their men out to get them tampons.”

  Ben roared with laughter.

  Julia joined them, and they laughed together until tears poured from their eyes.

  The tense moment was broken and the return of the easy comfort among them was a welcome feeling for Julia. They spent the next hours nailin
g down their list and timetable for departure.

  They would be able to have Julia set up safe and secure for their absence in about a day. They decided to leave the day after next.

  * * * *

  The next twenty-four hours were a blur of activity. After carrying Julia’s queen-size mattress down the stairs and laying it in close proximity to the wood burner, Arden taught Julia how to build and maintain a fire. If the weather turned cold, she could close the door at the bottom of the stairs to seal off the upper level of the house, and the little wood-burning stove would be able to comfortably heat the lower level of the house. He then set up the inside so her first fire would need nothing but a light. Next, Arden stacked a large amount of wood in the family room so that it would be warm and dry when she needed it.

  When Arden was done with her, Ben grabbed her hand. “My turn,” he said as he led her outside. He went over the use of the pistol and rifle that would be left with her while they were gone, having her load and reload each. He quizzed her on the safety features and then made her take some practice shots with each gun.

  Ben then grabbed some heavy blankets from the house and led her over to his burned-out farm. He showed her the hidden root cellar there. He gave her directions on how to get there in a way that was not visible from Arden’s farmhouse in case she had to run without being seen.

  The root cellar was underground, so the temperature was less extreme compared to the outside air. He explained that the blankets he brought would be enough to keep her warm without a fire. He told her that if she had to leave the house, not to leave the root cellar to come looking for them. They would come looking for her when they got back.

  On the walk back, Julia noticed the chill in the air. The ominous signs of winter manifested in the steel-gray clouds and biting wind. It was as if Mother Nature had decided it was time to get busy with the change of seasons, and the weather quickly complied with her command. The long, warm fall was finally giving in to winter.

  The three of them had an uncomfortably quiet evening that night. Emotions weighed down the air but remained unspoken by all of them. The men went upstairs to their respective bedrooms early and left Julia alone on her mattress in the family room.

  After Julia tossed and turned for half the night, she realized that sleep was going to be elusive. Her fears were keeping her up. She wasn’t afraid to be left alone. She was afraid for the men’s safety. She felt responsible for them having to go in the first place. Almost everything on the final list they had formed was for her.

  Julia got up from the mattress and treaded lightly upstairs. Both men’s bedroom doors were open.

  She crept into Arden’s room and stood there watching him sleep. His expression was intense, especially for him. It was sexy. She stared at him for a long time, trying to sort out her feelings. She just didn’t get it. Why didn’t it bother him that she had been sexual with Ben? Because he didn’t love her, duh. How many times was she going to go over this in her mind? No matter how much she thought about it or wished it was different, there was no love there. And that was okay.

  Arden deserved better than what he was getting from her. She loved him, yes. But he deserved someone who loved only him. She wished she could be that. She couldn’t. She couldn’t change who she was. She couldn’t change what she needed to ultimately be happy in a relationship long term.

  Julia slipped out and went to Laura’s room to look in on Ben. She squashed a laugh when she saw his enormous body on Laura’s twin bed covered by what she knew was a hot pink comforter. As she came around so she could see his face in the dim moonlight, she saw his eyes were open.

  “You okay?” he whispered.

  “I’m sorry, I woke you up.”

  “No, I was up. I’ve been having a hard time sleeping knowing you were alone downstairs.”

  “Don‘t worry about me.” She paused and looked away from him. “I’m counting on you to bring both your asses back home to me. Don‘t fuck this up, Ben. You two have to come back.”

  “Ah, you have such a sweet, pretty way with words, kitten,” he said, mocking her.

  She punched him in the arm. “Ass!”

  He chuckled as she walked out the door and back down the stairs.

  * * * *

  At that moment, Ben longed to tell Julia how he felt about her. He wanted to tell her that he couldn’t get her out of his head. He kept trying to pull his thoughts away from her, but like a stretched bungee cord, they just sprung back to him quickly and with force.

  He loved her.

  He knew it because he didn’t want to leave her. He knew it because he wanted to protect her with every fiber of his body. He knew it because even being inside of her wouldn’t be close enough for him. His heart beat faster when she was near him. His cock hardened with every stray thought of her. A piece of him was missing when she wasn’t close to him.

  * * * *

  The next morning, both men were up early. They ate and drank their fill in silence and walked through the house to make sure they hadn’t missed any last minute instructions.

  “Well, it looks like you’re all set,” Arden said, glancing at her then at Ben. “You ready?”

  “Yep.”

  They both looked at her. Ben walked up. “It’s going to be okay.” He breathed into her hair as he held her then kissed her on the cheek.

  Arden stepped forward when Ben walked out the door. He pressed himself to her. “I love you, Julia.” He kissed her other cheek and released her.

  Julia met his eyes. She was flustered. She didn’t know. She wasn’t expecting this. Julia’s throat was too choked up to offer a response, and he didn’t wait for one. She looked down at her feet, trying to choke down internal sobs. Fear and uncertainty chipped away at her calm façade. She followed out the door behind him.

  She watched them from the junction where the drive met the road as they left with empty packs on their backs, canteens over their shoulders and guns in their hands until she could no longer see them.

  She walked back to the kitchen and looked around. It was weird being in the house now. It was cold and un-welcoming, like she didn’t belong there. The quiet emptiness of the house echoed within her. With the men gone, it felt like a piece of her was gone, too, like a gaping hole was created in the center of her body. Emptiness somersaulted with eerie despair in the gaping void. She let go of a moan of anguish, and now with no audience, she let it all go until there were no tears left, and her throat was sore from her racking sobs. She was utterly alone. She wondered if her heart would survive if they didn’t make it back.

  Chapter 11

  Julia was well qualified to diagnose the full spectrum of mental health disorders from sociopath to pathetically depressed. It was definitely depression that descended on her. It swallowed her whole. She completely lost the desire to eat, and sleep was hard to come by. She knew that exercise would jumpstart her mood and put her back in the right frame of mind, but she had promised Mother Hen Ben that she would stay in the house as much as possible. No visits to Salt Creek. No wandering, which meant no jogging.

  So, with nothing else to do, Julia ticked away the hours of that first day within her own head. She sorted out all of her roiling feelings without the constant distraction of the men.

  The men. Plural. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

  Julia mentally listed the men she’d dated in her previous life, before the EMP. They were too nice, too irresponsible, too boring, or stupid. They drank too much or had no career future.

  She also found that most men just wanted to get into her pants, which wouldn’t have been so bad if any of them knew what they were doing in bed. Most sucked at plain old normal sex, and those who didn’t weren’t too interested in meeting her more unusual sexual needs.

  So far, her lovers had been mostly about themselves, and when they were done, they were done. With the utter lack of anything else her mind could focus on, Julia delved deeper into herself. It struck her that she’d grown bitter in
her disappointment.

  As a result, she made little to no effort to get to know the men she was attracted to. Julia had built a protective wall around herself. And in the last few years, very few men had been invited inside her defenses. The wall grew taller and stronger as every new brick of disappointment was set into place, mortared by the will to have it all.

  But now there were two.

  Before the EMP, she could never find a man who was even close to the whole package. Ben and Arden together…the whole package. Sensitive and sexual. Gentle and rough. Nurturing and overwhelming. The sun and the moon.

  Arden had the qualities within him that every woman looked for in a man. He was romantic, sensitive, and smart. He talked with her on her own level about practically anything. She could express her feelings, and he listened. He was able to carry on that emotional conversation with her, which was a major skill for any man. He was gentle and attentive. Her body responded to him. Maybe it was since he already had her brain, the body easily followed. He took her to climax effortlessly.

  Ben was the perfect other side of the coin, the moon to Arden’s sun. Oh God, Ben. She got wet every time he looked at her. There was a well of aggression within him that her body and soul needed. It was as if he really understood her deviant within, her rough edges, and he accepted it. He had a great sense of humor, and she could verbally joust with him for the rest of her life. Best of all, he took total control of her in bed. She trusted him to do that. She needed him to do that.

  She tossed around her feelings for the men, trying to be objective and reasonable, but she finally caved. Oh hell, who was she kidding? She didn’t need to do any deep psychological soul searching. She was in love, with Arden and Ben, and she felt like a fucking freak because of it. This was not normal. It was not an acceptable social situation in any culture. She’d always known she was different, but come on!

  She had to try to stay neutral. She had to deny what she felt for them. This was going to be hard for her. It would make her crazy. But her mind knew neutral was the right thing to do. She also knew her heart and body revolted against her mind’s sound reasoning.