One Wild Night

by Vivian Ward

  “Listen, Nick. There’s been a lot of things that have happened between us and I’m not trying to hurt you. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do. I just think you should forget about me and move on.”

  I didn’t even realize that I’d been making my way towards him while I talked but before I knew it, I was standing directly in front of him, looking up into his sad eyes.

  When he made eye contact with me, I was caught off guard as the sudden desire for him built up within me. Why in the hell did he have to be so damn attractive?

  “That’s just not going to happen, Shay,” he told me.

  His words were not threatening nor did he mean for them to be. He wasn’t saying them to scare me or to attempt to force me into taking him back. They were simply facts. He wasn’t going to give up.

  This was a talk that we’d both been needing to have for a long time. I knew it was going to be hard to have the discussion, but I had no clue it was going to be that hard.

  The big, strong guy I’d come to know looked like he was going to break down in tears at any moment. I felt like I should say something but I had no idea what words would be helpful in that situation. Instead, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

  With my eyes closed, I felt Nick touching my cheek. It was a soft, gentle touch. The kind of touch that always surprised me. You wouldn’t expect someone so big to be able to touch you so softly. I liked it. It was a touch that I missed on a daily basis.

  Still, I should have recoiled and pulled away from that touch. It wasn’t fair to him for me to say one thing and then act in a different manner. I didn’t want to lead him on. I didn’t want to confuse him as to what was happening.

  Hell, I didn’t want to confuse myself.

  As much as I wanted to pull away from his touch, I couldn’t make myself do it. It was almost like he’d put a spell on me. Before I knew what hit me, he leaned in and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.

  This wasn’t one of the typical aggressive kisses that we’d shared a hundred times. This kiss was almost too gentle for a man like him to be able to give. Even though our lips barely grazed each other, I could feel the electricity shooting through my body.

  He kissed me again, this time a little harder. I could feel my insides tossing and turning, and my pussy felt like it was on fire. Nick kissed me a third time, now slipping his tongue into my mouth while cradling my face in his hands.

  I was running my hands up and down his chest, feeling his muscles flex as he moved. I kissed him back. I wanted him so bad. I wanted to rip his clothes off and have him take me right there on the kitchen table.

  Right as I was about to grab for the bottom of his shirt in an attempt to pull it off his body, he let go of my face and stepped away from me. He took a deep breath before a smile spread across his face. He appeared to be a different person. He wasn’t the same broken man I’d been seeing for so long.

  “Thank you, Shay,” he said.

  “What are you thanking me for?” I asked, entirely unsure of what was happening.

  He just smiled even bigger and thanked me again before stepping back towards me and placing his hands on my shoulder.

  “You have no idea how badly I’ve needed this,” he said.

  I didn’t know what to say to him, but I knew I’d done exactly what I was trying to avoid. I told him one thing and acted in an entirely different manner. Now I’d put all these thoughts and feelings in Nick’s head, and I didn’t want to do that.

  “What’s the matter?” Nick said, realizing that I was conflicted.

  “We really shouldn’t have done that. That was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have let that happen,” I told him as I buried my face in my hands.

  I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I needed to put some space between the two of us. I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. Nick, of course, followed right behind me.

  “Shay, it’s okay. I realize that you may still need some more time. I’m fine with that. I can give you all the time you need,” he told me, a smile forming across his face once again. “I can see that you still love me, and that’s all I’ve wanted to know this entire time. If you’re not ready yet, that’s fine. I’ve waited this long and I can wait longer.”

  He leaned in and told me he loved me in my ear before giving me a light kiss on the cheek.

  After that, he didn’t say another word. He just smiled at me one more time before turning and walking out of the apartment. I stood in place for what felt like forever.

  What did I just do?

  Chapter 13

  Nick

  Even though Shay had told me that she shouldn’t have let me kiss her, I was in a better mood than I’d been in for a long time. Although I had been there, it all felt like a dream and I was having trouble processing the fact that things had gone down the way they did.

  After months of being apart and her not even willing to speak to me, I was finally able to touch her once again. I was able to kiss her and feel her breath on me. I was pumped.

  I was over the moon.

  On top of that, she still loved me. She didn’t say those words, but she didn’t have to. I could feel it when I touched her. I could feel it when we kissed. She didn’t have to say she loved me. She never said she didn’t.

  As much as I wanted to be with her, I knew that rushing things wouldn’t do me any good. I’d have to be patient and bide my time. I understood that she still needed space. I realized that she needed time to process everything in her head. All I knew was that in the end, she was going to be mine once more.

  Shay and I communicated here and there during the weeks that followed. It wasn’t like it used to be, but it was something. I would text her here and there asking about her day, and she’d reply with a couple of sentences. We weren’t where I wanted us to be, but at least it was something.

  I knew that she needed time, and I was doing the best I could to make sure I was giving her all the space she needed. It required patience on my part, and I’ve never been known for my patience.

  Being without her was driving me crazy. I needed her in my life, and I was really starting to grow frustrated. I wasn’t frustrated with her. None of this was her fault. I was frustrated with the situation in general.

  After a while, she finally agreed to meet with me. We both decided that there was going to be no expectations when it came to seeing one another. We were just going to talk and see what happened from there. I was all right with that. At the very least, she was open to giving me a chance.

  She got off work at 4:00 pm so we made plans to meet at 5:00. I showed up at her apartment right on time, but she wasn’t there. I waited for a while before calling her cell phone. She didn’t answer. I waited longer and called again with the same result. It was a little after 8:00 when she finally got home.

  “Hello, gorgeous. Did you forget we were getting together this evening?” I asked, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek as she approached.

  “Nick, this really isn’t a good night for me. I think you should just go home, and I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  There was so much hurt and sadness in her eyes. She looked different than I’d ever seen her bore and wondered what was going on.

  “Shay? Are you okay?” I asked as I placed my hand on her shoulder and bent down to be more level with her.

  “I’ve just had a really bad day, and I want it to be over with. Can we please do this another night?”

  She looked up at me before unlocking her door. It was hard to get a good look at her in the dark, but once she flipped on her living room light, I could see that she’d been crying.

  “Well hold on. Something obviously happened. Is it something I can help with?”

  “No, there’s nothing you can help with. I promise you that we’ll do this another time. I just can’t do this tonight. Please just go home and I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”

  She was begging me to leave, and I thought about turning to go back to my truck, but that didn�
��t feel like the right thing to do.

  We might not have been together officially, but I felt like it was still my job to be there for me when she needed me. I couldn’t leave her sitting there upset and alone.

  “Shay, you need to let me in. I can see something is bothering you. Let me help you. Just tell me what it is.”

  She looked up at me, and I could see many layers of pain within her eyes. I’d never seen a person look so sad, and I wanted to know what was causing her such anguish. Eventually, she walked into her living room, sat down on her couch and put her face in her hands.

  I closed the door behind me and took a seat next to her on the sofa. I knew she was having a hard time with something, and I didn’t want to push her. I would wait until she was ready to talk.

  Instead, I placed my hand on her back and rubbed up and down, letting her know I as there for her. I had no idea what could have been on her mind or what I needed to do in order to help.

  “It’s my granny,” she said after a couple of minutes. “She passed away this afternoon.”

  When it came to family, Shay didn’t have much of a relationship with any of hers. For the most part, she only had a distant relationship. She had no connection with other family members.

  The one exception was her grandmother, who’d she been very close to since she was a little baby. She referred to her grandma as granny.

  As her granny got older, most of the family members wrote her off as nothing but an old lady who was more of a nuisance than anything else.

  Shay never saw her that way.

  I tried to understand the pain she was feeling, but it was hard for me to do. I didn’t have any family to feel connected to and, judging by the pain in her eyes, I was glad I didn’t.

  At the same time, I knew how she felt about her grandma. She was a really cool person. Shay had taken me to visit her on a couple of occasions, and we had a blast. She was funny, and the stories she had about Shay when she was little were priceless.

  I hugged Shay tightly, trying to make her feel secure, and she squeezed me back even tighter. I knew that this was what she needed.

  She’s a strong, independent woman, but sometimes you just need another person there to let you know that you’re not alone in the world. I kept my arms around as she bawled into my chest. I played with her hair and whispered that things were going to be okay. She was going to be okay, and her grandmother was at peace.

  I was saying whatever I could to try to help, but I was positive my words were having little, if any, effect.

  “So what happened?” I asked once she had finally calmed down. “How did you find out?”

  “I got a call from my mom while I was at work today. Apparently Granny has been in the hospital for a couple weeks, and nobody bothered to call and tell me. She probably thought I didn’t care enough to be there with her,” she told me, her voice filled with anger and hurt at the same time.

  We spent the next few hours talking about her granny. Shay shared her favorite stories about her and what she was going to miss the most about her.

  Late into the night, she fell asleep in my arms. I didn’t want to leave her on the couch so I carried her into bed. Her eyes were so puffy, and her mouth was hanging open so she could breathe.

  I tucked her into bed and went into the kitchen, where I left a note on her table. I didn’t want her to think that I’d just left as soon as she fell asleep, but at the same time, I wanted to give her the privacy that I knew she needed while still letting her know that I was still there for her.

  Shay,

  I just want you to know that I’m here for you. If you need anything at all, please call me.

  Nick

  Chapter 14

  Shay

  I had no idea how long I’d been asleep but the sun was already shining through my window when I opened my eyes.

  At first, I freaked out, worrying about what time it was and hoping I wouldn’t be late for work. Soon enough, reality smacked me back to earth when I realized that I didn’t have to go to work. My granny was gone, and my boss had given me the day off.

  The night before was very much a blur. I knew Nick had been at my house, and I’d told him all about my granny. I didn’t tell him everything, though.

  I didn’t tell him that my granny had passed away several days earlier, and my own mother didn’t bother to tell me until after the funeral had already taken place. I never even had the chance to pay my last respects or even say goodbye.

  I was furious that nobody had the decency to call me and let me know she was sick so that I could visit with her before it was too late. The fact that nobody called me when she died was a slap in the face to me.

  In all reality, I shouldn’t have been surprised that my family would act like that. It’s like they get a kick out of hurting me or something.

  Putting those feelings aside, I couldn’t help but wonder how I’d gotten into bed. I didn’t remember getting sleepy, much less walking myself into my bedroom. I looked around, seeing if maybe Nick was still there somewhere but I didn’t see him, and I didn’t hear him moving around anywhere else in the apartment.

  I hadn’t been able to eat at all after hearing about my granny, and my stomach was rumbling. I still didn’t have much of an appetite but figured I better eat something. I wobbled into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes, which were still puffy from so much crying. On the kitchen table was a note from Nick.

  While I was cooking my scrambled eggs, I couldn’t get Nick off my mind. I thought about how he had insisted on coming into my apartment when I just wanted to be alone.

  I wanted to be angry at him for constantly being so bull-headed, but I knew that was just the type of person he was. Besides, having him over had ended up being a good thing.

  It was nice to have someone to cry to over losing my granny. It was also nice having someone to vent to about my mother.

  Having Nick there allowed me to cry and have someone there to hold me, telling me everything was going to be okay. Having him there also let me get my anger out, which is something I have a problem with. I usually let it fester inside of me until it eventually builds up so much that I feel like I’m going to break.

  None of these things did much to ease the pain that came along with losing my granny without getting to say goodbye, but it was nice to know that someone was there for me.

  I appreciated the fact that he had been such a gentleman to me. I was in such a vulnerable place that he may have found it easy to take advantage of me. Instead, he tucked me into bed and left me a note letting me know he was there if I needed him.

  I wanted to let him know how much I appreciated the gesture, but I didn’t want to tell him over the phone. I would go over there later that day and thank him in person.

  Nick

  I was sitting on my bed, looking at the pictures of Shay that I had hung on my bedroom wall. Anytime I started to miss her, I looked at her pictures and reminded myself that I needed to be patient and hope that she would recognize how much I loved her.

  I was deciding whether or not I should go over to her apartment to check on her when I heard someone knocking on my door. I jumped a bit, not expecting to have any company. I thought about ignoring it, hoping whoever it was would go away.

  In the neighborhood I live in, it’s not uncommon for random people to knock on your door for one reason or another. After another knock, I decided to answer it.

  When I opened the door, I was at a loss for words. Shay was standing on the other side. She looked beautiful. Once the surprise of seeing her there faded, I went into panic mode. Surely she would want to come inside.

  How was I going to explain the pictures of her that I’d hung up?

  “Hi,” Shay said shyly, not looking like she was all that sure about being there. “Sorry for just dropping by like this. I probably should have called first.”

  “That’s ridiculous. You’re fine. How are you?”

  “I’m okay, I guess. May I come in?”

&nbs
p; I looked back into my apartment, freaking out inside.

  “Of course. Come on in,” I told her.

  I smiled and opened the door so she could come in. I was so nervous. My stomach was in knots, and I was scared to how she was going to react to seeing her pictures.

  I knew it probably wasn’t going to go well even though I only put them up to look at when I felt lonely. What in the hell was I thinking having them up in the first place?

  Shay came in and started looking around. I’m not really sure what she was looking for. I don’t know that she was either. Finally, her gaze fell on my bedroom doorway. She had her back to me so I had no way to see her reaction but she walked slowly towards the wall, standing in front of it for a minute or two.

  Eventually, she turned back towards me. She didn’t look mad or upset at all. The photos didn’t seem to have any effect on her at all.

  “Yeah, about those. I can explain that,” I began to tell her before she held up a hand to stop me.

  “Nick, don’t even worry about it. I know you’re not some crazy psycho guy. You’re the most passionate man I know. You just show it in some pretty unconventional ways. I can’t hold any of that against you. It’s just who you are. Anyway, I wanted to come by and thank you for being there for me last night.”

  “Thank me for what? You don’t have anything to thank me for. I’m just doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t care what our official status is, I will always be there for you no matter what.”

  The sleep that she had gotten the night before had done her a world of good. She looked rested and didn’t look as though she’d been crying nearly as much.

  “So what’s going on with you tonight?” Shay asked after a couple of minutes of looking at each other, neither of us exactly sure what to say.