Loving Bad

by Regan Ure

  My brother called at seven that evening to tell me he was outside my dorm. I was starting to feel despondent because I hadn't heard anything from Sin. In my mind I came up with different excuses as to why he hadn't called me back yet, but they had all seemed weak. I walked out of the building to see my brother standing beside his car. My eyes narrowed at the thick brown folder he held in his hand.

  "Hi," I said cautiously as I looked at the offending folder in his hand.

  "Hi," he said, sounding resigned. He stood up and handed me the folder. "This is for you."

  "What is it?" I asked, but I already knew it was a background check.

  "It's a background check on Sin Carter," he answered, watching me for a response. I felt my temper spark to life. I didn't even have to ask how my brother had gotten his name. There weren't too many guys on campus who looked like Sin and if he asked around, someone would have given him a name. I knew my brother hadn't believed me when I'd told him I didn't know Sin. Lying had been a waste of time.

  "I don't want it," I insisted, shaking my head as I struggled to contain my anger and the blatant invasion into my life.

  "You need to read this," he insisted. "He is a bad guy and he isn't someone you should be around."

  I remained tight-lipped and silent.

  "I know you're old enough to make your own decisions. But make sure you know all the facts before you do," he argued.

  I couldn't wait to get rid of my meddling brother so after he handed me the folder and got into his car, I felt relieved. I was determined not to read it. I'd just taken it to get my brother off my back. Back in my room, Jordan arched a questioning eyebrow as I shoved the offending folder in the drawer of my small desk.

  "What was that?" she asked.

  "Nothing."

  It had been a constant battle to get my brother to stop interfering in my life and I wouldn't allow him to now. I couldn't stop him from doing a background check, but I didn't have to look at what he'd had found. The part that Sin played in my life was nobody's business but my own. I wasn't even sure he still wanted to play the part anymore after he'd seen me with my brother.

  I think he might have gotten the wrong idea. One of the rules of our arrangement had been that we were exclusive. I picked up my phone and couldn't stop the disappointment I felt when I saw I'd received no calls or text messages from Sin. Sighing, I dropped my phone back on the bed and rubbed my hands over my face.

  "You okay?" Jordan asked.

  "Yeah, I'm fine."

  I was determined not to allow my brother's surprise visit to cause havoc in my life. I loved my brother, but there were times I could happily wring his neck.

  That night, I couldn't sleep. I kept picturing Sin's expression when he saw me with my brother. I wanted to pretend nothing had happened and our arrangement was still intact.

  The next day, I went about my day feeling tired. I kept looking at my phone wishing it would ring and I had to stop myself a few times from dialing his number again.

  "What were you doing last night when you should have been sleeping?" asked Caleb in a teasing tone after our class. I suppressed a yawn as I walked beside him.

  "I wish it had been that exciting. Truth is I just couldn't sleep," I admitted with a shrug. There was no way I was going to tell him the truth.

  Friday night, Jordan told me we'd both been invited to another party at Slater's house. I had no idea how they could afford to throw a party nearly every single weekend. I wrestled with the fact that I still hadn't heard anything from Sin and I wasn't sure going to a party at his house was such a good idea.

  "Come on, you have to go," she tried to persuade me.

  If I went to the party and Sin was still trying to avoid me, it would be awkward and weird.

  "I can't," I replied, keeping to my decision not to run after Sin. I was sitting on my bed with a book open trying to get some studying in. The truth was I'd been looking at the same page for thirty minutes, but I hadn't been able to concentrate on it. Jordan looked disappointed.

  "Did something happen between you and Sin?" she asked. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see I'd been preoccupied for the last couple of days.

  "I'm not sure," I replied honestly with a shrug.

  "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

  "Not really," I answered. I didn't know if there was something wrong. It might have been just in my head.

  "How are you getting to the party?" I asked as I watched Jordan put the last touches on her makeup.

  "When I texted Slater to tell him you wouldn't be coming, he insisted on coming to pick me up," she revealed.

  I was relieved that I didn't have to worry about how she was going to get to the party. It wasn't safe to walk alone.

  Then I thought about the underwear on my bed. I wasn't even safe in my own room. Most people would probably be too scared to be on their own in a room that had been invaded by a stranger, but I'd experienced far worse than that and it took a lot to scare me. Besides, there were other girls in the dorm so I wasn't exactly alone.

  I was determined not to allow it to impede on my life. Twenty minutes later, Jordan said goodbye and hurried downstairs, leaving me on my own. I was dressed in a pair of old tracksuit pants and an oversized shirt that I'd swiped from my brother. It was old and even though it had a couple of holes in it I loved it. It was comfortable.

  After another ten minutes of trying to study and getting nowhere, I closed my book. There was no point in trying to study because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't concentrate. I took out my e-reader and began to look for something to read. I loved romance books. I settled on one I'd read countless times before.

  I'd just gotten a few pages in when I heard a soft knock against my door. I put my e-reader down beside my bed and went to answer the door. I hadn't been expecting anyone. A nervous feeling settled over me as I walked over to the door. If it were the same person who had broken into my room before, would they knock? I shook my head as I realized how ridiculous I was being.

  I opened the door. Sin was standing there with his hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans. He was dressed in his usual look, faded jeans and a plain shirt. I felt the flutter in my stomach at the sight of him. I hadn't expected to see him. The fact that he hadn't contacted me had spoken volumes. But him coming here put that whole theory up in the air.

  "I could have been a rapist or a murderer and you just opened the door without asking who it is," he lectured me with a crease in his forehead.

  "If it's my time to go it's my time to go," I replied. He studied me for a moment.

  "That is a strange outlook to have," he said.

  I shrugged. I wasn't going to explain why I had that outlook. We were exclusively having sex, we weren't seeing each other or dating. For a few awkward moments we stood silently.

  "Aren't you going to invite me in?" he asked.

  "Are you going to rape or murder me?" I asked in a teasing tone.

  "Not tonight," was his comeback. I stepped aside so he could enter and closed the door behind him. Suddenly I felt self-conscious in my comfy clothes. He looked around the room and turned to face me.

  "Why are you here?" I asked as I tucked a stray stand of hair behind my ear. His eyes held mine for a moment as I bit down on my bottom lip.

  "I was expecting you to come to the party with Jordan," he said. I wasn't going to explain to him why I hadn’t gone.

  "I wanted to talk to you," he said.

  "So when I didn't show, you came here?" I asked.

  "Yes," he said as he nodded his head. His tone was serious.

  Was what I'd expected for the last few days about to happen? He was going to break our arrangement and move onto someone else.

  I'd expected to feel a little hurt and for my confidence to take a slight dent, but I felt way more than that at the realization he was going to end things with me. As much as I'd tried to keep my heart out of this, I cared more than I wanted to admit even to myself and I wasn't ready to le
t go yet.

  "So talk," I instructed him as I crossed my arms. His tongue played with the one lip ring for a few moments as he studied me.

  "I wanted to apologize for the other day," he said, taking me by surprise. First off, I didn't see Sin as one to apologize and secondly, I had no idea why.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Taylor

  I remained quiet, waiting for him to continue.

  "I didn't mean to be so rough the other day in the janitor's closet," he began to say. I didn't remember rough sex; I remembered frantic earth-shattering sex. What had hurt me was the fact that he hadn't said a word and then he'd just left.

  "I liked it," I responded honestly. His nervous exterior evaporated and in its place was the confident bad-boy I was used to. He smirked at me.

  "I'll remember that," he said, sounding a little husky. His eyes dropped to my lips and then he pulled his gaze back to my eyes.

  Being under his intense gaze that seemed to pierce right through me, I swallowed hard. The air between us was charged with sexual tension. I wanted him and I knew he wanted me, but I wasn't ready to give in yet. He still had some explaining to do.

  "Why did you just leave without saying a word?" I asked. I didn't care if it made me sound like an emotional girl. It had hurt me and I wanted him to explain why he'd done that. He contemplated my question for a few minutes.

  "I'm very territorial," he began. "I don't like to see the girl I'm fucking being hit on by another guy."

  I had mixed feelings about his explanation. I knew the score and I knew that what we had wasn't based on feelings—it was based on a physical need for each other. But despite the fact that my mind accepted it, my heart hurt a little when he referred to me as the girl he was 'fucking.' That was one of the first signs that our arrangement was starting to mean more to me than it did to him. My mind was telling me to walk away before he had the power to cripple me with the heartbreak that was inevitable, but I just couldn't.

  "Caleb wasn't hitting on me," I replied. "He is just a friend."

  "Are you sure he knows that?" he asked me, looking skeptical.

  "Yes," I stated. Caleb would never be more than a friend whether Sin was in the picture or not.

  "Who was the other guy you were with?" The question came out of the blue.

  "He's my brother," I answered, watching him for a reaction but there wasn't one. "When we put rules in place for this arrangement, we both agreed that we would be exclusive."

  "I know, it's just like I said before...I'm territorial," he explained with a shrug of his shoulders. The way he said it made my stomach flutter at his possessiveness. There was something sexy about him feeling that way about me, even if it didn't involve actual feelings.

  "When I agreed to being exclusive, I meant it," I assured him. There was no way I would be fooling around with someone when I had Sin to take care of my needs. There would come a time when I'd need more than just sex and then I'd have to move on but, until then, I was going to enjoy what I had with Sin. He remained silent and gave me a brief nod.

  "Have you eaten yet?" he asked.

  I shook my head.

  "Do you want to go and get something to eat?" he asked, shocking me a little. Exclusive sex didn't involve going out and eating together.

  "It's just food, not a date," he assured me. My thoughts must have been evident on my face.

  "Sure," I agreed. I liked being around him, so why not? "I just need to get some other clothes on."

  He ran his eyes over my body.

  "You look fine," he replied.

  "I need five minutes," I told him, unconvinced that I looked 'fine.'

  "Meet me downstairs when you're ready," he instructed as he turned and left. I let out a nervous sigh as the door closed behind him. The room felt empty without his presence. I got dressed into a pair of jeans and a shirt. I slipped on a pair of sandals and ran a brush through my hair. There was no time to bother with makeup so I just put some lip-gloss on.

  Despite what he said about it not being a date, I couldn't help but feel nervous as I took the stairs. He was leaning against a smart-looking car when I exited the building. The car was some sort of expensive Jeep. I wasn't sure what type of model it was, but I knew it was expensive. I wondered where he got the money for it because he didn't seem like the typical rich kid. He opened the passenger side for me and I slid inside the car. The car smelled like leather inside.

  "I know a little place close by that makes killer burgers," he said as he got into the car.

  "Sounds good," I replied, fidgeting with my hands.

  Being with him made me feel nervous and aware of the effect that he had on me. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip as I remembered what he'd done to me in the janitor's closet. The car ride was fairly quiet and before I knew it he was pulling up in front of some old burger joint I'd never been to before. It looked a little run down. The sign above it looked like it had seen better days and only half of the name lit up. It was small inside with only a few tables and chairs.

  "It might not look like much, but they make the best burgers," he assured me as he helped me out of the passenger side by taking my hand. The small gesture made the butterflies in my stomach flutter with excitement.

  We walked in and gave our orders at the counter and Sin paid for the food. I hadn't expected that. Just before I'd left, I'd stuffed my phone and money into my back pocket. Sin held our drinks and straws in his hand as he walked to an empty table. It wasn't like the place was really busy. There were only two other people sitting at another table eating their burgers. I had to admit the burgers did look good.

  "So why did you decide to go to college?" he asked as we sat down at a table and he handed me my soda and opened up his.

  "It just seemed to be the next logical step," I said with a shrug. "What made you decide to go to college?"

  "I wanted to prove I could do it," he answered.

  "Who are you proving it to?" I asked the personal question not sure he would answer me.

  "Myself."

  "Why?" I asked the next logical question. He pressed his lips together for a moment.

  "It's a long story," he replied. In other words, he didn't want to talk about it. "I want to know more about you," he prompted, trying to steer the conversation back onto the subject of me.

  "What do you want to know?" I asked with a shrug. His question had made me a little apprehensive. It was the same feeling I got when people were prodding too close to the past that I didn't want to reveal.

  "Tell me about your family," he suggested as he fidgeted with the straw. I wanted to be able to tell him enough to keep his curiosity satisfied but not enough for me to be scared that he would look at me differently.

  "My parents are dead," I said without emotion. His eyes looked at me sympathetically.

  "That sucks," he said.

  "Yeah, it does," I agreed. "My brother Connor looked after me."

  That was about as much as I wanted to reveal.

  "How did your parents die?" He asked the question I'd been dreading. I didn't want to tell him the truth so my only alternative was to lie.

  "They died in a car accident," I lied effortlessly.

  "My father died," he stated out of the blue as his eyes dropped from mine to the straw he was still fidgeting with.

  "I'm sorry," I said automatically. It was what you said to people when they told you something like that.

  "It's okay—he was an asshole," he informed me as he met my gaze. There was a story behind that statement and I wasn't sure if he was ready to tell me yet. Sin seemed to tense once he'd mentioned his father.

  "So how long have you and Slater been friends?" I asked, trying to change the subject to lift his mood. At the mention of Slater, his mood changed and he smiled.

  "We used to live next door to each other and we've been friends from the time we could walk," he told me. I hadn't known them for that long, but I could see the type of friendship they had went deeper than a conventional friendship
. It was like they were family.

  "Do you have any siblings?" was my next question.

  "No, I'm an only child," he replied. My life would have been very different if I'd been an only child. As annoyed as I got with Connor's overprotective nature, I was glad I had him. Our burgers arrived and we began to eat.

  "Mmm," I sighed as I took a bite of the food. He was right, it was so good.

  "I told you," he said with a smile. Most of the time he was intense, but for those brief few minutes he was relaxed and easy-going. I liked to see this new side to him.

  He didn't seem to be the type to open up so the fact that he'd told me a few things about himself made me feel just a little bit closer to him. He seemed to be less the ‘hard bad-boy’ persona and more just a boy who had problems like everyone else.

  After we finished our burgers we walked back to his car. It had been a nice and unexpected evening. By the time we got back to the dorm, it was really late. He got out of his car and walked me to my dorm building. I was nervous because I wasn't sure what happened next. I turned to face him.

  "Thank you, that was nice," I said, thanking him for the non-date.

  "You're welcome," he said. The relaxed and easy-going Sin was gone. The intense bad-boy was back. I could see it in his eyes. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to stay.

  "Do you want...to come in?" I asked, nervously brushing my hair from my face. He stepped forward, putting his body so close to mine. I lifted my eyes up to his. His hand cupped the back of my head as he leaned forward and touched his lips to mine. My hands flattened against his chest as his tongue twirled against mine. He pulled away.

  "If I come in, we won't be talking," he murmured against my lips.

  "I know," I replied, wanting him just as much as he wanted me. I had no way of knowing if Jordan was still out or if she would be coming back to the dorm tonight.

  "I need to get something from my car."

  "I'll meet you upstairs," I said, feeling the flutter of butterflies. I was glad I'd have a few minutes to send Jordan a text message to let her know I was having company. He went back to his car as I entered the building.