Gangsta

by Foye, K'wan

  Satin popped some Chamomile tea in the microwave, and lit some scented candles. After her tea was done, she got into bed and tried to relax. Every time she tried to close her eyes she saw Lou-loc. When she inhaled, she smelt his cologne. When she touched her hand, she still felt his print. Satin had a problem, and she knew it. She was in love.

  CHAPTER 11

  Lou-loc was awakened at the crack of dawn by the phone ringing. He was dead tired from the night before, so he decided to let Martina's lazy ass get it. It was probably for her any how.

  He heard her mumble a groggy "hello" into the receiver. She sucked her teeth, and began to shake him. Who the fuck could it be calling him this early?

  "Who is it?" he asked annoyed.

  "Somebody named Tariq." she replied with attitude.

  For a moment, Lou-loc's still half asleep brain couldn't place the name. It was a familiar one, but he wasn't sure where he knew it from. As the fog began to clear, he recognized who the name belonged to. Tariq was the government of his partner Snake Eyes.

  "What it is, my nigga?" he asked sitting up right. "Shit, it's like three something in the morning back home. What gives, homey?"

  "Ay, what's up, cuz?" Snake Eyes replied. "I ain't home, I'm in New York."

  "New York?" Lou-loc asked surprised. "Fuck you doing here, and why you ain't call me to pick you up from the airport? Shit, I would've..."

  "Man, this ain't no social call," Snake Eyes interrupted, "we got a situation. These mother fuckers hit Gutter." Lou-loc could feel all of the blood drain form his face. He couldn't have just heard right. Gutter couldn't be dead.

  Fighting back the tears that were trying to make their way to the surface, Lou-loc spoke calmly into the phone. "This shit can't go down like this, Snake. My nigga dead?"

  "Nah," Snake Eyes said exhaling, "he still with us. The nigga ain't doing so good though. He was woke for a while, but they got him all doped up. He was asking for you though. How soon can you get here?"

  "I'm leaving as we speak. What hospital y'all in?"

  "Where else, nigga? Harlem."

  Lou-loc let out a slight chuckle, and hung up the phone.

  Martina was sitting up and looking at Lou-loc inquisitively. He knew she was wondering what was going on, but he ignored her.

  Lou-loc jumped into his clothes in record time, and was breaking for the door.

  "Baby," she called, "what's wrong, is Gutter okay?"

  "Nah," he said snatching his car keys from the dresser, "the nigga got shot."

  "Oh, my God. Is he okay?"

  "I don't know yet. I'm going to the hospital now."

  "You want me to go with you?" she asked getting out of bed.

  "Nah," he said waving her back down, "I'm going solo. I'll call you when I know something, boo. Go back to sleep and don't worry yourself." Without waiting for her to protest, as she surely would, he was out the door.

  ***

  Martina sat up in the bed not knowing what to make of the situ-

  ation. She was worried about Gutter. Even though she and Gutter didn't always see eye to eye, that was her man's best friend, so she too had love for him, and wouldn't wish harm on the brother. It could've just as easily been Lou-loc laid up in the hospital, or even worse, the morgue.

  With these thoughts in her mind, she began to reflect on the decisions she had forced Lou-loc to make to support their lifestyle. She began to wonder if having the finer things in life was worth her man's life, or her sanity. Suddenly the thought of Lou-loc getting out of the game and living a normal life with her and the kids didn't sound like such a bad idea.

  ***

  The hospital wasn't far from where Lou-loc lived, so he got there within minutes. He double parked on Lennox and rushed into the emergency room. After some quick questioning, he found out that Gutter was up in ICU, so that's where he needed to be.

  Five minutes and an elevator ride later, Lou-loc stepped out of the tiny car into the waiting area. Lou-loc detested hospitals.

  Ever since he watched his mother wither and die from cancer, they made him uneasy. To Lou-loc, hospitals stunk of death, a smell he was quite familiar with.

  Lou-loc looked around the tiny green room and looked amongst the different faces. People from all walks of life all gathered together for a common cause. Each and every one there because of a loved one, who was suffering.

  Lou-loc shook off his phobia, and strutted through the waiting area. After some searching, he spotted his partner, Snake Eyes, sitting in

  a corner chair reading a magazine. When he noticed Lou-loc coming his way, he stood up to greet his homey.

  "What it is, cuz," he said hugging Lou-loc, "glad Martina let you shake loose."

  "Fuck you, cuz," he said breaking the embrace, "I'm my own man. I do what I want. Plus that's my brother laid up in that piece."

  "Fo sho, cuz. But it's good to see you my nigga."

  "Snake man, why you ain't call me, and tell you was coming? I could've came and picked you up from the airport."

  "Nah," Snake said sitting back down, "I ain't fly, I drove. Shit, you can't take these on no plane." he said pulling his shirt up exposing the butt of his pistol. "And I brought 'Ruby' wit me." Lou-loc smiled and took the seat next to Snake Eyes. "You still rolling wit that raggedy ass Mac?"

  "Nigga," he said adjusting his cane, "call it what you want, but that 'Raggedy Ass Mac,' as you call it, saved the home boy."

  "Nigga, you still putting in work? I thought you was a square peg?"

  "Shit, I am. I just passed the bar. I was going to surprise you, ol' hood ass niggaz, and hip you to the fact that I'll be practic-ing law on the east coast."

  "Sho ya right, cuz," he said patting Snake Eyes on the back "I'm going to need a good lawyer at the rate I'm going."

  "Man, don't talk like that." Snake Eye's snapped. "You got a lot of shit wit you, cuz, you just gotta stop jamming ya self with this street shit. It's like my dad used to tell you, 'you a smart nigga, but you ain't got no common sense.'"

  "Yea, I remember. How's the old man?"

  "He a'ight. Semi-retired last year. Him and his girl moved out to the valley. Got a nice little house and a small legal con-sulting firm. They doing big things." Before they could roll into more detail about it, Sharell came

  out of the back. She was a pretty little brown thing. She was thick, yet she wasn't fat. It was all in the right places.

  "What's up, Lou-loc?" she said trying to sound strong. Lou-loc could tell from the way her eyes were red and puffed out, that she'd been crying. They didn't make girls like Sharell anymore. She went to church on Sundays, didn't run the streets or use foul language. All she wanted to do was please her man.

  "What up, girl," Lou-loc said holding her hand, "you a'ight?"

  "I'm cool." she said dabbing her eyes. "Tryin' to be strong."

  "I know that's right. How my boy?"

  "Doctors ain't really saying much. They saying it's too soon to tell. He's up now, but he's in a lot of pain. He told me to send you in when you got here."

  "A'ight, guess I'd better go check him then. You and Snake go on and relax, I'll be back."

  Lou-loc got up from his chair and made his way towards Gutter's room. The corridor to Gutter's room was a pale blue, lined with plain wooden doors. All of the doors were the same wood brown with cheap tin

  lining. The only distinctive features were the cold gray numbers etched on the outside.

  Lou-loc strolled through the hall peering into the various rooms inspecting the occupants. All of the patient's faces held the death mask Lou-loc had become so accustom to. Some would make it and others wouldn't. That was just the way shit worked in the hood, actually life in general was kinda like that, he reasoned. People were born just to die. Sometimes Lou-loc wondered, "What the fuck is the point?" Lou-loc stood outside of Gutter's room, opening and closing his hands. He constantly wiped his hands on his sweats, but the moisture never fled. For some reason, he couldn't shake the visions that were bombarding hi
m. They were visions of the time he spent in the hospital with his mother. Some of the patients harbored that same skeletal glare as she did towards the end.

  It was painful for Lou-loc to watch his mother waste away like that. After his father was murdered, she was the only person he and his sister had left. She did as best she could with her government checks, but they just weren't enough. That was one of the main reasons that Lou-loc started hustling. He had to man up, and hold his family down.

  Lou-loc stood in front of the door and tried to put on his game face. It was hard, but he knew he had to be strong for his brother and the set. When Lou-loc opened the door, he almost broke down at what he saw.

  Gutter was laid up in one of those cast iron type beds. There were bandages wrapped around his entire torso as well as one of his arms. He was hooked up to all kind of tubes and devices to monitor his vitals. To see this once proud warrior so helpless, brought a lone tear to Lou-loc's eye. Just as he was about to lose his nerve and back out, Gutter turned around to face him.

  "W-what up,... cuz?" he said in a groggy voice. "You... j-just gonna stand there, or come... holla at a nigga?" Lou-loc put on a false smile and took up a seat at Gutter's bed side. From this close, he got a better assessment of the dam-age. The would be hit men really did a number on Gutter. His face and arms were covered with bruises and scrapes from falling through the window. The bandages that covered his wounds were soaked through and caked with dried blood. The fucking nurses probably hadn't changed the dressing in a while.

  But that's how they do you when you don't have any insurance.

  Gutter noticed Lou-loc giving him the once over, and spoke up. "Fucking Brims... t-they really tried to do me in, cuz."

  "Muthafuckas can't fade you, G." he said patting his friend's hand. "They must ain't know you was invincible."

  Gutter tried to laugh, but broke out into a fit of coughing and drooling. Lou-loc took his hand and wiped his friend's chin.

  "Easy, soldier," Lou-loc said softly, "we need you healthy. We got big plans, you and me. You gonna fuck every thing up by dying, punk."

  Gutter regained his wind and began speaking again. "I...

  think it... was them LC niggaz, Cuz. Ain't sure... but think so. I thought... I-I recognized that kid, Scales... remember... from Harlem week... last year? They... done started... s-some shit, Lou."

  "I be knowin'." Lou-loc said. "It's going down. We gonna hit these faggots hard for what they done to you, cuz."

  "C-contract." Gutter coughed out.

  "Nah," Lou-loc shook his head, "I gots to be here wit my nigga. Fuck Anwar."

  Gutter gripped Lou-loc's arm so hard that he flinched.

  "Business,... cuz. You fill that contract... get the ball rolling. We gonna do the damn thing, cuz. Crips... stay true to the code. All debts... paid in full"

  Lou-loc started to protest, but when he saw the look in his friend's eyes he didn't. This was important to Gutter. Lou-loc wanted to believe that his friend would pull through, but in reality, it wasn't likely. The boy was in bad shape. If this was to be Gutter's last request, he would not be denied.

  Lou-loc's thoughts were interrupted when Gutter coughed out a word: "Freedom." He said it so low, that Lou-loc almost didn't catch it.

  "Freedom." Gutter said again. "When this... bull shit is done... you out." Lou-loc opened his mouth to say something, but Gutter waved him silent.

  "Look at me, cuz!" he snapped. "Them niggaz tried to take my... life. I-I ain't salty though. When you in the life... th-this kinda shit happens. I-I don't wanna die in some... funky ass hospital, but if I do... I'll accept it. But... I couldn't see you... like this. Imagine how I-I'd feel... escorting lil sis to ya funeral?"

  "You know, I ain't no coward." Lou-loc said sharply. "I'm always gonna be down for you and the set."

  "T-that's touching, cuz, and I respect that,... but let's be real.

  You... got a future in that writing shit. Don't waste... ya life. W-when I was stretched out...on that cold ass ground... bleeding...

  all over myself, it was a fucked up feeling... thinking... how I was gonna die alone... in the street. I don't want that for you.

  "Wh-when this is done... you're free of ya oath... and the bull shit that came with it. Take ya lil sis... raise up... better ya self, and teach her a different way of life."

  "And what about you, Gutter?" Lou-loc asked, with tears forming in his eyes. "What are you gonna do when you get out of here?"

  "You mean if," Gutter said with a smile. "You of all people know my style. I'm gonna get money or get murdered...ain't no gray area. Hopefully I'll make it outta here. If not, oh well. If Allah decides to call me home, I'm ready to go." Both of the men sat just staring at each other, neither saying a word. There was an unspoken understanding that passed between the two. Lou-loc had known Gutter for years, and for the first time, he saw something in his eyes that he had never seen before. Fear.

  Gutter finally broke the silence. "I gotta tell you something,... cuz. I was gonna surprise you...but I don't know if I'll get a chance to tell you later. I'm going to give you... an account number. It's some paper that I've been sitting on... I want you to take the money and..."

  Before Gutter could finish his sentence, he was overcome by a fit of coughing. He coughed until blood started spilling from his mouth, and soaking the sheets. Lou-loc not knowing what else to do, called for the nurse.

  The doctors and nurses started piling into the room with all types of equipment. They knocked Lou-loc to the side and began working on Gutter. Lou-loc just moved in a daze as the nurses ushered him into the hall so they'd have more room to work.

  Snake Eyes and Sharell met Lou-loc in the hallway. "Lou-loc, what's going on?" she asked with tears in her eyes. "Is Kenyatta okay?"

  Lou-loc just looked back and forth from her to Snake Eyes.

  He tried to form words, but his lips wouldn't cooperate. Finally he spoke.

  "Just try to stay calm, Sharell. The doctors are working on him. All we can do is wait."

  Sharell began to ball right there on the spot. Most of what she was saying was gibberish. She was just rocking back and forth rubbing the iced out cross Gutter had brought her for her birthday.

  With Snake Eyes' help, they got her to a chair and tried to calm her. The trio sat in the waiting area hoping the doctors would bring them some positive news. Martina was blowing up Lou-loc's pager, but he ignored it. He sat with his friend trying to be strong for Sharell.

  Finally, a thin balding doctor wearing blue scrubs came out of Gutter's room looking exhausted. "Who's here for Kenyatta Soladine?" he asked.

  Seeing that Sharell was in no condition to handle whatever news the doctor had, Lou-loc stepped to the plate.

  "That would be me." he said walking across the waiting area.

  Seeing the doctor's uneasiness at his gangsta ass apparel, he extended his hand and introduced himself. "I'm his brother, St.

  Louis Alexander."

  The doctor relaxed a little and spoke in a hushed tone that only Lou-loc could hear. "Your brother's not doing too good," he said wringing his hands together, "we've managed to stabilize him for the moment, but his vitals are very weak. You and your family are welcomed to stay, but there isn't much you can do for him at this point. My advice would be for you to all go home and get some rest, we'll call you should his condition change." Lou-loc thanked the doctor and made his way back over to Sharell and Snake Eyes. After speaking to the doctor, he felt a little better, but he knew Gutter wasn't out of the woods yet.

  Anything could happen. Snake Eyes and Sharell looked at Lou-loc with expectant eyes. He didn't want to alarm Sharell any further, so he figured he'd just tell her a half truth.

  "He's stable." Lou-loc said with a huff. "He's still real weak, so we can't see him anymore for a while. They got your number already, Sharell, and I gave them mine. They'll call us if anything changes."

  "Oh, praise God." Sharell said wiping her eyes. "I don't know what's wrong wit y'all, Lou-loc
. When y'all gonna get out of this life? It's all genocide." Lou-loc was in no mood to be lectured, but he understood that she was going through something so he tried not to be short with her when he spoke. "Listen, Sharell, I know you don't dig how we get down, but the ends justifies the means. We ain't trying to live like this forever, especially me.

  "We were just in there discussing the same thing. This life don't love us, and that's real. Everybody comes around in their own time."

  "I didn't mean to sound like I was screaming on you," she said composing herself, "I'm just scared. I mean, that's my heart laid up in there, I couldn't go on with out Ken. Lou-loc, you like my big brother. If anything were to happen to either one of y'all..."

  "Don't even think like that." he cut her off. "Me or that nigga in there ain't checking out no time soon. What kinda nigga would I be if I wasn't there to be best man at y'all wedding?" He pulled Sharell close and hugged her. "Quit that crying," he whispered in her ear, "everything gonna be blue. I'm gonna have Snake Eyes take you home while I go handle a few things."

  "Lou-loc, I know you. Just let it go," she pleaded, "hitting them is only gonna make it worse. Let it end with Kenyatta?"

  "Oh, nah," he said innocently, "I ain't on it like that. I just gotta go get my paper work right for school." he lied. "Go on and get the car while me and Snake Eyes get Gutter's personals." Sharell nodded and headed for the elevator. When she was out of ear shot Snake Eyes tapped Lou-loc.

  "What you scheming on, cuz?" he asked.

  "These niggaz gots to pay." Lou-loc said with ice in his voice.

  "These mother fuckers got themselves an ass hole full of trouble.

  I want you to go see 'Wiz' at the auto shop up on the point and tell him to get my toy ready. It's going to be a meeting tonight, then I got some shit to take care of."

  "You know I'm wit you, cuz."

  "Nay, brother. You ain't a combat soldier no more. Fall back and be there for Sharell."

  "Fuck what ya heard. That's my folks too laid up under the knife. I want in."