Gangsta

by Foye, K'wan

"Cisco," Hawk started, "even though Lou-loc is out here raising all types of hell, he's still an OG. A made man. If he happens to end up dead, and any one can trace it back to you, there's going to be some really unhappy campers out west."

  "I'm not worried. All I need is the support of my brothers on the matter."

  "I ain't touching that one." Ruby said flat out. "That kid is connected to some heavy weights. I heard a rumor that the big boys were talking about putting the hurt on whoever hit Gutter.

  The worst part is, our superiors ain't got a problem with it.

  "That shit y'all pulled was stupid. We've kept the peace with them boys for a while, and you fuck it up 'cause LC wanna be greedy. That was some dumb shit, Cisco."

  "What ever. LC will handle it."

  "You're right." Hawk said standing. "LC started this shit, so it's up to LC to finish it. No disrespect to you, El Diablo, but I feel that if we went with you on this, we would be dragging the bloods as a whole into this feud. It ain't worth the headaches or the casualties. I'm sure my fellow council members will agree with me on this one?" Everyone nodded their head in agreement.

  "Now that that's settled," Hawk continued, "I have a message from our friends of the U.B.N. I was told to deliver it to who ever was responsible for causing all this. The gist of it is, this thing will be settled quickly and quietly. If we can't settle it, then they will send someone who can. In short, gentlemen and lady.

  When this is all said and done, some of us will find ourselves out of a job and on a slab."

  CHAPTER 17

  Lou-loc sat on the passenger side of Satin's Jeep fuming. In his rage he'd almost forgotten that they'd rode her whip to Brooklyn.

  If he had actually stormed off during their fallout instead of listening, he'd probably had to hop in a taxi, if he was lucky enough to stop one.

  Satin clutched the steering wheel with both hands as she switched lanes without signaling. She kept one eye on the road and one eye on the bulge under Lou-loc's shirt. She wasn't scared, but she was still shaken a bit by the little encounter between Lou-loc and Jesus. Never before had she seen a man go off like that. He was like a wild animal, tearing into the trio. She wondered if she hadn't been there, would Lou-loc have spared Jesus?

  "So," Lou-loc said breaking her train of thought, "you said you wanted to explain, I'm still waiting?" Satin shifted in her seat and tried to find the right words; a way to explain the madness that was her life. If only he could look into her heart, all would be clear. She Loved this man, but didn't know how to express it.

  "Lou-loc," she said softly, "I really don't know what to say, so I'll just be honest with you."

  "That would be cool as hell, considering you been lying so far." he said sarcastically.

  "Lou-loc, please? This is hard enough for me without you making smart ass comments. Now I wanna tell you the real to real, but I ain't gotta kiss yo ass while I'm at it.

  "Now, as I was saying, it's true. Diablo and Jesus are both my brothers, but it's not like we're the Partridge family. None of us are that close. Until a few weeks ago, I hadn't seen Michael in years, then he just pops up, and all this shit starts happening.

  "Jesus, he's a good kid, but the streets have poisoned his mind. I'm afraid my baby brother has been lost to me for some time. Can't save every one, huh?

  "The only person I had in this world was my aunt Selina, God bless her. Then you came along, Lou-loc. You made me feel like it was alright to care about my happiness. I mean, look at me, gangs broke up my family, and my dumb ass has fallen for King Crip.

  "I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me? Lou-loc, the reason I didn't tell you, because I didn't want to run you off. I was feeling you, and I know you wouldn't have fucked with me if you knew who my peoples were.

  "What ever their hang ups are, that ain't got shit to do with what I feel for you, or what you feel for me. With us, it's deeper than a color, or a street. I don't fuck with bangers, but I see something more to you. You have a talent, and a choice. I might be wrong for not telling you, but I'm not sorry. If you decide that when we get back to your car it's a done deal, I'll accept it." Lou-loc spared a sideways glance in Satin's direction, and saw the tears stream down her face. Even without the steady flow of tears, he knew she was telling the truth. In his heart, he felt as if a weight had been lifted. He had only been with Satin for a short time, but he cared so much for her. Life without her in it was unfathomable. It was kismet.

  "Satin," he sighed, "try to understand where I'm coming from. We're at war with these mafuckas and I find out that they yo peoples, how am I supposed to feel? I told you what I just went through wit this bitch Martina, and yet you still holding

  back secrets? At this point in my life, I can't afford to have people keeping shit from me, especially the ones I love."

  "Lou-loc," she sobbed, "I know you love me, at least I hope you do, cause I damn sure got it bad for you. But if you truly love me, get out of the life?"

  Lou-loc pulled at his hair in frustration. "Satin, you know I can't just up and bounce. I got business I needs to handle. The set needs me right now."

  "The set?" she asked sorrowfully. "What about me, Lou-loc?

  I need you too."

  "I know, Satin, and I need you, but you gotta understand."

  "Lou-loc, the only thing that I understand is that you're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I know all about your unfinished business, Lou-loc. I just don't want the business to finish you.

  "What about going away, you remember that? You asked me if you could take me away, would I go. Yes, I'll go. I've got some money saved that I could put with whatever you have, and I could sell my jeep. We could just go away from here and never come back, okay?"

  "Satin," he said touching her cheek, "if only it were that simple. If I were to leave here now, there would be nobody to lead the set. With the way things have heated up over the last few weeks, that would be like leaving a pack of rabid dogs loose on time square. They'd run wild, and things would only get worse." Satin parked in front of her building behind Lou-loc's car.

  When Lou-loc reached for the door to get out, she grabbed his arm. "Lou-loc," she said wiping her eyes on her sleeve, "where is this relationship going? I mean, I've laid all my cards on the table, I've come clean with you about how I feel, but what have you given back? Where are we going with this, Lou-loc? If I'm setting myself up for a let down, tell me now, and we can go our separate ways?"

  "Satin," he said, sounding a bit frustrated, "why are you putting me through all this drama?"

  "Because," she said matching his attitude, "I want to know where I stand? Where we stand? In my heart, I know you're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, but how do you feel? You say you love me, but do you love me enough to get out of the life?"

  Lou-loc looked into her eyes to see if she was putting game on him, but she was dead serious. From the moment Lou-loc first laid eyes on this Latino beauty, he knew she was special. He knew that Satin was someone he wanted to know more intimate-ly, but he hadn't considered a life long commitment. He had only just begun thinking that far ahead with Martina, and that was after two years. Now here was this amazing woman, whom he had only known a little over a month, asking him to walk the path of eternity. At that moment, everything in Lou-loc's life became crystal clear to him. He knew what he had to do.

  "Listen, Satin," he began, "right now I can't promise you anything. Look, once I know Gutter's okay, I'll think about it. If he pulls through, fuck it, I'm getting tired of New York anyway. I hear Florida's nice?"

  "You mean it?" she asked smiling. "We can go?"

  "Satin, I'm not promising you anything, all I said was I'll think on it. You're my boo, and I love you. It took a while for me to recognize love when I saw it, but you taught me what to look for. I can bend on this one, boo. Just give me a few days to tie up some loose ends and we'll give some serious thought to our future. Now that we've applied for your subscription to 'Modern Bride,' I gotta a
move to make."

  "Lou-loc," she said stopping him short, "before you leave, there's something I have to give you."

  "Okay," he said shrugging his shoulders, "give it here."

  "I can't, it's upstairs."

  "Okay, but I gotta dip, so let's hurry."

  ***

  Lou-loc followed Satin into her loft apartment not suspecting a thing. Satin continued to play it off like nothing was up, but there was something definitely up. When they got inside she instructed Lou-loc to have a seat while she went and got his surprise from the bedroom.

  Lou-loc sat on the couch and thought about what his plans were for the future. He had been so caught up in all of the madness over the last few weeks, that he'd forgotten that he was the one who was supposed to be trying to get out of the life. It took a woman like Satin to remind him of where his priorities lay.

  "That Satin is one hell of a catch" he thought to himself.

  Definite wifey material. Sure, he was a little salty for her not being up front with him, but he wasn't actually as mad as he'd acted. He was more hurt than anything. But that was all behind him. Even though he had told Satin he would give it some thought, there was no doubt in his mind about leaving New York.

  He reflected on his life and how it would change now that he had Satin in it. One thing was for sure, he had to go legit.

  Satin wasn't trying to fuck with him if he was still banging, and he respected her for it. Shit, why bother with it? Its not like he had to hustle any more. Lou-loc was never a dumb kid. He always spread his money around wisely. He owned a barbecue joint in Carson that his aunt and uncle ran. It was mainly to make sure that his sister was taken care of and that they were compensated for their troubles. They never asked Lou-loc for anything, but he sent them a few dollars on a monthly basis.

  Unbeknownst to most people, with the exception of Snake Eyes and his father, Lou-loc had quite a bit of money tied up in legal businesses. In addition to his barbecue spot, Lou-loc was one of the financial backers in a hip hop clothing line. That alone would've put his sister through college, and still kept them well to do.

  Overall, his more modest source of legal income was probably security. Lou-loc was the silent partner/owner in a small security company on the west coast. "Blue Light Protective Services," not only provided security for the well off and wealthy, but they also provided services to the dealers who solicited them. Lou-loc understood the game, drug dealers don't have credit cards or checking accounts, so he let them pay cash.

  Sure, he jacked the price on them, but business was business.

  Lou-loc was also one of the few brothers who gave back to the hood. He would donate large sums of money to different charities and community organizations under assumed names.

  He didn't want the people's praises. He felt what he was doing was his responsibility considering he was one of the people helping pump drugs into the hood, and putting bodies on the slab.

  With all that Lou-loc had on the ball, he could've walked away from the game and never looked back. If most people knew the kind of bread Lou-loc was handling, they'd have called him a fool. He wasn't bill gates or even close, but he had more money than a lot of white folks in the game. With all that, Lou-loc still chose to live amongst the dealers and other parasites.

  After all, they were his people.

  After a few moments had gone by, Lou-loc began to get impatient. Satin had been gone about fifteen minutes and he was beginning to worry. Just as he got up from the couch to go check on her, Satin came out of the bedroom, and Lou-loc thought his heart would burst. He was prepared for anything except what he saw.

  Satin stepped into the living room wearing a sheer bathrobe that stopped above the knee. Beneath that, she was wearing a transparent gold teddy with the matching garter belt and stock-ings. When she moved towards him, her dark nipples seemed to be staring him down through the fabric. Lou-loc stood there slack-jawed and speechless, staring at the heart shaped muff of hair that became slightly visible as Satin placed one of her tone legs on the arm of the sofa.

  "Well," she said in a seductive tone. "You just gonna stare at me all day or what?"

  Lou-loc was too dumbfounded to say a word, so she took the initiative. Slow and gracefully Satin moved toward Lou-loc and pushed him back on the couch. She placed one leg on either side of him and slid down onto his lap, where she proceeded to grind back and forth.

  "St. Louis," she whispered, while nibbling his ear, "I want you to know how special you are to me. Am I special to you?" she asked while massaging his penis. All Lou-loc could do was nod his head in agreement. "Tell me!" she demanded.

  "Ooh, yea," he moaned, "you special, baby."

  "How special?"

  "Very."

  "Oh yea?" she teased while grinding harder. Lou-loc tried to be cool about it, but looking at her perfect body made him want to bust all in his boxers. Even though they had been seeing each other for a while, they hadn't had sex yet. That was the way she wanted it, and he really didn't mind. He could get sex from any bitch in the hood he chose, but with Satin, it wasn't about the sex. He loved who she was, and what she was about.

  "Lou-loc, baby," she said while licking his neck and lips, "I love you so much. I want to ask you something, baby, and please don't tell me no. You know how I hate rejection."

  "Anything." he panted.

  It was then that Satin did the unexpected. She reached behind her neck and let her hair down, but to Lou-loc's surprise, it wasn't a hair clip that was holding it up. Satin held in her hand a platinum men's wedding band. Crisscrossing all around the outside of the band were the prettiest blue diamonds. "Marry me?" she whispered.

  Lou-loc's eyes got as big as saucers, and as damp as a London street. He was so shocked, he wanted to break down and cry. But him being gangsta, he didn't.

  Satin asking Lou-loc to marry her caught him off guard. A woman asking a man to jump the broom wasn't the traditional way it went, but it was a new millennium, and women were bolder about the way they did things. Truth be told, Lou-loc had toyed with the idea of asking Satin what she thought about the idea, but he didn't want to sound like a corn-ball or anything. It was just a strange twist of fate that she sprung it on him first.

  "This what you want, baby?" he asked in his Billy D voice.

  "More than anything." she replied.

  "Then you got that." he said kissing her nose.

  Satin put Lou-loc in a bear hug that would rival even big Kiki's. When she had first purchased the ring a few days prior, she felt like she was playing herself. She had only known Lou-loc for a short time, but he felt right to her. Before dropping it on him, she feared that it would scare him off. She had been wanting to sleep with him, but she didn't want to be just another piece of ass. She wanted to take what they had to another level.

  The marriage proposal to him was the final test, and he passed with flying colors. If he had said no, she probably would've fucked him anyway, but after that, she would have kicked him to the curb. "Fuck it. Life goes on," she thought.

  A week ago, when the idea of proposing to Lou-loc first popped into her mind, she immediately asked her aunt Selina what she thought about the idea. Selina raised her frail frame in the cast iron hospital bed and looked at her favorite niece through her cloudy gray eyes. Even as an old woman, there was still something regal about her.

  Selina was once the object of many men's affections. Old

  age had stolen her beauty, and much of her health, but it couldn't rob her of her wisdom.

  "Marriage," she asked in a heavy Spanish accent, "how long ju know dees man?"

  "For a short time, Tia, but I know he's the one."

  "And how ju know dees, mees smarty pants?"

  "Because, my heart tells me so."

  "Good answer." Selina said patting Satin's hand. "Does dees man love ju as well?"

  "He says he does."

  "A man can tell ju any ting he wan, Satin. What he do to proof his words?"

  "Many things,
Tia. He's rearranging his whole life style to be with me, because it's what I want."

  "Mmm hmm." she said suspiciously. "More talk. What he do that mean something?"

  "He spared one of Jesus' stupid little friends, even after the boy shot at him."

  "Satin, ju would be with a man who bring death into the world?"

  "No, no, it's not like that. You see, Michael, and Jesus' people tried to kill his brother because they are from rival gangs, and..."

  "He es a gang meember?" she cut her off. "Ay, Satin, I did no raise ju to be stupid. Ju see what these gangs have done to your brothers, why you geet involved with these people?"

  "Tia, you don't understand. He is a gang member. That much is true, but he's not like the rest. He cares about life and about people. He's

  getting out of the life, so he and I can be together. He loves me, and I love him."

  For a long while Selina didn't say a word. She just sat there studying Satin. In her niece's eyes, she saw true love. "Satin," she finally said, "I know jour heart because I've helped you put it back together many a time, after it broken. I see ju really love dis man."

  "Oh, I do." Satin said excitedly. "I love him enough to marry him."

  "Now hold on," Selina said sternly, "ju moving kinda fast, no?"

  "No, Tia. I love this man and want to spend my life with him.

  He says he loves me also. Me asking him to marry me will be the final test of his loyalty. If he says yes, then even you can't deny that we were meant to be."

  "So ju say." Selina responded. "But what about him? Let heem tell me to my face that he love my niece as much as she love heem. When he come tell me, I know if es true." Satin's lips parted into a wide grin, exposing two rows of perfect white teeth. "I thought you might feel that way. Wait here for a second." Satin jumped up from the bed. After a few minutes, she came back into the room leading Lou-loc by the hand. "Tia, this is my friend, St. Louis."

  "Como esta usted, senora?" he said in perfect Spanish.

  "Buena." she responded. "I see ju speak Spanish?" she asked impressed.

  "Yes ma'am. In California it's a mandatory second language."