Gangsta

by Foye, K'wan

  Lou-loc had already tracked Sharell down at the hospital.

  Might as well kill two birds with one stone. He could tell Sharell what was up, and make his peace with Gutter.

  By the time Lou-loc made it to the hospital, the sun had set.

  Looking at the new evening made Lou-loc think about Cross. He wondered if he should track his friend down and tell him that he would be leaving soon. But fuck it, he still had a few days to say his goodbyes.

  As Lou-loc made his way through the hospital lobby, he tried to find the right words, but he couldn't. How do you tell your best friend, who happens to be in a coma, that you're leaving, and you'll probably never see him again? There was no easy way to say it. Lou-loc promised himself that no matter where he was, if Gutter came out of his coma, he'd be on the first thing smoking back to his friend's side. When he got off on Gutter's floor, Sharell greeted him with open arms.

  "Where you been, boy?" she asked giving him her Sunday service smile. "I ain't seen you in so long, I almost forgot what you looked like."

  "Ain't nothing, sis. I just been out trying to get my life together."

  "Oh yea? I hear that. So you and that fast ass Spanish chick finally parted company?"

  "Yea, how you know?"

  "Boy, you know Harlem ain't but so big. She was all out on the block cryin' and shit. She was talking bout how you left her for some square ass young girl."

  "Yea, that's my boo."

  "Mmm hmm."

  "What you mean by that?"

  "St. Louis Alexander, you in love?"

  "Girl, you know me better than that."

  "Yea, I know you, and that's why I said it. I knew from the first time you told me about her that she was something special.

  You know, I prayed on it for you, Lou-loc. I asked the lord to send you someone to set yo ass straight, and in comes miss Satin."

  "Yea, Sharell. Satin is all that. She opened my eyes to a lot of shit. I'm trying to find a way out of this hell without doing it the way I've been doing it. We've even talked about getting married."

  "Not you, mister player? Marriage so soon, she must've put that thang on you?"

  "Nah, it ain't even like that with us. I mean we did the do, but that was after I'd been with her for a while. She's a good girl, Sharell."

  "Praise the lord. I'm so happy for you, Lou-loc. You need a good woman in your life. But how do you plan on truly making this girl happy if you're still caught up in this madness?"

  "See," he said timidly, "that's kinda what I came to tell y'all.

  I'm getting out of New York. I'm getting out of New York, and out of the life. I'm done, Sharell. This shit is over for me. I'm just hoping you don't think I'm being a coward for leaving before my man wakes up?"

  Sharell's eyes welled up with tears. She rushed to Lou-loc, and embraced him. "Lou-loc," she said sobbing, "I would never think you a coward for trying to survive. This is what you've always wanted, and Kenyatta knew it. There ain't no shame in being tired. We all get that way if we go through enough. The important thing is you're getting out by choice instead of by bullets or bars."

  Hearing Sharell's approval of his decision made Lou-loc feel a little better. He had always had a lot of respect for her. She wasn't no hood bitch, yet she wasn't some stuck up chick either.

  She was just a young lady who had her shit together.

  "How's my boy?" Lou-loc asked.

  "Well it's hard to really say." Sharell said honestly. "Some days he's good, others not so good. The doctors say his condition is stabilizing, but he's still unconscious. I'm scared, Lou-loc.

  What if he doesn't wake up?"

  "Don't fret that," he said patting her hand, "that boy tough as they come. I've seen Ken pull himself out of more hellified shit than this. It's a small thing to a giant, ma. Bank on that one."

  "I hope so, Lou-loc."

  "So, how y'all doing as far as bread, honey?"

  "Oh, we straight. I got some dough in the bank, plus the money Ken got put up. Oh, and y'all friend Anwar is paying all of his medical bills. He said he's an old friend of the family." Lou-loc was surprised to hear Anwar's name. How the hell did he even know Gutter was shot up? Them Al Mukalla niggaz was something else. Didn't much of shit go down without them hearing about it. That was some real cool shit that Anwar was paying the bill. Maybe Lou-loc had misjudged the young prince?

  Well, he'd just have to thank Anwar for what he was doing. But there would be time enough for that later. Now he had to go in and see his friend.

  "Sharell," he said. "I'm gonna spend a few with the kid and get some things off my chest. Go on and get yaself a snack." He then handed her a fifty-dollar bill.

  "Okay, Lou-loc," she said accepting the money, "I'm gonna run down to Mc Donald's and snatch something up. I already know what you like, so I'll bring it up to you."

  As Sharell gathered her purse and made her way to the elevator, Lou-loc couldn't help but appreciate how much of a good women Gutter had on his side. Why couldn't he had hooked up with her instead of that bitch Martina? Oh well, at least she would see that his man was a'ight, and he had Satin in his corner, so they were both in good shape.

  Lou-loc made his way down the corridor trying to figure out what to say to his brother. It was best to just open his mouth and let the words flow freely. When he entered the room, he almost broke down.

  Gutter was laid out in that iron bed looking like death warmed over. There were tubes running in and out of damn near every hole in his body, and a machine helping him breathe. His beautiful dark skin was ashy and drawn in. His hair needed to be braided over, and he had lost quite a few pounds. This was not the man he knew.

  At first, he was mad at Cross. The man had the means to save Gutter, and did nothing. But once reason took over, Lou-loc realized there was no reason to be mad at his friend. It was not meant for man to play God. Cross was just playing his part in the natural scheme of things. To be upset with him was selfish.

  Lou-loc pulled up a chair beside his bed and took his friend's hand. "What up, cuz? This ya ace boon, Lou-loc. Man, so much shit been going on since you took ya little vacation. The Homies been putting in work like a mafucka. We done rode on damn near every blood set in New York. I found out them little marks that put the paper on you was from LC. I put the hurt in their leader's little brother, and two of his peoples.

  "I took care of that nigga, Born, cuz. In return, Anwar made good on his end, and knocked Scooby out the box. We set up the new spots out in Brooklyn, and, baby boy, the money is coming in. I got lil Boo and his peoples looking over shit out there cause that's where they peoples is from.

  "Peep the fly shit though, cuz? Remember that chick, Satin?

  That's El Diablo lil sister. Wait a second before you start preach-ing, she ain't on it like that. She don't fuck wit them niggaz. She ain't got nothing to do wit the life, she a good girl. That's my boo now, cuz. It's like you always said, that bitch Martina was dirty.

  Come to find out, she was fucking wit that lil slob, Mac. He ain't putting his lil dick in nothing no more though, cuz.

  "Guess I should get to the point though? Me and Satin, we in love, cuz. And it's the real thing. We even talked about getting married. I know it's sudden, but it's real, G. I'm getting out, cuz. I put in enough work and paid dues, it's a wrap for me.

  Them niggaz that tried to one you is dead and buried. We have established ourselves as a super power in Harlem, and everybody getting money. We good, cuz.

  "What I really want though, is ya blessing. I'm moving on, cuz. I'm gonna take Satin somewhere and square up. I know you're probably salty wit me, but you know this is how I want it.

  I've wanted out of this for a long time, and now I can get it.

  Maybe get a nice house somewhere, have a few brats, who the fuck knows?

  Lou-loc squeezed Gutter's hand. He tried to hold back his tears but failed miserably as he continued on.

  "Cuz," Lou-loc said sobbing, "I'm sorry for what happened to you. Lord kno
ws I am. If we could've traded places, it'd be me in this fucking meat factory. Before I can do what I need to do, cuz, I need to know we're square. I need to know you're okay with me leaving. Tell me something, cuz?" Just then, Lou-loc felt Gutter's hand twitch. It was a slight twitch, then pressure. Gutter was squeezing Lou-loc's hand telling him that all was well.

  Lou-loc's eyes began to well up with tears. He tried to fight them off, but it was no use. The tears flowed freely down Lou-loc's cheeks. He wasn't just crying for Gutter though. Lou-loc wept for many reasons. He cried for his father who was gunned down in a mall parking lot. He cried for Gutter's father, and

  grandfather, who died for what they believed in. He cried tears for every man he had ever murdered, and the mothers who had to bury their children. He cried for the youth and black America.

  ***

  As Lou-loc bowed over his friend crying, he was unaware of another watching, and shedding tears of its own. But these tears were different. These were tears of hatred, tears of vengeance.

  Tears that come of knowing what one must do, no matter how wrong. These were tears of blood.

  CHAPTER 19

  Satin was on top of the world. The evening breeze was warm on her face as she carried her small bag of groceries back to her loft. Hell, it could've been pouring rain and she wouldn't have cared. Her life was finally beginning to get better. She had been skeptical about coming at Lou-loc the way she did, but her forwardness had paid off. Once she found out that he felt the same way she did.

  It was like her aunt used to always say, "Love is an unpredictable thing. When in doubt, follow your heart." Those words rang true in her situation. She followed her heart and hit a home run. She knew she loved Lou-loc from the first time she laid eyes on him. Their hearts called to each other, and now they would become soul mates.

  Too bad for Martina. She felt kinda bad about going after him because he had a girl, but it wasn't her fault that the bitch was trifling. She shoulda kept a tighter hold on her man. Oh well, all's fair in love and war. She doubted that Martina would be a problem. Satin was a lady first and foremost, but if the bitch decided to get stupid, Satin had an ass whipping on hold for her.

  Satin's thoughts were interrupted when she saw Michael's car parked in front of her building. This drama she didn't need.

  She was a grown ass woman, and Michael could go fuck himself if he had a problem with her being with Lou-loc. Before she could get to the car, Michael hopped out and started towards her.

  "Satin," he snapped, "what the fuck is up with you?"

  "Nice to see you too, Michael." she said sarcastically.

  "Don't play with me, Satin. What's this I hear about you fucking this nigger from the other side?"

  "First of all," she said pointing her finger, "his name is Lou-loc. Second, he's not a nigger, he's a writer. And third, we're not just fucking, that's my man."

  "Your man? He's a killer. Lou-loc personally executed two of my peoples. Satin, how you gonna fuck with somebody that broke our little brothers jaw?"

  "Michael, please. Jesus brought that shit on himself. He started fucking with Lou-loc and got his little ass kicked. The only reason he didn't get himself buried was because of me. Lou-loc loves me, so he let Jesus live."

  "Loves you?" Michael said rolling his eyes. "You poor mis-guided child. He's just fucking you to get at me. This shit is like a fucking slap in the face. You know how stupid this has me looking amongst the other Blood Generals?"

  "Michael, you're making yourself look stupid pressing this shit. If you recall, Lou-loc and his peoples didn't start this shit?

  Y'all the ones that cast the first stone."

  "Satin, you don't know shit about shit as far as this goes."

  "Michael, don't play me, okay. You don't think I know it was LC who shot Gutter. Jesus already let the cat out of the bag. Shit, why you think he got his jaw broke?"

  "Damn, Satin. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were siding with them black bastards?"

  "Oh, please. You know I don't get down with that gang shit in no kinda way. All this sides shit don't mean nothing to me, so miss me with it. I could care less if the police killed or locked up

  every one of them dumb ass so called gangsters. For your information, he's getting out of the gang so we can be together. Lou-loc is my man, and that's just the way it is."

  "Ya man? Satin, that black son of a bitch don't love you. To him, you another notch on his belt. A fine ass piece of Spanish pussy." Michael didn't mean it like he said it, but it was too late to take it back.

  That last comment hurt Satin deeply. She and Michael had their differences, but he was still her brother. If anything, she wanted him to be happy. She didn't expect him to accept Lou-loc, but she wanted him to at least understand how she felt.

  "Fuck you, El Diablo." she said coldly. "I could give a fuck what you think."

  "Now you listen," he said grabbing her by the arm, "I'm your big brother, and I know what's best for you. I forbid you to see this 'spook' anymore. I forbid it." Satin threw her head back and burst out laughing. "You can't be serious. I'm not the little girl you remember asking for dollars.

  I'm grown, Michael. g-r-o-w-n, so you can bump your head with the dumb shit."

  Satin turned to walk away, but El Diablo wasn't done yet. He spun her around and slapped her across the face. Satin dropped her groceries and stood there in shock. Michael had never put his hands on her before, but there was a first time for everything.

  "Satin," he said reaching for her, "I... I'm sorry. I..." Before the words were out of his mouth, Satin had her gun drawn and aimed at his heart.

  "You dirty mother fucker." she hissed. "Ain't no man ever laid hands on me, not even our father. Let me tell you something, you dope peddling snake. I don't give a fuck what you say, this is my life. Lou-loc and me are going to be together, and that's a fact. Now if your small, racist brain can't accept that, oh fucking well. That's the way it is. And if you ever raise your fuck- ing hand to me again, I'll empty this clip in your worthless ass.

  Now can you dig that?" Before he could answer, Satin was strutting towards her building. Before she went through the lobby door, she took another jab at her brother. "The next time I have to pull a gun on you, it'll be to take your life. Satin disappeared into her building.

  Michael stood there at a loss for words. What the fuck was his family coming to? The same little girl he raised had just threatened to kill him. All he wanted to do was look out for his sister's feelings. There was no doubt in his mind as to whether or not his sister loved his rival. But did Lou-loc feel the same? El Diablo knew he had to bring some clarity to the situation, and quickly. This shit was getting out of hand.

  ***

  Cisco stood on the corner of 125th and Park under the Metro North station waiting for Tito to show up. The excitement had him so worked up that he wanted to jump up and down. El Diablo had called and told him about the altercation with Satin, and asked his opinion. Cisco played the role of the concerned counselor, but inwardly, he jumped for joy. The mighty El Diablo was playing right into his hands. Within the next day or so, he would be the sole controller of LC Blood. Before Cisco could fantasize further, his cell phone vibrated.

  "Hello?" he sang.

  "Cisco." said the seductive voice on the other end.

  "Martina, what a pleasant surprise." he lied. In all actuality, Cisco had no love for Martina. She was loose and had no loyalty. She would sell her mother out to the highest bidder. As foul as she might've been, he still needed her. She would be a key player in his scheme.

  "So, what the deal, mami?"

  "You know the deal," she quipped, "you got my paper?"

  "Listen, sweetheart. Don't put the cart before the horse.

  You'll get ya bread when the job is done."

  "I know you got me, Cisco. I just got shit I need to do, that's all."

  "Yea, me too."

  "Cisco, why don't you swing by my crib before you turn in for the night."
/>   "Oh yea, for what?"

  "Just to chill, you know? Gosh, a bitch can't just wanna hang for old time's sake?"

  "Yea right. Martina, I know you too well. You always got something up your sleeve."

  "Nah, it ain't even like that. But if one thing lead to another, you know?"

  Cisco couldn't help but to laugh. Here this bitch was pregnant as all hell, and still scheming on cock. Cisco and Martina had hooked up on occasion, but the way things stood, he wanted no part of her. The bitch was a stone snake that didn't have a preference about who she bit. If she was willing to cross a nigga she was supposed to love, imagine what the fuck kinda shit she would get him into? Cisco was arrogant, but he wasn't stupid.

  Martina was going on and on about the good times they used to have, but Cisco wasn't really listening. He was too pre-occupied with looking for Tito. Just as Cisco was about to bark Martina's head off, he spotted Tito coming down the steps from the Metro North.

  "Martina, baby," he said sweetly, "I gotta go handle something, and make sure everything is set for tomorrow. Make sure you handle your end. When you make all the arrangements, call me. You understand?" Before she could answer, he hung up the phone.

  "Damn," Tito said as he walked up, "these fucking people out here wanna overcharge you for everything."

  "Don't sweat it, my man," Cisco said good spiritedly, "it ain't ya bread. So we clear on what's up?"

  "Yea." Tito said while lighting a cigarette. "I got it."

  "Good, good. Make sure they make the train when it's done.

  Now for our other problem. Sometime tonight, our friend the giant is going to meet with an accident. Nothing serious, just enough to side line him. I'm gonna volunteer you to stand in as El Diablo's body guard. When he gets my call, you'll know what to do from there."

  "Damn, Cisco. You one cold mother fucker. I'm glad we on the same side."

  "Tito, you've kept it more than real with me from day one.

  Didn't I always tell you that I was gonna take care of you? Once I'm running the show, you'll be my number one."