Christmas with My Cowboy

by Diana Palmer

  Coming to a halt at the front of his log cabin, he parked and shut off the truck engine. After giving Kass one more glance, reassured she was still breathing and still unconscious, he hurried to the door of his cabin and flung it open. Hurriedly, he went back to the passenger side of the truck. Opening the door, he released the seat belt around Kass and gently eased her into his arms and against him. She was boneless.

  The first hard, almost icy snowflakes from the blue norther struck at his exposed face. It felt like sharp little knives hitting his flesh as he carried her from the truck. Travis knew these blizzards as well as anyone else who lived in frigid Wyoming. First, the hard, icy crystals, then later, a deluge of heavy, wet flakes that would swiftly coat the area in many feet of snow.

  The fury of this storm ate at him because he might have to try, despite the danger, to drive Kass to the hospital in Wind River.

  Shutting the truck door with the heel of his boot, Travis took her directly to his bedroom. Laying her gently on the bed, he formed the pillow beneath her neck to ensure her airway was kept open. As carefully as he could, he laid her out on the bed. Only then did he cross the living room and kitchen to shut the door and lock it.

  Walking quietly into the bedroom, he saw her thick, black lashes flutter. His heart bounded. Travis stood next to the bed, watching a pale pink flush begin to stain her cheeks. Kass was becoming conscious once again. But how conscious? He wanted to go to the bathroom and get a wet cloth and examine her head wound. That would have to wait. It was more important someone be with her if she awoke.

  Very slowly, her lashes lifted, revealing cloudy willow green eyes. She stared up at him, the silence deepening.

  “Kass? It’s Travis. You had a car accident.” He knew to speak in short, slow sentences because that’s all her rattled brain could absorb in its present state. Instantly, he saw her soft, winged eyebrows move and confusion enter her eyes as she tried to absorb what he’d just said.

  Travis leaned over her, pushing her black, slightly curled hair away from her left ear, revealing the cut she’d sustained. “Kass, you’ve been injured in a car accident. Can you hear me?”

  “Uh . . . where am I?”

  Hearing the increased bewilderment in her voice, he kept his hand on her shoulder, remaining where he was so she could look him fully in the eyes. He’d seen too much traumatic brain injury in other Marines in Afghanistan and recognized her state. “You’re safe. You’re going to be okay. Do you recognize me, Kass?” He squeezed her shoulder just a little, trying to get her to focus on him and on his question. She tried lifting her hand, not succeeding. Her slender hand fell against the white goose down comforter beneath her.

  Her brain had been scrambled but good and Travis sat down, gently capturing her hand lying across her belly. She wore a purple nylon hip-length down jacket. Beneath she wore a pink cowl-neck angora sweater. The black wool trousers only accentuated her long legs. Squeezing her fingers, he waited. Her pupils were large and black, thin green crescents surrounding them.

  He fought the urge to go get his small flashlight and pass the light across her eyes, hoping that both pupils would dilate in reaction. If they did, that was a good sign that she wasn’t badly injured. If one or both pupils didn’t dilate? That meant a trip to the hospital regardless of the storm danger because it meant Kass had sustained a serious brain injury. He didn’t want to go there, so he remained still, watching her.

  But first, Travis had to try and get Kass to recognize him, to help her understand she was in his cabin, not wanting to call it her home, because it really wasn’t. Travis pushed the errant thought aside.

  Kass was staring up at him now and he could see her trying to remember him. Puzzlement entered her expression. Travis felt her fingers tighten slightly around his for a moment. That was a good sign. At least there was trust between them.

  He removed his Stetson, setting it on the bedstand. Pushing his fingers through his dark brown hair, he tried to lighten his voice. “Kass? Do you recognize me now? Travis Grant.” The struggle in her eyes tore at him, and he held his breath. She had to know him! Fear wound through him. Because of his own medical training Travis knew if she didn’t, it meant either temporary amnesia, or worse, a brain injury. His fingers closed tenderly around hers. “Kass, you know me. We went to high school together. We were the best of friends . . .” And he choked back the rest—and we were in love, with so many dreams . . . but all of them are dead now because I killed them.

  Chapter Two

  Kass blinked slowly, assimilating the man’s low, gruff voice. She knew him, but her brain felt like it was in pieces, not whole or functioning properly. Her brows moved downward and she closed her eyes for a moment. His face flashed before hers from another time. It was Travis! Instantly, her lashes lifted.

  “Uh . . . where am I?” she managed, struggling to speak. It was a fight to put only a few words together. Instantly, she saw the stress in his expression dissolve. His pale blue eyes, which had always reminded her of a raptor on a hunt, filled with what she thought was happiness.

  “You’re safe. You’re going to be all right. Do you recognize me?”

  Kass felt his large hand covering her gloved one that lay across her belly. A warmth sheeted through her because now so much was downloading about Travis and herself from the past. She heard him call her name again, but the words he spoke jumbled briefly. All she could do was weakly squeeze his hand in return.

  Seeing the patience in his eyes, feeling his hand around hers was like being in one of the torrid dreams she had about Travis and herself. But this was real. Wasn’t it? It felt real. There was pain throbbing off and on in her head.

  “Take your time, Kass. You have a small head injury.” He lifted his hand away from hers, gently moving her hair aside. “There. I think the air bag deployed and it was one of those defective ones. You have about an inch cut in your scalp and it’s bleeding.”

  Feeling his finger trace near her injury, she became aware of it, felt the warm blood still trickling down from her temple. When he lifted his hand away, Travis enclosed her hand once more, and it meant everything to Kass. She tried to form more than one or two words. Why was it so hard to form a sentence and speak?

  More than anything, Travis was here, with her. She couldn’t remember how she got here. His hip was resting lightly against hers. She was in a bed, his, she guessed. The room didn’t look familiar to her.

  “W-where am I, Travis?” She felt relief that she could speak, even though her voice seemed like it was in a tunnel and there was an echo from it. Instantly, she saw his eyes narrow upon her, but they were filled with warmth and care. For her? He’d told her a year ago that there was nothing left between them. That he didn’t love her. She should go and find a whole man who could make her happy. All of that roared back to her as she clung to his narrowing gaze upon her. He continued to hold her hand, as if he knew she needed him as an anchor right now.

  “You’re in my cabin, Kass. Do you remember driving your car and spinning out on that black ice on Route 89?”

  Car. She was in a car? Why couldn’t she remember? “N-no . . . but how . . .”

  He shrugged his broad shoulders. “I don’t know where you were coming from, Kass. I was out in my furniture studio when I saw headlights spinning around in a circle on the highway in front of my house. I knew someone had spun out on the black ice. When I went to help, I found you. I brought you here to my cabin.”

  It took a good minute for her to process his explanation.

  “Listen,” he told her quietly, slowly enunciating his words, “I’m going to get my medical flashlight. I need to check your eyes out. I’ll be right back.”

  Just his hand leaving hers filled her with momentary panic. Kass watched him ease to his feet, turn, and walk out of the room. Looking around, Kass knew she was in a bedroom. Her head ached and she felt very tired. The thunk of his cowboy boots on the floor made her open her eyes. Travis was back with his flashlight. He sat down facing
her.

  Gently cupping her cheek, he said, “Kass? I’m going to slowly move the light across your eyes a couple of times. I need to see if your pupils dilate properly. Just stare into my eyes, okay?”

  Licking her lower lip, she whispered, “O-okay.” Travis gave her a kind look and she instantly relaxed. His palm was calloused, her skin prickling with unexpected pleasure over his intimacy with her. She was like a sponge, absorbing it eagerly. A memory flowed through her, of him telling her good-bye at the bus station as he left for Marine Corps boot camp. Along with that were a lot of old emotions she’d felt as he’d told her good-bye, given her one last kiss on the mouth, and then, he was gone.

  Travis moved the flashlight slowly back and forth across her eyes as she stared up at him. How much she still loved him! Heartache transcended the pain in her head. Relishing his hand on her jaw, having him keep contact with her was all that she wanted. Right now, she was highly emotional. Far more than usual. He said she had a head injury. Could that be why? Kass didn’t know. As he removed the flashlight and took his hand away from her jaw, she saw relief in his face.

  “Good news,” he told her, setting the flashlight on the bedstand. “Your eyes are equal and reactive. You don’t have a brain injury, Kass. I’m sure you’re feeling pretty scattered right now, but maybe in a few hours, you’ll feel more like your old self. May I tend to your injury here?” He pointed toward her left temple.

  “I remember,” she whispered.

  “What do you remember?”

  “Y-you were a medic . . .” She saw him give her a brief smile, his hand coming to rest once more on hers, giving it a squeeze.

  “Yeah, that’s right. I was a recon Marine and we all held an EMT certification. I’ll be right back, Kass. Just rest.”

  She closed her eyes, feeling better, warm and safe. She’d always felt protected when she was with Travis. So many memories were returning now . . . good ones, mostly. Their time together as children growing up and seeing each other in elementary school every day. Their playfulness. Their laughter. They were always being happy in one another’s company. That had never left her, she realized. Kass heard him enter and opened her eyes. She saw he carried a small first aid kit.

  As always, she realized just how handsome Travis was. He wore a red and black checked flannel shirt, the long sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows. The jeans fit him wonderfully and she enjoyed the play of light across his strong, impassive face. He wore that game face when he wanted to hide his feelings. Kass didn’t know where that awareness had come from, but it felt accurate to her.

  “I brought a bottle of water back,” he said. “Are you thirsty?”

  “No . . . not right now. My head really hurts, Travis.”

  “I’m sure it does,” he said, opening up the kit. “I’m going to clean your cut and stop the bleeding. Scalp wounds always bleed a lot, but you won’t lose much blood, so don’t worry.” He tucked a large dressing beneath her left ear. “This won’t take long,” he promised.

  “Can I close my eyes?”

  “Sure. Are you tired? Want to sleep?”

  “I just feel . . . washed out . . .”

  “Understandable,” he said, pulling on a pair of latex gloves. “You got jostled around when your car spun out of control. And you either hit your head on the side of the window or a piece of metal exploded from the air bag when it deployed, and cut you here.” He gently used gauze to daub away the blood.

  “I don’t remember.”

  “You will, in time. For now? You’re in a warm, safe place and I’m going to take care of you.”

  Closing her eyes, she focused on his fingers moving her hair aside to closely examine her injury. Travis was incredibly gentle, the pain seeming to reduce as he quickly cleaned up the area of the injury, placed antibiotic ointment across it and then a small dressing.

  Hungrily, Kass enjoyed his touch. How badly she needed Travis! The ache in her heart had never gone away since he told her to find another man. A “whole man,” whatever that meant. All of that grief and hurt gripped her heart once more. And here she was, with a man who no longer loved her. What kind of karma did she have?

  Kass was unable to fight her need of Travis or his masculine nearness. He worked quickly, efficiently, and he was done much sooner than she wanted. His touch was balm to her aching heart.

  “There,” Travis murmured, pleased, “all done. How do you feel now?”

  Opening her eyes, Kass felt her throat tighten, watching him remove the latex gloves and put everything neatly back into the first aid kit sitting on the bedstand. “Okay,” she answered, her voice strained. And then he turned, easing strands of her hair away from where he’d bandaged the cut. Her scalp prickled with pleasure. How much she needed his contact right now because hot tears were pressing into the backs of her eyes.

  “It’s probably going to take a day or two for you to really start feeling normal, Kass. Are you warm enough here? Or would you like something to eat? Drink?”

  This was the first time she was experiencing Travis Grant after returning from the Marine Corps. He’d been so abrupt and cold to her at the Wind River Ranch when she’d heard he was finally home for good. She’d driven out there with her heart pounding with joy, finally able to see him and tell him how much she still loved him. Kass knew it was a long shot to hope that their love had survived the years he had been in the Marines. Once Travis left the valley for the military, she very seldom heard from him. That told her a lot, but she didn’t want to believe it. There was nothing left between them.

  More anguish drifted through her as she saw him tidy up the medical kit and close it. This was the old Travis she knew in high school: caring, sensitive, and able to reach out and help others. Not the gruff, iconic wrangler at the Wind River Ranch from a year earlier, who rebuffed her and told her to walk out of his life forever. That there was nothing left between them.

  Kass had been abandoned shortly after birth, the unknown mother placing her at the doorstep to the Wind River Valley Fire Department office doorstep. Luckily, it was July and warm. A firefighter coming on duty discovered her and brought her inside, immediately calling the hospital. In the meantime, their paramedics made sure she was okay, and she was. Kass had no memory of any of that time, of course. Her adoptive parents, Marshall and Jade Murphy, had smothered her with love. She grew up with a family who wanted her. But when they told her, when she was fourteen years old, that she had been adopted, that no one knew about her mother, it had devastated Kass’s world.

  It had been quiet, sensitive Travis Grant who had held her as she cried after that. He tried to ease some of her pain by listening to her after her sobs lessened. He had been her stanchion from the time she entered the first grade. Kass was sure she’d fallen in love with him even then, although at age six she knew she wasn’t mature enough to realize much of anything. Only that she liked him.

  Travis had been drawn to her just as powerfully, and they’d been the best of friends. It was in high school that their love first expressed itself. Travis didn’t care if she’d been abandoned by her real mother. He pointed out that Jade and Marshall loved her with all their hearts, and she was wanted by them. Travis had always been the voice of reason when she, so overly emotional on this topic, felt adrift and alone. Travis always made her feel wanted. So did her adoptive parents, but in a different way. Kass never pooh-poohed her parents’ love for her. They’d given her everything she needed, but the hole in her heart from learning that her biological mother walked away from her had never healed.

  And when Travis came home from the Marine Corps and confronted her, told her that he didn’t love her anymore, that hole in heart had grown even larger. She’d struggled this last year, throwing herself into more work with her restaurant than ever before, trying to forget him. But she couldn’t. It was impossible.

  And now? She was lying in Travis’s bed. In his home. Her brain was coming back online now and she remembered the car she was driving and how in
less than a split second it had spun out of control on the unseen black ice. And then she’d lost consciousness.

  Frowning, she watched Travis get up.

  “You okay here by yourself? I have some work to attend to out in my woodworking studio. I can come in and check on you in about an hour.”

  “Go ahead,” she whispered, fighting back tears. “You have your life. I don’t want to interfere in it.” She saw him frown, giving her a hard look, open his mouth to say something, then think better of it and close it. “I’ll be okay. I can take care of myself, Travis.”

  Kass didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. After all, Travis had rescued her from death. Every year in Wyoming, people died out in the middle of nowhere during the winter, hypothermia killing them before anyone knew they needed help and rescue. “I’m feeling pretty up and down right now,” she offered.

  “Yeah, a bruised brain will do that to you, Kass. I’m sure you’re going to feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster for a while. I’ll come in and check on you. Okay? I don’t mind doing it.”

  She saw the softening in his expression, regret, she thought, in his blue eyes as he stood there studying her. His voice, too, wasn’t gruff and hard, either. Not like that morning when he told her he didn’t love her and to leave. Swallowing, she gave a slow nod, because to move her head fast made her dizzy for a moment. “That’s fine. Thank you.”

  Kass watched him start to leave, then he hesitated and turned his head, holding her gaze.

  “Listen, if you need anything? I’m just outside the front door, in the barn. My furniture studio is in there and that’s where I’ll be working.”