Christmas with My Cowboy

by Diana Palmer

  Kass saw the surprise and then the joy in his face as her mother hugged him hard. His arms came forward and he gently hugged her in return.

  “You’re welcome,” he managed, his voice off key as they separated.

  Jade shook her head. “And you’ve fixed my rocker, too? I get this wonderful bouquet and my rocker back all in one day?”

  He gave her a bashful grin. “Yes, you do. It is Christmas, after all.”

  Chapter Eight

  Kass stood back as Travis carried out her mother’s rocker. He’d thoughtfully placed a big floppy red bow on top of it, giving it a Christmassy look. She saw her mother’s face glow with delight as he brought it over and set it in the place where it had been for as long as she could remember.

  Jade moved her work-worn hands reverently across the top of the rocker and then one hand on each arm. She murmured with delight, pleased, and Travis colored as he stood nearby. Plainly nervous, Kass could see the anxiety in his eyes as her mother moved her hands over her beloved rocker. She knew how badly he wanted to please her. Jade turned and again hugged the daylights out of Travis. He turned a deeper red in the cheeks, but there was a look of relief in his face, too. Kass grinned. This was good for Travis to be encircled by loving women.

  She stood near the tree. “I have a small gift for you, Travis,” she called as Jade finished hugging him and led him toward the tree.

  “Oh?”

  Smiling, Kass heard the surprise in his voice. She leaned down and retrieved the package that had a silver bow on it and placed it in his hands. “It’s not on the scale of Mom’s rocker looking like new, but I thought you might be able to use this.” Her fingers touched his, and never had she felt so happy as she did making contact with him once more. She saw his Adam’s apple bob and felt his emotions rising even though he tried to appear cool and calm as he carefully held the bulky gift between his hands.

  “Sit on the couch, Travis,” Jade invited. “Kass worked hard on that gift she’s giving you. I’ll go make us some fresh coffee and we’ll chat a bit after you open it up.”

  Taking her suggestion, Travis looked over at Kass, “Only if you sit with me while I open it.”

  “Wouldn’t have it any other way. Come on.”

  In moments, they’d sat down. Travis placed the lumpy gift on his lap. “What is it?” he coaxed her, pulling off the ribbon.

  Snorting, Kass said, “Open and find out, big guy.” She warmed beneath his shy grin.

  “I didn’t expect this, Kass. You shouldn’t have. You work so hard anyway. I don’t know how you could find time.”

  Shrugging, she said, “I’d do it on breaks at the café. No worries.” A thread of anxiety moved through her. Would Travis like her gift? He tore off the paper, revealing the dark blue knit scarf. His hand stilled over it and she saw satisfaction come to his expression. He picked it up, feeling the weight and softness of the yarn.

  “How did you know my old muffler was wearing out?”

  “No secret to that one. In the five days I spent with you, I saw you wear it a lot. There were holes in it. It was worn out, Travis.” She gestured to the gift. “I measured it one afternoon when you were out in the studio, and this one is the same width and length as your old one.”

  Nodding, he said, “This is the perfect gift for me, Kass. I like ones that you can use, that are practical.” He set it on his lap, lifted his right hand, and pulled her gently toward him. “Thank you,” he rasped, and then kissed her gently on the mouth.

  Kass had closed her eyes, not expecting his kiss, but it served to once more show his thoughtfulness. A perfect rejoinder to the happiness she’d seen in his eyes. Travis understood how busy she was and that she’d taken the time from her own demanding schedule to think of him. As their mouths left one another, she whispered, “Thank you . . . that’s the best gift I could have ever received from you.” She didn’t want him to remove his hand, but he did. Her mother was in the kitchen and he was being circumspect because he was in her house. Kass was pretty sure that her mother knew how much she loved Travis. She’d told her mother about spending those five days at the cabin with Travis. Kass didn’t swerve from telling her the truth: He brought her joy, rekindling the fires of her love for him to bright, burning life.

  Travis set the scarf aside and stood up. “Do me a favor?”

  “Sure. What?”

  “Just sit there for a moment? Close your eyes. I have a gift for you, too.”

  “Really?” Kass gasped, staring at him. He gave her such a confident male smile that she burst out laughing. “You sneak! You had a gift for me all along? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because,” he said, “I wanted to surprise you. Now, just sit there and I’ll be back in a minute.”

  Kass could barely sit still. She heard her mother come into the living room. Setting the tray down, she placed steaming mugs of coffee on the coffee table in front of the couch.

  “Close your eyes, Kass,” she chided, smiling as she straightened.

  “Oh . . . right.” She quickly scrunched them closed. When Travis returned to the room, her mother made a sound of surprise and pleasure.

  “Oh, Kass!” Jade whispered. “Oh, oh this is such a beautiful gift, Travis!”

  Kass almost opened her eyes. She knotted her hands in her lap, sitting straight up, barely able to remain still. What was it?

  “Okay,” Travis said, “Merry Christmas, Kass. You can open your eyes now.”

  He stood back, watching Kass’s face as she saw the Windsor rocker with a huge red and green bow atop the rail. She gasped and shot to her feet, her hands flying to her opened mouth, eyes huge with shock.

  For a moment, he wasn’t sure what she was going to do: yell, scream, cry, or maybe do all three. Huge tears formed in her eyes as she stared at the beautiful rocker.

  “Where,” she managed to croak, forcing herself to move around the coffee table to where the rocker sat in the center of the room.

  “It’s English oak. About twenty feet of the tree was found in a bog in England. The color is black because it’s been buried in that peat bog for thousands of years. I traded some South American wood a carpenter friend of mine wanted. He was the one that found this bog oak. It’s very, very rare wood.”

  Kass reached out as if dazed, her fingertips barely gliding across the shining black wood. “H-how did you know, Travis?” And then she choked, tears running down her face. Turning, she stared at him, at a loss for words, the tension swirling powerfully between them.

  “Remember our conversation about Jade’s rocker at the cabin? That you had daydreams about having a Windsor rocker just like hers? And when you had a baby, you said you wanted to rock her or him in your own special rocker, just as Jade rocked you in hers.” His throat tightened. “I wanted to make part of your dream come true for you, Kass. I know you love the color black, so after you left, I made a call to my friend in England.” He made a weak gesture toward the shining ebony rocker. “I wanted to give you a gift filled with hope because that’s what you’ve done for me when you were with me those five days. You made me realize I was living half a life until you got dropped in on me.”

  Kass turned, opening her arms, flying into his embrace. She made a soft, sobbing sound, arms tightening around him, her head nestled beneath his chin.

  Stunned by her move, Travis saw Jade’s face crumple with tears of happiness, her hands clasped between her breasts. How badly he wanted to hold Kass tightly, hold her forever. Leaning down, he pressed several small kisses to her soft, silky hair. “It’s all right, Kass . . . it’s all right . . .” he said, his voice going low with emotion, feeling her shake, feeling her arms so tight around him, making him so damned happy he didn’t know what to do. He held Kass, rocking her a little in his arms, and she finally stopped crying and eased away from him just enough to look up into his eyes. Her gaze was dark green with dappled gold in their depths that took his breath away.

  “Thank you,” she quavered, lifting her hand, gra
zing her fingertips against his cheek and jawline. “You gave me a future gift.”

  Travis had no idea what she meant by a “future” gift. He managed an unsure smile, sliding his hand across her shining mass of black hair. “It can be whatever you want it to be, Kass. It will last as long as you live and then some. Maybe you can pass it on to the next generation.” He lifted his head, looking toward Jade’s rocker near the tree. “It will easily outlast your mother’s rocker. Being nearly fossilized, the wood isn’t going to wear out or wear down.”

  “My forever rocker,” Kass murmured, cupping his cheek. She leaned up, brushing his mouth with a kiss. “This is the first morning of the rest of my life,” she said in a rasp.

  * * *

  “Come home and stay with me,” Kass entreated Travis after she said good-bye to her mother and they left for the day, taking the stairs down the sidewalk. He was holding her hand and it felt so good. Already, Travis had placed the bog oak rocker into his van and tied it down to take it to her house.

  Travis nearly missed a step when she’d asked him that. Sliding his hand beneath her, he slowed, holding her upturned gaze. “How do you mean that, Kass? Do you want me to stay and have dinner with you tonight?”

  “No. I mean stay with me until tomorrow morning. Until I have to leave for work.”

  Travis halted and stared at her. He tightened his grip around her elbow just slightly. “You sure about this?”

  “Never more sure.” She saw his lips twitch, that hunger mixed with amusement come to his eyes as he considered her bold request.

  “Am I going to be your Christmas gift?” he teased, giving her a playful look.

  “Oh yes. And I’m going to be yours, too. It’s time, Travis. How long have we waited? How many years? Aren’t you tired of waiting? I am.”

  He resumed walking her to her pickup on the other side of where his van was parked. “I came to that conclusion a few weeks ago. I was damned lonely, Kass. I have never felt as bereft as after you left. I felt like I was living half a life again.”

  “Me too.” She halted at her car. “Follow me home?”

  Opening the door for her, he said, “I’ll follow you anywhere you want to go from now on.”

  It took all of ten minutes for Kass to drive to the south end of Wind River and turn into her icy driveway. Her small twelve-hundred-square-foot white home with dark green shutters had its roof still spotted with lingering patches of snow. There was a two-car garage, and she hit the door opener and then drove in. It was wide enough for Travis and his van.

  Her heart was pounding with anticipation. She was shaken by the gift he’d given her. She’d expected nothing and yet, he’d given her something so utterly meaningful to her that it felt like an avalanche of fierce love.

  Or maybe a wall that had stood between them for all those years had finally tumbled down, leaving an opening in her heart to love Travis with all of herself in every way. That was what Kass wanted. This was a magical day and she’d surprised herself at her boldness with him, letting him know in no uncertain terms that she was ready for him to walk back into her life. Forever, if she had anything to say about it. All she needed to hear from him was that he wanted the same thing she wanted: a forever relationship between the two of them.

  The sunlight was in the south, the rays bright, but the day was below freezing, so Kass didn’t feel any warmth from it. She opened the door to her home and Travis carefully eased the ebony rocker inside. Leading him through the kitchen, she guided him to the open concept living room.

  “I think the rocker would look nice in that corner,” she said, pointing to near where the decorated Christmas tree stood. It wasn’t a very tall one, just about four feet in height, but she’d lovingly decorated it last week. There was no way Kass was ever going to miss this wonderful holiday. She watched Travis nod and then gently place it nearby. “It looks perfect there,” she murmured, meeting his gaze, feeling his need of her in every possible way.

  Holding out her hand, she whispered, “Come with me? Come sit down? We need to lay our cards out on the table for one another, Travis.” She saw him give her an intense look and then he came forward, pulling her hand into his.

  “Yes, we need to talk first,” he agreed.

  Kass curled up in the corner of the couch, her legs tucked beneath her. Travis sat such that her knees rested upon his hard, curved thigh. He reached behind her shoulders, his arm settling around them, drawing her close to him. It felt wonderful to cuddle with him, as if she were in some kind of unfolding dream that would never end.

  Sighing, she laid her head on his broad shoulder, sliding her arm around his torso. “I never stopped loving you, Travis,” she began in a low voice fraught with feeling. “After you left for the Marine Corps, I ached with grief and loss. And over time, I began to realize when you left our valley, you left me for good, too.”

  He made an inarticulate sound, drawing her more deeply against him. “That isn’t true, Kass. It isn’t . . .”

  “Shhh, let me finish, all right? You need to know where I was at. How I felt about you being gone.” She rolled her head just enough to catch the anguish in his eyes as he stared down at her. “I finally let you go, Travis, because it was obvious to me the relationship we’d had as children, teens, was over. I grieved a lot, but the funny thing? My heart just wouldn’t give you up and let you go. And although I met some nice guys, none of them stacked up to you, who you were, your kindness and unselfishness that you gave me. They just weren’t you.” She sat up and turned, holding his sorrowful gaze. “And then when I heard through the grapevine that you’d come home, I was overwhelmed with joy. I got up my nerve to go see you, to really find out if it was finished between us.” Turning away, her voice halting, she forced out, “And when I did? You told me to leave, that there was nothing between us. I felt as if you’d plunged a sword through my heart.”

  Travis winced but held her gaze, his mouth tight and tense.

  “And then, this crazy, unforeseen accident,” she said, shaking her head. “Crazy. But good. When I realized it was you, my heart dropped to my feet. I knew you didn’t want to see me ever again, Travis. But your voice filled with so much care and urgency, the way you cared for me said something completely different. I was shaken and my brain was addled, and maybe that was good because I got to see the real you and how much you honestly cared for me even though you’d never admit it.”

  Opening her hand, she placed it over his heart. “Those five days were a gift for me, Travis. It showed me you still loved me. I couldn’t figure out why you’d pushed me away when every time our eyes met, or you spoke, I could feel your love flowing through to me. I could feel it. I finally decided that something was standing between us. I didn’t know what, but I knew you knew. I was hoping, after I left, that you’d drop back into my life, and you did. When you showed up at the café, I nearly buckled with joy. I wanted to cry with relief because I could see that same look in your eyes when you brought me home. You didn’t want to leave me. I saw it. You never said it, but I felt it. And that gave me hope that we could have some kind of breakthrough with one another to meet on common ground, and knock down that thing that stood invisibly between us.”

  She gave him a softened look, moving her hand up his chest, caressing his shoulder. “And then giving me this beautiful black rocker? If I had any doubts about how you really felt toward me, they were all laid to rest this morning. I know you made that rocker by hand. I know how you work. And I’m sure you put in many hours on each piece of it, fashioning it carefully, bringing out the beauty of that incredible buried tree. To think it had fallen and lay in that peat bog for thousands of years made me think of us, of how much it symbolized what we’ve been through.”

  She saw him blink, questions in his eyes.

  “The tree stood for a long time above ground, flourishing, growing, being beautiful, and feeling the sunshine and weather upon its leaves. That symbolically reminded me of us growing up together in the sunlight of o
ne another, feeding and loving to be together. And then that mighty English oak was felled, maybe by a bolt of lightning, much like you suddenly leaving me. I felt like lightning had struck me and I was dazed and in shock by it all. And then the tree fell, buried in darkness, cold and alone, no longer fed and nourished by the sunlight and weather it loved so much.” She offered him a sweet smile and with a graceful gesture pointed to the rocker in the corner.

  “The tree was resurrected, pulled out of the peat bog, rediscovered, the man caring for it, sending the slabs of wood to you to refashion and bring to life once more. And look at it now. See how the sunlight is falling around it? It’s once again aboveground, nourished, being fed, loved, and cared for.” She compressed her lips for a moment, searching for the right words. Lifting her chin, she met and held Travis’s gaze. “We rediscovered one another when that accident happened. You pulled me out of the cold, dark ground and resurrected my love for you, Travis. You gave me the sunlight of your care, your heart, and you fed my soul. You fed me hope that our love wasn’t really destroyed. It was cyclical like this English oak’s life, and we paralleled it in a symbolic sense.”

  Lifting upward, she placed her lips against the tight, hard line of his mouth, feeling the chaos of grief, sadness, and so many other wild emotions he barely was able to control. She kissed him gently, letting him know that it was all right. Everything was all right. And feeling his mouth relax, open, and then hungrily take hers, an explosion of unfettered joy erupted through every cell of her being. He brought his arms around her, easing her across his lap, deep into his embrace, his mouth warm, coaxing and feeding her his love once again.

  Kass lost track of time, her arms entwined around his neck, the front of her body pressed tightly against his, feeling the thudding beat of both their hearts banging in unison against one another. She understood Travis was a man and they never had flowery words to describe how they felt emotionally. But he was speaking another language to her, one that was so pure and physical that she could never again question his love for her. He held her reverently, adored her lips, groaned with pleasure as she eagerly responded to his feeding her heart and soul with such hungry, needy abandon because she felt the same way.