by Amity Cross
“He’s a smart dog,” he drawled. “I’m sure he’d like a bit of sausage.”
I snorted and rubbed my eyes, still not strong enough to look at the man who’d stolen my heart. Was this how Mum felt when she met Dad all those years ago at the Bluesfest? I wished she was around to ask.
“Juniper, I came back to apologise,” Sebastian said. “I was wrong.”
“A man admitting he was wrong? Witchcraft,” Vanessa scoffed and pointed at Sebastian. “Ziggy. Go for the cock. Go for the cock.” The little Jack Russell stared up at her and tilted his head back and forth, listening to her commands but not following. “You’re hopeless.”
“I haven’t done this before,” Sebastian began.
“What? Grovel?” I rolled my eyes. Could you get eye strain from doing that? Sure felt like it.
He took a step towards me. “Juniper, look at me.” I couldn’t. “I know you didn’t tip of the paparazzi. Robbo did.”
“Robbo?” Vanessa exclaimed.
I slapped my palm against my forehead. Great.
“Juniper, I need to explain a few things to you,” he went on. “But not on the street. Can we go inside?”
“No!” Vanessa shouted, still trying to protect my virtue.
“Stop,” I said, holding up my hand.
Gathering my courage, I looked at Sebastian for the first time since he’d shown up. He looked strung-out and on edge, his eyes full of desperation. My fingers ached, and I curled my hands into tight fists, my nails biting into my skin.
I knew who he was now and tasted him on my tongue, but the way I gravitated towards him simply by looking at the man was terrifying. It was magnetic. Could I walk away from it, knowing how rare that kind of feeling was? People went their whole lives and never found serenity, let alone love.
“Come in,” I said much to Vanessa’s disapproval.
Sebastian stepped into the Page Break and I shot her a look. She pouted and stuck her nose into the air before dragging Ziggy down the footpath.
Sighing, I turned and closed the door, shutting out the cold. Sebastian’s aura filled the space, drawing me ever closer.
“You’re selling?” He glanced at me and I shrugged.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fair enough. I wouldn’t want to talk to me about it, either.”
I bit my bottom lips and glanced at the poster behind the counter. The one my mum had saved from the first ever Byron Bay Bluesfest. The same festival where she’d met my dad. I had to believe the things I’d told Sebastian. We weren’t our parents. I wasn’t my mother, and he wasn’t the reincarnation of my bloody father, either.
“Why did you say those things?” I asked, my chest bursting. “I was real the entire time. I was honest about things. I came to you about that tabloid because I was worried they’d find you and the shit would hit the fan. I never thought about the money. Not really.”
“I know,” he whispered.
He knew, but what had I done wrong?
“What did I do?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
My knees wobbled, and I leaned against the counter to steady myself.
“I overreacted,” Sebastian said. “I jumped to conclusions and lashed out at you.”
“Why did you even bother coming back?” Tears misted my eyes, but my anger was hotter than my broken heart. “If I was just another throw away fuck, then I shouldn’t matter. It isn’t like your reputation can’t handle another angry woman.”
“Because, up until that moment, I told you the truth,” he said, closing the gap between us. “Everything I told you was real. Everything I feel for you is real. I was just... I saw that guy with his fucking camera and I let my fear overrule my heart.”
I wanted to believe him, but there were still doubts in my mind. Our lives were just too different and at some point, something had to give.
“Juniper, you terrify me.”
I froze. “What?”
“Everything about you—about the things we’re doing—it terrifies me. I’ve never had this.” His fingers grazed mine. “I don’t know what to do.”
“You think I do?” I scoffed and snatched my hand away. “It took a lot for me to let you in. It isn’t a rock-star-specific problem, you know.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know how else to show it to you. Right now, both our lives are...”
He didn’t seem to know how to finish his thought, so I punctuated it for him. “Fucked?”
Sebastian snorted and raked his fingers through his hair. “Something like that.”
“So what do we do, Sebastian?” I looked at him for an answer I knew he didn’t have. “Do we end this, or—”
“No,” he interrupted. “You forgive me for being a twat, then we try again.”
“Try? How about starting with telling me why you disappeared in the first place. A little honesty might help.”
“And maybe you should tell me about your financial problems,” he fired back.
I grimaced and lowered my gaze. “I didn’t... I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”
“About?”
“You and me. I know how these things work, but for a moment, I forgot about all my problems,” I murmured, my cheeks heating. “I want to be special. I...” I was floundering and sounded like a clingy crackpot.
“You are special, Juniper.”
“I’m a nobody.”
“You’re a somebody to me.”
Sebastian pulled me into his arms and this time, I didn’t swat him away. I melted into his embrace and breathed in his scent, clinging to the lapels of his jacket.
“Vix,” he began. “She’s Beneath’s road manager. She found me.”
“Oh...” So he had to go back. It was inevitable, but it didn’t stop it from stinging. The more we talked, the more confused I became. “Did you want to fix things before you left or something?”
“Yes and no,” he replied, his fingers caressing through my hair. “I have a contract. If I break it, they can destroy me.”
“So you have to go.”
“There’s a concert in Melbourne in two weeks,” he went on. “If I’m not there—”
“You don’t sound thrilled about it,” I muttered.
“You want to know why I cut out?” He pulled back. “I knew the label had been doing dodgy shit behind out backs, but it wasn’t until recently I knew how much was staged. They’d been pulling our strings all these years, and I didn’t even know it. They’ve manipulated all of us from day one. It’s gotten to the point I don’t even know who I am anymore. Problem is, I’m the only one who gives a shit.”
“You’re famous now,” I said. “Fight back.”
“I don’t have an army of lawyers on retainer.”
I didn’t know what he wanted me to say.
“Rock ‘n’ roll will save your life... but the fame will kill you.”
Was it really that bad? I stared at him, puzzling out his words, trying to see through all the smoke and mirrors. The shell wasn’t the man inside. Maybe I’d caught glimpses, but not even Sebastian seemed to know who he was.
“Juniper,” he swallowed hard, his gaze falling to my lips, “please forgive me. My life is a fucking hurricane, but you... you’re the eye of the storm. With you I can be still while the world rages around us. For a moment, I caught a glimpse of the man I could be, the man I want to be. You showed him to me.”
He pressed his forehead against mine, his stormy eyes searching mine for an answer. Even after the things he’d said to me, I was powerless to resist. I’d become entangled with this enigmatic man, consequences be damned.
I brushed my lips over his and it was all it took to spark him to life. He speared his fingers into my hair and took my mouth in a hungry kiss, sweeping his tongue against mine. His taste was heady and his closeness was almost too much to bare. My nipples ached and my clit throbbed as we entwined.
“Seb...” My palms scratched over his stubble, and his hands moved down my back and cupped m
y arse, holding me tight.
“The more I think about it, the more I think you’re the link, Juni.” He called me Juni…
“God, is this what it’s going to be like?” I asked through a moan.
“Which part?” His lips moved to the soft skin underneath my ear.
“All of it.”
“Some of it, yeah.” He kissed me softly. “The other parts of it, I hope not.”
“What do we do?” I whispered, cupping the back of his neck. “I’ve gone through life having to look after everyone else, but I don’t know how to look after myself.”
“We’ve got a little time,” he replied returning his gaze to mine. “We can hang out here and do the getting to know you part. You tell me your favourite things and your life story, and I’ll tell you mine. Nothing’s off limits.”
“You want to know all my hopes and dreams?” I raised my eyebrows. It was so not a bad boy rock star thing to say.
“Yeah.”
“In two weeks?” I couldn’t fathom it, but then again, I’d fallen hard for the guy in the space of two seconds flat. Maybe it wasn’t such a crazy notion.
“Yeah,” he said again.
“Last time we were together, we didn’t get out of bed for three days.”
“I know.” Sebastian smirked and tightened his grip on my arse.
“I’m still sore.”
“I can give you a massage.”
“Sebastian.”
He chuckled softly, his hands moving to my lower back. “Does this mean you forgive me?”
I nodded. He had me hook, line, and fucked up sinker. “Shit, yes.”
I pressed my palm against his chest before he could catch me in another kiss. “Be careful, Sebastian,” I warned. “If you screw up again, you’ll have Ziggy to contend with.”
He threw his head back and let out a deep laugh that shook his chest. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
16
Sebastian
When I fucked Juniper that night after a breathless walk on the beach, it was better than the first time. I didn’t know what it was about make-up sex, but it trumped just about everything. Then she’d sucked me awake.
Juniper Rowe, huh? Thinking back to that first day on the beach, I smiled. Who would’ve thought all that was underneath that jacket and foul mouth.
Outside, the sun was rising. Staring at the ceiling of her apartment, I felt the warmth of her body as she coiled it around mine. Naked in bed was fast becoming my favourite place to be with her. Hell, I’d take just being with her, too.
“If you need cash to keep the shop open, I’ll give it to you,” I said, the thought bypassing my brain and going straight to my mouth.
She didn’t reply straight away, and my heart began to beat double-time. It was the exact same thing I’d blasted her about the other day and here I was practically throwing hundred-dollar bills at her face.
“No,” she said, filling the silence, “I couldn’t.”
“Well, I’m offering. No strings.”
“I can’t take money from you, Sebastian.”
“Why not?” I narrowed my eyes. Wasn’t my cash good enough for her?
“You’d be bailing out a dying business,” she said, her gaze fixed on the ceiling. “It’s a bad investment.”
“If it’s what you love, then there’s nothing bad about it.”
“If I can’t turn a profit, it doesn’t matter how much I care about it,” she argued. “What about your band? In the early days, were you making money?”
I snorted and shook my head. “Nah. We made CDs on Damon’s computer and sold them for five bucks a hit. We broke even for those. Most times we were paid in beer, or enough to cover the petrol in Josh’s beat-up van.”
“Breaking even is better than losing cash. You had no overheads. I need a better business model.”
“Seems you know a thing or two about management,” I said. “The offer is still there if you want it.”
Her brow creased and she looked at me. “I can’t take your money. I won’t.”
“Okay,” I whispered, holding her close. I could respect her conviction. When it came to business, it was difficult to separate the personal from the professional. I supposed that was my problem, too. “What do you think you’ll do?”
“I don’t know. I’m still waiting on the figures from Mrs. Hopkins.”
“The real estate lady?”
“Yeah.”
I could see the worry in her eyes. The uncertainty over her future was eating at her from the inside out. I knew what I had to do—well, what I was contracted to do—but Juniper’s future was wide open. The Page Break and her mother had been her entire life, but without it, I didn’t think she knew who she wanted to be.
“Come to Melbourne with me,” I said, my heart sparking with hope. “Come to the concert, see what I do, then we can decide.”
“We can decide?”
“I want to make this work, Juniper. You and me. I want to see where it goes.” I brushed my hand over the curve of her waist, relishing the shiver that ran down her spine from my touch. She was fucking perfect. Perfect and pure.
“I don’t know,” she murmured. “Maybe your life is too big for me to handle. I mean, screaming fans? I live in a town of one hundred people.”
“Give it a try,” I urged. “You don’t know until you see with your own eyes, right?”
“I suppose...”
She still sounded uncertain, so I went for broke. “You could come on tour and see the world.”
Her eyes lit up and she bit her bottom lip. She did that a lot.
“I always wanted to see Paris,” she murmured.
“Then I’ll take you. I haven’t seen it, either.”
“You haven’t seen Paris?”
“Well, I’ve seen concert venues and hotel rooms.”
“That’s criminal.”
A grin pulled at my lips and I caught her in a kiss. I could feel her smile fade against my mouth and I pulled back.
“I can’t afford... I—”
“Don’t think about the money,” I whispered. “Let me take care of you for a change.”
“Sebastian—”
“Shh. What’s the point of having all this money if I can’t spend it on the people I care about?”
Her breath caught, and I coaxed her onto her back.
“Will you come?” I asked.
“Yes.”
I slipped my hand between her thighs and caressed her soft skin, dipping a finger inside her. She gasped and spread her legs wider, and I plunged deeper, rubbing slow circles over her clit.
“Where else do you want to go?” I murmured into her ear as she began to moan. “Your wish is my command.”
The beach house was cold and dark when I walked in the front door.
Juniper wanted to spend as much time at her place as possible. Considering everything, I agreed to stay with her until we went back to the city. It seemed pointless to keep renting this big place if no one was going to be in it.
Yeah, she was coming to the concert at Festival Hall with me. She was going to dip her toe into the chaos that the Beneath juggernaut created. She wanted to see how deep our feelings ran just as much as I did. Juniper had taken my hand and we were leaping.
Life seemed within my grasp again.
The moment my phone connected to the WiFi, it began to beep as messages started scrolling down the screen. There were multiple texts from Josh, Damon, and Vix. Emails and photos, too. They couldn’t leave me alone for half a day, could they?
I opened Josh’s messages with a frustrated sigh. Reading through them, my frustration turned to anger with each one.
Heads up, arsehole.
They’ve found you.
Have you seen this?
He’d attached a paparazzi photo of me on the beach, and normally I’d be whatever about it, but Juniper was in it. Her arm was threaded through mine and her free hand was clutching Ziggy’s lead. Josh had taken a picture of a magazine p
age, so the caption was clear at the bottom. Sebastian Hale and his new mystery girlfriend.
Shit, shit, shit!
Just as I was about to find his number, Josh’s name flashed on the screen as an incoming call and I answered it immediately. “When was this published?”
“Hello to you, too,” he grumbled. “It was on the stand this morning. Hot off the presses.”
“Fuck.” They worked fast. We’d only taken Ziggy for a walk last night, and besides, Vix had assured me she’d plugged the leak. I’d never have taken Juniper out if I’d known more paps were lurking.
“Are you playing house with your pussy now?” Josh asked with a snort. “Talking long walks on the beach with a girl and her fucking dog? Have you lost your balls?”
“Don’t,” I snapped.
“You need to get out of there while the going’s good, man. The paps will probably be outside your door and hers in the next half hour.”
“I thought Vix stopped it,” I said, peering out the windows. I couldn’t see anyone on the bluff or the cliffside path, but that didn’t mean any photographers weren’t lingering. They could probably see me through the floor-to-ceiling windows from underneath their camouflage nets.
“Who knows. You know what these guys are like. They smell cash in the water and it’s a free for all. Anyway, we need you back in rehearsals like yesterday.”
“I told Vix I’d be back in time for the concert.”
“Yeah, on your own terms, you selfish prick. We’ve been friends a long time, Seb. Sometimes I’d even go as far as calling you my brother from another mother, but right now, I’d gladly see the back end of you.”
“Josh.”
“I know you want to take your fucking stand and protest or whatever it is you’re doing, but you not being here hurts all of us. Take one for the team, Seb.”
“I can’t leave Juniper. She doesn’t know how to handle this stuff.” They’d dissect her life, drag up painful memories of the past, splash it across the headlines, and eat her alive. Dealing with that kind of poison was my every day life, but she wasn’t like me. She was a small-town woman with a pure heart. She’d be obliterated if I didn’t do something.
“Don’t worry about her, man,” Josh said with a sigh. “What did you think was going to happen with her anyway? Were you going to fall in love and run away?”