Two Days in Biarritz

by Michelle Jackson

  The doorbell rang and she turned sharply, anxious to answer it.

  “Is that Shane at the door?” her mother called.

  “Yes, I’ll get him to say hello when we get back!” Kate hollered, running down the stairs.

  This was Kate and Shane time and she didn’t want to share him with anyone else.

  She pulled back the door and he looked even better than the last time he had called. He was wearing a checked shirt that made him look broader than usual.

  “Hi, Kate,” he smiled.

  “Stay where you are,” she whispered. “I’m getting my bag.”

  She returned in an instant.

  “Bye, Mum!” she called and was gone before Betty had a chance to answer.

  “You brought the weather with you from France,” Shane remarked.

  “It has been nice, hasn’t it?” Kate stalled for a moment. “Do you fancy taking a stroll down Dollymount Strand?”

  Shane visibly flinched as she said it. “We had some good times down there, hadn’t we?”

  “Like the time you saved my life!” Kate teased.

  Shane’s agitated expression told her to stop the charade. “I love winding you up – sorry, Shane.”

  He smiled. He could never stay cross with her for long. “Hey, I’ve a bottle of vino in the car – will we take it with us?” Shane suggested.

  “Yeah, and we can take the car over the wooden bridge and leave it by the statue,” Kate said with a nod.

  Shane parked the BMW by a bank of rocks and they braced themselves before facing the brisk wind that rose from the shoreline.

  “God, it’s so beautiful here,” she sighed.

  “I love this time of year as much as the summer,” Shane agreed.

  Kate looked at him from under her fringe. “I appreciate it here now – more than all those years ago. We grew up in a lovely place.”

  “I still find it hard to get used to the south side to be honest. Natasha’s the southsider.” He sounded doleful.

  “She wouldn’t move?”

  He shook his head. “Her folks live around the corner from us and she keeps harping on about how handy it will be when we start a family.”

  Kate was jolted by his words. “I didn’t realise . . . I mean, of course you must be trying for a family.” Kate felt a hard lump build in her throat as she uttered the words.

  “I shouldn’t really be talking about it but we are meant to be . . .” he paused, “trying! God, I hate that expression!”

  “So you both want this?”

  “She’s dead keen but I’m still getting my head around the idea. It’s strange but I always thought it would feel different when you decided you were going to start a family. I have to think of her and her needs though.”

  “And what about your needs Shane, it’s a big step and childrearing should not to be jumped into lightly.” She could see the concern etched all over his face.

  ”I mean, we are married long enough now, she’s thirty-two and under pressure I guess!”

  “I didn’t realise she was that much younger.” Kate felt a wave of jealousy sweep over her.

  “She might as well be twenty-two at times, I swear!” He stopped when he realised he was saying too much. “So, on a lighter note, what did you get for your birthday?”

  The day had come and gone, and apart from a stripy top from Gloria and the promise of a gift from her sons she had nothing to show for it.

  “It was a difficult day actually . . .” She paused.

  “I’m sorry, Kate, I forgot . . . with your mum coming home from hospital and all that.”

  “It’s okay,” she said with a shake of her head. “Actually, I did get a tattoo when I was in Biarritz!”

  “Can you show it to me? I mean it’s not on your right nipple or anywhere like that, is it?”

  Kate gave him a playful thump on his upper arm. “It’s on my inner ankle.”

  “Let’s see,” he urged.

  Kate reached down and unzipped her ankle boot. She balanced precariously on one foot with her tattooed leg raised off the ground as she slid down the sock until the flesh underneath was bare.

  “The Third Eye!” he exclaimed.

  “Well done!” Kate applauded. “I’m impressed that you recognise it. Annabel got it in the same place.”

  “I don’t believe it! You got her to get a tattoo!” His expression showed his surprise. “How is she?”

  “We . . eh, had a bit of a falling out in Biarritz actually and haven’t been in touch,”

  Kate replied vaguely.

  “Not even for your birthday?”

  “I’d rather not go into it.”

  Shane knew when it was best not to delve into a subject. If Kate wanted to tell him anything, she would do it in her own time. But he was amazed that they had fallen out after all the years.

  The sea breeze carried them further down the strand until they reached a wall of rocks that had to be scaled to continue along the beach.

  “Which way do you want to go?” Shane asked.

  “I’m no expert but those clouds gathering over there look like they have rain in them. Will we go back to the car?”

  Shane nodded. “We can tackle the wine if you feel up to it.”

  “Four o’clock in the afternoon, on Dollymount strand with a bottle of wine – sounds familiar?”

  Shane grinned.

  “Only we drank Black Tower and Blue Nun in those days,” Kate smiled. “I’d forgotten about them – now there’s a blast from the past.”

  “Didn’t I tell you I have Blue Nun in the car?”

  Kate looked at him strangely. “Do you still drink that?”

  “Really, Kate, do you think we are all wine ignorant in Ireland!” he laughed as the expression on her face changed.

  The car was warm after the cool April breeze had blown away the cobwebs.

  “Voilà,” Shane exclaimed as he handed over a plastic cup and screwed open the Cabernet Sauvignon.

  “Thanks,” Kate said, taking the half-filled cup. It tasted tart on her tongue but was acceptable nonetheless.

  “Cheers!” Shane tipped the lip of his plastic cup off Kate’s and they drank a couple of mouthfuls in silence.

  “It’s weird being here like this, isn’t it?” he said.

  Kate nodded. “It’s a bit surreal alright. But it also feels so natural being with you again.”

  Shane took a deep breath and breathed it out slowly. “I’ve had trouble thinking about anything else except you for the last few days. Not a good idea when you’re coming into runway one-zero in Dublin airport on a busy Sunday night.”

  Kate blushed at the thought of Shane seeing her face on the instruments in the cockpit.

  “You’ve been a priority in my mind too.” Her brown eyes widened as she turned and leaned her head against the neck-rest.

  Shane propped his cup into the holder on the dashboard then turned to meet her gaze. “How did we manage to get it so wrong?” he sighed.

  “Maybe we didn’t get it wrong, maybe this is the way it’s meant to be,” she gulped quietly, not really believing her own supposition.

  Shane couldn’t look at her any longer. He lifted his right hand and gently brushed it off her cheek, pausing for a moment before removing it from her face.

  The heat from his touch melted Kate’s skin until she felt it merge with it. She closed her eyes – willing his next move. His scent strengthened as she felt his breath against her cheek and she braced herself before he softly placed a single warm kiss on her lips. When she opened her eyes his face was as close as it could be.

  They both closed their eyes and kissed again, this time with impatience and longing bound tightly together. The sweet taste of wine and saliva mingled until they dissolved into one another, drinking and tasting with relish.

  Neither could tell how long they had been kissing when they eventually stopped.

  “Jesus!” Kate exclaimed, her knees shaky and her mind heady from the experience.


  Shane was breathless with eyes dazed. “What are we going to do?” he asked, looking out at the sea, afraid to look at Kate again.

  “Get a room?” Kate suggested.

  “I mean, what are we going to do with our lives, Kate?” Shane’s tone was solemn.

  “Well, I’m barely divorced and you are still married, so there isn’t much choice at the moment,” Kate muttered resolutely.

  Her words cut him.

  “Let’s take other people out of the equation,” he said. “What about us?”

  His tone was serious and Kate swallowed hard, unsure of the right answer to give.

  “I’m not going to be responsible for breaking up a marriage,” Kate said realistically. “We’ve only met twice in as many years – we need to put it in perspective.”

  “Are you telling me that kiss meant nothing?” Shane’s eyes glazed over.

  Kate shook her head. “You know how that kiss felt! But we have to be sure. Spend more time together.”

  “You don’t understand,” Shane picked at the leather on his steering-wheel. “Natasha wants a family and I don’t want that to . . .”

  He didn’t need to finish. Kate understood what was going on inside his mind. She put her hand comfortingly on top of his.

  “If it’s meant to be, we will be together.”

  “Wasted time,” he said, shaking his head. “For Natasha too . . .”

  “You can’t jump out of Nathasha’s arms into mine after a couple of days. We have stuff to sort out. I live in France, my sons are French. We can still continue to see each other until we are both sure.”

  “I am sure, Kate. But I’m concerned that you mightn’t be. You’re the impulsive one jumping from marriage to marriage. Why won’t you take a chance on us?”

  “Because, Shane, you are different. You are my dream. You are the one.” Her words were articulated clearly and carefully. “If we get together, it has to be perfect.”

  Then he understood.

  Chapter 11

  “There’s no bloody way a wife of mine is selling anything behind a stall, like some sort of traveller!” Colin shouted.

  Annabel grimaced. “It’s a hobby,” she replied quietly. “Something for me.”

  “You have the kids, and a bloody au pair and, and what about tennis?”

  Annabel wanted to cry. Is that all Melissa and Colin thought she was good for – bloody tennis!

  * * *

  Kate braced herself for the landing – relieved that she was going home at last. Her mother was comfortable for the time being. Little had changed in her condition since she’d arrived home over a week ago.

  The roller-coaster of emotions she had to deal with following her mother’s operation and after meeting Shane had left her exhausted. He was there at the airport to see her off like an anxious puppy dog, longing for his owner’s return. She was high when she was in his company and lonely when they were apart. The intensity of their love was different to any other she had experienced. It was right that they hadn’t slept with each other yet. He was still married and their love had to be uncontaminated by any sort of betrayal, if it was going to last.

  Toulouse airport was a breeze to walk through. She carried a small case and was in Arrivals in minutes. She spotted Fabian’s tall and lean figure in the distance. His black hair flopped from side to side as he rushed to greet her.

  “Cherie, mon dieu, but look at you!” he exclaimed. “Give me a hug, you look awful!”

  Kate couldn’t help but smile. She missed him like a brother. In many ways she felt closer to him than to Philip.

  “It’s been a bit mad, Fabian – how are things here?”

  “You missed nothing, cherie, but we all missed you!”

  Kate smiled as Fabian directed her to his Renault.

  “Now, your mother first, how is she?” Fabian asked in his usual manner of drawing information.

  “Stable. It’s terminal as I said on the phone but we have to make her as comfortable as possible. She could last six months but –”

  Fabian raised an eyebrow. “She won’t?” he finished her sentence.

  Kate shook her head silently.

  “And what about Annabel?” Fabian probed. “Are you friends again?”

  “I haven’t spoken to her.”

  “This is the time you need to talk to her – you need all of the support you can get.”

  “I spent a bit of time with an old friend actually,” Kate revealed.

  “Tell Fabian,” he ordered.

  “He’s an old boyfriend.”

  Fabian gave an acknowledging nod. “Continue!”

  “We’ve met a few times over the last week and we still have feelings for each other.”

  “Fantastic!” Fabian smacked his lips. “That is just what you need, mon cherie.”

  “I’m not so sure, Fabian,” she sighed. “He’s married.”

  “Ah!” he groaned. “I hate it too when I meet a nice guy and he is married!”

  “Shane – that’s his name – wants to leave his wife and make a go of it with me.”

  “Problem solved,” Fabian said as he gave the steering wheel a triumphant thump.

  “You know, Fabian, I’ve jumped around the last forty years, impulsively shifting from one relationship to the next and now I feel I need to take stock of my life.”

  “You cannot let this Shane slip if he is so special. You must act – vite!”

  “I know this doesn’t make sense because when I’m with him I am happier than I have ever been in my life, but –” she paused.

  “What is this but?”

  “There is something stopping me. Some little voice ringing inside telling me that this is not the time.”

  “You are forty now – not a baby any more!” Fabian informed her gently.

  “I know. Thanks for your card by the way.”

  “I am only sorry I couldn’t give it to you in person,” he said, reaching into the breast pocket of his calico jacket and taking out a long slender package. “For you!”

  Kate opened the navy-blue box and revealed a silver chain with a disc dangling from it. Imprinted on the circle was an enamelled image of The Third Eye.

  “It’s beautiful,” Kate gulped.

  There was no way Fabian knew about her tattoo but it was significant that he picked it out for her.

  “The Third Eye is the home of our deepest and truest emotions. I hope you find happiness in your fortieth year, Kate,” he said sincerely.

  “Thank you, Fabian,” she said, stroking his cheek with the back of her fingers. “It’s very thoughtful of you.”

  Halfway through the journey Kate was feeling queasy. She begged Fabian to stop. He pulled off the motorway when they reached a layby. She was retching from deep inside her stomach and had to hold onto the car door for support when she eventually got out.

  “My poor Kate, you are still upset?” Fabian leaned out over the passenger seat as he watched his friend vomit on a patch of grass.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Fabian – I’ve been feeling like this for the last couple of weeks.” Kate’s legs were wobbling as she sat back into the car. “I’m exhausted all the time as well.”

  Fabian handed her a tissue to wipe her mouth. “You need to see the doctor, cherie. There is a lot going on for you.”

  Kate usually tried not to resort to conventional medicine but she had to agree with Fabian – she wasn’t coping. A trip to Dr Borel wouldn’t take long.

  * * *

  Later that evening she took the short walk to the village surgery. Dr Borel was standing in the doorway of his room with his spectacles resting on the tip of his nose.

  “Everybody is well today!” he grinned at Kate as she approached him from the empty waiting room. “Come in, I am glad of the company.”

  The small country practice was friendly and informal and suited Kate.

  “How are you, Madame Cassaux?”

  “Doctor, I have been having a busy time .
. .” She told him of her divorce, of her mother’s illness and the trip to Dublin, and the pressure of producing work for her impending exhibition.

  “I will check you out,” he said, taking the blood pressure monitor in hand.

  When he was finished he passed an empty bottle over to Kate.

  “Can you give me a sample, please? Then I want to check your bloods.”

  Kate went into the tiny closet off his surgery and returned three minutes later.

  The doctor had numerous litmus papers ready to dip into the cloudy liquid which he did quickly and discreetly by the sink. He then washed his hands and returned to the desk with a wide grin on his face.

  “Madame Cassaux, you are not ill but you do have a condition.”

  Kate braced herself. She had no idea what was wrong with her but the doctor seemed positive.

  “You are going to have a baby!”

  Kate’s mouth dropped. This couldn’t be happening. This was the sort of thing that happened to adolescents when they drank too much or took drugs. This should not be happening to a woman who had just had her fortieth birthday.

  Dr Borel leaned forward and touched Kate on the arm.

  “Mrs Cassaux, are you all right?” he asked gently.

  kate twitched slightly in her seat and shook herself down. “Yes, Doctor, it’s just a bit of a shock.”

  Kate’s head was spinning. Biarritz! What possessed her to be so careless? In her wild days she had always had a condom on her. It was obligatory like her lip-gloss and wallet. How could she have been so irresponsible? She didn’t even know how to contact the father. Hell, she didn’t even know his second name. What was she going to do?

  * * *

  “Really, Annabel,” her mother chastised. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you. There are plenty of women who would love to be in your position. Colin is an excellent provider for his family – you’re really showing him up.”

  “But this isn’t about Colin or my family, Mum,” Annabel sighed.

  “Is this all about turning forty? Because some people’s hormones do start to go a bit ditsy.”