Against the Dawn

by amanda bonilla

  He didn’t confirm my suspicions, simply clamped his jaw down stubbornly.

  “Can you please, for one second, consider how hard this situation is on me? What happened between us was—”

  Xander rounded his desk in a flash of motion, appearing before me as though from thin air. “A mistake? Unfortunate? Wrong?” His voice was strained, choked with emotion. “Please, do enlighten me, Darian.”

  “It was wonderful,” I said through the thickness in my own throat. “You gave me comfort, you made me feel loved, and I’m grateful for that connection that we shared in a time when I needed it.”

  His gaze tore through me, cutting a bloody swath in its wake. “Then why deny us?”

  This was so much harder than I thought it would be. I strained under the immense pressure, barely able to keep upright from the weight. Over the decades, by slow degrees, I’d starved my emotions. The part of me that felt anything shriveled until there was nothing left but apathy and hollow detachment. But silly me, I’d allowed Tyler and Raif, Xander and even Anya, Brakae, Asher, and countless others to nourish what I’d starved and now the hurt was almost too much for me to bear.

  “I love you Xander.” His expression changed, almost hopeful. “But I’m in love with Tyler.”

  “I’m sorry, Darian.” Xander’s voice was a low rumble, like thunder in the distance. “I cannot be swayed on this matter. Too much is at stake.”

  “If you do this, if you have Tyler taken into custody, you’ll leave me unprotected.” Of course, my protection was the least of my worries at this point. I hoped to appeal to his softer side, the one that cared about what happened to me. “Is that what you want?”

  “I will protect you.” The words rang with the finality of a proclamation. It brooked no argument.

  Stubborn ass! “Do you want me to beg?” Because at this point, I was ready to drop to my knees. “You can save face without going to any extremes.”

  Xander let out a derisive snort. “We’ve become too soft in this modern age. Had an assault on my person occurred even a century ago, Raif would have taken your Jinn’s head from his shoulders before he could land a second blow. I refuse to tolerate any further disrespect and his very existence is an affront to me.”

  “Careful, Xander.” My tone hardened to stone. “Your ego is beginning to show.”

  “I am a high king, Darian. Perhaps it is time that you acknowledged that.”

  Mother eff! There was no talking to him. Not while he was still so angry and hell-bent on retribution. “Then you might as well punish me, too.”

  He expelled a chuff of breath as though the notion was ridiculous.

  “Come on, Xander. Don’t you want to make me pay for playing with your emotions? For making you think that there might be something between us only to have the rug pulled out from under you? Don’t you want to hurt me? To show the world that no one, especially some lowly creature who isn’t even a Shaede by birthright, fucks with the great and mighty Alexander Peck?”

  “Darian.”

  I sensed the warning in the timbre of his voice but I chose to ignore it. “What? I mean, if you’re going to defer to the logic and social behavior of centuries ago, you might as go all out, right? The high king cuckolded, and his consort not even of royal lineage!” I gasped and brought my hand to my throat as though scandalized by the very notion. “Anne Boleyn didn’t get away with that shit, so why should I?”

  “That’s enough.”

  No, it wasn’t. Not by a long shot. “Off with her head!”

  “Stop this. Now.”

  “Don’t you have a tower somewhere that you throw me in? A bed of straw for me to sleep on and armed guards to keep me in line? Hell, why stop there? Maybe you should parade me through downtown Seattle on a wagon, lock me in stocks and let your subjects throw half-empty Starbucks cups at me.”

  “You’ve exhausted my patience, Darian.” In all of the time I’d known Xander, he’d never once kicked me out of his house. Even when I went out of my way to be a pain in his ass. Could it be that I’d finally pushed my luck too far?’

  “Please, Xander.” I forced every ounce of supplication I could muster into my words. One last ditch effort was all I had at this point. “If you care about me even a little, don’t do this.”

  He turned his back to me and strolled back to his desk. “I care for my kingdom more than the matters of my own heart.”

  “Bullshit.” I spat the word at him, my anger, frustration, and hurt churning the acid in my stomach. “You covet your throne and nothing else.”

  “Raif.” He summoned his brother without even raising his voice which meant that he must have been waiting by the door. Lovely. Supernatural hearing made for some juicy eavesdropping and I’m sure Raif got an earful.

  The door to Xander’s study opened slowly and Raif stepped inside. “Escort Darian from the property,” he said as he sat down at his desk. “And see that she gets home safely.”

  Raif took a tentative step toward me and I held out a hand. “Don’t bother. I can see myself out. And home safely. God forbid I disrupt the royal household from a day of self-important preening. Enjoy that lonely throne of yours, your highness.”

  Raif reached out as if to put his hand on my shoulder and I dodged away with a warning glare as I strode from the room. I swore my head was swelling. Blowing up like a balloon from the angry pressure and ready to burst. As I walked beside Raif, I held back the verbal assault that waited to spill from my lips. I wanted to shout at him, demand that he explain how he could sit back and let Xander carry out this petty vendetta against Ty. Scream that he should do something—anything—to stop it before I not only hated Xander, but him as well. But those thoughts were irrational and immature. I’d moved past that sort of behavior. The truth was, I understood Xander’s position as well as Raif’s. I would never ask him to defy his brother or his king, and likewise, I recognized Xander’s need to remind those around him that he was in fact, a high king and worthy of the respect that came with that title. Just because I understood that, though, it didn’t mean I couldn’t be angry about it. Or even accept it.

  “I’ll do what I can, Darian. You know that. But my influence only goes so far and Xander is…” He paused as if struggling for words. “Under a great deal of pressure right now. And I wish I could tell you that his motives are purely political at this point, but I think you and I both know that that would be a lie.”

  “Not entirely.” Raif cocked a curious brow. “When I first got back into town I overheard the conversation you were having with his regent’s errand boys. I know you’re trying to get him to leave the city and go home.”

  Raif let out a sigh that echoed the amount of stress he must’ve felt. “My brother is a creature at war with himself. And until he can reconcile his desires with his duty, his kingdom will remain in a state of unrest.”

  “Then make him leave.” It seemed like the simplest solution. “Maybe now that he’s angry, he’ll be receptive to the suggestion.”

  “Do you really believe that, Darian?”

  My shoulders slouched. “No.” Xander was totally a cut his nose off to spite his face sort of guy. Stubborn to a fault. I supposed we had that in common. “I guess I figured it was worth a shot.” As we approached the foyer, I spotted Asher waiting by the door. My escort home, no doubt. “Raif, you know I can’t let this go, right? I’m going to give Tyler a heads up.”

  “Of course,” he said with a smile. “You wouldn’t be you, Darian if you didn’t try to butt in and fix everyone’s problems.”

  His little rib was spoken with affection. I really was a pain in the ass. A textbook case of doing the wrong things for the right reasons, hence my obsession with fixing everything. This situation, however, was beyond my control. At this point, I could only warn Ty about what Xander was up to and hope for the best possible outcome. Whatever that might be.

  “In the spirit of fair warning, you should know that Xander has instructed Asher to remain by your side at al
l times. He’s been appointed your personal bodyguard for the duration.”

  The duration of what, I wondered. It could have been worse, I suppose. Xander could have saddled me with a battalion of Shaede warriors to follow my every move. I liked Asher. I didn’t mind having him around. “Keep me posted if you can,” I said to Raif. I’d never ask him to turn spy against his own brother, but I’d take any information he’d be willing to spare.

  He inclined his head to me, his sapphire blue eyes reflecting the regret that I felt. “Enjoy the rest of your day, Darian.”

  And with that, he turned and headed back toward Xander’s study.

  My heart hurt. Ached like a lump of hot coal was burning through my chest. All of the playful familiarity Raif and I shared evaporated under Xander’s mandate. Maybe it was easier for him to treat me as though I was nothing more than another of the king’s subjects come to beg a favor. It stung like a sonofabitch, though, and I prayed we’d all bounce back from this.

  “Looks like you’re saddled with me for a while,” I said to Asher as he opened the door. “Just an FYI, but I’ve been officially booted off the property so if you need to grab a change of clothes or anything, I suggest you do it now.”

  “I’m your bodyguard, not your girlfriend, Darian. I don’t need a sleepover bag. I’m ready to roll.”

  I chanced a backward glance, down the long ornate hallway that led to Xander’s study. What a mess I’d made. “All right, let’s get moving. I’ve got a long to do list and not much time to get it all done.”

  “You’re the boss, boss,” Asher teased as he followed me out.

  “Hardly.” I’d spurned a king and had the nerve to suggest that he turn the other cheek and take it like a champ. I wouldn’t be sleeping on a bed of straw, but Xander hadn’t hesitated to supply a guard. “Let’s get out of here before what little patience the king has with me wears out.”

  “Lead the way, Darian.” Asher’s upbeat tone was admirable considering the circumstances. I couldn’t help but feel that at a moment’s notice, Xander might decide that I should share in whatever fate awaited Tyler. It was a harsh reminder that we might have lived in the age of progression and technology, but the supernatural world hadn’t quite caught up.

  I was surprised to find a car parked in the driveway, ready to drive us wherever we needed to go. Xander wasn’t messing around when he’d kicked me out of the house. An escort and a ride. Asher seemed to sense where my thoughts were headed and said, “It’s the middle of the day, Darian and I’m not a special snowflake like you are. I can’t just shed my skin and zing across town at the speed of light. I arranged for the ride, not my king, because there is no way I’m hoofing it from here to Belltown. Seriously, you’re acting like you’re under house arrest or something.”

  Stupid mind readers. As half Sidhe, I’d always suspected that Asher could glean snatches of thought here and there. I resurrected a mental shield; I’d have to focus on keeping him out of my head if we were going to be spending quality time together from here on out. I turned to Asher before ducking into the car and asked, “Aren’t I?”

  “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

  I decided to keep my own melodramatic assumptions to myself as the car pulled out of the driveway and headed back toward Belltown. I twisted my ring as thoughts raced through my mind, one of which being Reaver’s assertion that a living, thriving entity occupied the silver encircling my thumb. My motives for trying to curb Xander’s vendetta against Tyler wasn’t to protect Ty. But if I’d told Xander that it was actually him I was trying to protect it would have only made matters worse. He would have thought that I perceived him as weak, the exact thing he was trying to avoid by bringing Tyler to justice.

  My visit with Reaver worried me. You don’t throw around words like “omnipotent” without meaning it. Everything I’d learned about the Jinn since coming home pointed to one simple fact: Ty was packing a wallop in the power department and if push came to shove, it might be hard for even the Synod to keep him in check. I’d seen Tyler freeze the atmosphere in my apartment and turn it to glistening snow. Watched as his wrath caused a fissure in a thick marble wall. I’d seen him stop Moira in her tracks with nothing more than a thought. He could pop in and out of thin air at a moment’s notice. Grant wishes as though simply pulling a coin from his pocket. I’d seen him kill. Tear a body into nothing more than strips of bloodied flesh. And I knew without a doubt that all I’d seen was a mere drop in the bucket compared to what he was truly capable of.

  He was bound to me. Our souls were interconnected in a way that I couldn’t explain. What would he do if Xander threatened to keep us apart? What protective instinct would it trigger? And to what lengths would he go if he thought even for a second that Xander was a threat to me? Would he kill the Shaede King?

  It was a possibility I didn’t even want to consider.

  My head spun with too many thoughts to process as I fished my phone out of my pocket and dialed Ty’s cell. I could have wished him into the car with me, but I didn’t want Asher in close quarters when I informed him of Xander’s plans.

  “Hey,” Ty greeted, his tone upbeat. “I was just getting ready to call you.”

  “Where are you?” Unfortunately, I couldn’t infuse my own tone with even a shred of optimism.

  “At The Pit,” he answered slowly. “Taking care of a little business. Why?”

  The Pit was as good a place as any to talk. Better, really since I could put distance between me and Asher. “I’ll meet you there in a few. We need to talk.”

  “All right. Is everything okay?”

  No. Not even close. “I don’t want to say anything over the phone. I’ll see you soon.” I disconnected the call and leaned over my seat. “I need to make a detour to my apartment.”

  “Detour?” Asher asked with suspicion.

  “Yup,” I replied. “Have the driver drop us off at The Pit. I need to talk to Ty.”

  Asher pinned me with a stern expression, his lips pursed. “You really want to stir up more trouble?”

  “You need to relax, Asher. I’ll buy you a drink.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The afternoon crowd had barely begun to filter in by the time I made it to The Pit. I would have preferred a few more people to offer up a distraction for my bodyguard, but thankfully Levi was working and I knew I could count on him to chat Asher up for a bit. We hunkered up to the bar and I made small talk as I sipped my ginger ale. “Hey, Levi, have you seen Ty around?” It shouldn’t have been tough to spot him in an almost empty building, but I’d yet to track him down.

  “He’s in the office.” Levi jutted his chin toward a closed door to the left of the bar. “You can go on in if you want.”

  Why would Ty be hanging out in someone else’s office? Not that it was any of my business. “Ash, keep Levi company.” I hopped down from my stool and headed for the office. “I won’t be long.”

  I gave Levi a pointed glance that he caught onto without missing a beat and began chatting Asher up about the Sounders game that had the streets flooded with eager soccer fans on their way to the stadium. I loved that kid. The door was closed so I rapped on the wooden panels and waited to be invited inside. Since I had no idea who Ty might be with or what type of business he was conducting here, I thought it best to err on the side of caution.

  “Come on in!”

  I peeked into the doorway to find Ty seated at an old, worn out desk, alone in the office. He was studying a sheaf of papers, which he promptly stuffed into a manila envelope when I stepped inside. “Hey.” I couldn’t help the curious lilt to my voice. I mean, I’d never known Ty to use this office before. “What are you doing?”

  “Oh, you know,” Ty remarked. “A little of this, a little of that. Tying up some loose ends.”

  Vague.

  “And what, you just hijacked the bar office to get some work done?”

  He gave me a lopsided grin and shrugged. Infuriating. “What’s going on? You sounded a
little worked up on the phone. Everything okay?”

  No. Not by a longshot. I took a seat on a worn out couch across from the desk and leveled my gaze on Ty. “You should know that Xander has arranged for the PNT to take you into custody. Soon, if not immediately. He filed charges against you for cold cocking him at the dignitary ball. And whereas in the human world, an assault charge wouldn’t cause you much of an inconvenience, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that in the supe world, assault on a king is a pretty big deal.”

  Ty pursed his lips. Regarded me with his intense hazel stare. “You’re right. It is a pretty big deal. And I already know.”

  What? “If you already know then what in hell are you still doing here?” Ty should have poofed off to wherever it was genies poofed to the second he got wind of his impending arrest. Didn’t he hang with the criminal set for a living? Avoiding capture was law breaker 101. “You should be halfway to Tasmania by now.”

  Ty chuckled and it made me want to cross the room and slap some sense into him. “First of all, I don’t think I’ve reached that level of fugitive status quite yet. Secondly, I already know because Adare contacted me right after Xander filed his charges. I socked the bastard. And if I could do it all over again, I’d still sock the bastard. Adare has brought Xander’s charges to the attention of the Synod and they agree that I should be—” he let out a rueful laugh “—punished, so there’s no point in running off to hide. If I try to fight this, Darian, it’ll cause more and bigger problems. Right now, the best I can do is go with the flow and play this out to the end.”

  “What if I’m not on board with that plan?” Ty and I were a team now. At least, I thought we were. Wasn’t this what couples did, talk out their issues to come to a decision they both could live with? “Ty, Xander is blowing all of this out of proportion in an effort to soothe his misdirected anger. It’s not fair.”