My Best Friend's Brother

by Chrissy Fanslau

  Luke’s leaving tomorrow anyway. There’s nothing to talk about.

  The bell rang and we both hurried out. Since her chemistry class is across the hall from creative writing, I walked with her.

  “Hey, Lilly,” Gino said, wrapping an arm around her neck. “Wanna go to the Halloween dance tomorrow, baby?”

  “Tomorrow?!” I shrieked, embarrassed afterwards.

  He looked at me. “Yeah, they changed the date, since there’s no school tomorrow.”

  I groaned.

  “Gino, this is my best friend Adonia. Adonia, meet Gino Barone,” Lilly said as her eyeballs rolled down his body.

  “Hey, how you doin’?” He smiled. That leather jacket must be attached to his body, he wears it everywhere. “I just moved here from New York.” That explained the accent. “This place ain’t so cold all the time.”

  I grinned. “Not yet.”

  He looked surprised. Then he smiled at Lilly, pulled her close and kissed her. I walked away, before I could become jealous of her having someone. Even if that someone is the Del Monte giant!

  I stopped abruptly in the doorway of my last class. Jake and a few others bumped into me, nudged me aside, and walked past. I was stunned to see Luke in the seat next to mine! His eyes were settled on me, his arms crossed, his hair perfect. An ungodly level of hot.

  I walked to my seat—breathless—and sat. His cologne brought back memories. Memories that didn’t belong in a high school class.

  And he was staring at me—I swear!—intentionally driving me crazy. I wanted to kiss him right there. He looked and smelled so good I swear I had to stop myself.

  “Okay,” Mr. Tweezer started three sadly uneventful minutes later. “Today’s prompt. Write what you or your character expects from the Halloween dance tomorrow. It can be fiction or nonfiction. Take ten minutes, write, and then I’ll take volunteers to read their papers.” He sat behind the mountain of homework on his desk.

  The room quieted down, with an occasional whisper or two about the party. But when they all finally shut up, you could hear the clock tick.

  I wrote fiction about Luke, of course, and about me, except their names weren’t Luke and Adonia, their names were Lars and Abigail. And although Lars is not a hot guy’s name, I had to use something that started with L, and I couldn’t think of anything else.

  I wrote fiction because, you know, this stuff will never happen in real life.

  Luke’s cologne still made its way to me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him, focused, like putting his soul down on paper. It was really wow. I stared at him pathetically. It’s hard to resist a guy who writes like that. Who looks like that. Who says the amazing things he does, and means them.

  When my pen finally touched paper, Mr. Tweezer announced, “One minute.”

  I put down a story in sixty seconds, and it was stupid as hell.

  “Pens down.”

  I finished my last sentence and put my pen down, not yet looking up from my paper. It was safest to pretend I was busy—I didn’t plan to volunteer.

  “Lauren,” Mr. Tweezer picked, pointing to a girl in the back. Didn’t he say volunteers? It sounded more like he was calling on people. But then again, it was hard to tell with my head stuck in my notebook and my eyes peeking above the page only once.

  Lauren walked to the front of the room and started reading. She claimed it was fiction, but using the names Lauren and Bradley wasn’t convincing. And why would her fake characters want to make out in the janitor’s closet? She finished and everyone clapped, because that’s what good workshop members do to not hurt each other’s feelings.

  “Adonia, care to read yours to the class?” Mr. Tweezer said.

  “I’d rather not,” I said courageously.

  “That’s too bad. You need to read in front of people when you’re a writer,” Tweezer informed me. He motioned for the front of the room.

  I stood up in front of everyone, gripping my paper so hard I crumpled it. You and I both know what happened the last time I was nervous enough to do that!

  Everyone stared at me, except for Tom who went to sleep. I felt Luke’s eyes on me. I groaned and looked to Tweezer one more time for clemency. But he just nodded the go-ahead.

  “Lars and Abigail went to the Halloween dance as friends, because Lars would be nothing else. But Abigail was just happy to be with and talk to him. When the dance was over, Abigail planned to remember Lars the way he was that night, for the rest of her miserable life.” I felt the redness of my face, because I wasn’t breathing. It was hard to look up. When I did, people just stared at me. Luke was frowning, biting his lower lip and hugging himself, his left foot on the edge of the desk.

  Jake raised his hand. “Did Lars die?”

  “No.”

  He shrugged. “So what happened?”

  I stared at him. “I don’t know,” I said. I waited for Mr. Tweezer’s permission to sit. He smiled, marked an F in his grade book, and I was seated.

  Well, I don’t think it was an F, but an F I deserved.

  “Luke Pawlak,” Tweezer called. “Care to read yours?”

  Luke pushed out his chair and walked to the front of the room. Did I mention how cute his butt is?

  He turned toward the class and cleared his throat. “It was snowing,” he started, his voice very soft. “Lyle was on his way up the mountain, ski poles in hand, skis on his feet, goggles in his Jeep…”

  Lyle! That’s a guy’s name that starts with an L!

  “At the top he looked over the landscape, watched the sunset he knew Amanda would love. At six o’ clock she was there, poles in hand, skis on her feet, goggles in her new Jeep. Lyle was overjoyed to see her, he kissed her and cradled her and other things I have to censor…” He looked up from his paper as everyone giggled. Tweezer sat on his desk, rubbing his forehead.

  “Anyway,” Luke continued, eyeing me for a brief second, “they sped downhill, crossing paths, holding hands. When they reached the bottom, it was almost seven. They got in his Jeep and stripped down until they wore just the costumes beneath, because this story’s censored.” More giggles from the class. “They went to the party, hand-in-hand. They danced, drank Sprite, pretended it was champagne, and decided no one would come between them ever again. And they graduated and lived happily ever after in a really snowy place, yadda yadda yadda. The end.”

  Some love-struck girl raised her hand. “Are you single?” she asked, like she’s about to swoon.

  He shrugged. “Why?”

  “Are you going to the party with anyone?” she asked, her tone excited.

  I shot her a nasty look. Get your own Greek god, that one’s mine! I hoped he’s mine—it’d be very hard to find a new one!

  “No,” Luke said, “I’m not going as of now.”

  She literally whimpered.

  Of course he’s not. He’d be on a plane. He didn’t have to worry about being dateless or being the only senior left in school who wasn’t going.

  “So what costumes did they strip down to?” Jake asked in a mocking tone.

  Luke didn’t respond.

  Mr. Tweezer rubbed his forehead again and sighed. “Thank you, Luke. Next volunteer?” He shifted on his desk, causing this whole clutter of papers to drift off. He glanced at them on the floor for a second and pointed to Jake.

  Luke sat back down beside me. He was silent, focused on his notebook, continuing his story. I sat, bored and reclined, arms crossed, as I watched Jake’s lips move. I didn’t care what words came out.

  Luke tapped me on the shoulder a few minutes later. My heart fluttered. I looked at him hopefully, hoping he’d tell me that he’s sorry, or that he loves me, or that he wants me back. Or all three.

  His eyes pierced mine. The tips of his hair touched his eyebrows, his muscles were tight and his rippling abs firm against his tee shirt. Irresistible.

  I grew more excited by the second. My eyebrows pinched hopefully, and in a soft whisper I breathed, “Yes…?”

  “May I bo
rrow a pencil?”

  My smile faded and my heart sank. Devastated, I grabbed my backpack and went through it desperately. My hands were shaky and my cheeks were red. The pathetic thing is, I’d touched about a dozen pencils before I actually saw one.

  “Here!” I snapped, slapping it on his desk. He flinched slightly, then moved in and whispered,

  “Thanks.”

  I zipped up my bag and threw it on the floor. Jake stopped reading for a moment and a few people looked at me. My head fell back down on my desk. I sighed. He didn’t love me. He’s never going to take me back. I’m going to be single forever, because I want him and no one else.

  ~ ~ ~

  When the bell rang, everyone rushed toward the door. Everyone but me and him.

  We took our time putting things away. You know how you’re hoping a certain someone will talk to you, so you take your sweet time doing everything, and you’re left with this awkward silence when you’re all done? It was like that. Except once his stuff was away, he resumed to normal, put his backpack on, and headed for the door.

  Lilly and Gino practically fell through the door from the packed hallway, laughing and nearly crashing into him.

  “Adonia!” Lilly screamed, pushing Gino away. “Oh. Hi, Lukasz.” She looked at him, then at me. “Do you guys want to go to the skating rink? Gino wants to learn how to skate. Maybe we can double…” Her voice trailed off, her eyes moving between us again. “Maybe we can go together?”

  Luke looked at me over his shoulder. “Well, I don’t have anything better to do.”

  They all looked at me. Between my parents and studying for that math retake, I really didn’t have the time. But when Luke looked away, disappointed, I blurted, “Sure.”

  So we got in Luke’s Jeep—me up front, Lilly and Gino in back—and drove.

  The two in the backseat made out, climbing all over each other the whole way there. Luke kept his eyes on the road, glancing over at me with a light smirk every now and then.

  I wished we could do that again.

  We went to the indoor rink. It was well lit and considerably warmer than the one outside. I skated around Lilly and Gino for a while, but she was too busy picking him up every time he fell. “This is a bit different than city hockey!” he uttered, all red faced after he slipped, fell, and dragged her down with him. They laughed.

  Luke sat on a bench, the laces on his skates loose. He wasn’t laughing.

  The place wasn’t all that crowded. It had decent food, a hotdog stand, a smoothie stand, and a pizza parlor. The building was donut-shaped, with big doors and few outside windows. It had a well-heated eating area with a round glass wall, so you could see the people in the rink—or in the eating area—wherever you were.

  I skated to him and plopped myself on the bench. He looked at me for a second. “It’s chilly in here,” he said, eyeing the pizza parlor.

  “Why aren’t you wearing a coat like everyone else?”

  “I guess I’ve been used to the cold outside. But we’ve been in here for an hour.” He looked at me. “Wanna go get something to eat?”

  I smiled. “Sure.”

  He got up and skated to the edge of the rink, where he replaced his skates with sneakers. I did the same with my boots.

  We sat close together at one of the tiny round black marble tables and enjoyed the heat gushing from the heater above. He had his pepperoni pizza and a Sprite. I had a hotdog, fries, and a double-berry smoothie.

  “Can I have one?” he asked, eyeing my fries.

  I gestured for him to take what he wanted. I put the sauerkraut on my hotdog and topped it with mustard. His silence made me kind of uncomfortable.

  He glanced at me every so often, and that didn’t help matters, either. I wanted to know if he was leaving tomorrow. So I asked him.

  He looked away.

  I leaned back in my seat and put my hotdog down on the plate—my appetite diminished. Finally, he wiped his mouth, threw the crumpled napkin on the table, and said, “I didn’t bother asking. My dad wouldn’t go for it anyway, he’s way too busy to bother with me.” His look softened. “I’m moving out after I graduate. Might as well finish school here and get on with my life.” He picked up his pizza and took another bite. “I like Burke better as a dad anyway.”

  Finally, I could breathe again, and I couldn’t help the smile. “How come Lilly doesn’t?”

  “Lilly barely knows our real dad. As for me, it’s like I didn’t even live with him, it’s like I lived with the sitter.

  “I’m telling you, though, Burke’s great with my mom. She’s lucky to be with such a nice guy.” He set his pizza down and slouched in his chair.

  “My parents are divorcing,” I whispered. “My mom’s always away.” Our eyes met. “I guess my dad’s pretty sick of it.”

  “I know how that feels. Divorce really sucks.” Then he added, “Sorry.”

  “I’m not,” I said quickly. “My mom deserves it.”

  Luke frowned. “She’s nice. Why do you feel that way?”

  “Besides the fact that she cares about her Jeep more than me…?” My voice trailed off. “She asked if the Jeep was okay.”

  “I guess that is pretty messed up,” he said. “If I ever get married, I hope I never have to divorce.”

  We exchanged looks. Then he winked, and I beamed. After a few silent seconds I asked, “So, did you send the teddy bear?”

  His eyebrows met. “What teddy bear?” But I could see it in his eyes.

  “The one you sent me,” I said with a smile.

  He grinned. “I thought it would be a friendly thing to do.” He finished his pizza.

  A friendly thing to do? I sighed.

  Lilly appeared, balancing herself on her ice skates. She dropped herself into a chair at our table. “Hey, lovebirds,” she said with a smile. “Mind if I join you?”

  Luke looked past her. “Where’s your hockey buddy?”

  “You mean my boyfriend?” She looked over her shoulder. Gino was about a hundred feet away, slipping and sliding, his knees on ice, trying to stand by leaning on the bench. Once he was up, he pulled the bottoms of his black jeans from under his skates, slipped, and fell again. “I think he’s worn out,” she said, turning to us again. She snuck a fry in her mouth. “Wanna go to the movies next?”

  “I might have to go home,” I told her, eyeing Luke. He looked at me hungrily, which I liked.

  “It’s not eight yet,” he said, his eyes piercing mine. “Nowhere near it. Wanna go off-road?”

  I blushed at the thought of off-roading again.

  Lilly analyzed us for a few seconds. Then she gasped and covered her mouth. “Yuck!” she said with a face. “Count me out. I’m not getting into a car driven out in the middle of nowhere by you,” she teased.

  “I drove you here,” Luke said.

  “Yeah, on a highway!” She looked at me. “If you want to go, you have my blessing, just you and him, alone in his car, in Nowhereville, USA! Doing God-knows-what!” She grinned angelically. “I’ll call a cab!” She got up and waddled back to the rink on her skates. As soon as she got through the glass doors, she took off and helped Gino up. He looked like a hopeless giant, and little Lilly looked silly, trying to get him off the ice.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t,” Luke said, eyeing me. “I guess it was bad enough we went last time, right?” He raised an eyebrow and waited for a response.

  It seemed he still thought I regret it. I love him. He has to see that! It’s obvious. My head fell into my hands.

  Then our fingers locked. His expression was solemn. Something was on the tip of his tongue. When he did speak, he simply said, “Let’s go.”

  We turned our skates in and got our deposit. We were then out the door, waving to Lilly and Gino in line at the smoothie stand. She looked so happy. I hadn’t seen her like that in so long. In a way, I was jealous.

  I wanted him to hold my hand as we walked to his Jeep, but he didn’t. He just opened the door for me, I got in, and he shut it
. He sat in his seat for a while, the heat blowing full blast. He rubbed his hands together and put them in front of the heater. “So, where to?”

  I wanted to go back to our spot in the middle of nowhere. But I was too scared to say it. So I said nothing, and hoped he knew.

  He put the car in gear and backed out of the parking spot.

  We rode in silence until my house came into view. Not an off-road trail, but my house.

  “This isn’t an off-road trail!” I blurted stupidly.

  He looked at me. “I know. It’s your house.”

  I put my head in my hands and whimpered.

  “You said you have to go home…?” Luke reminded me.

  I sighed. “Yeah.”

  Luke put the Jeep in park. “Well, have a good night,” he whispered.

  I waited for him to kiss me, or to walk me to my door. But he just sat there with his hand on the shifter, looking straight ahead, like the last two hours never even happened. I wanted to say “I love you.” I wanted to pathetically beg him to take me back

  I wanted to tell him I knew the difference between my house and an off-road trail.

  Before anything dumber could leave my mouth, my fingers gripped the cold door handle, and I looked at him, hopefully, one last time.

  “Are you going to the dance tomorrow night?” he suddenly asked.

  My heart jumped. “I don’t know.” I took my hand off the door handle, kind of hoping I wouldn’t have to leave.

  “Oh,” he said. He leaned his head against the headrest and looked at me, though his glance was a bit low to be pointed at my face. Then he looked back into my eyes, took a deep breath, smiled softly, and said, “If you go, have fun, okay?”

  With that, he put the car in reverse and waited for me to get out.

  So I did.

  ~ ~ ~

  I went straight to Sullivan’s room when I got in, because every other room was silent as night. From his room I heard those funny Yoshi sounds.

  He sat in front of the television in denim shorts and a green tee shirt, playing a Super Mario game. When he heard me behind him he turned and said, “Hey.”

  “Doesn’t this get boring after a while?” I asked.