Crash Into My Heart

by Selene Grace Silver

  Adrian strode to her, cupped the back of her neck and pulled her close for a deep kiss. She tasted like coffee. Sharp, fresh, earthy.

  When she kissed him back, he slid his hand down, tracking the curve of her back, impelling her possessively against his arousal. Reluctantly, after a minute, he released her, stepping back.

  “We need to put that on hold until I can follow through.”

  She laughed, a deep, husky sound, making him want to kiss her again.

  She moved away. “Let me pour your coffee. How do you like it?”

  “Black, thanks.”

  He leaned against the counter, watching her move around, getting him a mug, filling it with coffee. She turned to hand it to him and noticed him watching her. She smiled self-consciously and busied herself by going to the stove.

  “Bacon and eggs okay? I have a couple of bananas too, but I don’t have much else in the house.”

  “Anything sounds perfect. If you’re dessert.”

  She looked him over, raising curious eyes to his.

  “You’re ready again. I mean, is that normal for you?”

  She obviously had no idea the effect she had on him.

  “Koulka mou, when you’re around, I seem to have one goal.”

  ***

  After breakfast, Adrian joined Janice in the shower. They washed each other, a pleasurable task made more so when they masturbated each other to orgasm.

  Back in the bedroom, they dressed quietly, each thoughtful. Adrian broke the silence.

  “I need to drive up to the factory to meet with the manager.”

  “Of course. I’m feeling much better. Other than my face, I’m good. I don’t have a headache this morning and the rest of my symptoms have cleared as well. I remember everything from the accident perfectly. I’m good. You don’t have to worry about me—“

  Adrian stopped the flow of nervous chatter, gently placing his index finger over her lush lips.

  “I want you here waiting for me after the meeting, koulka mou. I’ve got some possible misconceptions about my sexual prowess to disprove.”

  “You do?” Janice looked at him, her eyes wide.

  “Following a brief but essential run to the shop. For condoms.”

  “Oh.”

  Janice pursed her lips.

  “You’re pretty confident I’ll let you back into my house,” she said, speaking against his finger.

  “Want to argue about it?” Adrian replaced his finger with his lips and kissed her.

  “Not really,” she admitted when he eased back. “Adrian, maybe this is not...”

  “Not?” He started kissing her hairline, moving towards her ear.

  “This…” she breathed, her body responding to him, her mind slowing.

  “Come with me. We’ll stop on the way back and buy whatever we need for a night in. We can get a movie, though I don’t know that we’ll find time to watch it.”

  Janice pulled back.

  “Are you inviting yourself to stay with me again tonight?”

  “Are you objecting?”

  “Well, actually—“

  He started kissing her again. When he lifted his lips, she tried again.

  “Adrian, this is—“

  He claimed her lips again and kissed her senseless.

  “Just say yes. You know you want to.”

  His hands circled her waist and held her against him. He was so strong. He slid a hand down her back and into her panties to caress her bare skin. She groaned her agreement.

  “Okay.”

  He rewarded her acquiescence with another deep kiss.

  He pulled back, turned her towards her closet, and gave her a sound swat on her bum.

  “Get dressed, koulka mou. I want to get back as soon as possible.”

  ***

  Adrian brought Janice into the central office of the plant and settled her with a cup of coffee before he disappeared down a hall beside a tall, shaggy-haired man. She pulled out her phone and called the boys. Nathan answered breathlessly on the fourth ring.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  “Hi, honey. What are you and your brother up to today?”

  “Swimming.”

  Janice could hear shrieks, splashing water.

  “We’re going to the zoo too. We’re going to see elephants and rhinos and monkeys and leopards!”

  “Sounds like a great time.”

  “It’s been the best. We still miss you though, Mom.”

  Christian came on the line.

  “Hi, Mom. I miss you.”

  “I miss you too, honey. I hear that you are going to the zoo. That’ll be fun, won’t it?”

  “Sure, Mom…oh, they’re calling us. We have to change to go.”

  “I’ll call again at bedtime.”

  “Okay. Love you, Mom.”

  “Love you too.”

  Her chest ached at the absence of the boys. They were her world. Other than work, a few close friends, her life was completely about the boys. She felt physical pain being away from them. She wondered whether Adrian was just an easy distraction.

  She leaned her head back against the wall and contemplated the wild choices she’d made last night. Not even twenty-four hours and Adrian had turned her upside down, inside out. She couldn’t believe she’d let him stay.

  She’d shut down after Karl died. Naturally, at first, she needed to mourn the loss of Karl’s life. He’d been a great guy. He’d have done anything for his family. Their days and nights were consumed with work, housekeeping and raising twin boys. Like most couples with small children, they’d struggled to sustain the romance.

  It wasn’t that they had stopped having sex completely. It was just that it was generally late at night when Karl would feel like it. She’d usually been too tired to care whether she came or not. Towards the end, she’d sometimes faked her orgasms so he would fall asleep. Then she could sleep herself. Most evenings, she was a walking zombie by the time the boys had eaten, bathed and gone to bed. Even with someone like Karl, a good father who helped with all aspects of child-rearing.

  Until last night, she hadn’t really missed sex all that much. But then she’d never had sex like that. Ever. Was something different about her? About Adrian? About them together? Just remembering the ways he’d touched her made her body respond. She clenched her thighs as she felt herself grow moist. She thought about the orgasm he’d given her after he’d already come. No words described it adequately.

  She wondered at his attraction to her. She’d been considered pretty in high school, had been nominated to the homecoming court, had dated the star athlete, Karl, but she’d aged. Fine lines marked her previously flawless skin.

  She stood and crossed to a large, framed mirror on the wall. Her skin was good. Her bra cupped her breasts, shaped them nicely. She critiqued her figure. Maybe they weren’t as bad as she’d thought. Adrian seemed to like her body.

  Almost immediately after Karl’s death, men approached her for dates. She’d shot them all down. More recently though, she’d fantasized about the idea of finding a lover. Inevitably, she’d decided she was too busy with the boys. She already had too much to do. Was it fate, meeting Adrian just as the boys left for a holiday? Her phone vibrated. She answered.

  “Hi, stranger! What’s up?”

  Kallie’s voice was happy and relaxed.

  “Not much. What are you doing?”

  “Lying on the beach.”

  “Sounds heavenly.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “Waiting for my lover to take me home to bed.”

  Kallie laughed.

  “Really. What are you doing?”

  “I just told you.”

  “What? No way. Tell me everything.”

  Janice heard voices coming down the hall.

  “I can’t right now, but I’ll catch up with you soon. When are you in town?”

  “I’m coming home tomorrow and spending the night alone. Do you want to meet for dinner?”

  “Su
re. See you tomorrow night for dinner.”

  Adrian entered the room as she clicked the phone off.

  “Who are you meeting for dinner?”

  His voice was surprisingly curt.

  “My girlfriend Kallie.”

  He relaxed then and arched an eyebrow.

  “You might be otherwise occupied.”

  “Don’t you have to go home?” She had a thought. “You don’t actually live up here, do you?”

  “What if I did?”

  Janice felt flustered. She’d been imagining a fling like her friend Kallie was having—an LA guy to see on the weekends once or twice a month for a good bout of sex. If he was local, he’d expect regular contact and that would interfere with her responsibilities as a mother. Plus, she remembered his reaction when he realized she had kids. The man was most definitely not looking for an instant family.

  She placed her hands on his chest, gazing up at him.

  “You don’t. So it’s not an issue, is it?”

  He let her pull his head down for a kiss, but a mild scowl remained on his face.

  “Let’s shop and get those essentials for tonight.”

  ***

  Adrian couldn’t shake his disquiet over the fact that Janice wasn’t as eager to be with him as he was to be with her. He was confident he could take charge in the bedroom. Outside of it though, Janice seemed to control the progression of their relationship.

  Relationship? Normally, a woman only wanting casual sex suited him perfectly. With Janice, it felt unsatisfying. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he’d figure it out. He was a born problem-solver.

  He guided her to his car, opening the passenger door for her to step in. She looked good in his car. He strolled around to his door. His meeting had been productive, and fast, because he wasn’t willing to keep Janice, or his desire, waiting. He had an afternoon, evening and night to figure out what was going on with Janice and his feelings about her before he had to head back to LA, and he intended to exploit that time to its fullest.

  At the store, they picked up ingredients for dinner along with two bottles of good wine. In-season peaches smelled heavenly, so Janice picked out a few ripe ones for dessert. Adrian knew how they’d be eating those. He picked out the largest package of condoms on the shelf. When Janice looked at him, her eyebrow quirked in askance, he teased her.

  “Maybe we should get two packs.”

  He loved her surprised laugh. It was so damn arousing, he kissed her hard and long in the grocery aisle, indifferent to the gawking passersby.

  ***

  They spent the afternoon in bed, just as Adrian had hoped. And he’d improved on his earlier endurance. Later, they cuddled on the couch to watch Janice’s favorite film, Run, Lola, Run, which Adrian had never seen. Dinner and a bottle of wine later, a bowl of juicy sliced peaches in hand, they retired to the bedroom again, where Adrian showed Janice ways to eat sweet, sticky peaches on a naked body. The evening ended in utter satiation.

  ***

  In the morning, Adrian whistled as he dressed. His clothes were beyond wrinkled, but he intended to stop at his house to change before heading into the office. He had to prep for important meetings early Monday morning. Janice lay drowsy and indolent on the bed. He could hardly talk himself into leaving her.

  She smiled up at him, a woman satisfied. He stopped dressing to kiss her several times before he’d actually got to his shoes. Finally dressed, he teased her.

  “Aren’t you going to at least see me to the door?”

  She chuckled her deep laugh and he dropped back down on the sheets with her.

  “Get dressed and come with me,” he urged her as he nibbled on her neck.

  “What would I do while you went to work?”

  “You could sun on the patio, swim—I have a pool—you could read, surf the web, watch television. You could have dinner ready for me when I get home.”

  “Really?” She cocked an eyebrow at him, teasingly. “Like a wife?”

  Adrian froze. Had she guess how infatuated he already was?

  She laughed at what was probably a stricken expression on his face.

  “Adrian, I have to arrange for a car rental, talk to my insurance company, probably shop for a new car, and I’m having dinner with my friend Kallie tonight, remember?” She pouted prettily. “Plus, I’m unused to...you know.”

  “When can you come down? Your sons are away. You’re on summer break.”

  “Adrian, I have a life here. I can’t drop everything to come see you.”

  “What do you have to do tomorrow more exciting than seeing me.”

  “That’s not the point. I’m a busy person. A single mother. A house to keep. Laundry to do.”

  “I’ll help you shop for a car. Don’t go to a dealer without me. I’ll get you a good deal. Car salesmen always shaft women.”

  Janice rolled her eyes. “I think I can buy a car on my own.”

  “Promise me.”

  “Aren’t you busy too?”

  Adrian struggled to hold back his growing frustration. Or was it anxiety. He felt a visceral fear at leaving her. Like she might not willingly see him again.

  He sat down on the bed and caught up her hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it. He stared into her blue eyes. They reminded him of the color of the ocean just as the sun set on the Pacific. Blue striated with deep shadows of dark gray.

  “I need you to say you’ll see me again. Soon.”

  “Why?” she asked, staring at him with huge eyes.

  “You’re under my skin.”

  Janice tried to tug her hand away, but he held onto her tightly. She looked nervous.

  “Adrian, this was a fling. An amazing weekend, but if I see you again, I’m going to start to feel things I’m not ready to feel.”

  “Is this about your husband? Even though he’s been gone for four years?” It was hard not to sound jealous.

  “It’s not that. It’s more complicated. I…have the boys. They come first and no one can displace them. Ever.”

  Adrian sensed his face darkening ominously.

  “That’s it then. You only have room for them and no one else?”

  “I don’t know.” She paused. “I haven’t tried to love anyone else for a long time.”

  “And you won’t take a chance on me. See where this might go?”

  “Where do you want it to go? I would have guessed on Friday night that you had no intention of acquiring a girlfriend.”

  She was absolutely right.

  “I hadn’t met you.”

  “I have kids. I won’t bring someone into their life who won’t be staying. I’m sorry.”

  Adrian stared down at her, keeping his face impassive, stroking her hand with his thumb. He’d never had to beg.

  “At least, give me your cell number?”

  He pulled his phone out and turned it on, entering her number as she recited it.

  He leaned down, kissed her hard before pulling back.

  “This isn’t over, koulka mou.”

  He left.

  ***

  For two days, Janice berated herself for showing Adrian the door. She couldn’t believe it would be possible to physically miss someone she’d only known for thirty-six hours. And yet, the ache in her chest disproved that.

  “Whatever happened to ‘out of sight, out of mind,’” she mumbled to herself as she took another cold shower. The desert temperatures were in the triple digits and she thought longingly of Adrian’s invitation to come down to his home near the marina. He’d probably take her sailing on his boat. Her luck, she’d get motion sickness. Of course, for a wealthy businessman, Adrian had made a wonderful nurse.

  Out of the shower, she inspected her face. The bruises were fading and her nose was hardly sore at all now. She ran her fingers over her lips and thought about Adrian’s kisses.

  “Nope, lady,” she told her reflection, “That was a near miss. That Greek god would have broken your heart. You survived more than one life-
threatening situation this past weekend.”

  She tried to ignore the suspicion that her heart resembled her totaled car.

  At dinner the other night, she’d had to endure Kallie’s claims that she was screwing up.

  You don’t understand, Kallie, she’d told her friend. He’s drop dead gorgeous. LA George-Clooney-gorgeous. And rich. Did I mention rich? He probably dates actresses and models.

  You outshine most women. Besides, looks are only important at the start. It’s your personality and willingness to love and support each other that matters.

  It doesn’t matter now anyway. He left.

  It’s 60 miles tops to where he lives. I go all the way to down to Orange County to see Duncan.

  Which you are about to stop doing when school starts.

  I know.

  You won’t even invite him to your house. Adrian spent two nights in mine.

  Kallie smiled sheepishly at her, caught out.

  Janice turned away from the mirror and her own suspicion that she was chickening out. She pulled on a t-shirt and a slim pair of leggings and wandered out into the kitchen to snoop through the fridge. She craved chocolate, but there was nothing in the house.

  She lay on the sofa. One o’clock on a Tuesday. Ten days and four hours until the boys returned. Then she’d be able to shake this restlessness. Then school started. She’d be busy soon.

  The doorbell rang. She started in surprise. She went to the hall and peeked out the eye hole. A giant bunch of flowers?

  She swung the door open.

  There had to be dozens of long-stemmed roses staring out at her from green tissue paper. Blue-tipped roses. She’d never seen blue roses.

  “Yes?” she inquired.

  “They symbolize hope for an unattainable love.”

  Janice’s heart stopped.

  “Adrian?”

  He moved the flowers away from his face.

  “Am I invited in?”

  “Of course,” Janice stepped back and Adrian entered with his armful of flowers. Their sensual scent invaded the house.

  “I didn’t know anything like blue roses existed.”

  “I didn’t know anyone like you existed.”