A Need So Insatiable

by Cecilia Robert

  “Sophie,” he murmurs hoarsely against my ear. “My lifesaver, my everything.”

  The pillows are suddenly yanked from under me. I slump down. His body follows mine, deliciously heavy on my back. His fingers increase the pace. In. Out. In. Out. He does something with his thumb--I think--touches a particular spot, swirls, presses, and I’m flying, panting, whimpering, calling his name, cursing and laughing and loving him. If anyone had told me a human body could expend so many different emotions in one go, I’d have thought they were mad. He slips his hand under my waist, rolling me over so he’s holding me as I come down from the high.

  He nudges my head to the side, and meshes his mouth with mine, his kiss sizzling, his erection huge and burning into my back. He pulls away, his chest rising and falling.

  “I want to take care of you,” I say.

  “No.”

  He sits up, and moves my body, rearranging me. He breathes raggedly with the effort of holding himself back. Finally, he spreads my hair on the pillow. I squirm, feeling very exposed, wanting to hide from his hungry gaze. At the slight shake of his head, I stop moving. Then he kneels on the bed and grabs his dick, moving his hand up and down. His eyes rove over me as he slides his hand along his shaft, then settle on my eyes.

  He pumps his hand faster, his jaw set, his forehead beaded with sweat. He snags his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes never leaving mine as he seeks his own release. He growls deeply and, even as he comes in his hand, his gaze never wavers. In my limited experience with sex, I’d never seen that before. I feel a connection in that moment, as if we’d just raced to the finish line together.

  He closes his eyes, trying to control his breathing. I roll over and grab tissues from the box on the nightstand to clean him.

  Oh my! He’s semi-hard and at attention, a warrior ready to storm the walls of a castle. Doesn’t it ever retreat like other men’s do?

  He chuckles and I look up to find him staring at me lazily, like a well-fed lion. “Your fault.”

  Oh, well, in that case . . .

  “I love you so much,” he says in a guttural voice that has my insides clenching. “Staring at you spread in front of me . . . mine, Sophie. Always mine. Tell me you’re mine.” His voice is insistent, pleading, desperate.

  That’s the first time he’s said he loves me, and the words, combined with that rough voice, send the mother of all shivers cascading down my back

  I dispose of the tissues and slide back in bed, running my fingers along his abs, up his arms, my eyes following my hands. I can feel his eyes on my face, but I keep mine on his body. Watching the muscles twitch with every touch. My fingers flutter to a halt over the scars on his shoulder and chest. He shudders, closing his eyes, and sucks in a breath, deep lines forming on his forehead, almost like he’s in pain..

  “What happened?” I ask, leaning down to press my lips on the one on his shoulder, moving lower to the one on his chest.

  “Accident,” he says, his voice low and tortured. He opens his eyes to look at me. Any lingering signs of lust are gone from his face, replaced by pain and wariness.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I ask. He stares at me for several seconds, different emotions flashing across his face.

  He shakes his head. “I’m not ready to. Come on, let me hold you. I just want to hold you.” He reaches out for me, and I willingly scoot up beside him. He’s scarred inside and out, and I wish I could fix it for him. But as much as I’m curious to know how he got his scars, I won’t push him.

  I lift his hand from my belly, kiss his palm and link my fingers with his. “I love you too, Rafael. I’ve always been yours.”

  Sophie

  WHEN I wake, Rafael’s gone. Not the walk-of-shame kind of gone. No. He’s flying to Prague for a concert to benefit children with dyslexia, and will be back tomorrow. In his place is a pink note, lying on the pillow.

  I read the childlike scrawl and smile. It hasn’t changed much over the years.

  My darling Sophie,

  There are a million roads that lead to a million other places. A road to forgetfulness and the effort of drowning your past; a road to fuck-ups and having to move on. But there’s only one true road that leads to what I’ve been searching for. The one that brings me to you: my love, my everything.

  Yours,

  Arie.

  I glance at the clock: 9:30 a.m. At least it’s Saturday and I don’t have anything urgent to do. Just prowling people’s yard sales for my next antique-furniture project. The eBay bid for the rocking chair ended two days ago and the winner will be dropping by my place later today to pick it up.

  I stretch on the bed, smiling, thinking about last night. My body heats up and I squirm at the memory of how his talented hands and mouth felt on my skin. God, Rafael is a freakin’ beast in bed.

  Shifting, I grab my phone to check for any messages or missed calls. I find a text from Lilli. She slept over at Jace’s like we’d discussed. I scroll down the list and open one from Ben. Tony finally agreed to stay with him. Kravic hasn’t shown up, so we’re assuming he doesn’t know the boy is missing from his Crowd.

  Shit. I need to talk to Rafael about Tony when he returns.

  I sit up and glimpse another note on the nightstand, a Mastercard lounging beside it. I grab the note, read it and scowl.

  Seriously? “Buy Lilli the plane ticket”? Are we in a fucking Pretty Woman remake?

  Ugh!

  I grab my phone and text him: “I had some money saved for the ticket.”

  I wait. Five minutes later, I decide to hoist my well-loved body out of bed and into the shower. When I come back, I check my phone for messages. There are two missed calls. I redial the number the same time Rafael calls again.

  I swipe the screen to answer.

  “Use the card, Sophie.”

  Irritation spikes. “No ‘hello’? Just ‘use the card, Sophie,’” I say, imitating his deep voice. “No ‘please’?”

  “Sophie, you need the money, and I have it. Use it,” he says in that arrogant voice he’s so capable of unleashing. “Please.”

  “I had money saved for the ticket.”

  “Hold on a sec,” he says. He speaks to someone in Czech, then switches quickly back to English. Seconds later, the background noises fade. “Sophie? We don’t need to argue about this.”

  “Shit, Rafael. Just because we’re sleeping together--well, almost sleeping together--doesn’t mean I have to accept your word as final. You need to realize I’m capable of doing stuff myself.”Even though I’m broke, and his money would come in very handy . . . “Lilli and I have survived this long without any extra help from you.”

  He groans, and I can picture him rubbing his neck like he does when he’s frustrated. “I didn’t mean it like that. I know you’re capable. That’s one of the reasons I love and respect you so much. Look, I want to take care of you--”

  “You are. You’ve been there for me and Lilli--”

  “And not just with sex. You love me, and I love you. Shouldn’t that count for something?”

  Oh, he’s good, throwing the love line in there. “I just need you to understand that I can do things on my own, and that you need to ask me first before throwing money at me. I need to know I earned it, you know?”

  He sighs. “That wasn’t my intention, I’m sorry. Please, please use the card to buy the ticket. Please.”

  “If I didn’t love you so much, your clothes would be on the front lawn right now.” My heart expands with feelings. He might be all “do this and do that”, but he means well. He just has to learn that I’m not easy to order around.

  He chuckles. “Thank God for small mercies. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Sophie. Let me know when Lilli’s flight is.”

  “I will. Bye.”

  Rafael

  STAYING AWAY from Vienna, from Sophie, is becoming increasingly painful. I can’t close my eyes without picturing her coming apart in my arms, seeing her beautiful, gold eyes brighten when she laughs, or
her strength when it comes to protecting the ones she loves. She’s like a damn saint in my book. Well, a wicked, naughty saint. It’s been almost two and half months since that stupid bet with Hawk. He must be laughing his ass off in Barcelona. I still can’t believe he asked her to be his date to the “Adopt Me, I’m a Pet” dinner gala.

  I scowl at the contents in my glass. It’s apple juice--unheard of--so I can keep my head clear while I struggle to make the decision I’ve been avoiding. My phone starts to ring, startling me, and I pluck it from the polished bar. My aggravation doubles as I stare at the name flashing on the screen.

  “I’m going to kill you,” I say.

  “Well, hello to you too, Grumpy. Who messed with Snow White?” Hawk laughs at his own joke.

  “You’re such a dick.”

  “As if you don’t have one,” he says, chortling. “How’s Sophie?”

  “Did you call me to gloat?” I say, shifting on the stool as the image of her beautiful hair spread on the pillow saunters into my head. “She’s great.”

  “You haven’t done anything, have you? Like, have sex with her?”

  “Oh, we did. Fucked her ten ways to Sunday, until she was screaming my name,” I say, really wishing I could do just that. “I’m lusty, not stupid, Hawk. I’m still celibate. But know this--after the Adopt Me gala, all bets are off.”

  “You haven’t touched her? Even a little bit?” he asks, disbelief clear in his voice.

  “Want the details?”

  “So, you touched her.”

  I sigh. “Truth? I couldn’t not touch her.”

  “Sex?”

  “No.” That’s a line I will not cross. “Did you call for something specific, or just to interrogate me about my non-existent sex life?”

  “That, and to ask how Sophie’s doing with the Club Illicit preparations.”

  “She’s a pro. She’s organized everything really fast, considering the short notice Braden gave us.”

  “Damn Braden and his Irish temper,” Hawk murmurs into the phone. “What about Kravic?”

  “I’m planning on telling her soon.”

  He takes a deep breath. “How did she take the other news?”

  “Surprisingly well. I can’t believe that girl. Christ, Hawk. She took everything in stride.” I shake my head, then tell him why she hadn’t remembered me.

  “You’re one lucky bastard, you know that? You storm into her life and bam! You have the girl of your dreams. What about Olivia?”

  Suddenly, I’m tired to the bone. All I want to do is drink myself into a coma and let life drift by. “I’m not sure how to tell her.”

  “You have to figure that part out, soon. You want her back in your life? You know the stakes. Don’t want to tell her? Then leave her the hell alone, because either way, this will end badly. Better sooner than later.” He grunts in what I guess is frustration. “Look, Raf. Sophie is a good girl, and I’d have her in a heart--”

  “Have her? What the hell, Hawk?” Furniture scrapes on the floor, and I turn around to find a group of students staring at me with wide eyes.

  “Don’t roar at me. You didn’t wait for me to finish what I was saying. Anyway, she’s not my type, but glad to know where your heart is.” He laughs.

  “I hate you right now.”

  “I never said I loved you, either, bro.”

  “Are we done?” I say, standing and moving to the counter to settle my bill, too cagey to summon the waiter.

  “Oh. Yes,” he says. “We are. Until next week.”

  I swipe the button to disconnect the call, and just stand there. Panting. Thinking. Hawk’s right, damn him. I knew this would come sooner rather than later.

  My flight leaves at seven in the morning. But I can’t stay still long enough to close my eyes. I feel confined in this room.

  After making a few phone calls, I pack my suitcase and take a taxi to Downtown Prague to pick up my rental car. I pause long enough to buy the motorway Vignette in a gas station before I turn down the D1, heading toward Brno.

  I try to keep below the required seventy-five miles per hour. But the highway is congested, forcing me to slow down several times. I have about two hundred and five miles of thinking to help calm my nerves before I reach Vienna.

  It takes about four and half hours, and by five in the morning, I’m outside Sophie’s house. The Sedan is parked on the street.

  Shit. I don’t have a key.

  I glance at the lavender pot plants below the window on my right. Is there a chance it might be under one of them?

  I lift several of the pots, but find nothing. There’s no way I’m leaving without seeing her. Not after I’ve driven all this way just to be with her.

  Lifting my hand, I ring the bell.

  Minutes later, the door cracks open. Sophie peeks through the small space, looking sleepy and confused. She shuts the door and I hear the clink of the chain as she unhooks it.

  “You’re home early,” she says, yawning.

  My stomach clenches at the word ‘home’. I tug her to me and kiss her before pulling back. Damn. She looks more beautiful than ever with her hair tangled and an ugly, grey t-shirt hanging off her shoulder.

  “I am.”

  “Good. I missed you.” She moves away from my arms. “Hurry up and come to bed.”

  I shake off my shoes and jacket. Then link my fingers with hers. Seconds later, I’m in her room, stripping down to my boxers. I’ve dealt with anger, revenge, hate, love. Basically every emotion out there. But feeling like she’ll slip through my fingers if I’m not near her? That I have to hold on to her because she’s the only person who can offer me redemption? That’s new.

  “Hey.” Her voice is hoarse as she turns to face me, and nothing has ever sounded so good. “What happened?”

  I tighten my arms around her waist. I wish there was a way to imprint her on my skin, so I could always have her with me. Stop the ache. “I couldn’t stay away.”

  I tuck her head under my chin. “Sophie . . . you know I love you, right?”

  She nods. “I know you’re crazy about me.” She giggles, and the lump in my throat eases. “Remind me to give you a key, so you can let yourself in whenever you come over.”

  “Aha, the key,” I say.

  “You’ve earned it, lover of mine.” She giggles again. I kiss her hair and just hold her, thinking about Hawk’s words.

  One more day, then I’ll tell her. I just need one more day with her.

  Sophie

  “I’LL CLEAR the table,” Lilli says right after dinner, shocking me. Rafael had gotten delayed in a meeting, so we’d ended up at my house ,and I’d made dinner for all of us while he discussed the Adopt Me gala with Hawk. She glances at Rafael, sprawled on the sofa with his eyes half-closed. “Go have fun.”

  “Lilli? You in there?” I say, ducking to stare into her eyes.

  She giggles. “You haven’t had fun in years. Too busy always looking out for me. Didn’t you think I’d notice?” she says, washing off the plates and placing them inside the dishwasher. “Besides, the way he looks at you . . .” She shakes her head and smiles.

  “How does he look at me?”

  “Like he wants to do very, very bad things to you and he’s just waiting for you two to be alone,” she whispers the last word like it’s a huge secret.

  Torrents of shivers scatter all over my body. “How old are you again?”

  She laughs, and nudges me toward Rafael. “Go. Go.”

  I grab his hand, head to the door, and hand him his jacket before putting on mine. He quirks a brow in question. I don’t answer. Instead, I pull him out the front door and sit on the steps, looking up.

  “I don’t remember the last time I sat out here to watch the stars.”

  He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him. “The last time I did was with you. Lying on the grass over there.” He points at the patch by the apple tree.

  We sit in silence, listening to the breeze whisper through the trees alon
g the street.

  “Let’s play Three Truths,” I say.

  He lifts an eyebrow. “What is this, confession time?”

  “Something like that.” I snuggle closer and look up at his strong jaw. “Scared?”

  “Of a little truth?” His eyes shutter, and he drops his gaze to look at me. “No. I’m afraid you might run away when you find mine out, though.”

  “I don’t scare easily.”

  “So I noticed.” He cocks his head to one side and stares at me, as if contemplating what he should say. “You go first.”

  “I like kissing you.”

  “I know.” He sounds smug. “What’s not to like? I’m a good kisser.”

  “Let’s keep that ego in check.” I chuckle, feeling his chest vibrate as he laughs. “Your turn.”

  “I like kissing you, too.”

  “Really? Want to kiss me now?” I ask, pressing closer.

  He shifts, cups my face with his free hand, and lowers his head. He licks his lower lip, and nips mine, then traces it with his tongue. “Tempting. Very tempting.” He pulls back, leaving me wanting. “Your turn. This time, I’ll ask the question.”

  “Not the rule.”

  He shrugs. “New rules. What’s your darkest, sweetest fantasy?” His arm leaves my shoulder, moving down and under my jacket so he can press his palm against my ribcage. I almost shoot off the step, but he holds me back. He slides that wicked hand down my legs, its heat blasting me through my stockings. “I love this dress. So accessible. Tell me.”

  “Uh . . . I---” This is so freaking embarrassing and difficult. He squeezes my knee.

  “Having sex in an elevator,” I say, my gaze focused on the front gate.

  “Elevator, huh? Doable.”

  I swing my gaze to stare at him. He flashes a boyish grin at me.

  “Doable?”

  He nods.

  “What’s yours?”

  “You, in an elevator.” He winks.

  “Third truth,” I say quickly. I’m not about to start anything while Lilli’s inside the house. I need a safer topic. Something normal. “Tell me what happened after your parents died.”