I Need You Too: Stand Alone Novel, Contemporary-Erotic-Suspenseful Romance, Psychological Thriller

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  Her hands rose up to push the hair out of my face as she nodded. “I’m on the Depo-Provera shots. I just had one a week ago. I was last tested a few months after I left James. I haven’t been with anyone prior to him or anyone since him.”

  I was in awe that someone in the BDSM lifestyle would have such limited experience. I would file this information away for another time.

  I rose up taking in the sight of Marjorie in my bed, her auburn hair fanned out against my pillows. Her nipples were already puckered into hardened points. Her breasts were not too small or too big, just slightly more than a handful and perfect in my opinion. I bent down and took one of her dusty pink nipples into my mouth as I palmed the other breast, rolling the nipple between my fingers. A soft moan and a slight squirm told me she enjoyed this. “Tell me if you don’t like what I’m doing or if you’d rather I do it a little differently. I need to know what you want. I want to bring you the ultimate pleasure experience.”

  I went to work on her nipples, nipping at them with my teeth, sucking on them and rolling them with my tongue, biting them and pulling back causing them to make a popping sound when they left my mouth. The more I worked over her breasts, the more she squirmed and the stronger her arousal became in the air around us. It was an enthralling aroma of vanilla with a subtlety of musk. I was never a big fan of going down on women, tasting their essence, but I craved the taste of Marjorie.

  My lips and tongue drew a path down past her breasts and to her belly button where I licked the outer edges and nipped at her tummy. I continued down past her mound, “I like that this is so smooth.” I kissed her skin reverentially, taking in the dewy appearance of her outer lips and becoming overwhelmed by the sweet aroma.

  I’d heard most men complain about their women tasting salty, sweaty, and pungent in aroma. Not Marjorie. One lick of her essence was all it took to turn me into an addict, and I craved more of her sweet nectar.

  I licked a path from her center to the hardened nub of her clit, sucking it into my mouth as my finger found her entrance. I traced a circle around her center, feeling how tight she was. I couldn’t believe this sensual creature had not been with anyone other than her ex. I pressed forward. I slipped my finger into her tight sheath, feeling her muscles grab hard onto me, pulling me in deeper.

  Marjorie’s hands fisted the sheets as her back arched off the bed – a moan of pleasure escaping her lips. “Oh, God! Yes.” She was so tight, already pulsating on the edge of an orgasm. I’d need to make her come a couple of times if I had any hope of fitting inside her without causing her discomfort.

  “You smell and taste so wonderful, love.” I spoke against her clit as my finger began pushing back and forth inside her. “You’re so tight. I need to make you come a couple of times to loosen you up so I’ll fit. I’m going to make this first time fast. Are you okay with that?”

  Her voice was strained, already on the edge of an orgasm, barely holding back. “I need you inside me. Do whatever you have to do.”

  My mouth descended onto her clit, sucking her nubbin hard into my mouth as my finger curled up to seek out her g-spot. I found the bundle of nerves and pressed hard against them, causing her to seize up before pulsating hard against my finger. I could feel her essence spill out over my hand. I continued to press on her clit to help her ride out the first of many orgasms that I hoped to deliver tonight.

  I watched as her breathing began to settle and her core relaxed around my finger, allowing me to slip another inside. I laid my head against her stomach, staring up at her sweet face; a face I wouldn’t mind waking up to every morning. “You look beautiful when you come, darling. I need to bring you to orgasm again before I can slip inside you. You don’t have to be quiet on my account. I could see you trying to stifle your release.” I scissored my fingers inside her, forcing her to let out a moan of ecstasy. “Let me hear you take your pleasure.”

  I pushed her thighs further apart, granting me more access. Her center sheathed both of my fingers and was starting to pulse around me. I slowly added a third and felt her grip me hard, pulling me further inside her. I took the thumb of my hand and circled hard against her clit, wanting to watch more closely for any clues she’d give up as I brought her to the edge again.

  I could see her fighting to hold in her pleasure. I’d heard Nate mention that a well-trained submissive would hold in their orgasm until given permission to release it. She’d fought the first one; it stood to reason Marjorie had been trained to fight each one. I guess it was time for me to take a step into a more dominant role. “I want you to come for me, Marjorie. Let me catch you. Come for me, now!” I asserted my voice on the last remark, which instantly had her screaming out and clenching hard around my fingers. My god she was going to feel good against my dick.

  I continued the pressure on her clit as my fingers pulled in and out of her center, helping her ride out her orgasm. I’d love to push in, but given the strength of her walls and how they latched onto my fingers, there’s no way I could last long, not until her aftershocks subsided.

  Marjorie’s legs went lax, and I began to crawl up the length of the bed, slowly kissing my way up to her thighs. She was panting heavily, trying hard to regain her normal breathing. I kissed each of her lips, then nibbled on her chin, letting her feel my erection pressed hard against her inner thigh. “If you’re too tired, we can stop this for tonight and pick back up in the morning.” I kissed her neck and rotated my hips, wondering how she’d respond, waiting for her answer.

  Her hands came around my neck, pulling my lips down to hers, and kissing me hard while her tongue thrust deep into my mouth. I rose up to where I could take in her expression, “So we’re going to wait until tomorrow?” I teased, a smile spreading across my face.

  “Like hell we will!” I couldn’t believe the boldness of my little Marjorie. There was a firecracker in there somewhere waiting to be let out. Her legs came up and wrapped around my waist, aligning us perfectly. I could easily enter her at this new angle.

  I moved to her center, taking my cock in hand and rubbing it against her moisture to help our connection go as smoothly as possible. I pressed forward, just an inch, already feeling her start to clench around me. I pulled back and pressed in again, gaining a couple more inches and feeling her tense. “Breathe for me, love. Go into your mind, find your happy place where you can relax and let your body go.”

  A smile spread across her face and I could feel her body relax against me, allowing me to push all the way in. I’d thought I wouldn’t be able to fill her completely, given how petite she was in stature, but she took all nine inches. I stilled myself, letting her acclimate to my size. When I felt her center relax, I started to move. I couldn’t hold out any longer because she felt too good to be true.

  She tried to caress me with her hands, but it pulled my train of thought away from providing her pleasure. I finally took both of her hands in one of mine, lifting them above her head and picked up the pace. Her hips began to meet me thrust for thrust as her breathing kicked up.

  The expression on Marjorie’s face was one I would cherish forever. Her eyes were focused on me as we both climbed to the precipice together. Her body felt so good joined with mine; I couldn’t distinguish where I ended and she began. It felt so right, so natural. I saw the signs of her orgasm teetering on the edge, while mine was barely contained. I lowered my face to hers, placing a gentle kiss upon her lips as I whispered, “Come for me, Marjorie, lets fall together.”

  I covered her mouth with my own, absorbing her cries of pleasure as she gripped my cock tightly, forcing my own release. I’d never felt so free, so driven by a sexual encounter in my life. I’d fought the feelings I’d had for Marjorie long enough. Now that I had a sample of what we could be like together, I knew I’d do anything to keep her with me. She needed me, but I needed her too.

  I could no longer hold myself above her and collapsed into the crook of her neck, trying to keep my weight off to one side so I wouldn’t crush her. Neither
one of us could speak; we were both out of breath and spent. I tried to pull out, but her legs held on tight to me, not wanting to sever our bond.

  We lay like that for some time, until I felt myself soften and her legs fall to the side. I reached up, caressing the side of her face, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” She hadn’t ushered a word and it scared me. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her harm or make her think of the horrid things her ex had done to her.

  Her eyes were closed, but her lips lifted at the corners as she smiled. “I’m fine just very sated and happy at the moment.”

  I kissed each of her eyelids, her nose, and then gave a long sensual kiss to her mouth before I got up from the bed. She started to protest, but I promised I’d return. I went into the bathroom to get a washcloth and wet it with warm water. When I walked back over to the bed, I admired how peaceful and beautiful Marjorie looked. She was almost glowing from the perspiration we’d worked up during our activities.

  She must have been headed toward slumber because she jumped when I parted her legs and wiped away the product of our encounter. I’d never had sex with anyone without the use of a condom before. It was an empowering sight to see my release trickle down the inside of her leg. I felt the inner caveman in me wanting to mark her as mine, wanting to see her ripe with my child inside her. Dude. Chill! You need to calm your inner beast. Take this one step at a time. You’re just starting out in a relationship; one that you’re not sure can survive all that’s happened. Remember your mantra – one step at a time, one day at a time.

  I dismissed my thoughts as I continued to clean her and then myself. I threw the cloth in the hamper and crawled into bed beside her, pulling the covers over both of us as I reached out and pulled her to me. We lay on our sides, my front to her back, as I stroked her hair reassuringly and reached for the light.

  As soon as I turned it off, she jumped, her elbow nearly hitting me in the ribs. I panicked. Was she having a trigger? Was she having a panic attack? What the hell was going on? “Shhh. It’s okay, Marjorie, it’s just me, Ethan.”

  She shook her head. “I’m sorry, I need a night light or some form of light to sleep so I can see what’s around me. He used to make me sleep with a blindfold on, in total darkness, claiming that I’d be more receptive to his advances should he get aroused in the night.”

  Damn, that bastard. From what Kent and Dane had told me today, he wasn’t a Dom, but a controlling son of a bitch. I turned the lights back on to a low level, noting that I’d ask the security team to purchase a few night lights to put around the place tomorrow. It was actually a good idea, since I’d run into several pieces of furniture on more than one occasion. Plus, I wasn’t a fan of the dark either. “I’ll see if we can get someone to pick some up tomorrow. Maybe a little light will help me block out the memories of the accident.”

  Marjorie settled down, letting me hold her close. It continued to amaze me, despite her being nearly a foot shorter, our bodies seemed to perfectly fit to one another. It’s almost as if we’d been made for each other, two parts of a whole.

  I could feel her breaths even out as she started to drift off toward slumber. I kissed her neck and breathed in the aroma of her shampoo. “I think I’m falling for you,” I whispered against her ear.

  My eyelids grew heavy, and I felt myself slowly drifting out of consciousness when she mumbled, “I’m already in love with…” Her words faded out as a soft snore took its place. My body was sated, my heart was hopeful, and my mind felt in control for the first time in forever.

  I AWOKE WITH A start, looking around the room and feeling the warmth of someone’s hand running up and down my spine. I almost jumped, still a bit disoriented from my sleep, when realization dawned on me. I was in Ethan’s bed.

  Warm lips pressed against my shoulder. He leaned over and kissed his way up to the side of my mouth. “Good morning, sunshine.”

  My mind spun out of control wondering how long Ethan had been awake? Was the sheet covering enough of my back so he wouldn’t see? Could I get to my shirt and pull it on without him seeing things?

  I spun onto my back and looked up at his face, which was full of warmth and sporting a bit of scruff this morning. He had total bed hair, but it was super sexy on him, making me want to run my fingers through it.

  He leaned down and rubbed our noses together before kissing the end of mine. “Gosh, you look sexy in the morning.” He rose up over me, teasing the corners of my mouth with his teeth, nipping at the edges but never fully kissing me on the mouth.

  He ran circles over my shoulder and down to one of my breasts with his fingers while one leg slipped between mine. His morning arousal pressed against my inner thigh. “Why are you trying to hide your back? Are those the marks HE put on you? The ones that Kent and Carol had to stitch up?”

  I felt defeated and tried to turn away, but he blocked me from moving, caging me into the mattress. I looked up to him to see him shaking his head. “I told you, only honesty between us, no hiding anything. Whatever it is, we can get through this together.”

  “But?” I wanted to hide, argue my way out of this, something other than deal with things. We were just getting started, already dealing with a ton of conflict at the beginning of this relationship, or whatever you’d like to call it.

  He shook his head. “But nothing, Marjorie. Don’t start shutting me out.” He moved off of me to the side, slapping lightly at my outer thigh. “I want you to turn over and get up on your hands and knees so I can look at your back.”

  I threw my hand over my eyes, hoping that maybe if I ignored him, he’d go away. No such luck. I felt him lift my arm away and come into my line of sight with a tender smile upon his face. “How about we trade? You show me your scars, and I’ll show you mine.”

  Had I not seen all of his scars? I knew he wore long swim trunks to cover up most of the damage done to his leg during the accident. I’d seen the scars below the hemline. Were they worse above? He was never seen without at least a wife-beater shirt on, except for last night when he went shirtless, but I was too enamored to really pay attention to anything beyond the appeal of his physique and aquatic smell. Did he have more scars I didn’t know about?

  He slapped playfully at my thigh again, trying to get me to move. “Hey, I’m thinking about it.” I argued as my hand came up and brushed against the scruff of his face.

  I took a deep breath in, telling myself that if I dared move from the bed, he’d see them anyway. “Fine. You win.”

  Ethan shocked me by going first. He sat up and turned his back to me. “Feel free to ask questions.”

  I sat up and ran my hands over the wide expanse of his back. What he lacked muscle wise in his legs, he’d definitely made up for with lifting weights while in his wheelchair and using the crutches. I looked for any sign of injury. When I finally saw his scars at the small of his back, I began tracing the lines with my fingers. “What happened here?”

  He looked back over his shoulder as he answered, “The accident caused me to have a couple ruptured discs at the base of my spine. They had to go in and fuse it together. It was minor compared to the leg, but I do have some scars there. I can’t see them myself, so I don’t know how bad they look, only that they’re there to remind me of things.”

  “If my fingers hadn’t encountered some ridges, I’d never know they were back here. Your surgeon left minimal scaring.” As I said this, I noticed the tattoo on his upper right shoulder. I knew he had one, just never paid much attention to it until now. I had to admit the appeal of knowing each other’s bodies intimately. Was this why he wanted to see every part of me?

  I moved closer to see that it was a small black heart with some kind of writing underneath. My breath caught when I realized it was a memorial to my cousin Gabi. Her name was etched in small cursive with the date of her death. My voice shook as I lightly traced the tattoo, asking, “Why did you do this? Does Jackson or anyone else know about it?”

  His shoulders fell forward before he n
odded his head yes. “Nate knows. He saw it shortly after I got it.” He took a deep breath in, “You have to understand that up until yesterday I’ve believed I could’ve had some control over that accident. I finally realized, while listening to Carol explain the effects of GHB on people, that there was nothing I could’ve done. I thought that because I still had the capacity to think, I could’ve prevented the accident by pulling the car over.”

  My heart hurt for him. Now I understood why he looked down for so long. He had been mentally beating himself up over the accident for almost two years now. “You know it’s not your fault, right? Can you finally accept that?”

  He nodded, reaching back to grip my hand that was still hovering at his shoulder. “I’m slowly coming to terms with that. It’s kind of hard to change your way of thinking overnight.” He looked back at me and added, “I got this because I wanted to be a marked man, having to live with the knowledge that I took a life. I wanted the burden of that on my shoulders, literally, so I’d never forget how greatly I changed your family’s lives.”

  I leaned forward, kissing his tattoo and holding tighter to his hand. I worked my lips up the side of his neck, biting softly behind his ear, making a low rumble emanate from the back of his throat. “You’re playing with matches there, darling.”

  I licked at the lobe of his ear, “I think the tattoo is sweet, but you didn’t need to do that to yourself. Everyone in our family forgives you and believes you to be just as much a victim as Gabi. I know Jackson has had a hard time coming to terms with things, but he’s making progress.” I leaned back, kissing his tattoo again before placing my head atop his shoulder. “It’s time you forgive yourself and move on. Eventually, he’ll forgive you too. I think he’s on the verge of that realization anyway.”

  Ethan turned back toward me, lying on his side, where I could see the full length of his body. The muscles in his chest were hard and sinewy, giving me thoughts of licking every inch of him, right down to his happy trail. My eyes traveled south, seeing him already at attention. His words penetrated my thoughts, “See what you do to me, love? Just one thought of you, one look at your gorgeous body and I’m hard.”