Bittersweet Ecstasy

by Taylor, Janelle

  Times and peoples had changed in the nearby Blackfeet camp, too. Long ago, Brave Bear had been slain in valiant battle and Chela had died in childbirth with Singing Wind, leaving their four children in the care of others: Redbird and Deer Eyes, the oldest girls, had been raised by the shaman; Silver Hawk had been rasied by the war chief; and Singing Wind, their youngest, had been reared by the tribe’s head chief, Medicine Bear.

  Gossip said that Redbird had lived with the medicine man, as his mistress the whites would say, until he was shamed into asking her to become his third wife, but she astonishingly had refused. Deer Eyes, a girl loved by all who met her, had chosen to remain as the shaman’s helper, not wanting anyone’s pity for her physical disabilities. Silver Hawk, who at twenty-seven found himself joined to the barren Cheyenne maiden Shining Feather, was rumored to be seeking a second wife, and further rumors whispered that Tashina had captured his eye. Shalee hoped that gossip was not true, for Silver Hawk was nothing like his father Brave Bear; but then, she admitted to herself, the boy had been only five when his father was slain and he had been denied Brave Bear’s influence and guidance. Shalee supposed it was natural for a man to be bitter over the loss of his heritage and rank, as Silver Hawk was, even though he concealed his feelings.

  Shalee hoped that Chela’s blood did not run too swiftly and turbulently in Singing Wind, who as a child of nine had tended Rebecca’s needs after her miscarriage in the Blackfeet camp. Singing Wind was beautiful and tempting, full of life and energy. She could turn most men’s heads, and many warriors were pursuing her. But Singing Wind did not appear ready or willing to settle down yet. Clearly she loved her freedom and wanted to be a female warrior. Raised in a tepee of males, she had learned to ride, shoot, fight, and hunt. She was like a wild creature, one who was sensual and earthy. Shalee had realized that Sun Cloud could not keep his eyes and thoughts off that particular vixen. Often, Shalee had wondered if she should encourage that match and union, or if she should wait until those two settled down a little more. There was no doubt in Shalee’s mind that they were well suited for each other, just as there was no doubt that both were resisting their attraction.

  Since Shalee’s—Alisha Williams had lived as Shalee for over forty years and would die as Shalee—arrival in this forbidden land, many friends and family members had been slain and many villages had been destroyed. The threat of the whites was growing rapidly like a fatal disease that seemed determined to consume all Indians in its path. For the whites to obtain a quick or final victory, they had to defeat the “Sioux”; and to defeat the “Sioux,” they had to defeat Gray Eagle and the Oglalas. Only one white leader had obtained a real treaty with the Indians, and many now prayed for the return and help of Derek Sturgis.

  Many also prayed for the return of Rebecca Kenny, who had disappeared without a trace last spring. Bright Arrow and his friends had searched for his wife until no hope remained for her rescue and return, yet Bright Arrow and Shalee had been unable to accept Rebecca as dead. Somehow, both felt that the Great Spirit would return Rebecca, who had been given the Indian name Wahea, which meant Red Flower, because of her fiery curls. In the lonely tepee of Bright Arrow, his seventeen-year-old daughter Tashina looked after his chores and cared for him, but Tashina was beautiful and many suitors hungered for her, unaware her heart was lost to a Cheyenne warrior, the son of her father’s best friend. Bright Arrow’s twenty-two-year-old daughter, Little Feet, had married a Sisseton chief years ago; she lived in another village with her husband and two sons, but a warrior in the Oglala camp still remembered, loved, and desired her…

  In the Dakota Territory, it was April of 1820. Fortyfour years had passed since the lives and hearts of Alisha Williams and Gray Eagle had become entwined. Many new perils and adventures awaited the aging lovers and their two sons…

  Chapter One

  Miles from the Oglala camp, the youngest son of Gray Eagle and Shalee eyed tracks which brought a mischievous grin to his handsome face. The warrior’s midnight eyes sparkled with anticipation as he stealthily followed the unconcealed trail which snaked through the forest along the riverbank. Sun Cloud had been told only to discover where the white trappers had made camp to steal the Great Spirit’s creatures from their lands, then return to camp to report their location without endangering his life by attacking them alone. He had obeyed his father’s orders, as he had promised when they had come upon the fresh tracks during their hunting trip, until a new set of prints had urged him to close the distance between him and his foes. A keen hunter, he could read the signs which had been made by someone light of body and wearing Blackfeet moccasins, for each tribe’s leather shoes made a different design upon the face of Mother Earth. At last, he had sighted the person who also had found the white men’s tracks and was furtively following them: Singing Wind, adopted daughter of the Blackfeet chief!

  Sun Cloud’s dark eyes narrowed in annoyance and apprehension as he watched the Indian girl slip from tree to bush to tree as she daringly moved closer to the two trappers. Having observed and heard of her skills, he knew she could hunt, shoot, fight, and ride as well as most braves, but her actions on this day were foolish and perilous. He wondered what she was doing this deep in the forest alone and what had possessed her to behave so impetuously. She might not only endanger her own life, but his as well. If he was forced to protect her, he would be compelled to challenge death to save her.

  His vexation and begrudging respect increased as he secretly watched her cunning and daring. He kept mentally commanding her to give up her reckless pursuit, but she did not. When the trappers reached their camp and joined a third white man, she concealed herself nearby and seemed to be listening to their words; for, like himself and his family, she too knew the white man’s tongue.

  Sun Cloud thought of signaling her with a special bird call, but decided that one of the trappers might recognize it, for many had been taught by traitorous white-loving Indians how to detect a foe’s nearness and plans. He dared not toss a rock or pine cone her way, for she could jump or squeal and alert the men to her presence, and he could imagine what those rough males would do to a beautiful and helpless Indian maiden. The same was true if he sneaked up on her and startled her. For now, it was unwise for him to move any closer or to take any action, so all he could do was watch and wait, and mutely scold Singing Wind for placing them in this predicament.

  As he sat there hidden from his self-proclaimed foes, he knew he could not attack, even if he was one of the chosen bow carriers for his Sacred Bow Cult. The bow carriers were selected and rewarded for being the four highest-ranking warriors of their tribe, along with four staff carriers and two club bearers. The sacred bows were revered by all Dakota tribes, collectively called Sioux by the whites, and were kept in the ceremonial lodge when not in use. All the Dakota believed the bow ceremony was powerful medicine for war and peace, and the choosing and presenting of a sacred bow was done carefully under strict rules. The ten men who were selected for these honors held their ranks until death or relinquishment, for death usually came quickly for them because of their duties. Each of the ten were required to be leaders in battle, to display enormous courage, and to slay at least one enemy during every battle. After a member had acquired numerous coups, he could return his bow, staff, or club with honor. The Sacred Bow Ceremony was nearly as difficult and revered as the Sun Dance, and was done frequently for the same reason: to show loyalty, to fulfill a vow, to seek protection and guidance, and to honor the Great Spirit.

  Time passed, and his patience was tested sorely. He failed to realize it was the fetching view of the Indian beauty, not their precarious positions, which teased at his susceptible flesh and mind, and caused him to grow tense and clammy. She was slim and shapely, a female who tempted a man to seize her and to toss her to his mats, to seduce her with gentleness, leisure, and skill after he had taken her with consuming passion and swiftness to cool the fire in his blood.

  Several times his near-black eyes walked over her bo
dy from shiny midnight mane to leather-clad feet. Surely by now he had memorized every visible inch of her face and body, for he had done such a study many times before. Her hair fell in silky strands to her waist and was usually tucked behind her ears, making her appear younger and displaying her face more fully. Her dark brown eyes always sparkled with some powerful emotion, as she seemed incapable of feeling anything halfway. Her skin was as smooth as the surface of a tranquil pond and was colored like the underbelly of an otter. If there was a mark or flaw upon her body, it did not show, for no one could consider the tiny dark circle upon her throat as anything but eye catching. Each time he noticed it, he wanted to touch it with his lips, then let his tongue play over it before deciding whether to move up or down her body…

  Sun Cloud recalled past days when they had tangled with mischievous words, for he had known her since childhood. She had always been bold of speech and manner, and as a boy in warrior training, it had often angered or challenged him to have a girl question or trail him and try to join in on such events. From what he could tell, Singing Wind had never wished she were a man, but she wanted to be able to do whatever pleased her or whatever needed to be done, even if only men did such things. It had angered her to be told she could not join their games and practices because she was “only a girl.” She had never seemed to accept her place as a female, to the irritation of many and to the disappointment of others. To Singing Wind, anyone with the right skills should be allowed to help or to protect her people. To be fair, perhaps he should not blame her for her untamed character and masculine behavior, for her parents had left her, a baby, in the care of others when they had walked the ghost trail.

  Sun Cloud wished her father, Chief Brave Bear, and mother, Chela, had lived long enough for him to know them, for they had played such vital roles in his parents’ pasts. Singing Wind was twenty-three, a few months older than he was, but she had not known her parents either. Chela had died giving birth to her, and he wondered if that troubled the audacious girl or if that was the reason why she wanted to capture and savor excitement before she risked her own life having children. It had to be frightening and tormenting to know your mother had died giving you life, and that you could die bearing a child. Perhaps this explained why she had rejected all men who had pursued her and did all she could to repel new chases. Her father, Brave Bear, had been slain in battle. Perhaps, no surely, she would be different if she had been raised by her parents instead of Chief Medicine Bear and his sons. Still, one day she had to destroy her wildness and conquer her fears.

  Sun Cloud watched as her hand eased down her leg to brush away an insect, and he wished he could do that simple task for her. The way she was sitting behind the clump of bushes, her buckskin dress was hiked far above her knees, displaying an ample view of lovely thighs. He admired their sleekness and tone. Surely not an ounce of fat lived on that enticing figure, and he grinned and wet his lips.

  As his responsive maleness alerted him to his carnal line of thought, he frowned in vexation. He should not allow his attention to stray when he was so close to an enemy’s camp. Sun Cloud asked himself if he could excuse or deny what others considered flaws in her character, or if it even mattered what other people thought about the girl who caused uncommon stirrings within him. He wondered if she was as spoiled and willful as many alleged, for that was not how he viewed her love of life and adventure or her spirited nature. Many claimed she would never be satisfied to be a mate and mother, that she would distract and harass the strongest of men with her unwomanly antics. A chief, for he would become chief one day, must marry a woman he could be proud to call his own, a woman who would not embarrass him before others, a woman whose purpose in life was to make him happy and to care for their home and family. Many accused Singing Wind of wanting more than her rightful share from life and vowed that she would make herself and her mate miserable! Sun Cloud did not want to believe such words, for he could not deny she was the most desirable creature he had seen and she caused him to think of more than taking her swiftly and casually to ease his manly needs. Surely such a strong woman would make a good wife for a chief, if she could prove the tales about her were untrue or exaggerated. As children of chiefs and members of allied tribes, if she would…

  Sun Cloud stiffened as he watched her pull the knife from its sheath at her slim waist. Her body was on full alert. He thought she was planning to attack the man who had been left to guard the camp while the other two went to check their traps before nightfall, just as he felt they were not far away and their absence would be short. He mused, If she was so clever and skilled, why did she not realize the rashness of such an attack? If she tasted defeat, she could get them both killed, as he could not remain where he was and do nothing.

  Sun Cloud drew his knife and grasped it securely between his teeth. He flattened himself against the ground to crawl to her side, to stop her attack or to defend her, whichever became necessary within the next few minutes. Suddenly he was halted when one of the men returned to camp. He strained to hear the man’s words.

  “We need help, Big Jim. Those traps are full and we have to empty them afore dark. Our camp ain’t in no danger. We didn’t see any Indians or signs of them all day.”

  Sun Cloud was relieved when both men gathered a few items and disappeared into the trees. He was glad Singing Wind was smart enough to know she could not attack two men whose combined sizes would make nearly four of hers. Surely, he reasoned, she would not hang around until they went to sleep to make another attempt to… To what? he asked himself. Did she only want to steal some possession for coup? Get a coup scalp? Prove something to herself or others? No, Singing Wind could not be that foolish.

  The Indian girl looked his way as he inched toward her, making enough noise for her ears alone. Surprise and pleasure crossed her lovely features first, then she quickly concealed her curious reaction. After replacing his knife, he carelessly frowned at her, bringing a look of annoyance to her face. “Why do you trail three large enemies alone in the forest when night is upon you? Go quickly while it is safe,” he whispered between clenched teeth to reveal his displeasure. He hoped she did not read the anxiety in his eyes or hear it in his voice, for a warrior should never expose such weaknesses. Before making his feelings towards her known, he had to make certain she was a unique woman.

  Singing Wind eyed the handsome male, and misread his behavior. Sun Cloud could always get beneath her flesh and her control with a look or a word; that admission worried her, for it was unwise to chase a man who appeared to have little or no interest in her as a woman. For years he had caused a strange warmth and tingle in her with his presence. They were no longer children, but she did not know how to be a woman around him. She had done so many foolish and rash things while finding herself, or by trying to be all she could be. She feared that he believed all those silly tales about her being defiant. Unlike his brother, he was tall and lean, his body appearing all muscle and strength. He had the darkest and most expressive eyes she had ever seen. He always wore his long ebony hair loose, and usually wore only one eagle feather dangling from the back of his head, even though he had earned countless coup feathers. His features were sized and arranged in such a manner as to forcefully and appreciatively draw a woman’s eyes to them. Yes, Sun Cloud set her skin tingling and heart racing, and countless females desired and chased him. Yet he had pursued no female, and certainly not her! Over the years, he spent too much time scolding and shaming and making fun of her to notice she had become a woman! How she wished that he would forget her rebellious years and take a new look at her. How she wished he could understand her. Catching her loss of attention and poise at his close proximity, she defensively sought to dispel his powerful pull. Noticing his seeming displeasure with her, she unwittingly accused, “Why do you trail Singing Wind and seek to prevent a victory over these foes? We cannot sneak away as cowards. You are a Sacred Bow carrier; together, we could defeat them.”

  Sun Cloud’s eyes narrowed in warning at her u
nintentional affront, which made it appear as if she was always picking and poking at him, as if they were still children. He concluded that this little wildcat could have anything and anyone she wanted, including him, if she would sheathe her claws and open her eyes. He unwisely reproached her, “Singing Wind is a fool if she believes she can defeat three men who are as grizzlies to a tiny fawn. Sacred Bow carriers know when to attack and when to wisely retreat. Return home and forget the impossible.”

  “I will return home when I have taken their scalplocks, weapons, and horses,” she rashly informed him, knowing she had been doing nothing more than spying on them to report their actions and location to her people. She had drawn her knife to be prepared to battle any peril which threatened her retreat. She was angered by this particular warrior’s low opinion of her intelligence. What did it matter who discovered and observed their mutual foes? she scoffed mentally. She felt as if he had cornered her and insulted her; now, she must prove her mettle and skills, or slip away as a coward.

  Sun Cloud felt there was no time to argue with this headstrong girl. Without warning, he skillfully delivered a noninjuring blow to her jaw which rendered her unconscious. After replacing her knife in its sheath, he scanned the area for movement from the trappers. Detecting none, he gathered Singing Wind into his arms and vanished along the riverbank. He put a lengthy distance between them before stopping to rest and to revive Singing Wind. He grinned as he dribbled cool water over her face and caused her to awaken with a start, then chuckled as she gathered her wits and glared up at him.