Bittersweet Ecstasy

by Taylor, Janelle

  “I do this each day, my love, but it grows harder.”

  Gray Eagle lovingly stroked her cheek and looked deeply into her green eyes. “No matter the troubles, we have lived a long and good life.”

  She nestled against his chest and murmured, “I am grateful for all we have shared, but I wish our sons to know a little peace and joy.”

  “They will, my love, for the Great Spirit has promised this to me.”

  Tashina returned with their food, for she had been helping a group of women to cook a joint meal, as was their custom on the trail. She looked at her grandparents and their closeness warmed her heart. How she longed to know a love as powerful and passionate as theirs, and she would if she could win Soul-ofThunder’s heart. She glanced around as Eagle’s Arm, Bright Arrow, and Sun Cloud joined them to eat and to sleep. But this was not to be a peaceful night in their camp; she knew this when Silver Hawk and two Blackfeet warriors galloped to the spot where they were preparing to spend the night.

  Shalee asked the warriors if she could fetch food for them, but they were too anxious to eat. She realized that Gray Eagle sensed the news was bad when he asked the warriors to walk with him while they spoke. She noticed how Silver Hawk’s ravenous gaze feasted greedily on the delectable Tashina before he turned to join her husband and sons and Powchutu. Apprehension charged through her like the terror of a runaway horse. Suddenly she scolded herself for her silly fears, for Tashina had lost her heart to another, and her oldest son would never force his precious daughter to wed any man. Perhaps she should speak with Bright Arrow and Gray Eagle about this man who caused such alarming stirrings within her, even if men did not like women to meddle in their affairs and friendships.

  Sitting on large rocks not far from the camp, Silver Hawk explained his abrupt visit. “We captured three soldiers and a Crow scout who have been trailing us for many suns. One was weak in body and courage and we forced him to speak of others who are trailing our brothers. They count the number of warriors in each band and tribe and they mark which paths we take. The white-dogs said we must free them or all would be chased and slain; we silenced their foolish words with death. Chief Medicine Bear said we must ride to warn our brothers as they warned us. The white-dogs are seeking the path of Gray Eagle and the Oglalas. They believe Gray Eagle and the Oglalas are the evil power in our lands, and they offer peace to any tribe who refuses to band with them. They offer many trade goods to any warrior or band who will sneak into your camp and slay you. They believe they can win their war against all Indians when you are dead.”

  Sun Cloud held silent as he observed Silver Hawk’s expression and listened carefully to the man’s tone. He did not like what his keen senses were telling him, for he perceived an undercurrent within this man which was dangerous and too far below the surface for the others to notice in their states of anger and resentment. Warnings throbbed within his head as he comprehended the jealousy toward his father which this warrior was experiencing and attempting to conceal. Yet, he had nothing more than his gut feeling that this man was a threat to Gray Eagle, and it was not enough with which to challenge a famed warrior. For now, he must keep quiet, and alert.

  Bright Arrow stated coldly, “I will slay all bluecoats, and I will slay any or all warriors who are tempted by their devious offer. It is a trick. They know all will lose hope and courage if my father is slain. They seek to turn his allies and brothers against him, to destroy the power and magic of the Indian, to destroy our unity. It will not be so, for his blood also runs within Bright Arrow and Sun Cloud. Even if they found a way to slay him, we would ride in his place.”

  Sun Cloud added, “Yes, we will defend our father’s life with our own. No man will live who becomes a threat to him or our people.”

  Powchutu watched the scene. From past experience, he knew how frightened of Gray Eagle the soldiers and whites were, and he knew what his half brother’s death could mean for the whites in their war against the Indians. It was a clever plot to place a sort of bounty on Gray Eagle’s head. Jeffery Gordon had tried that ploy once, and had died for his recklessness. Over the years, many had tried to eviscerate the heart of the Dakotas, and all had failed. But it was the nature of men to be greedy and rash, and some might be blinded by this lucrative offer of goods and truce. From now on, Gray Eagle and those who loved him must guard his back. He must speak with his nephews about this Blackfeet warrior, for he did not trust the shiny brittleness in the man’s eyes or the tightness in his voice; there was some guarded emotion here to be watched carefully.

  The aging chief gave his orders. “Sun Cloud, go to Big Elk and reveal these things to him. Bright Arrow, take warriors and scout the area for white wolves who sneak around in the shadows. Eagle’s Arm, guard my wife and granddaughter. I will call the council and speak with them. Silver Hawk, will you rest this night with us?”

  “We will take refreshments, then ride to our camp, my second father. Other white-dogs might lurk near the shadows of our camp.”

  “If there is more news or trouble, send word to us. Did Medicine Bear send messages to the other bands?” Bright Arrow inquired.

  “Yes, my friend and brother. Soon, we will ride together against these white foes who sneak around while Wi sleeps.”

  Bright Arrow smiled and clasped arms with Silver Hawk. “We will claim many coups when we ride to victory over the whites, my friend. Come, I will take you to our camp, then obey my father’s command.”

  Silver Hawk and Bright Arrow walked away together, talking excitedly about past and future battles. Gray Eagle headed for the area where White Arrow was camped for the night. Powchutu and Sun Cloud turned and found that they both had been watching Silver Hawk.

  Their intuitive gazes met and they smiled knowingly. “He is a man to watch, Sun Cloud,” the older man advised the young warrior who could have been his son if he had not lingered one day too long at Fort Pierre years ago. Powchutu decided that Sun Cloud was like his father; he was strong and brave, and true to his calling. Shalee, as he had learned to think of and to call Alisha Williams, had told him of the past which would make this warrior chief after Gray Eagle, and he realized it was meant to be. “You have learned well, Sun Cloud. You will become a great chief like your father. Your brother does not see the evil in his friend, and he will suffer for his blindness. Many times a leader must stand alone when he stands above others. Your brother is a good warrior, but he does not have your strength and insight. I see why the Great Spirit chose you to walk after your father. Does your brother truly understand and accept his destiny?”

  “Yes, Eagle’s Arm, he chose his path long ago with knowing. Father told us about his vision which said I was to become the next Oglala chief. When Bright Arrow returned home after his banishment, he agreed to follow me as chief when that moon arrived. He knows that he lost his right to be a chief when he chose his love over his rank. Father said the Great Spirit was kind to give him his white love since he could never be chief. I wish I did not have to be the one who takes what would be his if things were different. As the oldest son, it will be hard for him to see his younger brother lead his people. We do not know why Grandfather replaced Bright Arrow with me, but my brother is not bitter over his loss. Perhaps we will understand this one day. He will obey the will of Wakantanka. Watch Silver Hawk when he is near Tashina,” he suggested meaningfully before they parted.

  Silver Hawk was annoyed when Powchutu seemingly clung to Tashina as a badger to its kill, preventing even one private word with her. He tried everything he could to obtain a moment alone with her, but the older man prevented it. He was even more annoyed when Tashina seemed cool and distant with him, refusing to look at him or to catch his clues for a few stolen minutes. Soon, no one would keep him from her. Soon, Bright Arrow would owe him whatever he chose in payment, and his demand would be Tashina. After she had given him children, if she continued to behave as if she were so repulsed by him, he would get rid of her, for children belonged to their father or to his people.

/>   His anger simmering, Silver Hawk bid them farewell and rode away with his warriors, vowing to have all he desired very soon…

  It was during the night when Sun Cloud was besieged by dreams of Singing Wind. He saw them running through the forest, laughing and playing, but this time not as children. He curled to his side on his sleeping mat and enjoyed the heady dream:

  “You run as swiftly and agilely as a doe, Singing Wind,” he murmured into her ear as he captured her hand and pulled her into his arms. His mouth covered hers and they sank to a soft bed of wildflowers, sharing numerous kisses and caresses which heightened their passions.

  Singing Wind was lying beneath him and gazing up into his face. His eyes roamed her exquisite features and he smiled at the way her sleek hair was spread upon the ground. His fingers wandered over her supple flesh, and he suddenly realized that they were naked and their bodies were pressed snugly together. “I have craved this moment and waited for it too long, my love. You must be mine, Singing Wind.”

  Stroking his cheek, she replied, “I have craved you and waited longer to win you than you have done for me, Sun Cloud, for you forced me to chase you many years before you noticed I had become a woman. I wish to be yours forever.” She pulled his head downward and sealed their lips in a pervasive kiss.

  Sun Cloud could feel her hands caressing his body and increasing his great hunger for hers. He ached to possess her. As he tossed upon his sleeping mat in rising need, he was awakened. His respiration was rapid and sweat glistened on his face and chest beneath the moon. He knew he had to end this bittersweet yearning for her, and there was only one way: win her and take her.

  In the Blackfeet camp, a similar incident was occurring with Singing Wind, as if their subconscious minds were drawing them together. She watched as Sun Cloud rode up to her, swept her into his arms, and raced away with her. They galloped for a long time, allowing the sun and wind to tease over their susceptible bodies and free their spirits.

  She did not halt Sun Cloud or feel embarrassed when he removed their garments; then they were lying on a fuzzy buffalo mat beneath sensuously swaying trees. The heady scents of nature filled their nostrils, and they laughed joyfully. She became breathless and fiery as Sun Cloud stimulated them to blazing desire. She could not kiss him or caress him enough to appease her hunger for him. It had taken so long for her to win him, but at last he was hers.

  She ran her fingers through his sleek mane and admired the way it fell loose and shiny around his strong shoulders. His eyes glowed with emotions which matched her own. She could wait no longer to join their lives and bodies. “Take me, Sun Cloud, or I will die of need,” she whispered boldly and bravely, for she had never been a coward. She knew he was the man she wanted above all others, the only man she wanted. At last, they could become as one.

  Yet, Sun Cloud continued to stimulate her until she was thrashing upon the mat and begging him to halt this bittersweet torment. Her flesh itched and burned, she could hardly breathe, and still he did not take her fully. She jerked to wakefulness and grasped her surroundings. She was dismayed to find it was only a dream. She wiped the moisture from her face and sighed heavily. Whatever she had to do to win him, she must do it quickly before enduring more nights of suffering.

  Chapter Six

  Two more days passed on the trail. Then the Cheyenne war chief Windrider and two of his warriors rode into their evening camp, as the tribes and bands had been asked to keep in touch with each other during this hazardous time and each had been told which path the others were taking. When Tashina saw her father’s best friend, the father of her love, her pulse raced madly as she eagerly glanced around for Soul-of-Thunder. He was nowhere in sight, and she wanted to rush over to ask about him. Deciding her excitement might reveal her inner emotions to Windrider and others, she did not. She continued her chores until she calmed herself and completed them. Since he had not sent her a return gift, she waited to see if there was a message from him, but Windrider did not mention one. Even when she politely inquired about his family, he smiled and said they were all fine and safe.

  Tashina’s suspense was nearly unbearable and her grandmother astutely came to her aid. Shalee asked, “It has been many moons since we saw you and your son, Windrider. Did he ride with you to our camp? Is he visiting others and will he join us for the evening meal?”

  Not wishing to worry his mother, Bright Arrow had asked Windrider not to mention the trouble in the other Indian camps, so the Cheyenne warrior laughed and joked. “It is the time when Mother Earth renews her face and causes young bucks to think of young does too frequently. Soon, my son will seek a tepee of his own, and he casts his eyes about in search of the right mate, so he did not wish to ride from camp at this time. Perhaps on our next visit he will bring along a giggling mate to meet his other family,” he said with a grin and a chuckle which led the listening Tashina to form the wrong conclusion.

  Her heart ached at this tormenting discovery, and she fled to a private distance to deal with her anguish, believing he was lost to her. Her grandmother had told her to wait for the truth, for a sign from him about his feelings, and now she had it. She begged and commanded herself not to weep, but her eyes refused to obey. She angrily pushed her tangled hair from her moist face, wishing she had braided it, for its unruly waves and hint of auburn declared her white blood. Perhaps that was the obstacle between her and her love, she painfully mused. Suddenly, agony thundered through her head and everything went blacker than the night which surrounded her.

  The Army scout quickly scanned each direction, aware of where the Oglala guards were posted. He realized how difficult escape would be with the girl, but knew he could obtain needed information from her, by force if necessary. Since she was white, she should be grateful for his rescue and be willing and eager to help the Army punish the Sioux who had captured and enslaved her. Presently, he had to sneak away from this area as stealthily as he had arrived. Later, he could question the girl and report to Major Butler. He tossed her over his shoulder, covered them with a dark blanket, then gingerly returned to his horse, a mile away.

  No one realized the danger Tashina was in, for each person assumed she was visiting and sleeping in a friend’s camp. With guards posted and with Tashina’s responsible nature, no one imagined she would leave the lighted area or that a Crow scout could get near their camp. It was morning when her absence was discovered, and the Crow’s tracks were found. As time and safety were essential for the tribe, Gray Eagle ordered them to continue their journey. He placed Shalee in Powchutu’s care while his two sons went to rescue his granddaughter and to slay the scout before he could report his findings. No guard was reprimanded, but all knew they had been careless and lax.

  Tashina had awakened shortly before dawn to find herself in the arms of a Crow who was dressed as a white man. Instantly the Indian had halted and lowered her feet to the ground, then agilely dismounted. She rubbed her head as she cleared her wits and took in her peril, for the Crow had always been fierce enemies of the Oglalas. She had no weapon and the man looked strong and mean. She trembled, then berated her recklessness last night, but within moments she realized he was a fort scout and her family and people were in greater danger than she was. She had to find a way to trick this man and escape to warn them.

  “I take you to fort. First, you tell Sly Fox all he asks or he will slay you. You captive, squaw, or half-breed?” he questioned coldly as he seized her wrist and squeezed it painfully to intimidate her.

  “Who are you? What do you want with me?” she replied in her best English to stall for time and to dupe him.

  “Sly Fox asks questions; you answer or be hurt,” he warned.

  “I’m a captive,” she declared bravely and tried to pull free.

  “You no captive; you free to come and go around camp. You lie,” he accused as he twisted her arm behind her. He yanked her forward, bringing their bodies into snug contact, close enough so that she could feel his respiration upon her face. His dark gaze b
ored into her frantic one. “Speak truth or Sly Fox cut out tongue.”

  She shrieked, “You’re breaking my arm, Sly Fox! My head is pounding where you struck me last night and I’m confused by all this. I’ll tell you the truth; I have nothing to hide. Me and my mother were taken captive when I was ten. She died this past winter. Take me to the fort and they can return me to my father Clay Rivera. He’s a trapper and many of the soldiers know him. I can’t let the Indians catch me again. Me and my mother tried to escape before, but they punished us horribly. They know I was too scared to try it again, so they don’t watch me anymore. They treat me like a slave, and one of the warriors is trying to bargain for me. That’s why I was standing in the dark and crying, because I was too cowardly to run away and I knew my owner was going to trade me to him. Please help me. My father will pay you. I know he wouldn’t leave this area without me.”

  “That Gray Eagle’s camp?” he probed, as if unmoved by her tale.

  Tashina realized the man was testing her, for he had to know whose camp he had discovered. She had to play along with him, or he would kill her. “He’s the chief. They’re heading for their summer grounds. We should get out of here. Surely they know I’m gone by now. They’re probably tracking us this very minute. If they catch us, they’ll kill us both.” She had to hope he would let her mount behind him, then she could grab his knife and… slay him.

  “Who holds you captive?” he demanded, wishing there was time to appease the gnawing which her beauty and close proximity were creating in his manhood. Auburn highlights gleamed in the morning sun and her large eyes looked golden brown, implying she was indeed white or mostly white. Her long hair settled wildly around her face and shoulders, and her full lips were innocently inviting. Although she was slender, he could feel a rounded bosom pressed against his hard chest. She was most tempting, for she had an aura of gentleness and purity. He knew that once they were back at the fort, one of the white officers would claim her for his personal use, but he dared not throw her upon the ground and waste valuable time enjoying her. He needed to carry his information and captive to the fort where he could prove to the soldiers and to Red Band that he was the better scout!