Bittersweet Ecstasy

by Taylor, Janelle

  He realized he could not stall returning to camp any longer; the boys were getting hungry and sleepy after the long walk to fatigue them for Tashina so they would nap peacefully while he was gone hunting and their mother was enjoying her new husband. As they headed back, he encountered Little Flower, Dull Knife’s daughter. The girl boldly sent him an enticing smile and swayed her hips seductively as she caught his eyes upon her. She moistened her lips in a wickedly suggestive manner and headed toward him. Sun Cloud decided there was no better way to prove disinterest in one female than by showing interest in another one, and he could not allow Silver Hawk or anyone to notice his hunger for Singing Wind, or hers for him. He sent the girl a sensual smile and asked her to walk with them, making sure they laughed and chatted merrily all the way to Bright Arrow’s tepee.

  By the time they reached it, Little Flower had asked Sun Cloud to join her family for the coming meal; he had thrilled, and duped, her by accepting eagerly. Responding to his seemingly receptive mood, the enchanted girl flirted openly and sultrily with him, and he pretended to enjoy it and return it. Fortunately, there were no Oglalas close enough during the mealtime to observe this curious sight.

  From where the two Blackfeet were standing, they glimpsed the couple and children who were approaching the tepee. Tashina had left earlier to fetch fresh water and firewood. Silver Hawk commented, “I hear he has stolen many girls’ treasures, but all fear to reveal it and dishonor themselves. See how he works his magic on her. After he lures her to his mats, he will go chasing another fringed skirt. I hear he has a stick which he notches with each conquest and it is nearly full. A female is a fool to give him her best treasure before he gives her a joining necklace, for Sun Cloud will join only the female he cannot have without it. It is good you will join his brother instead of him, as even you would have trouble keeping him faithful. No doubt he will need many wives to cool his fiery blood and to feed his greedy appetite. Many say he is more skilled on the sleeping mat than battleground.”

  Little Feet’s boys, Sun Cloud, and Little Flower entered the tepee to find a male guest there, for Singing Wind, backed against the covering near the open flap, went unnoticed for a time, by all except Sun Cloud who sensed her presence nearby. In the excitement, the boys rushed forward to seize the fruit pones which Tashina had made for them, and the others exchanged amiable greetings.

  “Silver Hawk, it is good to see you, my friend and brother,” Sun Cloud said, smiling and clasping the man’s arm, his mood implying he was relaxed and happy. “Where is your mate to be?” he asked casually. “You are lucky to have captured the most beautiful and rarest flower around.”

  After Silver Hawk replied, Sun Cloud smiled and said, “Buffalo Boy and Spirit Sign are to eat and sleep here with Tashina, for Little Feet and Thunder Spirit were joined this sun and wish to be alone,” he disclosed with a lewdly mischievous grin. “I go to eat with Little Flower in the tepee of her father Dull Knife. If Tashina has not prepared enough food for guests, tell her to send for me and I will seek a rabbit to roast before I eat with my”—he glanced at Little Flower, his eyes roving her suggestively before he finished in a sensuous tone which belied his simple word—”friends.” He inquired, “Do you need me to remain here to watch them until Tashina returns? Little Flower can go to her tepee and tell her family I will be there soon.”

  “There is no need to wait; the boys can stay with us until Tashina returns,” Singing Wind said as she stepped forward to join them, and seized everyone’s attention with her voice and beauty. “She has prepared plenty of food for all. She will make my brother a good wife.”

  “And Silver Hawk will make Tashina a good husband,” Sun Cloud replied smoothly as he nodded a casual greeting to her. He added in a deceptively calm and genial tone, “As Bright Arrow will make Singing Wind a good mate. It is good our tribes will be twice bound through our families. I am sure Tashina told you her father is away, but he was to return this sun or the next, if you wish to wait for him. Do not worry over your love; he is safe. I have not seen my brother this happy since before Wahea was lost. It is good you returned the glow to his eyes and face. When he revealed your joining plans, his eyes and voice exposed his great love and desire for Singing Wind.”

  A compelling smile was sent to her as Sun Cloud said, “If you feel as he does, you will be happy with him. Soon, you will be my sister, and I will be a good brother to you. If you have needs while he is away, speak them to me. When he is gone, I protect his family for him and provide for them. I will do the same for my brother’s new mate.”

  Singing Wind could not tell if Sun Cloud was speaking words with dual meanings, for his expression and tone imported only friendliness and joy. Today, he was like a casual acquaintance or a stranger. She could not believe how easily he was accepting this situation, and it troubled her deeply to think her impending union with another man did not bother him in the slightest. He behaved and sounded as if he was delighted she was going to join his brother, as if there had been nothing special between them. He even talked as if Bright Arrow were actually in love with her and that fact pleased him! She was tormented and bewildered. She had come seeking the truth, not to visit Bright Arrow. If only she could speak privately with Sun Cloud, but that was impossible. Jealousy chewed viciously at her as Little Flower cuddled against him and he sent the girl a smile which could melt her flesh. Perhaps, she angrily decided, Silver Hawk was right; Sun Cloud only sought and enjoyed daring conquests, and she was no longer a temptation.

  Holding herself under rigid control, Singing Wind replied just as nonchalantly, “You are very generous, Sun Cloud. You will make a good brother, and I am sure I will need you many times. You do not mind if your brother replaces Wahea with me?” she probed craftily.

  “No, a man must push aside his painful past and go on with his life. Do not worry; you mean more to your love than any woman ever has. I have been told of the visions of Silver Hawk, Bright Arrow, and Singing Wind; your union with the Oglala chief is the will of the Great Spirit, and must not be resisted.” Sun Cloud chuckled playfully and teased, “This news surprised me when I heard it in council, for you and my brother kept your love and plans a secret from all.”

  As his words and their laws settled in on her, Singing Wind experienced a surge of pleasure and suspense. Maybe… She must be careful about hints before her brother, so she held back the reply she wanted to make: So was I, when I was told all and commanded to obey! Instead, she laughed mirthfully and said, “Sometimes it is best to keep secrets until the right time to reveal them. I would have told you, but I have not seen you since it was decided. We will wait for Bright Arrow’s return, if there is space and you do not mind.”

  “There is space, for Sun Cloud lives in the tepee of Mind-who-Roams until his gets a new tepee,” he informed her. He glanced at Silver Hawk and ventured devilishly, “I am sure my Blackfeet brother also wishes to spend time with his love and future mate.”

  Silver Hawk laughed heartily and nodded, for he assumed he had finally succeeded in disarming and deceiving Sun Cloud. The timing was perfect when Little Flower left to tell her family about their meal guest and Singing Wind dropped to her knees to pour the boys some water, for Silver Hawk asked, “When will you seek your own tepee?”

  Sun Cloud lowered his voice as if the two men were speaking privately, but he knew Singing Wind could hear them and was listening. “When I find a female who is special in the light and in the dark, I will claim her quickly before another steals her. If I find her and win her, I will build a new tepee and join her that same sun. If it is not so before winter, I will build a new tepee, then find a slave to care for me until I can seek her again.” Singing Wind was behind Sun Cloud after he placed his weapons nearby. As he continued, one hand rested over his buttocks and his fingers irresistibly stroked her hair. “You must tell me your secrets, Silver Hawk; you will soon have two mates, and I have none. What do I do wrong? When Tashina, Little Feet, and Bright Arrow are joined, I will be alone. Perha
ps I should look and work harder on this matter.”

  “What of Little Flower? She is pretty and has fires burning for you.”

  Sun Cloud shook his head. “She chatters like a busy squirrel. I have seen no female in our camp who stands beyond the others.”

  “Why do you not come to my camp and look among our females?”

  Sun Cloud’s breath caught in his throat as he felt Singing Wind’s tongue tease the palm of his hand. He defensively shifted it to his hip, for the sensation and its meaning inflamed his mind and body. This was crazy, to fool around with his brother’s promised, in his brother’s tepee, with his worst foe standing nearby! “We must ride to the war council on the new sun. Soon, we will be battling our foes. There is little time for such personal matters.”

  “You must take the time, my brother and friend. If you are slain, you must not carry your bloodline with you. That is why I came to speak with Bright Arrow. I must join with Tashina before this new season of battles, for Shining Feather can give me no sons.”

  Sun Cloud asked himself whatever was he thinking and doing to send out wanton enticements with words and actions toward his brother’s promised. And what was Singing Wind doing and thinking to behave this way toward him after promising herself to his brother? Was it a joke or a test? Or did she want him, only him? Or did she desire both of Gray Eagle’s sons? “I will do as you say, Silver Hawk. We will speak after the war council. Soon, you could be chief, and you will have need of sons. I must go, for the family of Dull Knife waits for me.” He turned to Singing Wind who was kneeling with her back to them and said, “If I do not see you again before the joining ceremony, be safe and happy. It is good for the son of Gray Eagle to win the daughter of Brave Bear. Our lives have touched many times for many seasons.”

  Singing Wind stood and faced him. “Guard your life, my brother. Perhaps the Great Spirit will send you a new mate soon.”

  “It will be good; I have remained to myself too long.” He knew remaining near her any longer was perilous, so he left.

  Silver Hawk remarked, “Sun Cloud has changed since his parents’ deaths and the discovery of his people’s choice of his brother as chief.”

  Singing Wind did not want to quarrel with him, so she replied, “It is good for a man to lose all extra pride and boldness. His hardness and coldness have lessened, and that is good too. He did not tease me or insult me this sun, and I am glad, since we are to be a family soon.”

  “You have changed too, sister. You are mellow and obedient.”

  “My life has changed, so I must change with it. I cannot do my duty if I remain as I was. I pray you will feel and do the same.”

  “I am restless. I will go for a long ride. Tell Tashina I will return before dark.” Yes, he should check the message place one last time, to make certain nothing was left there to implicate him.

  “But what of eating?” she inquired.

  “I am not hungry. Perhaps I will hunt awhile. Tashina will be busy with Little Feet’s sons and will have no time to talk until later. I will scout around and see if Bright Arrow is nearing camp.”

  Singing Wind watched her brother depart, and wondered why he was leaving when the boys would be asleep for hours soon. She was tempted to follow him, but could not leave the children alone. She fed them and placed them on their sleeping mats, wondering why it was taking Tashina so long to return.

  Singing Wind stood in the opening, to catch the refreshing breeze and to observe the tepee of Dull Knife. She had to learn if Little Flower left during the rest period to follow Sun Cloud into the forest. She scolded herself for her behavior earlier. She loved and desired Sun Cloud, but she was promised to another. They had to forget what had happened between them near the pond. They had to forget and to ignore each other. They had to resist each other’s temptation. She had to stop searching for double meanings in his words and looks.

  Yet, if she did not expose the truth to Sun Cloud, there was no telling what he would think or feel about her, after the pond incident, after her sudden claim by his brother, and after her behavior earlier. She had to know if she had meant anything special to him.

  When one of the boys whimpered, Singing Wind went to check on him, then returned to the entrance after deciding it had been nothing more than a tiny bad dream which was gone now. During her absence, Sun Cloud had left Dull Knife’s tepee and gone hunting, unaware that Silver Hawk was gone and Tashina had not returned, leaving his love alone.

  Finally, Tashina returned. “I am sorry, Singing Wind. Pretty Red Fox gave birth to a son in the forest while we were gathering wood. It happened so quickly there was no time to seek help until it was over. I have seen very few babies come so swiftly and without warning. Where are the others?” she asked.

  “Sun Cloud eats and talks with Dull Knife. Silver Hawk went riding. He will return before dark. He was restless being near his chosen one and being unable to share private words and touches.”

  Tashina blushed. “Did he say such things?” she asked worriedly.

  Singing Wind caught Tashina’s undercurrents of fear and dread. “You do not love my brother or wish to join with him, do you?”

  Tashina knew her face and voice had given away her feelings, so there was no reason to lie to her friend, and she desperately needed to discuss this matter with another female. “No, it was decided for me and I was ordered to do my duty to my father and people. I am trapped, for I love and desire another. Do you hate me and think badly of me because I cannot bear the thought of joining your brother?”

  “How can I, Tashina? I am trapped by my duty and orders, but I feel as you do. I do not love or desire your father,” she revealed.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Bright Arrow and his band returned shortly after the rest period and called for the council to be summoned for their report. When he learned of his guests, he hurried to his tepee, to find only Singing Wind there preparing wild vegetables for the stew for their evening meal.

  “It is good to see you, Singing Wind,” he murmured joyfully. “I am glad you came. We have much to decide. I am honored you accepted my joining claim, but I do not know why it took me so long to ask for you. There is no other female in our lands who stirs my heart and body as you do. I promise I will make you a good husband and lover. At last, I can be happy and whole again. Where are the others?”

  Singing Wind was touched, and distressed, by his words and mood. She wished he did not want her. She wished he would release her from his claim so she could go to his brother. How could she make him a good wife when she was the mate of another in her heart, and in her body? Why had he not come to her before Sun Cloud had revealed his desire, before she had learned what it was to have his brother, and hopefully his brother’s love? Bright Arrow was good and kind and virile and handsome; but he was not Sun Cloud. Yet, how could she hurt this man or refuse her duty? Agony without end, for she could not.

  “Tashina is preparing the meal for Pretty Red Fox; she had her child when the sun was overhead. Tashina helped him into the world while they were gathering wood, and they named him Comes Quickly. My brother rides to scout and hunt, and will return soon. Sun Cloud also hunts for those in need.” Fearing to hesitate on that soul-stirring name, she hurriedly went on, “Your grandsons have returned to their mother in her new tepee. Little Feet is very happy with her new mate. You know they were joined after the sun returned?” she hinted.

  Bright Arrow unthinkingly revealed, “It is good they have joined, for they have been much in love for many winters. It was not good they were separated through their own foolishness. New lovers need time alone; I will visit them later. The call has gone out for council.”

  “Your arm is hurt,” she remarked, noticing the soiled cloth on it. “I must tend it and change your binding.”

  Bright Arrow allowed her to mix a potion, to remove the dressing, clean the injury, and treat it. He enjoyed her gentle touch and nearness, her fresh smell, soft skin, and abundant appeal. She was the most beautiful Indian ma
iden he had seen. It had been a year since he had touched a female, and his body was responding rapidly to her. He wished she was Rebecca Kenny, but that life and love were gone forever. He had to reach out to this female who would be his wife soon. In time, he might come to love her, for it was easy to desire her.

  “You must have it tended each sun, Bright Arrow, for it is red with anger and gathering poison. It might cause your arm to grow weak with pain and your head cloudy with fever. Why must men always be stubborn and careless with such things?” she softly scolded him. “A man of much wisdom and strength knows when he must yield to his body’s weakness and needs. To deny them is foolish.”

  He lifted her hands and kissed each fingertip. “I will obey you, for you are wise and enchanting. Your touch is very gentle and warming, little heartfire.” As he pressed a kiss to each knuckle and palm, he teased huskily, “No wonder my arm flames with fire, my whole body burns at your nearness and attention. See how I quiver with eagerness? I have taken no woman but Wahea to a mat since I met my wife over twenty winters past. I will be as true to you, Singing Wind, for my heart has room for only one love and woman, as I give all of myself to her and our union.” His fingers brushed over her lips and he gazed into her golden brown eyes as he vowed, “If you need help, we will find you a slave, for I desire only you as my mate. We must join soon, for I grow wild to have you near me at all times. You fill my head and heart.”

  He captured her chin and pulled her face to his, sealing their lips. His fingers wandered into her silky hair and his mouth greedily explored hers, for she could not decide if or how she should resist him.

  Sun Cloud peeked inside the tepee and his heart ached at the scene which he viewed, for he had arrived as his brother was kissing each fingertip and making his sultry confession. As Singing Wind was not resisting Bright Arrow, he assumed she was responding, and was agreeable to the union which was set between them. He could not let them know he had witnessed this tormenting sight, so he left quickly.