Thrust & Parry: Z Day

by Luke Ashton

  “What the fuck Twitch?” Rim exclaimed, dropping his pint back onto the table and making a grab for his own weapon.

  “Stop there mate, this is just a precaution.” Rim froze as Jim’s barrel winked at him. ” From what I have seen of these things there is two ways to turn; either being bitten or with the flu. So with that said I need to know a few bits. Firstly, do any of you lads feel like you have a cold, cough or fever?” Jim asked them both and got two very nervous shakes of the head in reply. “Good, next I need to know you have not been bitten. Normally, I would simply take your word for it but since it could be life or death I need you to strip down for me.”

  “Look mate, I know I’m a handsome bloke and all that but I don’t swing that way. I mean I can’t speak for Whethers but I’m not into cock gobbling.” Rim’s filthy grin was back.

  “Cut the crap and just do it Rim. If I was going to turn gay I wouldn’t go for you anyway. There are things your body could teach to SDI’s.” Both the lads slowly unslung their rifles and stripped down to their boxers. Jim glanced over them for any sign of bite marks. “Good, now give us a twirl.”

  “I usually charge for a lap dance mate.” Rim said as he turned round waggling his arse at Jim.

  “Filthy little cunt.” Exclaimed Jim as he checked them over. “Good, you can get your kit back on now.” They obliged and Jim slung his weapon over his back once more.

  “Now then boss, your turn.” Jim heard over his shoulder. He had turned to let the lads get dressed as he sipped his pint. Now, as he span round he was met by Rim’s SA80.

  “Ok lads, I guess I owe you that much.” Jim said as he stripped down and twirled round, before getting dressed once more.

  “Right, now we have finished with the homo-erotic bollocks I need a piss.” Rim said as he walked off to use the toilet. He had a SA80 slung over his shoulder, leaving Jim and Whethers to talk about what was going on.

  “Parry, do you reckon this is the start of the apocalypse? I mean I kinda hope it is. I’ve read up about this for years. It’s a hobby of mine I guess”

  Jim looked at him in a whole new light, in the space of half an hour he’d gone from this quiet guy who barely said a word to this killing machine.

  “I reckon so lad, I’ve killed at least a dozen of these fuckers already. They’re nasty little guys. Best bet is to stick together as much as we can but when it comes to it you need to be able to blow your mates head off if he turns. I learnt that the hard way.”

  Giving Jim a pat on the shoulder with a sympathetic smile Whethers walked to the bar.

  “Another pint boss?”

  Jim nodded. “Why the hell not” he thought he was in the right place for any attack and it took at least another ten pints to affect him at all.

  Just a Whethers was bringing the drink back to the table they heard an almighty bang coming from the drill hall.

  “Shit, What the fuck was that?!” Shouted Whethers, spilling half a pint down his kit. At this point Rim ran out of the toilet back into the bar with his pants around his ankles.

  “Right lads I’m ready. Let’s go” Rim said eagerly. Clearly not bothered that his junk was hanging out for the world to see.

  “Whethers, calm down and stay quiet. Rim, pull you fucking pants up unless you want some fucker biting your dick off… and before you even say it ‘not in the good way’” Rim’s smirk was as visible as his bollocks as he tugged his waistband back into place. They all did a quick check on themselves and each other to ensure all their kit was on right and they didn’t have their webbing tucked into their boxers or something.

  Jim was back in leader role. He pulled his gun up and looked over the sight, walking slowly towards the stairs that lead back down to the drill hall. Trying his hardest to stay quiet. He signalled for the lads to stay put until he said other wise. Standing at the top of the stairs in clear view of Rim and Whethers.

  “Right lads, come on its clear here.” He whispered. The lads followed his orders and walked towards him checking behind them to make sure nothing had come in through the fire exit. Jim stopped a few steps down as something dawned on him. He turned to Whethers who was attempting to keep his Gimpy in his shoulder. Obviously never been trained to use it properly. Jim only had chance to give them a quick crash course.

  “Whethers. Over watch. Balcony.” Whethers simply nodded and headed back up to the balcony. The vantage point and pure power of the Gimpy would give them an upper hand.

  “Rim. Take point.” Rim stepped past Jim. Weapon raised. The steps turned 180 degrees at the bottom and then you had to turn another 90 degrees into the doorway of the drill hall. Jim had taken his recruits through this exact procedure during one of the drill nights as part of the FIBUA (Fighting In a Built Up Area) lesson. Rim must have remembered it well as he moved down the stairs, sweeping is weapon slowly right to clear the room below. He stepped down and jogged into the back corner of the room opposite the door to the drill hall and looked at Jim who was still near the top of the stairs so that he had a vantage point over anything that happened. He nodded at Jim and mouthed ‘Room clear. Door right.’ This was done in FIBUA training in every room. You tell the section commander that the room you have entered is clear and inform them of any doors that are in the room and their position from the entrance.

  Jim moved down the stairs and took up position to the right of the doorway opposite Rim, he then signalled for Rim to move up. Rim obeyed and moved up in front of him. They would move through the door together as a unit. Jim checked his chamber once more to see the glint of brass and gave Rim a tap to signal him to go. Rim leaned through the doors and quickly moved across the drill hall looking for targets. Jim hot on heels. There was an acrid smell of cordite in the room and a smoking black patch in the middle of the room and what looked like a burnt out smarties tube in the middle. Jim recognised it instantly as a BNS (Battle Noise Simulator) or ‘thunder-flash’ as they were known. They were both about half way down the right hand side of the drill hall now and in front of them was a corner where the platoon commander and platoon sergeant’s office jutted out from.

  Jim tapped Rim and pointed to the corner. Rim nodded and settled nearest to the outer corner so he could cover the room. Jim pushed his arse into the corner. His mind was racing. Whatever had entered the drill hall obviously knew the code and had access to military hardware. There was a good chance they would be friendly but he had to make sure. He looked up to the balcony and spotted Whethers hunkered down with his Gimpy rested on a table. Jim signalled for Whethers to look for targets and Whethers signalled back that he could see movement by the side door to the drill hall.

  Leaving Whethers and Rim where they were Jim headed towards the side door. He came to a stop facing the folded platform on wheels. He aimed ready for whatever was there but made sure he was far enough left to be out of Whethers line of fire.

  “Army. Stop or I’ll fire” Jim shouted towards the platform which was located under a second balcony next to the trophy cabinet. He waited a few seconds for a response but heard nothing. Getting ready to squeeze the trigger he tightened his grip on his sharpshooter.

  “One step forth to be recognised” He shouted, getting slightly on edge due to the lack of response.

  He heard footsteps from behind the platform, he was aimed and ready. A figure in camo stepped out from behind the platform. His hands were out and open, palms facing to show he had nothing in them. A SA80 hung by his side.

  “Paddy?” Jim exclaimed, lowering his weapon slightly. “Wait, stop there!” He ordered bringing his weapon back up.

  “Wow, Twitch! It’s me mate. Come on!” Paddy was flapping a bit. He didn’t expect to have this sort of welcome from his section commander.

  “Have you been bitten?” Jim needed to know.

  “No mate, they haven’t come near me. Honest.” Paddy was fearing for his life now. Probably not the first time today.

  “Are you alone?”

  “No I found Danno from B Company in town. Can
he step out?” Paddy didn’t want to do anything without Jim’s permission for as long as that barrel was aimed in his direction.

  “Danno step out and to Paddy’s left. No weapons drawn.” Jim needed to stay in control for now. A small wired looking bloke with short ginger hair that was receding at the sides stepped out. Jim knew Danno fairly well. He’d done a few weekends with him and he was a good soldier. He was doing the same as Paddy with his arms out and palms facing. His LSW (Light Support Weapon) hung by his side. The LSW was just an SA80 with a longer barrel and a flip out bipod on it and was unanimously hated by everyone who had ever had the misfortune to have to carry it. It was barrel heavy, making it difficult to shoot from anything but the prone position and was renowned for stoppages.

  “Now then Twitch. How the fuck are we doing?” Danno smiled at his and lowered his hands. He looked paler than usual and had huge bags around his eyes.

  “Not bad mate. Just stay as you are for now mate. I need to get some bits cleared up before I can let you in. First of all, strip down to your boxers, both of you. Weapons on the floor in front of you.” He waited until both weapons where on the deck and turned to Rim. “Rim mate, sweep and clear the other balcony. Make sure all doors are closed and set up an over watch to cover behind me.” Rim nodded and jogged off to the stairwell. Jim glanced at the 2 soldiers in the middle of the drill hall who were now shirtless and fiddling with boot laces before turning to Whethers. “Whethers, shut that door behind you and get an over watch to cover these 2 and underneath Rim.” Whethers disappeared just as there was a distinct “CLEAR!” from the other balcony signally Rim had finished the sweep. A moment later he could see both his over watches settled behind their weapons.

  “Just out of interest mate. What have you got planned for us that needs us to be naked.” Danno chirped up and Jim faced him once more.

  “I just need to check something.” Jim replied. He didn’t want them knowing what he was looking for so they couldn’t try to conceal it. Both men finished undressing and stood looking slightly embarrassed under the drill hall lights.

  “Right search position.” Jim ordered and both men moved their feet shoulder width apart and threw their arms out 90 degrees. The search drill was something that was practiced a lot. Jim looked both men up and down. Paddy seemed fine but there was something wrong with Danno’s left leg. There was dried blood on it but he couldn’t see a wound.

  “Turn round.” Jim ordered once more and they both obeyed. Jim could see it now. A distinct bite mark on Danno’s hamstring. “That looks nasty Danno, where did you get it mate.”

  “Got a bit cocky with one of these things and tried to stamp on its head. Missed and it bit me.” Danno said nonchalantly. He obviously didn’t know what happened when you got bitten.

  “Sorry mate.” Jim said as he brought his weapon up to focus on the back of Danno’s head. “You would thank me for this later if you could.” He squeezed the trigger. And Danno flew forward. Jim’s eye left his sight just in time to see Danno’s head bounce off the ground hard. Paddy spun round looking horrified and lost his balance. He fell onto the polished wood floor with a slap and peered at Jim. Eyes wide, mouth open.

  “Don’t shoot! Please Twitch!” Paddy begged, obviously not aware of the situation.

  “Have you been bitten?” Jim asked calmly.

  “N…No” Paddy stuttered looking confused.

  “Are you ill in any way?”

  “No. I mean probably a bit traumatised but” He glanced at what was left of Danno’s head. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Then you’re safe.” Jim lowered his weapon. Stepped forward and offered his hand to Paddy. He took it and stood up. “As long as the gates shut we should be secure now.”

  “Yeah I watched it close before I moved into the drill hall.” Paddy chirped up.

  “Good. 5 section, fall in back at the bar!” Jim called and instantly heard the scrape of metal on wood as both his men moved off. “Paddy, throw your clothes back on, grab those weapons and Danno’s webbing and meet us up there will you?” Paddy nodded and began to dress again. Jim turned back towards the exit just as Rim came wandering back down the stairs.

  “Pint boss?” He asked as they passed.

  “Aye mate, I’ll be up in a minute.” Jim replied as he stepped back through the double doors to the exit. He reached the front door and raised his weapon once more. He slid the door open slowly and peered out. The street was deserted. He jumped in the mini and pulled up to the gate. Bounding out he bashed in the code for vehicle access and flopped back into the seat just as the gates began to move. The gates clicked open and shuddered to a hold just as Jim slid the car in and parked it facing the gate near the drill hall door. He grabbed a fresh pack of cigs and pulled the lever for the boot as the gate clicked shut behind him. Stepping round the back he noticed a few tins and bottles had slid into the gap he had left for weapons and ammo so he grabbed a few bottles of Lucozade sport and a few tins of hot dogs and slammed the boot. As he did he heard a gurgle behind him and span round. He had one hand full so he slipped its pistol from its holster and brought it up to aim. There was a young girl stood at the gate. She had one arm reaching out for him but the look on her face was not fear. It was hunger. The blood smeared around her mouth confirmed she wasn’t ready to cuddle him. He was about to fire when he had a thought.

  “If I fire there is a chance I will attract more.” He looked over the security of the gate. “There’s no way she can get in. Might as well leave her there.” He gave the gate one last check over to make sure and slid his Sig back next to his leg. He wandered back inside and shut the door behind him. Even if they got through the gate he doubted these fuckers where smart enough to be able to open a door.

  As Jim entered the bar once more he saw instantly that spirits where high. Rim was deep into a story about the last lass he’d pulled and the rest of the lads where falling about with laughter as he did an impression of pissing on her face. Jim doubted half the stories were true but he wouldn’t put it past Rim to have tried it. Everyone seemed to be having fun. All except one. Paddy was sat alone at the bar trying to find the answers of life in his pint of Guinness.

  “Now then Pads.” Jim called cheerfully as he plonked next to him and dropped the cans and bottles on the bar. “Find anything good?” He asked with a grin.

  “You what twitch?” He looked stunned and confused. Like Jim had just caught him wanking.

  “In your pint mate.” Jim explained, Motioning at the glass in his hand. “You seemed to be searching pretty deep.”

  “Oh right, sorry mate. Just thinking about Danno. What was all that about?” He looked genuinely concerned now.

  “Story time ladies. Gather round.” Jim’s section all pulled up a chair around him. “Right this is what I know so far. These things have all the attributes of zombies. They are dim-witted and cannibalistic but fast. They don’t seem to feel any pain or tire but I don’t know yet whether they get hungry.” Jim looked round at his sections who were all staring at him eagerly. All except Paddy who, as always, was taking notes. That’s the reason he was Jims 2ic. “It seems this flu bug that is going round has started it all off so if you had family or friends that had it your best bet is to assume they want to eat you.”

  “Love the smell of incest in the morning.” Perked up Rim from the back of the room followed by a wave of guffaws from around the room.

  “Shut it Rim.” Jim barked and the room fell silent. “You can also be turned when a zombie bites you. I can’t say why for sure but we have to assume whatever it is that turns them is in their blood. This means any bodily fluids get into you in any way you will turn. As this flu is a virus it will be airborne but CBRN (Chemical Biological Radiological and Nuclear) suits are still optional. I hate the fuckers and my weapon isn’t zeroed for the respirator. Anyone got anything to add?”

  “Yeah, so if we can catch this ‘zombie AIDS’ does that mean I have to bag up before I fuck one.” Rim said with a smirk.

>   “Rim, knowing you, even if you did bag up they would probably catch something from you.” The lads loved that and started falling about laughing. “Oh and lads, eat up.” Jim passed the tins of hot dogs of the bottles round and pulled the ring pull on his own. There was a bucket on the floor that caught the leak in the roof and Jim poured the liquid it came in out into it and started digging in. The lads followed his example and, as expected, Rim was soon deep throating one of the hot dogs.

  “Right Paddy, I need one lad to grab a 10 ton truck. One to come with me and grab the weapons from the armoury and finally someone to go raid the kitchen of anything they can find.” Jim dropped his can in the bin and lit a fag, inhaling deeply as he skipped down the stairs and into the drill hall. Paddy turned to the lads.

  “Rim, go with Jim. Whethers, raid the kitchen. I’ll grab the truck.” The 10 ton trucks where massive covered 6 wheel military trucks with a steel plate on the front to protect the engine from big rocks when off-road. Huddersfield was an infantry barracks so it had nothing heavier. They had a set of seats in the back that looked like they had been stolen from a roller coaster.

  Jim was unhooking the remaining weapons when Rim wandered in, his eyes flicking between the body on the floor and Ruskie in the corner.

  “Care to explain Twitch?” Rim asked.

  “Ruskie got a bit slow at killing his zombie wife and she got him. He came in here and the civvie tried to attack him. As you can see he got the good news and then Ruskie shot himself before he turned.”

  “Fucking hell.” Exclaimed Rim as he kicked the civvie to one side and grabbed 2 SA80’s. “Where are these going mate?”

  “Make a stack out by the mini.” Jim started lining the outside of the armoury with weapons. Once he finished he did a quick count. There was 2 GPMGs, 4 LMGs, 8 LSWs and (including the 2 Rim took) 12 SA80’s.