Feuds

by Avery Hastings

  Now there were murmurs in the crowd, whispers, and rustling. Why had Parson been arrested? Cole couldn’t make sense of it. If it was about FEUDS, stacking the bets—there was a good chance he’d be next. Cole took his chance while the crowd was still focused on Parson being led away by the police. He ran.

  * * *

  Cole ran until his lungs were burning more than they’d ever burned during any fight. He was certain he’d run for several miles by the time he saw Davis’s sign. But it took him a long while to recognize it for what it was.

  His mind felt thick with every emotion known to man: horror over what he’d done to Noah; dismay at what was almost certainly a loss of the FEUDS money now that Parson had been arrested; devastation at seeing his dream for his family ripped away; fear at his inability to control himself in the arena; confusion over what exactly had happened with Parson. But most of all, a strong undercurrent of hope. Because Davis hadn’t sold him out. It meant somewhere in the city, she still loved him.

  He’d never stop loving her. He wouldn’t have stopped even if he’d always believed she’d sold him out, if he’d moved to another continent. Distance couldn’t betray what he felt for her; it was so vast and selfless. It was what was propelling his feet through the streets of Columbus—streets he was technically banned from—when a flashing light began to beam in the sky.

  Why hadn’t she shown up? Why hadn’t she come to him, knowing he’d be there? How would he ever find her now? He needed a sign from her. Anything. It was a moment when, if he’d believed in prayer—if he’d thought God existed—he would have prayed with all his heart. Instead, he hoped. And finally, after the light in the sky flashed for the third, then the fourth time … he knew.

  This was his sign. It was her. The light was Davis, calling him to her. He couldn’t explain the certainty with which he felt it; he just knew.

  17

  DAVIS

  She wondered how long it would take for someone to notice the spotlight and tell her to stop. How long would it take for someone to discover she wasn’t asleep in her bed, how long could she sit here, shivering, before she could accept that he hadn’t read her sign at all—and he wasn’t coming?

  It had been at least an hour. The sun had fully set, and all that was left was the clear night sky, dappled with clusters of stars. There was a chill in the air, but although Davis knew she should go inside and warm up—accept that Cole hadn’t and wouldn’t see her signal—she couldn’t bring herself to leave the hospital rooftop. She’d never managed to replace her DirecTalk, and she didn’t even know if Cole had a working one of his own. There was no way to reach him. No way except this. So Davis flicked the switch on, flicked it off, over and over, a mechanical manifestation of her hope.

  Her arm was stiff and sore, her fingers frozen and practically powerless to manipulate the switch. Still, she forced herself to keep going. Her eyes were growing heavier by the minute, so much so that she didn’t even trust herself to climb back to her room. Not that it was possible. Above the mini roof deck where she sat, there was a fire escape that led three more stories up. Her room was two above that—she’d had to dangle and drop onto the next lowest fire escape. Now, with her limbs stiff and cold, she couldn’t hope to hoist herself up again. She’d have to enter through another floor. Once her father found out she’d managed to escape again, he’d probably take extra measures to make sure it couldn’t happen a third time. Davis felt a strange sense of anxiety mixed with an awful lethargy that threatened to overcome her. She felt her arm drop to her side. She couldn’t keep up with the signal; it was too much. She folded into herself, huddling in the corner of the roof deck, willing herself not to fall asleep. Trying by sheer force of determination to keep her eyes open. It was dark on the roof now that she’d stopped operating the spotlight.

  When she saw the hand, dirt-encrusted and bloody, wrapping itself over the top of the wall nearest the fire escape, she thought it was a nightmare. She shrieked, scooting backward on the roof until her back hit the wall. Then the rest of the form emerged, climbing up the fire escape and over the low wall that bordered the roof. It was ominous and bloody in the dark, and … familiar. Davis opened her mouth to scream again.

  “Davis! Don’t. It’s me.” Cole’s voice emerged from the hulking figure. “It’s me.” He moved toward her, and all of a sudden her entire body was trembling, and she let out several choking sobs. It was him. He’d found her.

  She moved toward him, all fears evaporating. “What happened?” she asked as he pulled her to his bare chest. She was on her knees and he was reaching for her, then kneeling down also, until they were both hugging like that, the cold pavement pressing up through their legs while they knelt on the roof. Somehow, it felt like heaven. It felt like everything was going to be okay again. She was gasp-sobbing into his chest; he smelled like sweat and dirt and she realized there was nothing better than Cole in any state at all. When he was with her, she felt okay.

  But the blood …

  “What happened to you?” She pushed back, scrutinizing his torso for wounds, which seemed to be everywhere. “Oh, my God. The FEUDS. Cole.” He turned away, but from the pain she caught in his eyes just before he did, she knew something wasn’t right. That was when she noticed he was breathing hard. His movements seemed jerky, and all of that calm composure he’d always had was gone, replaced by something panicked and animalistic. He took two ragged breaths in and she waited, keeping her hand on his forearm.

  “He’s dead,” he told her, clenching his jaw. He blinked rapidly; he was clearly fighting tears. Davis’s heart stilled.

  “Who?” she said. “Cole, who?”

  “Noah. Guy from the FEUDS. Davis,” he whispered, moving toward her—and this time it was he who needed comfort—“I killed him.”

  She tried not to pull away in shock, but she couldn’t keep her face impassive.

  He laughed bitterly, hopelessly. “How can you look at me after this? Of course you can’t. I didn’t mean to,” he said, his voice thick with desperation. “He pulled a knife on me … I didn’t know what I was doing until it was over.” He stopped, fighting for breath. His next words came out in a rush. “I’m a monster,” he spit out, choking on a sob. “I must disgust you.” He pulled away from her, kneading his forehead with one hand. And then he cried, freely.

  Davis had never seen a man lose control. But she wasn’t afraid or repulsed. She’d always needed him more than he needed her, but here he was, asking for her help. She moved toward him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and burying her face in his neck. She didn’t care about his blood or the way he looked or what he’d done because his heart was pure, and it was hers. “Shh,” she told him, running her hands through his hair. “It’s going to be okay. You didn’t have a choice. You’ll be okay.” She meant it. She didn’t know how, but she’d do anything to make it happen.

  He wiped his eyes roughly and kissed her cheek. He ran his hands through her hair. “This is all I wanted,” he said. “I saw your signal and I—I didn’t know for sure it was you, but I felt it, and I went after it, and all I wanted was to see you again. I had to run, I had to see you. And now … Oh, God.”

  “What, Cole? It’ll be okay, I promise. Whatever it is, we’ll work it out.”

  He shook his head violently. “How can it? Not after this. I’m as good as dead. Parson, the police—they’ll never rest until I’m hanged.”

  His words pierced her. It couldn’t happen. She was filled with a profound urgency. She wouldn’t let it happen. She put one hand on his face, one on the back of his neck, forcing him to look at her. “Cole,” she said. “You’re not a monster. And you’re not going to die. We’re together. You know how we make things work when we’re together. No one can stop us. You can’t give up.” He laughed a little, palming his eyes.

  “I won’t,” he whispered, meeting her gaze. “I’ll never give up if you’re beside me.”

  She looked hard into his eyes, which were wide and earnest. She knew
he meant it. He cared about her more than anything else—she could feel it in every word, every touch. She leaned closer to him. She was finally certain of everything she’d been feeling; it had come together upon seeing him, focusing itself in her heart.

  “I love you,” she whispered. “I love you so much.” He drew in a breath, then pulled her to him, kissing her urgently.

  “You’re cold,” he said, pulling back, breathless.

  “You, too. You’re the one without a shirt on,” she pointed out, smiling a little.

  “I’m okay. But your skin … you’re so cold.” He scanned the roof deck, and she followed his gaze to a tiny glass enclosure on the opposite end of the roof. “There,” he said, helping her stand up. “We’ll be warmer inside.” They walked over to the enclosure, his arms wrapped around her waist, steadying her.

  Once inside, she realized exactly how cold she’d been. Her body was shaking uncontrollably, and although he was shaking, too, her discomfort was more violent. She felt weak and tired, yet charged by his presence. “What is this?” she asked, looking around the tiny cubicle.

  “I’m not sure. A lookout point?” The room was bare aside from a set of high-definition, magnifying goggles. “Yeah, it’s gotta be a lookout of some sort. Here, come here.” He sat cross-legged against the glass, pulling her onto his lap. She leaned her back against him, and he nestled his chin in the crook of her neck. “I don’t deserve you,” he breathed into her skin. She felt goose bumps rise along her neck and shoulders and spine in response.

  “That isn’t true,” she heard herself insist. “It’s the other way around. I could be dying. If you were smart, you’d leave me. You’d run away before you’re found.” She pulled away from him a little, but he wrestled her back into him. Their body heat was slowly warming her, and she found herself wriggling closer into his embrace. “I won’t let you stay here and die for me,” she whispered.

  “You don’t even know.” He laughed. “I don’t have a choice. I love you.” He paused, and she let the words wash over her in a warm rush. “I’d die without you. Don’t you get it?” She turned a little so her torso was angled sideways against his, and he cradled her head to his chest. “No matter what, I’ll be with you. I’m not going to leave you again. I’d die sooner than let anything happen to you. No matter how bad things get. I’m immune to Narxis, Davis. Without you, there’s nothing. I’ll find you a cure. I’ll protect you. Leaving you isn’t an option.”

  She twisted toward him and looked up, and his lips were there, on hers, and his tongue was searching her mouth, and everything around them was electrified.

  “We can’t be together always,” she told him, finally pulling apart. She struggled to find the words; her breath was uneven, and all she wanted to do was bury herself inside him. But she had to say this one thing. “You need to go in the morning, Cole. Stay for now, but then you have to go. It’s the only way for us to have a chance. If they catch you with me in the morning…” Her words trailed off, but they both knew the implications.

  “But if I go, this might be it. Our last night together.” He didn’t say “forever,” but the word hung between them, unspoken.

  “If you don’t go, it will be our last night together. If you go—and try to save yourself—we have a chance.” Davis felt tears flowing down her cheeks and neck, and he bent to kiss them away, starting at her collarbone until she was gasping for breath. He pulled her face to his, ever so gently, but his mouth found hers with an intensity she’d never felt. She moved backward until she was lying on the cold cement rooftop, and she brought his body with her. He pulled back for a brief second, his eyes searching. But she’d never wanted anything more. She didn’t have to answer him; he saw it, and then he was on top of her, strong but as gentle as she’d ever been touched. It was more and bigger than anything she’d ever felt. Every brush of his lips on her skin made her feel whole and alive, more so than anything ever had—even dancing, even leaping across the stage in the most exhilarating of highs.

  He was hers, and every touch conveyed it. He ran his finger down her neck, onto her collarbone, her breastbone, her stomach. She pulled him to her, pressing her body against his, fully aware of how warm his skin felt. She kissed his stomach and chest, tasting the salt from his fight. He cradled her to him, kissing her lips and cheeks and forehead and finally just holding her there in the night until they were charged, both so charged, but unbearably exhausted.

  She didn’t want to fall asleep. She wanted to hit pause on this night forever, just live in these moments. But finally she felt herself fading into the comfort of his embrace. “I love you,” she whispered … or at least she thought she had said it, but it was hard now to distinguish reality from a dream. He kissed her shoulder and pulled her tighter, and she let herself relax into him, allowing the whole world to fade away.

  18

  COLE

  When he woke, Davis was stirring and the darkness of the night was just beginning to fade. At first it seemed like a miracle, waking with her small, beautiful body in his arms. Her face was pressed against his arm, and he never wanted to move it. But the fluttering of her eyelashes as she blinked away sleep tickled, and when he moved just a little, she opened her pretty green eyes.

  “I love you,” he whispered, just as she whispered, “You have to leave.”

  He laughed ruefully. “Not exactly the kind of good morning I hoped to hear.” She smiled up at him and kissed him once, then twice on the lips, but he could tell she was serious, and he knew she was right. “I’ll leave,” he told her. “But only because it’s the best way for me to make sure we have more nights like this one.” She nodded, burying her head against his chest. He felt her silky brown waves against his skin and tried to memorize the sensation so he could play it on repeat after he’d gone.

  “God,” he groaned, pulling her toward him. “Life was much easier without you, Ms. Morrow. Much easier and much less amazing.” She shoved him lightly with one hand and pried herself from his arms, which was a good thing, because he didn’t trust himself to let her go.

  “Get out of here,” she ordered, her voice firm. Still, she couldn’t meet his gaze. “The sooner you leave, the sooner we’ll be together again.”

  “Promise me,” he pleaded, “that you’ll take care of yourself. We’ll find you a cure. But promise you’ll stay in the hospital and let them take care of you until I can come back for you.” He grasped her hand, squeezing it tighter as he spoke.

  She nodded, pulling her gaze to his. “I promise,” she said. The sun’s first rays began to filter over the rooftop, and they both saw it at the same time. “Go,” she told him. “You need to go right now.”

  “I’ll look for you, forever,” he told her. “I love you.” He bent over her for one last, lingering kiss. And then he was gone.

  * * *

  Cole went home first. He had to disappear entirely, but if he left any kind of note, he’d be putting his family in danger, too. He had to say his good-byes quickly, and in person. As soon as he stepped inside his mother’s bedroom and saw her sleeping figure, he knew he’d made the right choice in taking the risk. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, careful not to wake her. He wanted to say good-bye, and that he was sorry for putting her through all the worry and stress she must be feeling. He wanted to explain to her that everything was about to get better, with just a little time … if she could only give him some time, he’d fix it all. But waking her—and fielding her questions—would be a mistake. Instead, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze and walked as soundlessly as possible from the room.

  Outside the house, the air was blustery. Cole’s only thought was how to disappear, and where. He stood for a second in front of the house, trying to sort out his thoughts. It was still early enough that not many people were out and about, so he was startled when he heard a loud “Hey,” and swiveled quickly, instantly on his guard.

  Michelle stood before him, tearful and disheveled, her thick hair tangled and crazy looking. She
’d obviously been hoping to catch him—she lived a five-minute walk away, but she must have been staking out the place, hoping he’d show up. “Hi,” he said, his tone guarded. He looked left and right, trying to judge whether this was another trap—whether Michelle was out for the ultimate revenge, locking him away for good.

  “Cole, I—” She moved toward him and winced when he took a step back, away from her.

  “What do you want, Michelle?”

  She lifted a fist to her mouth, her red-rimmed eyes tearing up for what clearly wasn’t the first time. She had dark circles under the red. “So you know,” she said.

  Cole nodded, feeling his jaw tense up.

  “I’m so sorry,” she choked out. “I thought I was protecting you. I thought … I thought if I told them, I’d save you from Noah. I thought if you were in jail, at least you’d be alive.”

  “That’s fucked-up logic, Michelle,” Cole said, but he was already losing some of the anger that had fueled him a moment ago. She looked a mess. And she looked sincere. Somewhere inside, she probably really had been trying to look out for him.

  “I know,” she said, struggling to speak through her tears. “And I’m so sorry. You have no idea. You have to believe me, Cole. I thought you were going to die. Please believe me—I don’t care what happened between us. I just care about you. I heard a rumor. Noah was talking to some of the guys…” She trailed off, but Cole perked up.

  “Yeah? About the knife?”

  She bit her lip, nodding. “He said he wanted to kill you. That he would kill you. Please believe I never thought it would wind up like this. I thought you’d be safe in jail … and now Noah’s dead. It’s all my fault.” Michelle broke down, sobbing. She stood there, her hands covering her face, and she looked so sad, so hopeless. Cole felt his guard crack. She’d caused so much trouble, but she’d been confused—trying to help in her own misguided way. He couldn’t help going to her.