Watch Me

by Ada Frost

  “Abigail, come here a sec.” I waited a moment, my foot holding the bin open. When she staggered into the kitchen, wrapped in a mountain of blankets, I watched her expression. It went from tiredly annoyed to panicked.

  “I didn’t steal them,” she exclaimed.

  I dropped the sandwiches in the bin and caused her to screech at me. She opened the bin and pulled them out.

  “What the hell? They’re out of date. You can’t eat them.”

  “It’s a sell by date. They can’t be sold. They’re fine.”

  “No. You’ll get food poisoning. Give me them,” I demanded, but she clung to them like they were her life. “What the hell is going on? And why is your gym bag full of dirty clothes?”

  She grabbed at the holdall and hid it behind her back. “I need you to go now.” She coughed.

  “I’m not leaving until you tell me exactly what’s going on.”

  “Nothing’s going on,” she wheezed. She sounded like she was choking.

  “Why are you lying to me?”

  “Just leave.”

  “Was this your mother’s house?” I asked, noting the decor. It wasn’t indicative of a twenty-something woman.

  Abby wiped at her eyes and refused to answer.

  “Talk to me,” I implored. I’d contact Sam and ask to know exactly what was in her file if she didn’t start talking. For some reason Scarlet’s comments and Sam’s odd behaviour were beginning to set off alarm bells. My stubborn refusal to even read the dossier when Samuel employed her was a serious fall in judgement at this present moment. She looked so alone and lost wrapped in her mound of blankets. She wasn’t at all the woman I’d come to recognise at work. Her nose was bright red and sore at the nostrils. Her lips were chapped and she was so gaunt and pale.

  “It was my mum’s,” she whimpered.

  “I know.”

  “I refuse...” She paused as she coughed into her overused tissue. I pulled out my handkerchief and handed it to her. “I won’t give this up,” she sobbed bravely. She was crying, weak with flu, and could barely speak through her coughs, but the strength in her was lurking beneath the surface.

  My girl was still in there. The fighter. The true survivor.

  “No one is asking you to.”

  She released a bitter laugh and turned away from me to head into the lounge. She plonked herself on the sofa and sat hunched over.

  “When Mum died, everything came to me. The house, the car, and the debts. She was sick for so long, and toward the end I couldn’t not be with her. I stopped working to look after her. I wanted every moment to count. I didn’t want to be at work or anywhere else when she left me. She was my best friend, and losing her has been the hardest thing I’ve ever lived through. It was always just me and her. Dad was never around. He left when I was a toddler, and I was okay with that. I had Mum. When I applied and got into university, she was so proud. We both prepared everything, moving away, when I would visit. All of it was planned, and then she got sick.” Abby wiped at her eyes. It was killing me not to go to her, but I was afraid she’d stop talking.

  “Before Mum died, debts were piling up with no income coming in. It just got worse after she was gone. She didn’t have life insurance. It expired, and I never realised. I had to pay for the funeral. For quite a few months after I couldn’t function. I was so depressed with grief I just didn’t want to get out of bed, but money burns up quickly. My debts on top of Mum’s were too much. I took any work I could get, even temporary contracts in the hope that they would find more work and keep me on. About three months ago the gas and electricity were cut off because of the arrears I’m in.”

  “You haven’t had heat for three months?”

  “No.”

  “How do you wash?”

  “I have water. It’s just cold.”

  “Jesus Christ, Abigail. You could’ve died of pneumonia.”

  “I’m not giving up this house. I’ll work until I can pay some of the debts back. My last wage from you was enough to cover the mortgage and a nice chunk of the electricity bill I owe.”

  “And the sandwiches?” I asked. Stuff was beginning to slip into place.

  “The meals at work were great, but when you said all the premade stuff was thrown away, I took them home, and that way I could eat dinner too.” She dipped her chin, hiding her face from me.

  “Abigail, look at me.” When she lifted her face, her eyes were ringed red, but the shame in them crippled me. “Why didn’t you ask for help? I would’ve helped you. Lacey would have helped.”

  “Don’t tell her, please.”

  “Why?”

  “She offered to help. But I couldn’t accept. Mum managed for years as a single parent. She raised me alone, working jobs and still providing food for me. She did it. She succeeded. All she ever used to say was Make me proud, Abby. How am I making her proud when I can’t even feed myself? I have to steal scraps.” She doubled over sobbing and coughing. “I can’t go to the doctor; I can’t afford a prescription, Lawson. I know I’ve likely got a chest infection, but I simply can’t afford it.”

  I couldn’t stand it any longer. I knelt down before her and wrapped her in my arms. Women had tried every which way to get to my money and status. They had propositioned me. Lied to me. Begged me. Seduced me. This woman, the one who had totally claimed me, desired nothing from me but my devotion, and she needed more than any of those money grabbing wenches.

  “Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It can be a display of bravery, that you’re willing to let people see you when you’re vulnerable. You’re mum would be so proud of you. You know why?”

  She shook her head, her bottom lip trembling.

  “Because you never gave up.” She dissolved into a fit of jerky tears and pressed her face against my shoulder.

  “I’m here. You don’t have to do it alone. I tell you what’s going to happen, Miss Warner,” I said hefting her and her mountainous blankets into my arms. “I am taking you to the doctor. Then I’m taking you to my house to meet Brie, and then you’re staying there until you’re better. If you dare argue, I will simply tie you to the bed.”

  “Why are you not angry? I thought you’d call me a money grabbing whore.”

  “Because, you stubborn fool, you're killing yourself keeping this all a secret. Hiding it behind a beautiful smile. Well, that shit isn’t working anymore. You’re on Team Stone now, and we work together.”

  “I’m not asking for your money, Lawson.”

  “I never said you did. But I’m going to take care of you, whether you like it or not.”

  “I love you. I just need you to know that,” she mumbled into my chest.

  “Keep saying that, Abby, and I will give you the world.”

  “I just want you, nothing more. I didn’t even like you, but you defeated me with your brand of crazy.”

  Her honesty, although brutal, was perfect. She was perfect and completely and utterly mine.

  “Come on, let me take care of you.”

  “I’m covered in germs.”

  “You’re worth the struggle.”

  When we arrived at Lawson’s home, there was a bright yellow mini parked in the driveway that had black bumble bee stickers on the backend. When Lawson’s car parked beside it, Brie climbed out. She had changed into tight workout leggings and a sweatshirt.

  “Ready?” Lawson asked as he opened his door.

  “No.”

  “Tough.”

  When I climbed out of the car, the cool air caused another fit of coughing. It was a wonderful way to make a first impression on someone.

  “Hey, is everything okay?”

  “Yeah thanks for waiting; she has a severe chest infection. Brie, this is Abigail Warner – my girlfriend.” When Brie beamed up at him, a small smile played at my lips. He’d stayed true to his word and taken me to the Doctor even knowing Brie was waiting for us. She’d called while we were in the waiting room.

  “I hate to be a bitch, but I really don’
t want to get too close. I’ve an important match in a couple of days that I cannot miss.”

  “Oh,” I said, not really understanding.

  Lawson rolled his eyes and nudged her with his elbow. The action was so indicative of sibling behaviour I felt even more foolish.

  “I understand.”

  “But, once the match is over, I’m heading back here, we’re having a few drinks, and I need to know the secret.”

  “What secret?”

  “How you managed to remove the stick from up his arse,” she teased. I loved this woman.

  “I should warn you, Abigail, Brie is a total brat.”

  “That is true. I’m a total pain in his arse,” she added proudly.

  “Me too, we’re a match made in heaven.” I smiled, just as another coughing fit started. Lawson ushered me inside as I tried to say my goodbyes and apologies to Brie.

  The warmth around me was too addictive to give up so I snuggled farther into it. Loving the scent and softness. I’d spent my time recouping in his gorgeously warm bed.

  “You can’t avoid waking up forever.” Lawson’s deep rumbling voice echoed through his chest.

  “I can,” I groaned, sliding under the quilt. My head didn’t feel as fuzzy, and for once I didn’t wake up shivering and mentally doing a countdown, daring myself to get out of bed into the cold.

  “We need to talk.”

  Uh-oh. I hated those words.

  We need to talk, Abby. I have cancer - my Mum’s words that seemed to end my world.

  We need to talk, Abby. I don’t want to see you anymore - my dickhead of an ex who decided to dump me the day I found out about Mum.

  We need to talk, Miss Warner. I love your pussy, but you’re just a tad too crazy for me. I could certainly see him saying those words. I was too freaking pathetic and scared to hear them.

  “I need a pee,” I muttered, feeling an intense fear of losing him.

  “Please go. Last time you said that, moments later you coughed and let’s just say women can multi-task but it isn’t always a good thing.” He pulled the quilt from me and rather strongly pushed me to the edge of the bed. Mortified beyond compare, I leapt from the bed and hid in the bathroom. After the world’s longest pee, and tooth brushing, I forced myself to stop procrastinating and go face the man.

  He was sitting in bed, looking delicious without his top on, wearing only a pair of tight white boxers. His legs were crossed at the ankles, and his thick thighs framed his wonderful dick. His sculptured abs were teasing me to taste them.

  “Before you devour me, Miss Warner, we need to talk.” My gaze lifted to his hooded one. Heat filled my cheeks, and my nipples tightened, pointing straight at him.

  “I feel a fool,” I stated as I stood at the foot of the bed. Should I apologise now, maybe attempt a little begging. Claim temporary insanity?

  “You were a fool.”

  “You could be a little more sympathetic. I was ill,” I huffed.

  “So you want me to lie?” he teased, patting the bed.

  “No.” I crawled up the bed and sat crossed legged beside him.

  “You were a complete bloody idiot.”

  “Okay, lie. Lie until you’re blue in the face. You would’ve done the same thing if I’d been all cosy with a guy in my office,” I grumbled, snuggling into his chest when his arm snaked around my waist and pulled me into him.

  “Not true. I wouldn’t have gone home without demanding to know what the fucking prick was doing with his arms around my woman.”

  “Your woman?”

  “Damn right you are.”

  I smiled. Lawson Stone had me in his arms, in his home, and one day I was determined to be in his heart too.

  “Did you like her, Brie I mean?” he asked hesitantly.

  “Yeah, she was lovely. I hope she doesn’t get sick.” I’d feel like crap if I made her ill after accusing her of stealing Lawson.

  “Might keep her off the rugby field a while if she did.”

  “You act like her big brother.”

  “We grew up together. She used to kick the bullies’ arses for me when they beat me up.”

  “She did not.” I laughed.

  “Nah, that was Samuel’s job.”

  “I thought you said you only had one friend, and that was Sam?”

  “I guess I’ve never really thought of her as a friend, more like family. Marie was my childminder, come surrogate parent when my own parents didn’t want me. Brie and I shared everything. I vowed I’d always be there for them. When I made enough money, I bought Marie a new bungalow, somewhere quiet with a garden. She always wanted a garden. A few years after that, I managed to send Brie to university. Then I bought this place.”

  I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly. People called him heartless, but he had the warmest most loving heart I’d ever known.

  “Mum and Lacey are my best friends. Or Mum was.”

  “She always will be.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “That’s kind of what I want to talk to you about. While you were passed out, I instructed my solicitors and accountants to draw up some contracts for you to look through.”

  “What sort of contracts?”

  “I’ll loan you the money, every penny you need to pay off your debts, and the house.”

  “No.”

  “The solicitors have made it so that it is a loan, not charity. You’ll pay a fixed amount into an account each month that is affordable to you.”

  “What?”

  “It will then transfer to your children once they’re twenty-one.”

  “What?”

  “Abigail, I don’t need the money, and I know you won’t allow me to pay for your debts or help you in that way. So I’ll loan you the money.”

  “But you aren’t loaning me it. You’re giving it to my kids. What if those kids aren’t yours? What if we split in a few weeks? What if I don’t have kids?”

  “Donate it to charity. The contract states I can’t refute the loan or its terms. I have no claim to the house or the money. And should I die, it’s been included in my will that the loan stands. No one can make a claim otherwise.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “Because I love you, and I can’t watch while you suffer. I have a feeling you’ll insist we live there together one day anyway, so it makes sense to own it.”

  “What? Say that again.”

  “I won’t watch you suffer.”

  I slapped his chest, causing him to laugh.

  “I love you, Miss Warner. Why I need to say that is a little vexing.”

  “It’s nice to hear. But you can’t do this, Lawson.”

  “Loving you is a done deal.”

  “Not that, the loan.”

  “I can.”

  “You can’t.”

  Negotiations ended when he rolled me onto my back and proceeded to show me exactly how much he loved me. Pressing his lips to my ear, he whispered, “Watch me.”

  It had been two blissful years of mind-blowing sex, inappropriate messaging, his incessant nagging about cleanliness, and feeling completely in love with the man I now shared my home with. There wasn’t a toy brought into the office without my man first sampling it on me, and making me scream his name numerous times. My poor desk had been defiled, his desk inappropriately used, and his bathroom was now like a second home. Lawson might be able to watch his production company and staff create porn with bored disinterest, but let his gaze fall upon me for short moments, and the fire I loved him for would burn bright.

  That was what led to the biggest change in our relationship. He moved in about six months after we declared our feelings for one another. At first, I had reservations he would actually give up his massive home. However, one night after a very physical round of dirty shagging, he pulled me into his side, stated quite plainly that he was sick of living out of his overnight bag, and would be putting his house up for sale. He didn’t ask. He simply stated what he wanted, and I was fully on board with it
. What I wasn’t prepared for was the three sleepless nights spent while he thought he was sneaking around cleaning. The man was louder than a herd of elephants stampeding over bubble wrap.

  Today, was killing my nerves. I’d been an emotional ball of nerves for weeks. The chaos of organising a wedding was killing both Lawson’s libido and mine. He was a raving cleaning freak, and I just wanted to gorge on chocolate, curl into a ball, and watch romantic comedies. Today was taking everything inside me to stay calm. Checking my reflection in the mirror once more, I ran my hands down my long silk gown. I couldn’t even be excited about the killer heels I was wearing or the gorgeous lace corset underneath because Lawson had been such a grizzly bear I was beginning to have a real fear he wouldn’t even show. There would be a huge gaping hole in the wedding, and the day for me would be completely ruined.

  “I’ve never seen you so nervous,” Lacey said softly as she wrapped her arms around me from behind. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” She ran her hands over the intricate beadwork on the bodice and rested her chin on my shoulder. “Stop stressing.”

  “What if he ruins everything? You know how he gets. He isn’t like us, Lace. He likes everything perfect, organised, matching. This may just push him over the edge from crazy into catatonic.”

  “Are you saying my wedding is a disorganised mess?” My best friend in the entire world pulled away from me and turned her back to me. Her gorgeous white gown swished around her in a swirl of white satin.

  “No. God, no. Lace…” I choked, and tears filled my eyes. Emotion clogged my throat, preventing me from saying another thing. I don’t know what I meant, I was falling to pieces.

  Lacey turned to face me, a huge radiant smile on her face.

  “Babe, I’m joking.” She came up to me and entwined her fingers through mine. “Lawson will be absolutely perfect.”

  “You asked him to carry Felix,” I argued. My cousin and her soon to be wife had a baby boy nine months ago via donor insemination. They planned for a sibling for little Felix next year when Leah would get pregnant. My honorary nephew – I liked being called Aunt Abby by Lacey – made me so unbelievably broody, but I knew it would be an uphill struggle to convince Lawson to have kids. The man was so anal about everything, the pandemonium of a child would surely finish him off. He could barely handle me.