A Hallowed Place

by Caro Fraser

  ‘Quite so, my Lord …’ Leo hesitated, trying to free his mind from thoughts of Joshua. There was a pause of several seconds, then he managed to find his way back to his argument. ‘In this case, however, my Lord, I would submit that although there is no express agreement that the adjustment was to be binding, when the policy is considered in context, that is its clear effect.’ He glanced up at Dent, who was surveying Leo with an expression of sour disfavour. Right, thought Leo, hitching his gown a little on his shoulders. Prepare to be convinced. He gave a sudden, dazzling smile, which had the effect of quite disconcerting Mr Justice Dent, and continued, ‘Allow me to summarise my submissions as follows …’

  Sitting next to Leo, Sarah stifled a yawn and decided that she needn’t take any notes. Leo appeared to know what he was doing. Instead, she let her mind wander to the matter of Anthony. It was most convenient that Camilla was going to be in Bermuda for a few weeks. That gave her ample time to put her little plan into action. As a mere idle amusement, it would be enjoyable to test the strength of Anthony’s commitment to Camilla. Besides, she had no current lover and Anthony, as she recalled, was more than very good in bed. It was really a means of killing several birds with one stone. By destroying the perfect relationship between Anthony and Camilla, she would pay him back very nicely for having been crass enough to dump her once, and Camilla for having had the gall, two days ago, to ask her to fetch some books from the library. She might be merely a pupil, but Sarah didn’t see why she had to take orders from someone like Camilla, who had been her inferior at Oxford in almost every way that Sarah could think of, except perhaps intellectually. And there was the additional pleasure, if things worked out, of having Anthony in her bed for a pleasant while. The whole exercise was something of a challenge. She had nothing to lose …

  Suddenly Sarah became aware of Leo’s fingers gently snapping in the direction of the books which lay in front of her. God, he must be referring to one of the authorities in his argument, and she hadn’t a clue which one. Her face pinkening, she fumbled among the volumes, until Leo, murmuring ‘Excuse me,’ to Mr Justice Dent, leant over and picked up one of the Chancery volumes and opened it where it was marked. Sarah noticed that he held it some distance from his eyes, then slowly drew it closer to focus before reading aloud from the pages. She smiled despite her own previous momentary embarrassment. There was something funny about seeing Leo, the brilliant advocate, the sexual conqueror, at a loss without his reading glasses.

  By lunch time, Leo was weary of the battle. He could tell that Dent wasn’t going to accept his argument that a payment made on account couldn’t subsequently be reclaimed if it were shown that nothing in fact was due. Well, he hardly blamed him. He didn’t think much of it himself. He let out a long sigh as he and Sarah walked the echoing flagged corridors from the court room.

  Sarah glanced up at him. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t find the right volume. I’m afraid I wasn’t really concentrating.’

  Leo was mildly surprised that Sarah should demean herself so far as to offer an apology for anything. ‘Forget it,’ he murmured and stopped outside the robing room. ‘Look, I’ve got a few phone calls to make in chambers. Would you mind picking me up some sandwiches and coffee, and bringing them to my room?’

  ‘Okay.’ Sarah left him and walked thoughtfully to the women’s robing room to take off her wig and gown. Something strange had occurred in the court room that morning. For the first time since she had known him, Sarah saw Leo in a new light. The quality of her feelings escaped her. They were beyond definition. It had to do with something small and simple, like the way Leo had difficulty in making out the words on the page. Maybe it was just pity. Poor old Leo. Still, it came to everyone, even the Leo Davies of this world. You couldn’t stay young for ever. Alone in the robing room, Sarah looked into the mirror and smiled at her reflection.

  ‘I know I’ve left it late,’ said Leo. He had rung Rachel at work to discuss seeing Oliver that weekend. ‘But if you didn’t have anything special planned, I can’t see what difference it makes. I’d really like to see him.’

  ‘What were you thinking of doing?’ asked Rachel dubiously. She knew it was wrong of her, but somehow, since their conversation in the pub, she didn’t really like the idea of Oliver being away from her for a day, even with Leo.

  ‘I don’t know.’ Leo hadn’t given it proper thought. ‘I might take him to Stanton. I haven’t been there in a while.’ This was the village not far from Oxford where Leo had a house, a beautiful old place in secluded grounds. He had owned it when Rachel first met him, and she felt a sudden pang at the memories she had of it. I was happy there, once, thought Rachel suddenly. It seemed odd, to think of Leo and Oliver there without her. An incomplete unit.

  ‘I suppose I can’t really say no,’ she sighed.

  ‘Why would you want to?’ asked Leo abruptly.

  ‘He’s still so little, Leo …’

  ‘Christ, Rachel, it’s only for a day.’ Leo passed a hand over his brow. A heavy morning in court after the late night before had given him a headache. Maybe Felicity had some Nurofen. ‘How else am I supposed to spend time with him? I can’t exactly come to Bath and make up a happy menage a trois with you and Charles, can I?’

  ‘Don’t get so angry about it! I said you can see him. I was just explaining how I feel.’

  ‘He’s my son, too. I want to see him regularly. And if you won’t—’

  ‘Leo, stop it! I’m not going into that argument again! You can come down and pick him up on Sunday. I’ll have everything ready. About ten.’

  ‘Fine,’ said Leo and hung up.

  He sat with his face in his hands. It was the one area in his life where he felt defenceless. Oliver was something he could not shrug off. Not the way he had shrugged off Rachel. It was going to be an uphill battle to gain the kind of access to him that he wanted.

  Sarah knocked lightly on the door and came in.

  Leo looked up. ‘Good girl,’ he said, as she put down some sandwiches and a Styrofoam cup of coffee. ‘God, what a day. One damn thing after another.’ He saw that Sarah still had her coffee and sandwiches in her hand, about to take them back to her own room. ‘Stay, if you like,’ said Leo. He had a sudden wish for company. Sarah, for all her devious, designing ways, and for all the danger implicit in the fact that she probably knew him better than anyone, was at least someone with whom he could relax.

  ‘All right,’ said Sarah. She sat down opposite Leo, and popped the lid of her coffee and took a sip. ‘What’s up - apart from this morning, I mean?’

  ‘I have just been speaking to my dear, soon-to-be-ex wife,’ said Leo. ‘We are currently having a little wrangle over the amount of time I can spend with Oliver, our son.’

  ‘Right,’ said Sarah, not evincing much interest. She had never been able to understand how someone like Leo could get caught up in a mundane domestic situation. She had thought him above such average considerations. She remembered meeting Rachel at a party once and thinking she looked frigid. Had she been jealous of Rachel? Yes, possibly. There had been something galling in the fact that Rachel had, it seemed, managed to ground a free spirit such as Leo. Not that she, Sarah, had any intention of marrying anyone, ever, or doing anything as boring as having children.

  She watched Leo open his sandwiches. ‘I remembered you liked avocado and bacon.’

  Leo laughed, in spite of his headache and his wretched morning. ‘You used to make them for me at the house in Stanton.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Sarah. ‘Afterwards.’ It was true. She looked at Leo now, without embarrassment, and remembered all the times she’d had sex with him, wonderful and occasionally strange sex, and then making sandwiches afterwards. There had been James, too, of course. That had been a long, hot summer … What had happened to the Leo of those days?

  ‘Mmm. Afterwards.’ Leo gave Sarah a thoughtful glance and took a bite of his sandwich. They ate in companionable silence for a while, then Leo asked, ‘What are you thinking about?�
�

  Sarah sipped at her coffee. ‘I was wondering why you ever got married.’

  He stared at her for a few seconds. There was no point in dissembling where Sarah was concerned. And it would be a relief to tell someone the truth. ‘If you really want to know, I got married as a means of advancement,’ said Leo. ‘Simple as that. You remember the business with James and the reporter from the Sun, all that stuff, don’t you?’ Sarah nodded. ‘My entire private life seemed to be blowing up in my face just as I was on the point of taking silk. I thought I had to convince the powers-that-be that I was a nice, normal boy, just the kind of chap they wanted as a QC.’

  ‘So you mean, marrying Rachel was an exercise in damage limitation?’

  ‘Something like that. A cover of respectability. Besides, she was pregnant.’

  Sarah snorted into her coffee. ‘You wouldn’t have married me if I’d got pregnant.’

  ‘How very true,’ murmured Leo. ‘But then, what kind of respectability would you have afforded me?’

  They both laughed. ‘None,’ admitted Sarah. ‘Bastard.’

  ‘Now,’ said Leo, gathering up the sandwich wrapper and draining his coffee, ‘leave me in peace to make some more phone calls. I’ll see you back in court at two sharp. And this time, pay attention when I’m on my feet.’

  As he came back from court later that afternoon, Leo met Roderick crossing Caper Court.

  ‘Chap from the Estates Committee rang this afternoon,’ said Roderick. ‘Good news - though you won’t necessarily like it. It seems they’re quite keen for us to take up the lease on these new chambers. So much so, that they’re offering to throw in free carpeting and shelving.’

  ‘Why on earth should they do that?’

  ‘Well, look at it from their point of view. We’re a much better bet for the rent than some criminal set. Anyway, from where we stand, it makes the place an even more attractive proposition. I went up to have a look with Michael the other day. It’s got much more promise than we thought at first, now that they’re getting on with the renovations. The whole place is being completely gutted. We could be in there by the new year.’

  Leo gave a wry smile. ‘You’ll never convince me.’

  ‘I’m off to meet Stephen in the Devereaux for a swift drink. Care to join us?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Leo. ‘I just want to drop these papers off and have a word with Anthony first.’

  ‘I think you’ll find he’s already gone. I saw him leave with Camilla about ten minutes ago. Love’s young dream, eh?’

  ‘Quite,’ said Leo, and went up the stairs to 5 Caper Court.

  In his room he hesitated, then picked up the telephone and dialled the number of his Belgravia flat. At the other end the phone rang and rang, unanswered. Leo stood there for a full minute before putting the phone down at last. What had he expected? Why should he imagine that Joshua might still be there? None the less, after last night, he had hoped. He realised that the hope had been there at the back of his mind all day. What would he find when he got home? Perhaps he should go straight back now and discover the worst. Then it occurred to him, like a light breaking in his mind. Of course - Joshua had gone to work. In his relief at this simple realisation, Leo instinctively wanted there and then to call him at the Galleria, to hear Joshua’s voice, to know that all was well. With a hand that trembled faintly with excitement, he picked up the phone again. He fumbled the card with the number on it from his jacket pocket and pressed the numbers.

  ‘Hello, Galleria Flore?’

  Leo recognised the voice of the Australian girl who worked behind the bar.

  ‘Hello. I’d like to speak to Joshua.’

  ‘Joshua? I don’t think he’s come in yet. Just a minute.’ Leo could hear the sounds of muted conversation at the other end. His heart tightened within him as he waited. The Australian girl spoke again. ‘Hello? The manager says Joshua isn’t working here any more. He rang in before lunch and said he wouldn’t be back.’

  Leo felt a chill spread throughout his body. He couldn’t lose him. Not now. God, not now. ‘Did he leave a number? I mean, do you have a contact number for him, or his home address?’

  The girl’s voice drifted off as she spoke again to someone in the background. ‘I’m sorry, that’s all we know,’ she said at last.

  ‘I see. Thank you.’ Leo put down the phone. It all slipped into place. Last night had meant nothing to Joshua. The boy had taken him for a complete fool. He must have woken up this morning, alone in the flat, had seen his chance to take what he could and chucked in his job so that Leo would never track him down. That was the end of it. Leo wondered what he would find when he got back. Or not find. Not that he cared. At that moment, Leo felt he would gladly have surrendered every last valuable possession for the assurance that he would see Joshua again, and have his love. But that was now the remotest hope possible.

  Leo stood there for a few minutes, wondering if he should go straight home. What was the point? Joshua would have done whatever he wanted to by this time. He would see about getting the locks changed tomorrow. Right now, he would join Roderick and Stephen, and drown this fresh misery in a few whiskies.

  Anthony and Camilla made their way along the riverside to the Blueprint Cafe, which Anthony had earmarked for dinner that evening.

  ‘What time did you book for?’ asked Camilla.

  ‘I didn’t book,’ remarked Anthony. ‘I didn’t think we needed to.’

  Camilla stopped in her tracks. ‘Anthony, you are joking! It’s a Friday night! Of course we needed to book. Now we’ve walked all this way for nothing.’ She stared around the deserted street in exasperation. ‘Why couldn’t we have got a cab, anyway?’

  ‘I thought it was going to be a nice evening,’ replied Anthony, as a few large spots of rain began to fall. ‘Besides, you don’t know it’s going to be fully booked. We might as well go and see.’

  ‘And then find we have to walk all the way back in the rain. Why don’t we just cut our losses and turn round now?’

  They stood there for a few minutes, arguing in the now steady drizzle. Neither had an umbrella.

  ‘Well, where else do you suggest we go?’ said Anthony at last.

  ‘I don’t know. But there’s no point in going to the Blueprint Cafe.’

  ‘You don’t know that.’

  ‘Anthony, this is pathetic. I’m going back.’ Camilla turned round and began to walk back along the street.

  Anthony hurried after her. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. ‘Look, we’ll find a cab and go somewhere where we will get a table.’

  ‘To be honest,’ sighed Camilla, ‘I don’t want to slog around looking for a restaurant. I’m too tired. Let’s just go back to your place and order a takeaway.’

  Anthony shrugged. ‘All right.’ He felt slightly depressed. Camilla seemed to have been in a bad mood ever since they left chambers.

  It took them twenty minutes to find a cab, and by the time they got back to Anthony’s Kensington flat they were both wet through and short-tempered.

  ‘Put this on,’ said Anthony, chucking Camilla his terry towelling bathrobe. Camilla got out of her wet clothes and snuggled into it. Once Anthony had changed out of his damp suit and made them both a drink, she was beginning to feel better. Still, at the back of her mind there lurked some small seed of annoyance. Maybe it was the pressure of work, or the thought of the Bermuda trip next week. She was feeling intensely nervous about that, even though she was confident she could handle the work.

  ‘Come here,’ said Anthony, pulling her towards him on the sofa.

  She snuggled against him, wondering why the touch and warmth of him did not soothe her, as it usually did. ‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured.

  ‘What for?’

  ‘Being such a cow.’

  ‘You’re not. You never could be.’ Anthony kissed her, slipping a hand inside the robe, stroking her breast, enjoying the familiar slow surge of desire.

  ‘Anthony,’ said Camil
la, breaking gently away, ‘I swear if I don’t eat something soon I’m going to expire.’

  ‘All right.’ Anthony rose reluctantly and went to phone the local curry house. ‘Fifteen minutes,’ he said, returning from the phone. ‘Think you can wait that long?’

  ‘I’ll have to,’ murmured Camilla. She wished she could smile, be pleasant, feel happy.

  ‘So,’ said Anthony. He sat back down and put an arm around her, picking up his drink with the other. ‘Have you thought any more about moving in on a permanent basis?’

  Camilla sat up slightly, drawing her fingers through her auburn hair, wishing they didn’t have to have this conversation. Not in her present mood. ‘Yes, I have. And I’m not sure if it’s such a good idea, really.’ Her voice was unhappy.

  ‘Oh, come on,’ said Anthony gently. ‘You can’t live at home for ever. It’s not as though your parents would disapprove. They know you spend half your time here, anyway.’ He stroked some strands of hair away from her eyes. ‘I really would like you to move in, you know. I love you and I want to be with you as much as I can.’

  ‘Anthony, we’re with each other all day. We work in the same chambers. Do you really think it would be healthy, spending so much time in one another’s company?’

  ‘I hardly see you throughout the day.’

  ‘Yes, you do. Anyway, that’s not quite the point. It might make things claustrophobic, the idea that we don’t inhabit any space away from each other. I don’t think you’ve thought it through.’

  ‘I have. I want you to be here.’

  ‘And that’s another thing.’ Camilla sat up properly, looking at him with a candid gaze. ‘This is your place. Everything in it belongs to you. Don’t you think that I haven’t spent years dreaming of the time when I might be earning enough to find a place of my own, somewhere I could fill with my own things, make my own life? Apart from Oxford, I’ve never lived away from home. I don’t necessarily want just to move from my parents’ house into your place. I think I need to find my own independence before I make a commitment of that kind.’