by Sue Behnke
Jane’s face brightened at the mention of the Bereans. She smiled approvingly.
Benjamin started recounting his experience with the angel of grace. He was eagerly searching the faces, grasping at signs of approval. All in the room seemed kind but sober and mature. He felt like a child repeating a lesson to his parents. It was a nerve wracking experience.
Benjamin briefly touched on the dream of walking on water. It was just too personal. He was entirely embarrassed to mention it, so he sounded a bit gruff, waving his hand in a dismissive fashion as he sped through the fear of sharks that had gripped him in the dream.
He was eager to get to the third installment. He swallowed a bit and announced that this was the part that involved the present pastor, nodding toward Carl, and this church.
The tension in the room was palpable.
“I was taken up. I’m still not sure where I was. I saw a man. His clothes were kind of shiny, so much so that I could not discern his features. He looked down, and I was looking with him. The roof of the church peeled off, and I could see inside. I saw men and women speaking in hushed voices, criticizing the pastor and looking to replace him. I also saw women and children in another corner, alone and unprotected, looking afraid.
“The man said to me, ‘You and your wife are to stand by the pastor and his wife. They need prayer cover. You will tell him what I tell you.’
“‘Benjamin, tell this church that if they keep knifing their shepherd in the darkness of their hearts, this house will get divided and will not stand. Tell them that if that shepherd was struck, the sheep will scatter, and they would be like Absalom, rebellious before God. This pastor and his wife are called to create a new house. Even if the church does not understand them, they are to help them discern and build, not destroy them.
“‘Tell the pastor that if he truly will seek the will of God, he will create a rallying cry in the church, become the sound of a shofar, inviting the believers to unite and seek God’s face as a family.
“‘Tell the people of God they are no longer to put a mere person, even a chosen shepherd on a pedestal, expect him to be perfect, and pelt him with filth every time they realize he is but a man, human and weak. They are to embrace him and help him stand if they are to succeed.
“‘Benjamin, know that when people control the leadership of a church with threats and conditions, it is as the sin of witchcraft. Their control forces the church to swerve from God’s will and guidance and puts the congregation unwittingly in a state of disobedience, which is rebellion and witchcraft.
“‘Also know that when the people say falsely to the leadership that they had obtained divine guidance for the church and they mislead the church in that manner, they are guilty of the sin of occult before God, because occult is false guidance.’”
Benjamin took a deep breath and looked at the faces. He could see that they needed time to absorb this and analyze it. He was a bit disappointed and a tad fearful, not knowing what to do next. He had used words he was not sure were correct, imagery he did not understand. He felt like he did in the dream, walking on water.
Finally, he turned to the pastor and mentioned that there was a nightmare he just had where Carl also was mentioned.
Earlier, he had decided in his mind that he would speak to the pastor privately about this, it being so personal and such, but he was so out of his element, feeling extremely insecure. He just wanted to blurt the whole thing and run home. So he related the nightmare, image by image.
Maria eyes grew big. She let go a muffled cry and covered her mouth. The pastor went pale. Benjamin just waited there, wondering what the protocol would dictate now. Should he stay standing and wait for their verdict? Should he sit down, or should he leave? In truth, he would not have minded hiding under the carpet. He was not a man who enjoyed any form of limelight. He could see that at least his nightmare had an effect on his audience.
He looked at Jane. She did not seem eager to leave. He grunted and sat down.
Maria was the first to speak. Awe was etched on her face. She was speaking in an almost hushed voice.
“I believe the dream you described is a sign. Carl had that exact nightmare many times during his childhood. You have described it word for word. This is all so amazing!”
Carl looked at Benjamin and said, “Benjamin, can we chat about this some other time, you and I?” Benjamin assented with a nod and a grumble.
Benjamin noticed, sitting unassumingly in a corner, the man Bob looking on with tears in his eyes.
Chapter 42
A Leader of Leaders
Bob and Carl were sitting comfortably in Carl’s home. They had just finished supper with their wives, and they were having a Chai tea in the living room.
“Carl, I have to admit when I first heard Benjamin speak his prophesy, my heart broke. I felt that God had given you all that I had prayed and asked for most of my life. It seemed so unjust.
“I have prayed for a while now into this, and I believe that I have been blind. Actually, the Lord has answered my prayers, but not the way I wanted him to. He gave me to help you build this new house. I have promised God to keep you in prayer and stand by you in any capacity you deem important.”
Carl was so touched by the humility of this man. He was at a loss for words. But Bob looked at Maria and continued, “Maria, I believe the blueprint in your heart is extremely important and is not to be implemented in the flesh or lightly. If you can bear it, we need to create a committee of people who can pray, others who can make decisions, and more who can implement those decisions. I cannot insist on this. I’m not in that kind of position, so I offer it as counsel.”
Maria smiled, relieved. She looked hesitantly at Bob and asked him how she fit into this particular strategy.
Bob seemed to have given this matter a lot of thought, so he had a reply ready.
“I would like to suggest a committee, something like the first church did. One of my favorite passages in the Bible is something Peter and the disciples said and did when confronted with a new situation. They prayed and then agreed and obeyed the guidance they believed they received. There was no real hierarchy to the group. I always loved that part, and I try to emulate it in my life and ministry.”
Carl felt he was being spiritually fathered. He was so grateful for this mentor. He had so many questions, but he knew with patience all would be answered and given.
Chapter 43
A Human Pastor
Benjamin sat slowly in Carl’s office. He was curious about the dream, expectantly looking for some miraculous answers to unknown questions.
Benjamin was still wondering if he was a believer, whether he was interested in that particular denomination, or if he was a churchgoer for that matter. He was completely undecided, sitting on some weird fence, invisible to everyone except him.
Carl was very respectful though and seemed only interested in the nightmare in question. That was a relief. Benjamin was particularly grateful that no one had chosen to nitpick at the words he had given. No one had criticized or critiqued. These people did not use wit or crude jokes to express their insecurities, a sharp contrast from the dudes at work.
Carl started this exercise by sharing a bit about his childhood. Benjamin was immediately intrigued. The confidence of the pastor took him by surprise. He did not somehow think of him as someone who had a normal, flawed childhood.
“Benjamin, these days I often tell people that I was the beloved child of parents who did not know how to love me. There were always rules I could not comprehend … for nearly every facet of my life. There was no debating the rules. There were mealtimes, the homework hour, the bedtimes, the assigned chores. I lived my life feeling I had no control and no say over anything. My parents weren’t excessively angry or vicious when it came to punishment, yet they looked so disappointed in me if I ever expressed any sign of rebellion or made any mistakes.”
Carl paused. Benjamin looked absorbed in the conversation and did not interject, so Carl con
tinued, “School was pretty much the same. Follow the rules and work hard. No space for my individuality or creativity. Since I was always sensitive and shy, I developed a fear of making mistakes. Subconsciously, I had spent my life looking for rules to obey. I was never taught to take chances, to stand for what I believed was right or true. Follow the rules and all will be well.”
Carl spoke of his lifelong fear of punishment and fear of failure. They plagued him when he decided to follow God. How do you follow a perfect God when you are so afraid of your own imperfections? He tormented himself for years, attempting to become the perfect Christian. He, of course, only managed to create perfect facades and smoke screens.
A health issue woke him up. The stress of his lifestyle had caught up with him.
“You know how I broke through? My wife, Maria, and her kindness. Maria’s approach to life and parenthood was that if it is not prohibited in the Bible, it is debatable! It helped me relax and look at life with freer lenses. I did not need to play the perfect husband, the perfect father, and especially, the perfect Christian.”
“Benjamin, I’m not saying I’m there by any means. I’m just on my way to a more enjoyable life.”
Finally, Carl looked at Benjamin and spoke of the dream. “You see, the dream expressed the fear these rules birthed in my heart and the punishment that ensued when I could not measure up. The nightmare is simple really, but it took me more than twenty years to finally understand it. It occurs to me that this dream could be more than just a sign for me. It could be that you had a similar upbringing and need some healing from the ‘performance syndrome,’ as I like to call it.”
Benjamin had to agree with Carl. His mother had been a powerful figure in his life. She would have controlled his very breath if she could. He remembered sitting still on the porch for hours, afraid to move. He had screamed at her once, the one time he had the guts to stand up to mighty mom. He had been twenty-two.
They spoke for a long time about what it meant to be a man outside of the bravados and the culture of the day.
“You know, Pastor, I feel like I failed my first wife totally, like I was not man enough for her, and as much as I love Jane, I honestly have no idea how to be her man. What do women want from us after all?”
Carl laughed a bit.
“Every woman is unique and has different needs and hurts, Benjamin. There is no universal answer to that question. I just lately realized that a few misconceptions of mine nearly cost me my marriage.”
They spoke of the fears that plagued them and the failures that gnawed at their hearts. They spoke of their marriages and what it meant to be husbands and friends to their wives.
Benjamin left with a newfound respect for the pastor, hoping they would meet again.
Chapter 44
Pastoring the Supernatural
Unlike Maria, Bob was not in a hurry. He mustered his enthusiasm for fear of it derailing him. He had made a habit over the years to take his time and make sure all the guideposts lined up. He learned these lessons with many tears and much regrets.
He was still particularly interested in Benjamin, and he was keen to know the reason a person outside of the church was given such wisdom and a powerful message. He surmised that Jane’s prayers had probably opened many mighty doors, but still, he found it strange. The one conclusion he was getting to was that the man was being called forth. Bob was not in the habit of staying out of the loop of heavenly plans. He loved being a good instrument in the hand of his Lord.
He called Carl and first asked for the permission to get in touch with Benjamin and Jane, and then he asked for a phone number. Carl was happy to provide both.
“Benjamin, Bob here, the old man from the church meeting. I was wondering if you would be interested in going deeper in the things of faith and the kingdom.”
Benjamin stated that he had been so touched by the meeting with Carl and that he did not have any objections being around another pastor. Bob was proposing to teach him about prayer life and answer any questions Benjamin may have regarding the Bible and the faith.
“I’m not sure I would be any good at praying, Bob. I’m not sure about any of this, but the angel for some odd reason asked, so I suppose I had better obey. I guess that’s what a leap of faith means for me! When do you want us to meet?”
Chapter 45
Saving the House
That Sunday, the gathering at church was electric. The heaviness of the spiritual realm could be felt in the sanctuary.
Carl was on fire. He spoke of his love for God and the passionate, crazy, incomparable love God had for a sick and dying humanity. He spoke of the incomprehensible attachment that bound a perfect God to a broken people.
“He is stuck with you!” Carl was preaching from the overflow of his heart.
“He is stuck with you! Bound by a covenant, and he won’t break it. He won’t quit! He is bound by the love that he is and has. He desperately loves you! He will do whatever it takes to bring you closer to him because he adores you.”
He could see the hungry faces looking back at him.
“For those who fear abandonment, know this. God cannot leave you because he cannot go anywhere! He is everywhere! Where would he go?
“You can choose to live by yourself, ignoring him, ignoring his presence and his love. But he cannot leave. There is nowhere else for him to go. He is everywhere! You can live in denial, or you can acknowledge him walking right by you! He adores you!”
He stepped out of that podium, feeling like he was returning from another dimension. Some of the words that came out of him were new to him too. It was an exhilarating time!
He looked at Maria and invited her with a respectful gesture to join him for ministry. The elders were also moving around the crowd, loving on people.
Carl saw Jane rush forward as soon as the meeting ended. She addressed Carl and Maria, smiling. “I’m a firm believer in tithing. When I left my earlier church on account of my divorce, I started a bank account with the tithing I owed and told God the money was his. He had to tell me where to give it. This account has been accumulating for about five years now. I strongly felt in my heart that if you honored God’s Word through my husband and just listened to him and prayed, I’d give you this money.”
Jane gave the pastor a check.
Carl eyes fell on the five-digit number and watered. They will be keeping this sanctuary after all.
Chapter 46
Weighing a Prophesy
The team who was to weigh Benjamin’s prophecy sat together for the first time. They had taken a few days to pray and study independently. Now they gathered to pray together and try to decipher the will of God for their church.
They chatted at first, enjoying each other’s presence, but the atmosphere was a tad tense. Carl initiated the meeting in prayer, a welcomed motion. They eagerly prayed for guidance, eyes and ears open to correction and change.
When the hearts were poured out in prayer, a sense of peace and accord filled the room. Bob spoke out first, eager to put the most important points across out of fear of passing them over.
“First point, do we all believe that this message is from God? Is there anyone here who discerns an issue that needs to be addressed? Can we deem the messenger trustworthy? Is there any part of this message that we need to dismiss or take back to the Lord in prayer?”
There were a couple of smiles at Finn mentioning the “walking on water” dream, but Benjamin did not make a claim to a deity (smiles again) or odd titles, so the consensus was that the message sat well in the hearts and spirits of everyone in the room.
“Second point, do we believe this message is for this church or this community?”
This time, Maria spoke, “The nightmare he related convinced me and Carl, I hope, that this message is specifically for our family.” Again, all nodded in approval.
They could now look at the prophecy with some degree of trust.
Jamie started to speak. His head was hanging. “I have to admit
that the first part of the prophecy burnt in my heart. As an elder, I have been privy to a lot of concerns from well-meaning people regarding the leadership of the church. The problem is I have not been able to discern between genuine concern and gossip. I’ve been guilty in indulging in both, I’m afraid. I’ve spent a few days now repenting of the darkness in my heart. I’m afraid I had put you on a pedestal, Carl. I’m guilty of idolatry. I‘ll need to keep dealing with that too.
“This last skirmish with the new lady showed me how easy it was for me to miss God and run for vengeance instead of restoration in love. I want to ask your forgiveness again, Carl, and I would like to do something about that in the church as well. I believe I can help others with the revelation I’m walking through right now.”
“Hear! Hear!” accompanied his statement.
“Jamie, I’m so grateful for this,” Carl replied. “I’m guilty of keeping myself on this pedestal too. It is so hard to walk such a fine line. I will support you and serve the vision God deposited in you as you serve the vision God deposited in me. I have been realizing lately that my job is to become a kind of spiritual umbrella that covers and serves the visions of others around me.
I also need your forgiveness. I was so consumed by the walls of the church that I did not see the real living stones, and this is you guys. Let me know how I can support you, and I will.”
Finn spoke next. “I was actually consumed by the second part of that sentence—the fear in the women and children. I have to admit failure in that department too. Over the years I have noticed men taking slight advantage of women in the church—inappropriate hugging, unacceptable familiarity with sometimes underage girls and ladies. I have been at loss as to what to do.