The Weight of Forever: (Grand Harbor: Book Two)

by Randileigh Kennedy

  “Karen’s kid?”

  “Uh, m-maybe,” I stuttered, embarrassed that I didn’t even know his parents’ names. “Miles Morrison.”

  “Do you mean Miles Jacobs?”

  “No, Miles Morrison,” I repeated, looking back behind me at her mailbox that was clearly marked Morrison. Why was she making me feel like a crazy person? “He’s twenty-five. Brown hair, green eyes. He grew up around here…”

  “Well Miles Jacobs hasn’t been here for, gosh, five or six years? Maybe more? I haven’t seen him for ages. Are you a reporter or something?”

  “No, my name is Olivia. I’m actually his girlfriend.” Now I felt like a crazy person. This conversation was confusing both of us. “I thought he was coming back home to see his parents, but I must’ve misunderstood him somehow. Or maybe he just hasn’t arrived yet? Or maybe he’s at his parents’ place now and I’m just at the wrong house?”

  “I had coffee with Karen this morning. Word would’ve spread like wildfire if that boy was back in town already, trust me.”

  I stared blankly back at her, wondering what else to say. I wasn’t even sure we were talking about the same person. Miles told me on the phone that he saw his parents. I couldn’t make sense of it.

  “Sorry, our signals must’ve crossed. I guess he’s just not in town yet. But you’re telling me he doesn’t live here?”

  “My last name is Morrison, you have that right, but that’s my married name. My sister Karen, her last name is Jacobs. Miles is her boy.”

  “Can I trouble you for her address? I don’t think I have it on my list. I have a Charles Morrison, Peter and Patricia Morrison, and you’re Helen, right?”

  She nodded back at me. “You said you’re his girlfriend?”

  “Well, new girlfriend. I guess we don’t know each other all that well at this point.” I thought we did. Now I just felt like a fool. I didn’t know his last name, or his parents’ names… This was going horribly wrong.

  “Karen lives six blocks east, one block north. I’ll write down the address. If you know Miles, no doubt she’ll want to hear from you.” She left and came back with a small piece of paper. “How is he?”

  “What?”

  “Miles. Is he okay? He had a rough few years before he left.”

  “He’s good,” I lied, still uncertain we were talking about the same person. “Everything seems good. I imagine he’ll be by to see everyone once he’s in town.” Another lie. I had no idea where he was, who this woman was, or what his intentions were if he did in fact ever show up. I was completely making things up at this point.

  “I hope he does stop by. I was a little disappointed he never came to Craig’s funeral. They had some weird close bond, especially after everything that had happened. But he kind of just...disappeared.”

  Seemingly what he’s done now.

  “Thank you for the information. I really appreciate it.” I smiled and walked away, turning east down the sidewalk. I was definitely missing some piece of the puzzle here. Maybe Miles had a strained relationship with his other family members, and Helen really truly didn’t know he was in town? There had to be some explanation. Maybe he was with his mom now, and I was just simply at the wrong residence. I put the address from the paper into my phone. Within a few minutes, I was standing in front of an aged white house with yellowed siding and too many weeds to count. The front gate latch looked broken as I walked up the front path to the door. I knocked gently.

  “What are you selling?” An older woman, probably closer to her mid-fifties, stared back at me curiously as she cracked the door.

  “Oh, uh, nothing. My name is Olivia. I’m just looking for Miles.”

  She opened the door wider, and the expression on her face changed.

  “Miles,” she whispered back slowly.

  “Is he here?”

  “No. He hasn’t been here for a long time.” I could hear the sadness in her voice.

  I must have the wrong contacts. Maybe there was another Miles in town? “I’m so sorry, maybe I have the wrong house. I was just down at Helen’s, and she had the same reaction. I must be mistaken.”

  “Do you know my boy?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  She motioned me inside her house, and I hesitated at first, but the grief-stricken look on her face compelled me to follow her in. The room smelled like animals, and the couches were covered in clumps of pet hair. She led me over to the fireplace mantle. “I don’t have any recent pictures. These ones here are from high school. Look how joyful he looked here. He and Maycie were fifteen in this one.” Maycie? She handed me a photograph in a small 4x6 wooden frame. It was definitely Miles in the picture. Despite his longer hair in the photo, along with a really ugly knit sweater, his face looked exactly the same.

  “That’s him,” I said softly. “Who’s Maycie?”

  “His twin sister,” she replied, taking the photograph from my hands to set it back on the mantle.

  Chapter 12

  He had a sister? I specifically remember him telling me he didn’t have any siblings. Obviously the name was tattooed on his back, but he led me to believe it was someone like a grandma. My head was spinning.

  “Has he been here, recently? Mrs… Morrison? Jacobs? I’m sorry, I don’t think I know your last name.”

  “Jacobs. My sister’s family, they’re the Morrison’s. Well, I guess Craig has passed, so it’s just her. There’s no Miles Morrison. It’s Miles Jacobs, and he hasn’t been home for eight years.”

  I felt too stunned to speak. Was Miles’s father his uncle? Had he not been home yet like he told me on the phone, or was I just completely misunderstanding all of this? Where was his sister? I didn’t understand one single thing, but I felt too embarrassed to ask any questions.

  “You know Miles?” A slight smile spread across her face despite her troubled eyes, and I knew this conversation wasn’t over yet.

  “Not well.” That was glaringly true. “I just thought he might be in town and wanted to pay him a visit, but I must’ve misunderstood.”

  “I can’t imagine him ever coming back here. This place holds nothing but heartache for him – for all of us, really. I understand that, which is why I had to let him go.” Tears welled up in her eyes and I didn’t know what to say or how to comfort her. My eyes felt watery as well, and my throat felt tight. I couldn’t process any of this.

  “I should be going,” I said awkwardly, not wanting to make this any more uncomfortable for her. “I’m really sorry I’ve interrupted your day. I shouldn’t have come here.”

  “Can I ask you something before you go?” She stared back at me with such a warm expression. I nodded. “Has he found adventure yet?”

  “What?” That was so far away from anything I expected her to ask. She hadn’t seen him for eight years, and she wanted to know if he’d found adventure? I wasn’t totally sure what she even meant by that.

  “That’s what he left here to find,” she continued. “Some big adventure. Something more exciting than real life. Or should I say, something more exciting than the life he experienced here, which was cruel and unkind to him.”

  “I don’t know much about his past, Mrs. Jacobs. I don’t know if he found what he’s looking for, but he seems…happy.”

  “That’s all my heart wants for him.” A slow tear fell down her face. “There was no happiness when he left. Not an ounce of it. He was this broken, seventeen year old boy, carrying the weight of the world on his heart. No one can carry a heaviness like that around forever. There was no freedom from it here. He seemed so certain that he could escape his own life. I hope he’s done that.”

  “I believe he has.” I said it partly to comfort her, but I was also fairly sure Miles had escaped his past, given it seemed nothing weighed him down anymore. There wasn’t an ounce of sadness in the Miles I knew. He was a free, adventurous spirit, and I appreciated him for that. I knew nothing of which she spoke.

  “One more thing?”

  “Of course.”<
br />
  “Will you tell him as soon as he finds whatever it is he’s looking for, have him call home?”

  “I hope I’ll have the opportunity to pass that along.” Before I could move toward the door, she wrapped me in a big hug. I could feel the wetness of her cheeks as her tears dripped down onto my arms.

  She released me, and I couldn’t read her expression now. She looked happy and broken all at once.

  “I’m glad his adventures led him to you. I’m really thankful you came here, Olivia. All I wanted to know is that he’s okay.”

  “I wish it was less of a misunderstanding, but yes, it was a pleasure to meet you. I’ll tell him to call…if we cross paths again.” I hated how uncertain I felt about it. Thirty minutes ago, I had no doubt I would see Miles again, and that things would go back to how they were before he left. But now, exiting his mother’s house, confused about his last name and dumbstruck to learn he had a twin sister – I wasn’t confident about anything anymore.

  I couldn’t get a flight out until the following day, so I found a cheap motel closer to the bus station so I could leave first thing in the morning. Actually, I think it was the only motel. Part of me wanted to explore this tiny town, but the other part of me didn’t want to learn anything more about Miles’s past. It would probably leave me feeling less connected from him, if that was even possible at this point.

  After eating an overcooked hamburger at the local diner, I went back to my hotel room, looking forward to a long bath. I wanted to finish the book I started on the plane, hoping to distract myself from everything going on around me. I so badly wanted to get back home to be with my friends and my family. The pit of loneliness I felt at the moment was eating me alive. I wanted to sit on my favorite rock, overlooking the lake, sobbing into the wind – but because of Miles, I couldn’t even do that right now. It made me hate Grange Hills even more.

  As I towel-dried my hair around nine o’clock, my phone rang. Once again I didn’t recognize the number. I answered it immediately.

  “Hello?”

  “Sorry to call so late, V.”

  “It’s barely past nine,” I replied, glancing over at the dated alarm clock on the bedside table.

  “What do you mean? It’s after eleven.” He sounded confused. I realized the time difference. That SOB was on eastern time, probably somewhere closer to home, while I was stuck here in Utah.

  “Where are you, Miles?”

  “Sorting things out.”

  “I don’t mean ‘where are you at with your life,’ I mean where are you?” I didn’t mean to change my tone so quickly, but I was beyond frustrated at this point.

  “V, I…I just…”

  “I’m in Grange Hills, Miles.”

  He didn’t respond.

  “You told me you were here. You said you saw your parents.”

  “I did, V.”

  Tears welled up in my eyes. I hated how easily he was able to lie to me. It was breaking me, and I felt so foolish. I missed home. “I’m in Grange Hills,” I repeated. He stayed quiet. “I saw your mom today.”

  “V.” He didn’t say anything further, and his lack of an explanation burned through me.

  “Why did you lie to me, Miles? Why are you doing this? Maybe I’m just some dumb, naïve girl, flying all the way across the country to see you, but I wasn’t prepared for this. Why did you do this to me?”

  “V, please,” he said quietly, seemingly unsure about what else to say. “Are you really in Grange Hills?”

  “Yes, and I was with your mother earlier, so you don’t need to keep your lies going. She said she hasn’t seen you for eight years. She cried and she was heartbroken, and now I am too.” I quietly wiped the tears away from my eyes, feeling stupid for not being able to control my emotions better.

  “I never lied to you, V. I saw my parents yesterday.”

  “So what, it wasn’t your mom? I went to the wrong house? Stop treating me like a damn fool. She had your pictures on her mantle. Even one of you with your sister, Maycie.”

  He was quiet on the other end.

  “Goodbye, Miles.”

  I hung up the phone and the tears poured out of my face.

  Chapter 13

  My phone rang at least fourteen more times that night until I finally shut it off. Miles was repeatedly calling me, no doubt with another story or lie to talk his way out of this mess, but it wasn’t going to happen.

  He wasn’t the first guy to let me down, nor would he be the last, but it was heartbreaking nonetheless. He was so good at making me fall for him. What did he tell me? He was all in? I knew he seemed too good to be true. I shot texts off to Sophia and Lexi, letting them know the plan backfired considerably, and that I would explain everything to them tomorrow as soon as I made it back in town. The airport was an hour from Grand Harbor, so I was thankful that Sophia offered to pick me up when my plane arrived. I gave her the flight information and drifted off to sleep, my eyes bloodshot and puffy from the tears.

  My alarm rang at seven, and as expected, Miles had left four more voicemails overnight, saying he wanted to tell me everything, and asking where he could find me. I still didn’t call him back.

  The three hour bus ride was agonizing all over again, as was the flight home. Fortunately I only had a carryon, so I didn’t have to wait for baggage when I arrived. I walked out of the sliding doors toward the pickup line, expecting to see Sophia’s car. Instead, there was a recognizable shiny black one right in front along the curb. The driver’s side door immediately flew open.

  “Miles, why are you here?”

  “Sophia gave me your flight info. Don’t be mad at her, I told her I needed to make this right.”

  I glanced around, making sure Sophia’s car really wasn’t in line on the chance this was just another joke on me. I didn’t want to leave with him, but apparently he was in fact my only ride.

  “Sir, you need to get back in your car. You can’t leave it there unattended,” a stocky old airport security guard warned in a serious tone.

  “It’s…it’s not unattended, I’m right here,” Miles explained, gesturing around with his arms.

  “Sir, airport rules. Get back in the car…”

  “Dammit,” he sighed. “V, please. Come with me. I’ll explain everything.”

  “Miles, don’t do this.”

  “Don’t do what?”

  “Don’t try to fix something that’s beyond repair. No matter what explanation you have, for any of this, it won’t change the fact that you lied to me about so many things.”

  “I’m going to ask you one last time to return to your car, sir…” The security guard did not look like he was messing around.

  “Dammit! Okay, Olivia, please, get in the car.”

  “I’ll get an Uber home.”

  “Sir, you need to…”

  “Just take the damn car,” Miles sneered, throwing his keys toward the guard. They fell to the concrete next to the guard’s feet. “You can have it. I don’t care about the car right now. All I care about is her.”

  I’d already pulled out my phone to request a ride when I heard the man get on his radio. “I need backup, I have a…”

  “I’ll get in the car,” I said quickly, pleading with the guard to drop his request for backup. “I’m getting in.”

  Miles picked up his keys from the ground, and I heard him apologize to the man for the trouble. Obviously trouble was the last thing Miles needed, amongst all his other issues. Or were all of those issues made up? I wondered what I knew anymore.

  We climbed into his car and he wasted no time in pulling out of the pick-up area.

  “V, I have so much to say…”

  “Just call me Olivia. You don’t have to explain anything, just take me home. And please, stop calling me V.”

  “That really bothers you?”

  “It does now!” I didn’t mean to snap at him, but he seemed unclear on just how much he had disappointed me over the last twenty-four hours. “Miles, look, I really car
ed about you. I let my guard down way too far, and that’s on me. Fine. But there’s no way were getting back to where we were after everything that’s happened. I loved the nickname…when I loved you.”

  He pulled the car off the side of the road, shutting off the engine. He gripped the steering wheel, and I could see the muscles flex in his forearms. “That’s not how love works, Olivia.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “You don’t feel that way for someone and then just shut it off the second you find out one unnerving thing that leaves you feeling unsettled. It’s not a light switch.”

  “Unnerving? Miles, practically everything you told me when I met you was a lie. Don’t make me feel like the crazy one for feeling “unsettled” about falling for a guy who’s name I don’t even know.”

  “What?”

  “Miles Jacobs?”

  “I used to be.” He ran a hand through his dark hair, looking defeated.

  “That’s the problem, Miles. I don’t know you. And even if all of your lies feel justified to you, in your own head, you straight up lied to me about a back-story that wouldn’t have changed what I felt about you. That’s the kicker. Every misleading thing you told me – none of those things made me love you more. Which means now? Those are all just things I hate. They’re meaningless words, Miles – which means the rest of your truths are meaningless too, now that I can no longer tell the difference.”

  “I never lied to you. Not once. Everything I said is true.”

  I stared back at him, torn between anger and confusion. I couldn’t make sense of it all. I hated that we were breaking down like this. “Do you have a sister?”

  “Not anymore.” He paused, and I could see the emotion in his eyes as he turned to face me. “I did. We were twins. But she passed when we were sixteen. Complications from epilepsy.”

  “You told me you didn’t have any siblings, Miles.”

  “And I don’t.”

  “That’s not the same thing. Why didn’t you just tell me you had a sister who passed?”

  “Because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life reliving the single worst thing that ever happened to me!” He was the one raising his voice now. “Do you know what that’s like? Losing the one single person in the world you were closest to? She was literally the other half of me. The better half too, which makes it worse. She was the one who never stopped smiling when I was a moody wreck. The one who never took life too seriously, who saw the best in every situation, even through the worst of hers. When she passed, it broke everything inside of me. Everything. I lost her in the cruelest of ways, Olivia. She was sixteen. That’s not even half a life. It’s impossible to be the same person you were after that.”