The Weight of Forever: (Grand Harbor: Book Two)

by Randileigh Kennedy

  “I can’t possibly be happy about any of this,” I said with dramatic arms, taking a step back. “My family is what brings me joy, Dad. You’ve taught me to believe that.”

  “So find joy in the fact that you’ve pushed me into being a better version of myself. I couldn’t live another day knowing you’re hurting over something I can fix, Olivia. That’s what dad’s do. That’s literally why God put them on this earth. They fix things for their children, no matter the cost. That’s all I’m doing.”

  The front door opened and a uniformed officer popped his head inside.

  “Mr. Prescott? Your ten minutes are up. I’m asking that you kindly…”

  “Yeah, Frank, one minute,” my dad cut him off. “I’ve known this guy since back in the day when we were in school together and he’s acting all formal…”

  “That’s because this is a big deal, Dad.”

  “Nah, this is just a thing. A thing, Olivia. That means it carries no weight. Focus on the big stuff.”

  “What’s bigger than this?”

  He handed me a small white envelope. “The world is still spinning, Olivia. Follow it. You don’t need me to find your next great adventure. I’m old and I have high cholesterol, so I’m of no use to you now. Unless it’s a Mark Twain opera of course – in which case you’d better save me a seat.”

  “Never again, Dad,” I said lightheartedly, despite the heaviness of this situation. He always had that affect on me when things were serious, and I loved him for that.

  “I’ll go pay for my sins while you go find freedom.”

  My dad wrapped me up in a giant hug, kissing the top of my head.

  “I love you, Dad.”

  “These circumstances are temporary, even at their worst. Remember that. Now go be twenty-three. I’ll see you soon.”

  I held the white envelope to my chest, hoping that would be true.

  Chapter 19

  Lance and Sophia swayed together for their last song of the evening. My mom excused herself for the night, insisting there was nothing else I could do for her. She seemed eerily calm given my dad was escorted away by police, but I suspected she knew more about it than I did. Seth was drunk, so I expected I couldn’t have a rational conversation with him until tomorrow.

  “I’m emotionally drained,” Lexi commented as we slumped down into two of the chairs resting on the patio after Lance and Sophia were whisked away in a limo. They would be in Rome for their honeymoon by the following day. “I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

  “You have no idea,” I muttered, wishing I could close my eyes and not reopen them until the world made sense.

  “Are you staying here tonight or heading back to your apartment?”

  “I’m not sure,” I replied vaguely, moving the small white envelope around in my hands. I still hadn’t opened it yet.

  “What’s that?”

  “Hopefully a treasure map,” I answered, feeling somewhat delirious from the events of the night and my lack of sleep. “Maybe it will lead me to good fortune. Or, more likely, it’s a note from Miles.”

  “What?” She sat straight up. “Why haven’t you opened it yet? What do you think it says?”

  “Maybe it’s a card with his new address on it so I know where to mail his Christmas presents,” I said only half sarcastically. “Honestly, I’m scared to open it. What if it’s a letter from him saying goodbye for good? Although I thought we already did that. Which means maybe it’s a letter that makes me fall in love with him all over again.”

  “Would that be such a terrible thing?”

  “Yes. A guy is supposed to only break your heart once. If I love him again, that gives him the chance to hurt me twice.” I felt way too fragile in this moment to be dealing with any of this rationally.

  “Olivia, you have to know.”

  I stared down at the envelope in my hands. If I didn’t open it, I could move on with my life like Miles Morrison never happened. Maybe. Once I saw it, however, I wasn’t sure I could be so strong. Even if it was some sincere goodbye letter, it would sting all over again just to remind me of everything we had and lost.

  I slid my finger through the seal, pulling out a handwritten note card.

  V,

  I grew up being afraid of everything. It started out normal – being afraid of the dark and of the monsters no doubt hiding in my closet. As I got older, it intensified. I was scared of being alone after Maycie passed – scared of being a drunk like my father, or worse – being a lifeless, joyless person like my mother. I was scared to leave Grange Hills, but more terrified by the thought of never experiencing anything beyond that place. And more than anything, I feared that I would never find my purpose – and the thought of that honestly still terrifies me.

  Then I met you. Initially I thought you were a little crazy. You were daring. Adventurous. Fearless – something I’ve wanted to be my entire life. You brought out the best in me – that childlike feeling of being curious of my surroundings – that sense of wonder, as each passing day was better than the one before it – that search for freedom from a life that would otherwise be completely boring.

  I have very little to offer you. I know that at the end of the day, I’m just a guy in a rented suit with an unimpressive back story. But the good parts – you’ve made me realize those are still to come, V. The best part of me is still a work in progress, but it’s yours. It’s a hand to hold while we’re swimming in hotel pools or standing in the rain. It’s a shriek to rival yours as we jump into the freezing cold lake at midnight. It’s a strong embrace to hold you in the early morning hours while you’d rather be dreaming. It’s a promise to give you the best version of myself, even if some days it’s just a smile and a shrug because I don’t have all the answers.

  Tell me you agree that things have finally, really, unequivocally gone sideways. Do you remember our promise? We swore we would meet back at the Carlisle to save this, come what may. After all, forever if just a succession of days in which two people choose one another, right? You said that once. So here I am, keeping my promise to you, V. Keep yours, meet me at the Carlisle, and we can have it all.

  ~ Miles

  I stared at the letter. It was a lot wordier than I expected, but I loved his intent. Was it really that simple though? Could things truly go back to what they were before? Was that even possible?

  “I’m taking Grandma Eve back to her assisted living center,” Logan said politely, passing through where Lexi and I were seated by the pool.

  “Oh, yes. Thank you,” I stammered, standing up from the chair. “Did you have a nice time tonight Grandma Eve?”

  “You know I love dancing,” she said warmly. “Harold and I are going dancing again tomorrow.”

  “Right,” I said shaking my head. “Well, I’m glad you had a good night. I’ll stop by for lunch this week while Sophia and Lance are on their honeymoon.”

  “You’re not going to be on your honeymoon too?”

  “No, Grandma Eve. That’s not happening any time soon, trust me. I’ll be there for lunch. I promise.”

  “Well, love ain’t sunshine. Have I told you that?”

  Only twice a week for the last seventeen years or so. “You’ve mentioned it,” I said politely. “Which means sometimes it’s a hurricane. I know that version well.”

  “Yes, dear, but imagine the peace and calm that comes after a hurricane,” she said with a wink.

  “Goodnight, Grandma Eve,” I replied, giving her a hug. “Thanks for taking her home, Logan.”

  “Volleyball tomorrow afternoon? Lexi mentioned it earlier. I know we’re down a few players now, but a couple people I know from work wanted to join in.”

  “Yeah, maybe. I’m not sure how tomorrow is looking at this point. Maybe we can talk about it after a good night’s sleep.” I offered him a weak smile.

  “Do you want to, maybe, um, come with us?” Logan looked back at me, trying to appear nonchalant, but it wasn’t working. “I don’t know, maybe we can just chi
ll and watch a movie or something?”

  Didn’t take long for Lance or Sophia to tell him I was single again. “I’m actually headed somewhere. But thank you. Lexi, do you need a ride?”

  “Actually yeah, I probably shouldn’t drive. That champagne was going down a little too easy. Can you drop me off on the way, Logan?” He nodded politely. “Livi, where are you going?”

  “The Carlisle.”

  “Why would you go there?” She looked confused.

  “It’s a good place to take shelter from a hurricane, apparently,” I muttered.

  “You realize hurricanes only happen from the ocean, right?” Logan interjected. “Lake Michigan can’t…”

  “Yeah,” I cut him off. “I know how hurricanes work. Never mind.”

  We all said goodbye and I headed to my own car, thankful I didn’t have much to drink tonight. There was too much on my mind.

  Within fifteen minutes, I was knocking on the door of the penthouse suite at the Carlisle Hotel. I heard footsteps. A moment later, the door opened.

  “V. You got my letter?”

  “Yeah. My dad gave it to me before heading to jail.”

  “I tried talking him out of it. I swear I did, V. If I would’ve just stayed away from you, this never would’ve happened. He never would’ve been exposed if I’d just left like I was supposed to.”

  “I really can’t say I understand all of this. How did we get here?”

  “I know, it’s messy. I have so much to tell you, and I swear, I’ll tell you everything, now that I know it’s safe.”

  “My dad explained a lot of it to me. He told me what you did. He said Ford was upset with a poker haul you took, so he blackmailed you for repayment. Apparently he had some dirt on my dad, and he threatened to expose him if you didn’t return his money and leave town for good?”

  “Yes.”

  “So you did? You’ve been giving back his money that you won fair and square, and you were willing to leave town and give all of this up just for me? So my dad wouldn’t go to jail?”

  “Of course, and I would do it again. Just for you? Why do you say it like that, V? You are the best reason I have for everything I’ve done. If I didn’t go through with it, it would’ve been so much worse. You would’ve seen your father on the news, heading to jail for crimes you didn’t understand. I can’t even imagine what that would’ve done to you and your family. You would’ve been devastated, I know that. Your whole family would’ve been affected. I couldn’t let that happen, given I had the power to diffuse all of that.”

  “I get that to some degree, Miles, but I was still devastated by all of this. Your silence crushed me, and I literally bawled my eyes out, thinking I would never see you again. Didn’t you realize that would hurt just as much?”

  “I didn’t look at it like that,” he said quietly. “Sometimes I think it’s easier to be let down by people you have less faith in. I thought that was the better choice. I thought it would hurt you less. That’s all I was trying to do.”

  “My heart still hurts in a thousand places. This is all just…overwhelming. Do you know what’s going to happen with my dad?”

  “Honestly, no. He shouldn’t have turned himself in. I could’ve paid Ford back and disappeared, and…”

  “And left me.”

  “Exactly,” he said softly. “There was no easy answer. All I wanted to do was pick the option that was going to hurt you the least. That’s all I could think to do. I wasn’t sure you’d be all that affected by me leaving.”

  “How could I be unaffected by that?” I stared back at him, expecting it to be a rhetorical question, but the look in his eyes led me to believe that he really thought that was a possibility. “Miles, everything about you has affected me. You think guys like you happen all the time? Like I spend all my days in a comfortable, blissful state, not caring about all of the boring, mundane stuff around me simply because I know I get to see you at the end of the day?”

  “Olivia, I’m a realist. I know I’m not some version of Prince Charming that a girl like you deserves. I don’t know what it’s like to have a family like yours. I come from nothing, and clearly I have no promise as to what my future looks like. What if I really do end up a drifter living on some boat? I told you that was my dream when we met. Maybe it was just some vague idea I had in my head, but it isn’t far off. I’m not cut out for a conventional life. I don’t really have a plan. I’m flawed and imperfect and perpetually messing things up, and I have no disillusions that will ever change. But I’m trying. That’s all I can do.”

  “No part of that scares me, Miles. Transparency, remember? I’m a train wreck with a tan. I’m irresponsible and afraid to make big, meaningful decisions. I have no career, and I don’t even care. That’s the disheartening part for people – that it doesn’t even bother me. I don’t need to be successful to have a meaningful life. My joy comes from the simplest things, Miles. Watching the waves. Counting the colors in the sunset. Sleeping out underneath the stars. A good game of volleyball with my best friends where I laugh for two hours straight. The love of the people around me has made more of a difference in my life than all the things I’ve had.”

  “I’ve never known a life like that, V, on either side. I didn’t grow up having nice things, or having good, loving people in my life. Well, Maycie I guess, but that was it, and it was too short-lived. I get it though – seeing you light up around your friends, and knowing how close you are to your family – I want all of that, V. But it’s not something I know. What if I’m not any good at it?”

  “Miles, why do you think I’m here?” I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering if he knew how truly grateful my dad was for what he did. “You’re selfless. You already have this down better than most people. You did something big for someone else, assuming we would never know. Taking no credit for it. That’s a big deal.”

  “You’ve changed me. That’s all I know. There are so many things I’ve screwed up. But this – you – I so badly want this to be the one thing I don’t screw up. Do you think that’s possible?” He stared back at me with such innocent eyes.

  “You said there was no freedom in forever. Remember that?”

  “Yeah, well at the time I didn’t understand the definition of forever – until you. If forever simply means choosing you, day in and day out, well – then forever doesn’t nearly seem long enough. That’s what I choose. This. Us. You.”

  “That’s why I’m here, Miles. I want all of that.” He leaned down, kissed me, and then scooped me up into his arms, carrying me over to the balcony. He opened up the giant French doors, sitting us down in one of the patio chairs overlooking the dark water.

  “This spot, V – it will forever be ours.”

  Chapter 20

  Wrapped up in Miles’s arms the next morning felt perfectly right, and I realized just how much I missed being around him, even when he was too joyful and excitable in the morning.

  “Room service,” he said in his too-chipper-too-early voice.

  “Miles, it’s only eight-thirty. Are you trying to kill me? I thought you loved me?”

  “I do, which is why I had to wake you up. I want to spend the entire day with you.”

  “I promise it’s just as fun doing that with our eyes closed. What’s that saying? You close your eyes for all of life’s greatest moments? Kissing, making a wish, praying, I don’t remember… But sleeping should be on that list. I want to change that quote.”

  “The word is probably dreaming, and it is on the list. But when real life is better than dreaming, why wouldn’t you want to be awake for it? This is just the beginning of everything good, V.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Sounds like you need strawberry waffles. Then you’ll believe me.”

  We ate breakfast and around nine o’clock, my mother called with some good news.

  “I spoke to Neil Anderson this morning, he’s going to represent your father,” she explained. “They can get it down to a misdemeanor, which is huge
for something like this. The fines are substantially less, though he’ll have a probationary period. He gave me some interesting insight though this morning. John Ford was blackmailing Miles by threatening to expose your dad, right? All this time, John Ford knew your dad was misreporting some funds, but he wasn’t sure what he was doing with them. He thought perhaps he was investing them in one of Ford’s competitors, so that’s why he was so interested and bothered by whatever your father was doing. Interesting turn of events – Richard was funneling the money into one of Ford’s own startups. He didn’t realize it because the money was coming in under a business name he couldn’t trace to your father. So ironically, the only funds your dad misused – were being flushed directly into Ford’s own business. So ironically, John Ford really screwed himself by starting all of this nonsense in the first place, trying to go after your dad. They took Ford into the station this morning.”

  “Is Dad still in trouble?”

  She hesitated. “Yes. Still some possible jail time before he’s released on probation. The fines aren’t great. But trust me, it would’ve been so much worse if Ford had outed him before your dad was alerted to all of this. He was able to, well, remedy a lot of things before those also became an issue. I don’t want to say too much. Heck, I don’t even really know the whole story, but your dad is a smart guy. I’m sure this is the best possible outcome.”

  “I don’t really understand all of it.”

  “It’s messy, for sure. Your dad has invested in so many businesses around town, it’s bound to be messy. I don’t understand it all either, but I know he always tried his best to run things clean. He works with so many people who don’t operate that way though. I’m not saying that’s a good excuse for what’s happened. One of the risks, I guess. But thanks to Miles, this worked out a whole lot better than it could have otherwise.”