Shifting Impulse: A BBW Bear-Shifter Romance (Complete Edition - Books 1-3)

by Aurora Woodlove

  The place was so quiet you could hear your own breath, yet nothing else. No animals around, no insects, no leaves rustling. Frozen in time. He gestured to the water as he couched next to some shrubs. He silently took out the massive DSLR camera from the bag, detached the basic lens and grabbed the long super telephoto lens. He attached it to the body and put it down. It was fascinating for Janet to watch him work so mechanically. He really looked like a pro, like a surgeon who knew the order and could handle all the utensils necessary for a surgery. It looked so easy, but she knew it was just practice. He had done those moves so many times he could probably do it in his sleep. He took the tripod that was attached to his bag and extended the legs until he was satisfied. The next step was to screw the camera on the tripod. He signaled her to come closer and crouch like he had.

  Janet didn't know what they were looking at because all she could see was dark water and the puffy fog that loomed over the lake.

  "Give them a few seconds."

  She didn't know how much longer she could go without kissing him, but she had to pretend to be unaffected by his presence. A combination of excitement and fear washed over her. It was easy to fall into his trap when he was giving her so much attention. Despite how she felt, she did as instructed and in a few moments her patience was rewarded.

  A deafening combination of whines and roars filled the air. It sounded like animals fighting. Enormous ones by the way their paws and hoofs landed on the twigs. They were probably heading for the water. Just as Janet was thinking about it, a stout, bulky buck threw itself into the lake, splashing water all around him, followed by the most scary grizzly she had ever seen. They were both swimming now and only their heads were above water. That bear looked starved and Janet really felt sorry for the poor buck. It seemed like a fierce race for survival. Wait, was Sean getting these shots?

  As she forced herself to turn her head to look at Sean, she saw him in action. He kept rotating the camera, freezing it for a few seconds to click away, while working on the settings he needed.

  Focusing on the animals again, she couldn't see the bear anymore. Her heart almost burst out of her chest when the predator suddenly appeared in front of the buck, preventing it from advancing. Adrenaline pumped into her blood and she felt involved in the action. She felt in danger, even though she was next to a shifter who would do anything to protect her. The buck's only reaction was to lift its head higher and whine as if he was rolling on the floor with laughter. Utterly confused, she turned to ask Sean what they were doing.

  "They are just playing. It's a strange friendship, but they're having fun nevertheless." That was only half the truth. They were shifters and it was just a letting-off-some-steam type of activity. He'd had many of those, with Dean especially. "This isn't something you see every day, so it's great I have it on film. It's a money-making shot."

  "Are you sure? It looks like they're about to tear each other open out there. It's horrifying and this fog is just eerie. Do you think we'll see the sunrise?"

  "Why not? It can clear and turn into a sunny day in just under two minutes. I'm hungry. Let's have a picnic."

  "Here? This close to those jaws and antlers? No thanks. I know a clearing higher up, but I don't think I can move my legs. Not after what I've just seen. Are they still in the water?"

  Sean nodded. "They are. Do you want to stay here until they leave?" he wasn't paying any attention to the camera now. The wheels in his head kept turning, trying to cling to the last drops of control he had over his human body. He was tense from head to toe and craved to be close to her more than anything in the world. She was so fragile, frozen there in her anxiety and unable to snap out of it. His bear was struggling with the energetic leash that was around his neck, chocking him into submission. He could feel the electrical charge of the change like a blanket over his skin. Touch her. The words were clearly visible on the blackboard image the bear used to communicate with him. Janet called to his bear like no other woman had before.

  Without a mental command, his body moved on its own. His hand cradled her cheek and she moved closer to him, hugging him like her life depended on it. "Just stay,"

  Unable to think clearly because of how close she was to him, the vanilla scent her hair gave off had him spiraling even further into despair. She was his. She belonged with him. She was everything he'd ever wanted in a woman and he was denying his feelings and working hard on ignoring the attraction. Flashes of them having sex flooded his mind and he held her tighter in his arms. "You terrify me, woman."

  "Am I that scary?" she sounded serious.

  "You remind me of her. Too much. And I don't think I can take it again."

  She distanced herself from him. The wild look on her face spoke of trouble. "I remind you of who exactly?"

  The fog was getting even thicker and they could barely see a few feet around them. They were stuck here, behind this bush and Sean's world was changing, the tectonic plate that she was, pushing further under his stable ground. "It was a long time ago, but it's stayed with me and I can't seem to be able to move on, regardless of how far I run from my ghosts. I'm not worthy of any woman. I can't make you happy."

  "Who do I remind you of, Sean? Tell me."

  He couldn't believe he was about to do this, but he had no way of stopping the words from coming out of his mouth. It felt like the right time for this confession, even if it was only partially true. "About four years ago, the woman I loved and trusted with my life, Monica, left me. She was the light to my world and one day she just said I wasn't enough of a man for her because I refused to continue my father's construction business, which I guess is true. I mean, I did my best to keep it above water and pay all the debts, but it just wasn't who I was. She also hated that I was away for so long."

  It was her turn to cup his cheek. "You're enough, baby. You're more of a man than she could probably handle. I only wish I'd met you before. You're stubborn, hard-working, kind, protective and I think that makes you a man in my book. Why do you say I remind you of her?"

  "Because... because you feel important. You lure me in and you turn my world upside down, just like she did once. I don't want to go through that again. I want a family, but I don't have the most stable life so I can't just ask a woman to wait for me for weeks on end while I go off to remote places. Being a wildlife photographer is dangerous and it takes its toll on a relationship."

  "So you choose to run. Instead of fighting for your future, you just go off into the world, hoping to avoid pain and love at the same time. Is that kind of life really worthwhile, Sean?"

  "You don't understand. Pieces of me just died when she left. I can't revive them no matter how hard I try and you judging me for not being a responsible adult doesn't help. The present, this - he gestured between them- is all I can give you. We don't live close to each other and as much as you turn me into a horny teenager and all I want is to spend my time inside you, I can't do that to you. You don't deserve a dick like me. You deserve someone better."

  As she processed the information he'd just shared, he took a mental picture of her pretty face as she looked into his eyes. She couldn't understand him because he'd shared only half of the truth. The details, but not the bigger picture.

  "Where do you live?"

  "New Ridge, a town four hours south of here. It's a small mountain town."

  She looked determined now for some reason. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's just take it step by step and if it doesn't work out, we'll just go our separate ways."

  "You just want to get laid, don't you?" he chuckled in that deep voice of his. Sex with her wouldn't be a good idea. It would only link them more and his bear would take every chance to claim her.

  Her whole face turned red, but she shook her head. "I know you look all kinds of hot, but don't get too cocky. I don't think with my dick, unlike you, apparently," she regained her composure just as the red started fading.

  "You're bluffing, baby. I can read your body and I know when you are turned on
. Your eyes are dilated, your cheeks are flushed and you keep touching your body. As much as I want you, you're too delicate for me. I don't want to hurt you."

  Janet prepared to say something smart, but the irritated and totally embarrassing growl her stomach let out gave both of them a new perspective.

  Sean took responsibility. "Let's find a picnic spot and grab something to eat."

  "I can normally find something really easily. Actually, I know some a few minutes from here, but in this kind of weather I don't think I can find them. Maybe we should just stay here and risk being detected by those two wild animals."

  "Yeah, maybe we should just stay here. Let me set it up," Sean offered.

  They sat down and Janet rummaged into the gray cooler bag the food was in. "What kind of sandwich do you want? We have cheese and mayo, chicken with lettuce and cheese, beef jerky and tomatoes."

  "I'll go with the latter and some of those pickled beets. I love beets. My dad used to eat those with most meals and I can't seem to grow tired of them. I eat a few jars a week. My mum makes three times the normal amount just to make sure I have enough when I'm at home."

  Janet arched her eyebrows. "Do you still live with her?"

  His whole face changed. Janet didn't recognize the look.

  "Me? I moved out a few months after I turned twenty-two. As much as I love her and my cousins, getting my own place was something big for me. I moved in with Dean in one of his cousin's houses and paid rent. Those were some crazy years with all that work I did, but my mum always came by and brought some food from time to time. Stocking my pantry was and still is her passion. She takes autumn preparations very seriously. I think it's because it reminds her of my dad."

  "Oh, I see. You scared me there for a second. I thought you... it doesn't matter. I don't remember much about my father. He died soon after I was born and my mother had to take care of me and my two older brothers. It must have been tough for her, taking care of three kids on her own. In a way I understand why she was so severe with me. She didn't want me to end up like her, but it just didn't work. I guess I'm more like her than she likes to admit. I've never known what it was like to grow with a father, and my older brothers weren't exactly the best of people, always teasing me because I was a girl. I secretly wished my dad hadn't died of cancer so soon and had been around to protect me," she sighed. "But then I grew up and took care of things myself."

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The art gallery where the exhibition took place was actually a bar called "The Patient". It was a mixed exhibition that promoted the works of five photographers who worked in the "Rediscover Your Surroundings" project. Black and white portraits, fashion, wildlife and landscape photographs blended together to show unique perspectives of North Bloom Lake and its inhabitants. It was only eight thirty in the evening, so the place wasn't packed yet. Electro beats made the furniture vibrate, but it wasn't unpleasant. It kind of gave the place a different vibe.

  Sean looked around but he couldn't find Dean anywhere, so he went to the bar and got two beers for him and Janet. He just sat on the bar stool for a few moments to take in the view. She was the only person his eyes needed. Okay, fine, not only his eyes. She looked so alluring tonight he didn't know how and if he could handle staying away from her anymore. She had that glow women have when they feel good in their skin.

  What the fuck had he been thinking? Being in her company for almost twenty-four hours had been excruciatingly frustrating. Her hourglass-exquisitely-shaped body was complimented by the pear-shaped-summery-flowered-skirt and the white fit top that reminded Sean of pearls. Keeping his eyes to himself was out of the question. The platform leather sandals she was wearing made her legs longer. He had to admit she looked not only chic, but luscious as hell. The way her fine ass moved as she balanced her body on one leg or the other teased him out of his mind.

  Sean was too excited for his own good. He knew it and she knew it too. She'd dressed to impress tonight. And he was beyond impressed. He was rock hard. That was how impressed he was.

  After they returned from their trip around five, she'd dropped him off at the hotel and she had gone home. He was quite exhausted, but the buzz of the possibilities tonight didn't give him any peace to anchor himself into his body and check in with his bear. He'd barely been able to force back the change that threatened to happen in the modest hotel room, so his bear was steaming with anger. The day had been filled with so much tension and frustration that all he wanted now was to get her naked and show her the effect she really had on him. But she wouldn't understand. Not fully understand how big this was. For Sean anyway.

  He stood, grabbed the beers and headed in her direction. She was staring at one of the photos showing a wolf pack. He touched her exposed arm with the chilly beer bottle and she flinched.

  "Hey! It's cold, you brute!" she said as she snatched the bottle before he could do some other stupid thing.

  Sean was laughing now, his bright smile mesmerizing Janet. "Just checking you're still here. You looked lost in space, baby."

  A familiar smell got Sean's attention. Dean was here. Before getting a chance to look around, he heard his best friend speak. "Baby, huh? So you're the woman who put this big guy in his place," Dean chuckled with an evil glow in his eyes from Sean's left.

  Janet gasped. The sight of another mountain-man who was just as well-built as Sean, but not as tall as him was just annoying. Flashy caramel-brown almond-shaped eyes stared into hers and the widest smile lit up this guy’s face. Coal-black spiky short hair and a massive beard the same color made his appearance stick with you. How could anyone ever forget meeting this biker shifter?

  Sean put a protective arm around her back and pulled her closer to him. When his hand touched her arm, she visibly relaxed. A deep rumble rattled his chest and Janet felt the vibration in her own body. It was his animal.

  "I'm fine," she whispered more to the animal than to the man.

  "Don't scare her away, Dean, she's here to give you a chance to show off."

  "Oh, when you put it like that, I'm going to have to be nice," he grinned with the same evil glow.

  "I've heard so much about you, Dean. I'm Janet. It's great to finally meet you. I heard you're part of the new wave of people who are revealing a different side of our city. You have to show me your favorite works tonight."

  Sean gritted his teeth. The bear didn't like her talking to someone else. Even if that someone else was his best friend. The bear was so possessive of her that it drove the man crazy. The only thing keeping the bear from forcing a change on Sean was her touch. Dean guided them from picture to picture, giving them details and making funny comments about some of them.

  The picture that fascinated Janet was one of a lake. Of course. Lakes were her favorite thing in the world. She had heard about this lake. People called it The Miracle Lake. It was on the highest peak and it was quite a few hours of trekking up in the mountains. She'd never been there before, but she intended to. She had always postponed going because it required serious preparation. The trek took about a day. People referred to it as the Everest of North Bloom Lake. You had to train to be able to survive it. The special thing about this lake was the primeval algae that inhabited it. On nights with a full moon they glowed in the dark. Peculiar but captivating nevertheless. The picture she was mesmerized by showed such a night. For more effect, there were small fishing boats on the lake and the organisms appeared to be lighting the objects from underneath. What an effort it must have been to carry the boats to that lake and then take them down. Everybody knew there were no fish in that lake since it was too high up.

  Janet looked at the name of the artist. Dean Skye. "Did you take that photo?" she asked him like a child who had just found out Easter was the next day.

  Before he could answer, their ears were assaulted by a squeal, followed by a set of heels clacking on the concrete floor. "Buuuuubbly! Is that you, girl?"

  Janet's body jerked to her right and her whole face lit up when she saw Cas
sandra, her high-school close friend and hiking partner. Gently running her fingers on Sean's back and then patting him twice to tell him everything was okay, he lifted his arm that was around her neck and let her go.

  "Cass! I'm so glad to see you here. Haven't seen you in ages!" Janet squealed back as they hugged and kissed each other's cheeks.

  "I found out about this exhibition online and I just had to come. Plus, Sim and Pat have been bugging me to remember the date for two months now. You know how they are when it comes to events. Once they set their minds that something is too cool to miss out on, it's hard to get them off your back."

  Simone and Patricia were sisters. They were all around thirty and had been friends since they could remember and they usually went hiking together.

  Before Janet had a chance to pout about not being invited, Cassandra's eyes immediately fell on the two hunks a few feet behind Janet. "Are you on a date, girl? With these two guys?" Cass whispered and looked at Dean and Sean intently.

  "I wouldn't call it a date, but you should meet them," Janet said as she grabbed her friend's elbow and dragged her over to where the guys were.

  The two men were looking at them as if they hadn't seen such crazy behavior before, but didn't say anything. They just smiled politely. Well, at least Dean did anyway. The same thing couldn't be said about Sean who looked like someone had just stepped on his toe. He's so hot when he's angry. I wonder why he is acting like that.

  "Guys, this is my friend, Cass. Cass, this is Dean. He's one of the artists showing their works tonight."

  Dean nodded. "Hi, Cass."

  Janet continued. "And this is Sean, my ... - she cleared her throat - this is Dean's friend. He came all the way from New Ridge to support his friend."

  Sean didn't say anything, he just nodded and a ghost of a smile appeared in the corner of his mouth. Sensing how awkward the situation was, Janet offered to show her friend around, mentioning something about finding Sim and Pat.

  Sean snarled as Janet left and Dean punched him in the shoulder. "We need to talk," he growled back. Glad to have gotten Sean's attention, Dean led his friend outside in the still hot night air. They desperately needed to talk.