Going All In

by Cassandra Carr

  “That’s why you got so upset?”

  “I’m not normal, Marcus. I lost my leg above the knee when I was a kid. I ran out into the street and a car hit me. Now I have this thing, and it doesn’t fit right, and it hurts all the time, and it’s not exactly something that makes me feel sexy.” Marcus started to speak, but she held her hand up and he let her continue. “When things progressed last night all I could think about was you seeing my leg and being disgusted. It’s happened before, and I guess I just didn’t want to deal with it again.”

  “Did it ever occur to you that I might not care?”

  “No. A lot of guys shrink away when they see I’m crippled.”

  “You’re not crippled! You have a prosthetic leg. There’s a difference.”

  “That’s not what most people say,” she muttered, and he had to resist the urge to shake her and kiss her at the same time.

  “I’m not most people. Look, for years I’ve worked with the Canadian sledge hockey team. Those guys are missing arms, legs, whatever, and they still play hockey. I have a tremendous amount of respect for them. And now that I know about you I can only imagine how uncomfortable doing a job like waitressing must be.”

  “Don’t feel sorry for me, Marcus.” She raised her gaze and he saw so many emotions in her eyes—defiance, sorrow, and just a glimmer of hope.

  “I don’t feel sorry for you. I admire you.” Anything else he wanted to say was put on hold when the server arrived with their meals. He took a bite and groaned in pleasure. “This is awesome!”

  Annalise smiled just a little. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

  “Totally. Now, back to the topic. I don’t feel sorry for you, but can I ask why you do a job that hurts you?”

  “Because it pays the best of all the things I’m qualified for, which aren’t very many to begin with.”

  “I’m sure that’s not true.”

  “I don’t have any education. I graduated from high school, but I never went to college. Mass transit is expensive. Just living in New York is expensive. And since my brother can’t hold down a job to save his damn life, it falls to me to make the money to keep a roof over our heads and food on our plates.”

  Marcus liked her brother less and less with everything he found out about the guy. How dare he sit around all day and expect his sister to work? “And why can’t your brother keep a job?”

  “It’s not that he can’t. It’s that he doesn’t.” She wouldn’t meet his gaze, and Marcus was sorry he’d brought it up. Obviously it was a source of pain for her.

  “Okay. I won’t pry anymore.” He wasn’t sure where to go next. Every cell in his body was screaming at him to help her, but he had a feeling his assistance would seem more like interference, and Annalise wouldn’t take kindly to it. “You know, some of the sledge hockey players live in this area. Have you ever talked to someone else who wears a prosthesis to see how they handle their daily lives?”

  She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Actually, no.”

  “Let me put you in touch with a couple of them. I know the team doctor, too. Maybe he could lend some insight.”

  Or help you get a better prosthesis so you aren’t in pain all the time…

  “That would be nice,” she answered, and he watched as the cloudiness in her eyes cleared up. He wanted to be the man who made that happen for her every day.

  Now where did that thought come from?

  No doubt his protective instincts were making more out of the relationship than was actually there. He didn’t know Annalise very well. How could he be thinking about a future with her already?

  Chapter Six

  Annalise sat there in the middle of the busy bistro, unable to believe what was happening. She’d told Marcus about her prosthetic leg and he hadn’t run screaming. In fact, he’d reacted like it was no big deal. It felt too good to be true, and no doubt was. But still, she couldn’t help the little kernel of hope that was blossoming in her chest.

  Marcus paid the bill. She had a feeling he’d never allow her to pay for a thing, which, though it seemed sort of unfair, was a huge weight off of her, and she smiled as they walked outside.

  “Can I see your place? I want to know where you come from.”

  “Not this time.” If she ever had him over she’d at least give her ratty apartment a thorough cleaning. It might not make much of a difference, but it would help her feel better.

  Marcus turned and gathered her in his arms.

  God, he feels so good…

  “Will you come back to my place then?” He began to nuzzle her neck. “I want you. I want to show you how beautiful I think you are.” Tilting her chin up, he kissed her and she luxuriated in the feel of his soft, warm lips and then his wicked tongue as he licked at her to open for him. She felt his biceps bulge and bunch even through his sweater and jacket as she ran her hands over them. An image of her running her tongue over the hard muscles came unbidden into her head and she had to stifle a moan.

  “We can’t do this here,” she managed to choke out when he finally pulled away. Annalise felt the loss of his warmth acutely through her own thin coat and sighed internally for about the thousandth time that she didn’t have something warmer.

  “You’re right. Come to my house. I want to make you feel good, baby.”

  She stopped to consider for a minute. Marcus hadn’t seemed disgusted by her disability, and he seemed sincere now. She couldn’t miss the erection pressing into her while he’d been kissing her, either. A man couldn’t fake that, right? So maybe he really did want her. What was she waiting for? It wasn’t like there was a line of gorgeous, nice, rich men just waiting to sweep her off her feet. There was only this one, and he was looking more uncomfortable by the second as she waged this internal debate.

  “Okay, on one condition.”

  “Name it.”

  “Later we’re going to go out to the store and then I’m going to cook you dinner.”

  “More Puerto Rican food?”

  “If you want more, sure, but I’m a pretty good cook. I can’t afford to eat out, so I’ve learned how to make all sorts of things.”

  “That’s a deal. Now can we go?” Marcus grinned and she laughed. He was practically hopping from foot to foot.

  He bundled her into a cab, and when it pulled away from the curb and into traffic he leaned over and kissed her again. She knew she should stop him since anyone could see inside in the stop-and-go traffic, but when his hands tightened on her waist and he plunged his tongue into her mouth again, all coherent thought fled. All that was left was this moment, with this man.

  Marcus’ lips dropped from hers to nibble at her neck, and she let out an agitated gasp. Then his teeth caught the sensitive skin of her earlobe and tugged gently, and she realized there was a direct path between there and her sex as it warmed and seemed to swell. His hand slipped underneath her bulky sweater and she felt the pad of his thumb graze over the bottom of her breast. Her breathing sped up as he began to rub ever-so-gently across her nipple. She glanced up, but the cab driver was either very good at ignoring things in his cab or wasn’t interested in watching what was going on. Either way, she was grateful.

  It seemed like the cab ride took forever, despite Marcus’ attempts to distract her with his drugging kisses and teasing touches. Finally they reached his apartment and, after unlocking the door, he ushered her inside and then pushed her back to the wall as his head descended again. “I want you so fucking bad,” he groaned. “Can we go to the bedroom? I’ve got a nice, big, comfy bed in there.” He waggled his eyebrows and Annalise giggled. Marcus made her laugh more than she had in years.

  “Okay.”

  He led her down the hall and into a huge, luxuriously appointed bedroom. She slid onto the king-sized bed in his bedroom and he followed. “Will it hurt you if I lay on top of you? Would you be more comfortable some other way?”

  “You won’t hurt me.”

  “If I do I want you to tell me right away. This after
noon is about pleasure.” He took her chin in his big hand and turned her to face him. “Promise me, Annalise. If something hurts or if you feel uncomfortable, tell me and we’ll talk about it. I don’t want you running away from me again.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Good.” She lay down and he crawled over her, slowly easing his body down until he was between her thighs. “You feel just like a woman should—all warm and curvy. You drive me crazy.”

  She still couldn’t believe this was happening, that a man like Marcus would be able to overlook her physical deformity and financial situation and still want her. Annalise spared a moment to pray he didn’t change his mind.

  “Touch me,” she urged him.

  “I’m going to. I’m going to touch all of you, honey. I want to be with you. I want to make you come for me again and again.”

  Her sweater was off and thrown to the floor almost before she realized he was moving, and then the rough stubble on his face was tickling the swells of her breasts as Marcus nipped and sucked his way to the front closure of her bra. With one hand he opened it and then fastened his mouth to her hard, distended nipple. Her back arched and he went with her, continuing to suckle.

  Marcus moved to her other breast and she put her hands on his head, wishing he had some hair to grab onto and then moaning as he scraped his teeth lightly over her. “Feels so good…”

  “That’s it, baby. Tell me what you want.”

  “I want…”

  He looked up at her, his brown eyes nearly black with blatant lust. Her sex clenched and she hitched her good leg around one of his muscular thighs. “What, honey?”

  “I don’t know. Just more.”

  “I can do that.” He returned his attention to her breasts and her head felt like it was going to pop off her shoulders. In her limited experience with men, no one had been able to get to her so quickly and so thoroughly. After a few moments, he slid back. “I want to see you.”

  She blew out a harsh breath. It was now or never. Nodding, she closed her eyes so she wouldn’t see the rejection in his once he saw what her leg looked like. Marcus peeled her pants down and all the way off. Her eyes flew open when she felt his tongue on her leg right above where she attached the prosthesis. He trailed it all the way up to the juncture of her thighs and then hooked his thumbs into her panties. “Oh, God,” was all she could choke out.

  “That’s it, baby,” he cooed as he removed her panties. Resettling himself between her spread thighs, he opened her with the tips of his fingers and took a long lick. That was all it took and she came, as the emotion of the moment washed over her. “Aww, honey…” she heard in the distance as her sex clenched and her back bowed. He took another lick and a sound she hardly believed she could make flowed from her mouth.

  Marcus pulled back a little and inserted one finger into her. More sensation slammed through her body and her teeth clenched. Forcing herself to breathe, she implored him not to stop. She looked up and saw Marcus’ brow was furrowed. “What?”

  “Um…”

  She started to sit up, knowing it was too good to be true and hating herself for thinking she could finally be normal. “It’s okay if you don’t want to—”

  Marcus laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Oh, I want to. I just—”

  “Spit it out.” Tears threatened and she blinked them back. She’d be damned if she’d let him see her cry.

  “I can’t believe I’m even asking this, but I have to. Are you a virgin?”

  “Oh.” She chanced a glance at him. His jaw was set as he watched her with narrowed eyes.

  “Yeah, oh. You’re really tight and I don’t want to hurt you. If you’re a virgin you need to tell me now.”

  “I’m not a virgin.”

  “How long has it been?”

  “Almost four years.” She reached down to pick at an imaginary piece of lint on his bedspread; anything to avoid having to see his face when she admitted the awful truth.

  Marcus swore softly under his breath. “I’m going to hurt you. I’m not porn-star material, but I’m not small either, honey.”

  Annalise groaned.

  This isn’t happening…

  “Just go slow. I want this.” She lay back down and held out her hand to him. He picked it up, kissing the palm, and then moved both of their hands down to her clitoris. While they rubbed gently, he inserted the first finger again and then a second, scissoring them a little. He found her G-spot and began running the tips of his fingers over that and her thighs tightened around him.

  “Is that okay?”

  She was writhing on the bed. It was more than okay. It felt fantastic. “Yes, yes…”

  Reaching into the nightstand, Marcus extracted a bottle of lube and a condom. He quickly rolled the condom onto his erection and then applied lube. Annalise appreciated the time he was taking, but if he didn’t get inside her soon she couldn’t be responsible for what she said or did.

  Coming back to kneel in front of her, Marcus guided himself to the entrance of her channel. “I’ll go slow,” he bit out through clenched teeth. She watched as his eyes followed the movement of his cock into her. His breath was coming short and fast and she knew he must be holding onto his control with intense concentration.

  As he pushed a little farther in, Annalise felt a brief ripple of pain followed by an edgy, sharp pleasure. “Oh yes. God yes…”

  “So tight, you’re killing me, baby.” He looked up at her when he was still only a few inches in. “You all right? Still with me?”

  “I’m fine. I need you.” She wrapped her good leg around his waist and pulled him closer. When Marcus sank in he let out an agitated gasp. “Shhh…”

  “You just, man, you feel so fucking good. I can’t stand it.” He withdrew and slowly moved back in. His abs stood out in stark relief and, as her gaze wandered down toward the point where their bodies were joined, she noticed a tattoo of two oriental symbols, one on top of the other.

  She ran her fingertips over them. “What do these mean?”

  “Courage.”

  “Oh wow, that’s cool.”

  He relaxed a little, pulling out most of the way again. “You should get one.”

  “A tattoo?” Annalise snorted. “For one thing, I can’t afford it. For another, what would I do with a tattoo?”

  He stopped thrusting back inside and looked at her. “You don’t do anything with a tattoo. It’s just there. I know something I could do with it, though.” Splaying his hand over her the area right above her mound, he said, “If you put it where mine is I could lick it on my way down to the promised land.”

  She blushed. No one had ever spoken to her like that before. “Well, it’s irrelevant, because I can’t afford to do extravagant stuff like that.”

  He thrust in and out again a couple of times before he murmured, “I’ll pay for it. We could go together and I could get another one.”

  Her brows furrowed. “I can’t have you paying for stuff like that just because I don’t have the money.”

  Marcus stopped again and Annalise considered screaming. She was sorry she’d brought up the subject, but her natural curiosity had gotten the better of her. “Why not? Don’t worry about that. I’m one of the highest-paid players on the Empires right now. Let me do this for you,” he pleaded.

  She looked up at him where he was braced over her, his arms locked. “Only if you let me do something for you.” He grinned and she punched him, but he hardly even flinched. “That’s not what I was talking about.”

  “Damn…”

  He moved again, quicker this time, and Annalise decided an amendment of her statement was in order. “Well, maybe not all I’m talking about.”

  “Now you’re on to something.”

  Marcus dropped down onto his forearms and plunged both hands into her hair. Holding her head steady, he invaded her mouth with a marauding tongue and she gave herself over to him. He must’ve sensed her surrender, because he pushed even deeper inside her, stretching her
, and Annalise couldn’t stifle the moan that forced its way out of her lungs. His weight was now pressed dominantly over her, and he held her so close no space separated their sweat-slicked bodies. He began to drive into her a little harder and pleasure sizzled through her veins. She knew she was going to come again, if only she could get a little more stimulation on her already-sensitive clit.

  As if he could read her mind, he said, “Touch yourself for me. Show me what you like.” He lifted off of her enough so he could see.

  Annalise bit her lip. She had plenty of experience masturbating, since that disastrous encounter four years ago was the only other time she’d had sex, but doing it in front of someone? That was a whole different thing.

  “I-I don’t know if I can.”

  “Yes, you can,” Marcus answered, his tone brooking no argument. “I need to know what feels good to you if I’m going to satisfy you in bed.”

  She barked out a laugh. “I had an orgasm almost as soon as you put your mouth on me.”

  “Yeah, you did, didn’t you?” he teased, grinning. Then she shifted and the grin fell from his face. “You feel incredible. I can’t hold out much longer. Touch yourself, honey. Let me see it.” Tentatively her hand moved down her belly to the spot where she and Marcus were joined. She found her distended clit and began to rub in small circles. “Oh fuck yes,” Marcus got out before starting to move once more.

  He sank into her again and again as Annalise worked her clit over. Finally an overwhelming barrage of sensation slammed into her and she cried out. Marcus’ thrusts now jostled her entire body and after only a few more seconds he came on a long, low groan. Collapsing on top of her, Marcus took her mouth with another deep, soul-stealing kiss. His head settled next to hers on the pillow, his face turned toward hers. She breathed in his scent, one of sex and pure male, and her sex tightened in response. His breath caught.

  Rolling to the side and onto his back, he flung an arm over his face. “Wake me up in four or five days.”