Keeper of the Wolves

by Cheree Alsop

  He swallowed and stared hard at the wall as though attempting to see through it. “My father found out about our love, for she loved me dearly in return. He was furious that I allowed someone of such low birth to capture my attentions.” His eyes tightened. “So he sent her away to the butcher’s son in Faslow, the town below Miduan Capitol. When I found out, I nearly rode my father’s prize steed to death to reach her, but when I arrived they had already wed following strict instructions from the Duke.” He spit out the title as though it tasted foul. He grimaced. “The butcher’s son was a slovenly cur, and I knew he hurt her.”

  He glanced at me and there was murder in his eyes. “I caught him out on the road alone one night and beat him to within an inch of his life, then threatened him with more if he hurt her again.” His fists clenched. “She disappeared a fortnight later. The butcher’s son said she fell ill, but he couldn’t remember where her grave was, only that they had buried her on a hillside overlooking the valley.” Fire burned in his eyes when he concluded softly, “I suspect that my father had something to do with that as well.”

  I could only stare at him. The heartache in his voice was echoed in his eyes. The carefree, happy gentleman who flirted with the ladies and danced as if he didn’t have a worry in the world stood before me a broken man. The helpless anger that washed from him in peppery waves was tempered with the lavender and winter wind scent of loneliness. Here was someone who had everything and lost it in a single moment.

  He turned back to me and the fire in his eyes danced with righteous fury when he grabbed my shoulders. The wolf side of me bared its teeth, screaming for me to retaliate against the infringement of my space, but I fought to keep it down. “You’ve got to take care of her,” he said, his voice tight. “You’ve got to protect her from those who would hurt her. I’ve seen the look in Koya’s eyes. She loves you as much as you love her. Protect her at all costs. Take her away from all of this.”

  I shook my head and my eyes burned. “I can’t,” I said softly.

  He pushed me against the wall. I felt the bite of stone against the scars along my back. “You don’t let her go,” he said in a growl that would have done a full-grown wolf proud.

  I didn’t care about the pressure of the bricks against my shoulders or the way his fingers dug into my skin with the urgency of his words. I felt a fist closing around my heart, choking off anything but my love for Koya and the fact that she was lost to me before we even had a chance. I blinked against angry tears. “I am an animal,” I said past the knot in my throat.

  Brayton shook his head, his eyes never leaving mine. “Abilene’s lowly birth and blood mattered nothing to me, do you hear me? Nothing! If you have love, don’t let it go because you don’t live up to Koya’s birthright. She doesn’t see you as inferior.”

  A shudder ran under my skin. The wolf was breaking free and I couldn’t hold it back much longer. “I can’t,” I repeated again through gritted teeth.

  “Do you love her?” Brayton asked, his eyes searching mine intently.

  Unable to speak past the control I was using to keep my animal side at bay, I nodded mutely.

  “Then you have-” Brayton’s eyes widened. He lifted his hands from my shoulders and took a step back.

  I dropped to the ground. I couldn’t fight it anymore. My shirt tore and pants shredded as my form changed. Fur ran over my body and my nose and mouth elongated into a muzzle with teeth made for tearing flesh instead of mulling over honeyed yams and salads laced with vinegar dressing. My fingers shrunk into paws suited for traveling the shadowy depths of the forest in the mile-eating lope of the wolf. My ears grew pointed and shifted higher on my head where they caught echoes of laughter and the faint chink of glasses at the ball.

  I rose slowly, comfortable in my wolf form but out of place once more. I took a deep breath and turned my head to look at Lord Brayton. He watched me, his mouth open and a hand out as if to shield him from what happened. “Victus,” he whispered softly.

  I lowered my head at the fear in the single word and walked away on silent paws into the night.

  Chapter 13

  When I reached Koya’s rooms she was nowhere to be seen, but her scent was fresh as if she had left only moments ago. The smell of a servant I recognized from the ballroom tangled with Koya’s and held a citrus and pine touch of worry. I followed the meadow gold and vanilla trail to a part of the castle I had never been before.

  There was a stark contrast between the tapestried and elegantly decorated main areas of the castle and the wing I now walked. The carpets were a strange color, an off shade of green with shell pink interspersed. Oil paintings of fish hung on the walls and several statues in odd, indiscernible shapes stood in small alcoves. Smoking sticks in holders gave off acrid scents that probably smelled like roses to the human nose, but clouded my senses and left a dull taste in my mouth.

  “How long ago did it start?” Koya asked further down the hall.

  “Moments, my lady. I ran to get you as soon as she showed the signs,” an anxious female voice replied.

  “Where is Teritha?” Joven asked. His presence surprised me. I thought the hall I traveled was the only one leading to their mother’s wing, but Joven’s scent in the hallway was weeks old. He must have entered another way.

  “She went to retrieve your mother’s salts,” the young woman answered.

  A moan and the sound of footsteps followed. I reached the room in time to see Joven pick his mother up from a couch near the fireplace and carry her as though she weighed less than a pine bough to a green and pink spread bed beneath a window. The concern on his face made me pause. He settled her gently on the bed and both he and Koya tucked the blankets carefully around her.

  I studied Duchess Ramielle from my place in the shadows. She looked small in the massive four poster bed as though she was a child instead of a ruling monarch. Her body convulsed and her eyes were closed tight as though in pain. I wondered what caused her ailment. It was obvious by the actions of her children that they were familiar with her condition.

  A servant in black and red robes handed Koya a rag; she patted it gently along her mother’s forehead and cheeks. Joven spoke softly to his mother in tender tones. “You’re going to be alright, Mother. Teritha will be back soon. Koya and I are right here.” The notes he used were the same as a mother wolf crooning to an ailing pup. I studied the siblings, touched beyond thought. Their expressions were the same, the caring way Koya smoothed her mother’s hair from her face and how Joven held his mother’s hand as her convulsions died down.

  My heart throbbed painfully. The siblings loved their mother dearly. Even though her lack of attention to castle matters threatened the existence of their duchy, and her strange consideration of decorations instead of the attendees at the ball set her apart, they looked past it all. I realized her condition and her peculiarities might be related. Perhaps the convulsions messed with her thoughts. The vacant look in her eyes matched the hint of sickly-sweet confusion in the air. She was lost and her children didn’t know how to find her.

  I swallowed against the tightness of my throat. I never knew my parents. I used to pretend the wolves were my family, something that had been easy when I was a pup, but became harder with each change. They had accepted me and raised me as their own, but my origins were a mystery. Wolves were family animals, and the lack of those who bore my blood had haunted me since my first change. To see Joven and Koya act with such tender love toward their mother who barely seemed to recognize them made my eyes burn. What I wouldn’t give for someone like her in my life, for a mother, even one as lost as Duchess Ramielle.

  A shriek sounded behind me and I turned to see a servant with red hair that stood up in all directions pressed against the hallway wall, her face white and hands shaking; she held a bowl that let off the pungent scent of hartshorn.

  “Teritha, it’s alright,” Joven said quickly. “That’s Koya’s dog.” He mouthed sorry as he passed me to retrieve the shaking handmaiden. She e
yed me anxiously when he led her into the room and handed her bowl to Koya. Koya waved the salts under her mother’s nose; the woman’s convulsions calmed noticeably.

  I disappeared into the shadows of the hall.

  ***

  The guards stood aside and let me leave the outer gate unchecked. The mint-laced scent of respect touched my nose when I passed and I glanced back to see them whispering to each other in low tones. I recognized several from the battle against the Viel. A strange surge of pride and fellowship flooded my chest. We had bled together and defended Vielkeep against danger. The camaraderie softened the painful aching of my heart.

  When I reached the tree line, golden eyes reflected the moonlight. I let out a quiet huff and the wolves stepped out into the starlit grass. A surge of relief filled my chest at the sight of the eight wolves. Gull pranced forward and licked my face. Cricket jumped through the grass like a pup while Pond Jumper bit at his tail. I was filled with joy at their presence. Being surrounded by the wolves again felt like coming home.

  Shadow Runner walked up slowly. His black fur blended with the shadows and his gray eyes regarded me calmly. I lowered my gaze and bowed my head in gratitude for their continued loyalty. They had left their home and all they knew to follow me after I was captured. Without their howls at night to give me strength, I would have perished long ago under the Cruel One’s possession. Shadow Runner let out a humored breath. I looked up and he tipped his head toward the forest. I took a step toward him and he vanished beneath the trees.

  Silver Leaf, the closest thing to a mother I had, pushed against my shoulder with her nose and breathed in the scents from my fur. She had cared for me after my first wolf parents, the silver-tipped graceful Stardancer and her mate Darkest Night, Shadow Runner’s father, passed away. The hardest part with the change was that I took on the years of a human instead of those of a wolf. I aged slower and lived longer. It had been painful to watch my adopted wolf siblings and family grow old and die while I was still a child. No one could explain to me why I was different, but the wolves accepted me for what I was and cared for me anyway.

  Their quiet acceptance was a balm to the chaos that swirled through my thoughts. I pushed away the confusing human emotions and gave in to being just a wolf. The thoughts and human language dimmed as I followed the pack though the trees. The mossy, rich forest loam sunk under our paws so that we walked soundlessly beneath oaks, evergreens, aspens, and maples that grew older the further we traveled.

  Shadow Runner picked up the pace. My heart sped at the scent of a loan elk, an older fellow that scored the trees with his antlers. Fresh leaves littered the trail; we were close. We spread out like a fan. I took the right flank next to Trace. He ghosted through the trees in the tireless lope of the wolf.

  I leaped a fallen tree, ducked the low-swept branches of a pine, and dodged a bush laden with blueberries. I felt myself grinning and forced my lips back over my teeth. Wolves didn’t smile like humans; they put their joy into the experience instead of expression.

  The scent warmed until I could smell musk lingering on bent branches and grass. His hoof prints sunk deep into the forest floor, a path even a human would have been able to follow. The elk was wandering aimlessly, unaware of the pack hot on his trail. I swept further to the right, ready to intercept him should Shadow Runner’s advance cause him to spook. My heart raced and I forgot my worries at Vielkeep entirely. The thrill of the hunt pounded with the blood through my veins. I longed to bite into hot flesh and reaffirm my position in the pack.

  The crisp breeze brought the promise of cold winter nights and snow-laden mountains not long on its tail. The pack would need to find shelter soon. I wondered if I should go with them. It felt so right to be running with wolves around me once more. I could forget the worries at the castle, Koya’s safety, the heartache caused by knowing we could never be together, the curious looks and fears of those who didn’t understand, the society and politics I didn’t grasp. It would be so easy to run away and leave it all behind. I pushed the thoughts aside and gave myself fully to the hunt, a wolf once more.

  The elk spooked my way as I guessed he would. Trace jumped up as it neared and it reared back on its hind legs, its front hooves thrashing dangerously in the air. One blow with those would end the life of a wolf as quickly as a torn throat. Trace danced clear just as Pond Jumper bit the elk’s flank. The animal dropped to all fours and turned with its head lowered. Both wolves barely jumped free in time to avoid the deadly antlers. Shadow Runner leaped at its other side. It turned faster this time and I saw my opening.

  I dodged to the right and latched onto the elk’s exposed throat. The weight of my body pulled it down to its knees. The other wolves bit into its fur, holding it so I could take the killing bite. I bit down further and felt my teeth tear through flesh. I closed my eyes at the sound of its blood pounding millimeters beneath my muzzle. All I had to do was shut my jaws and the animal’s life would be over. I could feed the wolves in gratitude for all they had done; I could feast with them and be one of the pack again.

  The elk struggled, but knew he had no hope. Blood pounded in my ears. I could hear his breath whistle past my tight hold. The summer wind lay tangled in his fur, telling of sun-lit meadows and warm ponds laden with lily pads and willows. His muscles rolled just beneath the surface, an animal who wanted desperately to live despite the odds against him.

  I shook off the thoughts and told myself to bite down. The pack was hungry and should eat. I needed to kill the elk. I owed it to them.

  Memories of the Viel slaughtering Rasmus’ men ran through my mind. Bodies lay everywhere on either side of the wall, men who would never return to their families. There was no reason for them to die. The stale scent of old blood filled my nose along with the rot and decay of the white-skinned Viel. I tasted their putrid flesh again along with the bitter white substance that was their blood. I saw their bodies lying in droves along the wall between those of the humans, so many humans who didn’t deserve to die.

  The elk struggled again. I let go of his throat and stepped back. Surprised, he froze for a moment, then shook off the other wolves. He stomped one of his great hooves in warning and relief, then he turned and fled the small clearing as though the Viel themselves pursued him.

  Shadow Runner met my eyes. His chest with heaving with the effort of holding down the animal and red stained his lips where he had torn the elk’s flesh. He merely watched me, his golden eyes betraying nothing. I knew I had let him down. He didn’t deserve to let his pack go hungry just because one wolf didn’t know his place in the proper order of things. I had failed him after all that he had done for me. But instead of growling a challenge or walking away, he let out a small huff and his ears dropped back, then forward. I had surprised him, but in the way of the wolf he accepted it even when I couldn’t.

  I gave a whine of apology and turned away. Silver Leaf pushed against my shoulder with her own, ever accepting of her strange son. Traveler watched me, his worn eyes knowing and sad. The world had changed. He knew I was different in ways neither of us understood. He knew I was going to leave.

  I licked Silver Leaf’s cheek and gave a small bark of farewell to the pack. When I turned away, they let me go. Shadow Runner called his pack together and they disappeared into the star-strewn night beneath the trees. The soft fall of their paws against decaying leaves and moss faded into the quiet hum of crickets and the familiar, gentle breeze. I watched after them.

  Silence filled my body, a silence so deep I felt it in my bones and the aching parts of my heart. I had no urge to follow them. I was no longer a true wolf fit to run within the pack and partake of the spoils of the hunt.

  I padded slowly back through the long grasses toward the castle. The blush of the rising sun touched the bricks with red and gold. Sunlight reflected off the windows in hues of pink and orange. The myriad scents of hundreds of people behind its walls and in the city below tangled in the morning air. I felt a pang of longing to belong to the sce
nts of baking bread, cooling iron, livestock, and leather. The lemon and nutmeg scents of comfort and happiness told of citizens who were secure in their homes and professions. Joven and Koya did their best to take care of their duchy, and it showed.

  ***

  When I reached the gate, the guards were arguing with a man dressed in black and gray. I slipped behind them to enter the castle grounds when a scent touched my nose. I bared my teeth and a growl rumbled in my chest.

  The man and the three guards who detained him turned in surprise. The man’s face blanched as the head guard’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully. A memory flashed through my mind of the side of his face covered in blood, a sword in one hand and a staff in the other. A thin white bandage concealed the wound by his ear that he received during the Viel attack. The name Waylan came to mind. He gave me a nod of respect.

  “You said you were from Sunhold?” Waylan asked the man.

  He nodded quickly. “I am. Lord Blakeley is awaiting my presence.” His scent did not hold the grain and sunlight aroma that hung around Lord Blakeley, Lady Stry, and the other members of their party from the farming Duchy. Instead, he carried an underlying musk of sea salt and fish, the same smell that matched the assassin who threatened Koya. My growl deepened and I took a step forward. The man took a similar step back, his eyes wide.

  Waylan gave a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m sure you won’t mind if I verify your information,” he said amiably. He waved to a stable boy; the lad hurried over.

  “As I said before,” the man argued, his eyes never leaving me, “I’m in a hurry. I don’t appreciate such a purposeful delay that will put me in bad standing with my Lord.”

  The humorless smile vanished from the head guard’s face. “And as I said before, I am under strict orders to refuse entry to any citizen from Brean. My concern is for the welfare of my Lord and Lady, not your standing.”