A Mother's Love: An Exclusive Short Story

by Santa Montefiore

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  Contents

  “A Mother’s Love”

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Epilogue

  Extended excerpt from The Woman from Paris

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  To mothers everywhere

  A MOTHER’S LOVE

  1

  Robert strode purposefully through the orchard to his mother’s house, accompanied by his loyal golden Labrador, Tarquin. The evening light had softened to a warm honey tone as the sun sank behind the fields, turning the sky pink. The air was thick with the sweet scents of mown grass and ripening wheat and the ground was already dampening with dew. Pigeons billed and cooed in the lime trees as they settled down to roost and a pair of fluffy blue tits squabbled playfully about the bird feeder his wife, Celeste, had hung from a pear tree in the no-man’s-land between their modest farmhouse and his parents’ much grander home farther down the valley. From there he could see the tiled rooftops of their seventeenth-century manor, mottled with moss and algae and weathered to a muted reddish brown. The rows of ornate-shafted chimneys seemed to balance precariously above the triangular gables like unsteady sentinels, weary of keeping watch. One, which was no longer in use, was now the nest of an uncommonly large pigeon who had settled in for the summer. The manor had the tousled charm of a much-beloved toy whose fur has worn away in places because of so much affection, and Robert felt a surge of fondness for the house that would always be home.

  Robert had grown up at Chawton Grange with his three sisters, but he was the only child to remain, as the girls had since married and moved away. He loved the farm and had fond memories of driving tractors in his youth and helping out at harvesttime during the long summer holidays. Growing up had been easy in such a beautiful place. Now, as life grew more complicated, he reflected on those long, lazy days in the fields, when grief had not yet sought him out and the future had stretched ahead like a pure summer sky, clear and full of promise. He could never have foreseen how things would change.

  Robert had lost his eight-year-old son, Jack, to leukemia sixteen months before. He would never get over it, but he had learned to live with it, like the dull, throbbing pain of a chronic condition that never goes away. He often wondered whether his loss was in some perverse way life’s balancing of the books, payment for thirty years of unadulterated pleasure. Had he been asked, he would happily have chosen thirty years of misery in exchange for his son’s good health. Celeste had not yet learned to live with her grief. It had gushed and flowed around her like a terrible flood of pain, forming an impassable moat, hemming her in and forcing him out. She had shrunk into herself like a tortoise resentful of the light. Her laughter no longer bubbled and her smile had ceased altogether, so that her face had set into a taut, unhappy scowl. He had not only lost his child, but he had lost his wife, too. Jack had taken her heart with him, leaving his father with nothing but the shell.

  He thrust his hands into his pockets and walked out of the orchard into his parents’ garden. The sight of home momentarily uplifted him, like ascending out of shade into sunshine. Every corner of that serene oasis echoed with the laughter of his childhood games. Now that laughter reached him in waves of nostalgia and his heart ached for that innocence, now gone, and that ignorance, so sweet, because back then he hadn’t known the bitter taste of bereavement. Back then he hadn’t known the ferocity of love either.

  His father, Huxley, was busy up a ladder, deadheading the roses in a panama hat and pale linen jacket, while his mother sat on the terrace in regal splendor, a cigarette in one hand, a pen in the other, her large dogs at her feet and a half-eaten box of chocolate truffles on the table in front of her, doing the crossword.

  She sensed his approach and popped a truffle into her mouth. “I thought it wouldn’t be long before you trotted down to reproach me,” she said, putting the newspaper aside with a sigh. Robert descended the stone steps onto the terrace.

  “Help yourself to a glass of wine,” suggested his father from the ladder. “It’s that Chilean sauvignon blanc you gave me to try. I think it’s rather good. Has a fruity taste.”

  “Listen, Mum, why can’t you have him?” Robert poured himself a glass and sat on the bench opposite his mother. “You are his grandmother.”

  Marigold took off her glasses and fixed him with pale, turquoise eyes. At seventy-three, those eyes still had the power to mesmerize, even though her body, which had expanded over the years like a sponge in water, retained none of its once infamous allure. Wrapped in layers of loose cottons and fine pashmina wraps, Marigold had given in to the chocolates and cakes she had spent her youth avoiding, and her long blond hair was pinned loosely on top of her head so that it resembled the pigeon’s nest on the chimney. “Because I’m very busy,” she said briskly, lifting her chin.

  Robert stared at her—the least busy woman in the south of England—and pulled a bewildered face. “Busy? Doing what?”

  “I’m afraid I simply can’t entertain an eight-year-old boy for five days. I have people coming and Mrs. Cleaves will be on holiday, so I’ll have to cook, which you know I loathe. I’m going up to London midweek, Freddie and Ginny have asked us to the opera, and I’ve decided to learn bridge, so I’m joining a club in Alresford. You see, no time to look after a small boy.” She averted her eyes and took a sip of wine, which immediately made her look shifty.

  Robert knew his mother had deliberately arranged things to avoid having his sister’s child for a week, but he couldn’t work out why. It was very out of character for her to be selfish. When Jack had been alive, he and Celeste had resorted to inventing things in order to keep her away, and she had jumped at any opportunity to have him to herself. “There must be somebody else she can leave him with?” he suggested in desperation, picturing Celeste sobbing on her bed at the prospect of having a child in the house again when her emotions were still so raw. “Please, Mum. Celeste is beside herself.”

  Marigold’s blue eyes softened with compassion. “Darling, they’re moving back from Australia after having been away for sixteen years. Georgia has no friends here anymore, only us. She wouldn’t have asked you if she hadn’t been desperate. You’re her last resort. It’s only five days. I think you’ll manage.”

  “It’s not me I’m worried about. I have no problem with looking after my nephew. I’m thinking about Celeste.”

  “Georgia says he’s a very easy child. He just entertains himself. He won’t need much looking after, he’s very independent. That’s what happens when you have older sisters. You were always independent, too.”

  “God,” he groaned. “I promised Celeste I’d sort it out.”

  Marigold popped another chocolate into her mouth and patted one of the Alsatians which was now sitting up and demanding attention. She shrugged. “Tant pis, darling. Such is life. You might find it turns out to be a blessing.”

  Robert drained his glass then made his way back to the cottage with Tarquin, leaving the warmth of his parents’ garden for the chill of his own. When he was growing up, the cottage had been inhabited
by the farm manager, but as soon as Celeste had gotten pregnant, his father had handed it over to him. The manager had been an expert rose grower, and when Celeste had moved in, she had lovingly tended them, but since Jack had died she hadn’t touched them, so that now few buds flowered and all one could see was a tangle of thorny tentacles falling away from the twine that once held them against the walls.

  When he reached the cottage, he found his wife at her bedroom window, staring out over the field towards the woods, as if she longed to run there and never come back. As she heard him coming up the stairs, she swung around. “So, what did she say?” Her face was contorted with anxiety.

  He shook his head. “She can’t.”

  “Can’t?”

  “I’m sorry, darling. The child is coming to stay. There’s nothing I can do.”

  Celeste was speechless. She put a frail white hand to her mouth, where the fingers trembled against her lips and tears trickled down her cheeks. Robert sighed heavily and attempted to embrace her, but she stopped him, shaking her head vigorously. Her eyes spoke of her resentment, as if it was all his fault, so he turned and left her alone, as he so often did now, his own heart brimming with bitterness because Jack was his son, too. But Celeste couldn’t see past her own grief to notice his.

  Celeste sat on the bed and turned her eyes once again to the woods. The wheat shimmered in the breeze like a golden sea as darkness crept up slowly, swallowing the remains of the light and another day. For that she was grateful; one less to live without Jack.

  In a strange way Celeste had settled into her grief. Even though it was painful, there was comfort in its familiar patterns. She was used to the dead feeling in her soul, the chill of winter that had taken all color and joy from her spirit; the bleak, flat light, as hard as slate, which had pervaded her world. The prospect of having another child in the house had suddenly disrupted her rhythm and wrenched her out of herself. How would she cope? What would she do with him? How could Robert have allowed this to happen?

  2

  The morning of Bruno’s arrival, Celeste refused to get out of bed. Robert had taken the day off, leaving his young employee Jacques-Louis to manage the wineshop so that he could welcome his nephew and say hello to his sister, whom he hadn’t seen since she’d flown over for Jack’s funeral. Marigold and Huxley had driven round and now waited in the kitchen with cups of tea and biscuits. The atmosphere was tense, especially as Celeste had not yet emerged. Tarquin sighed from his basket, closed his eyes, and went back to sleep. The sound of rain on the windowpanes only added to the dreary mood inside.

  At last Celeste appeared in the doorway, a stiff and distant creature. She had tied her hair back into a severe ponytail and folded her arms across her chest in an obvious display of defensiveness. She could not disguise her fury and barely greeted her mother-in-law, who bit into another biscuit out of nervousness. Only Huxley chatted away in his usual jovial manner, as if nothing were untoward. “I took the dogs up to Tin Sheds this morning, and d’you know what I saw? There in the middle of the field was a family of deer. Wonderful sight in spite of the damage they do to the crops.”

  “You should get your gun out, Dad,” Robert suggested.

  “I’ve grown magnanimous in my old age, Robert. What with the hares and rabbits, this farm is a haven for wildlife, and I rather like it that way, although they eat away all my profits. It’s a losing battle and I’ve accepted I’ve lost.”

  Tarquin’s ears pricked before anyone else heard the car. A moment later the rumble of the engine defused the awkwardness of waiting but seemed to suck the oxygen out of the room. Celeste’s shoulders tensed, Robert paled, Marigold caught her husband’s eye.

  But Huxley clapped his big hands and beamed. “Ah, good,” he said. “Robert, go and fetch an umbrella so they don’t get soaked.” Tarquin stood by the door, wagging his tail, until Robert appeared with a golfing umbrella to open it. They dashed outside together.

  Marigold didn’t dare look at Celeste. She could see her taut profile out of the corner of her eye and feel her resentment as if the air around her were charged with prickly little filaments. She might have buckled then, if she hadn’t thought of her son and the children he longed for but wasn’t allowed to have. Instead, she lifted her chin and stepped forward as her daughter and grandson hurried up the path beneath Robert’s umbrella, bursting into the hall with peals of laughter.

  “Goodness, I forgot how much it rains in England!” Georgia exclaimed happily. “Oh, Daddy, it’s so good to see you!” She embraced her father, pressing her cold face to his cheek. “You’ve lost weight!” she said, turning on her mother. “You have been feeding him, haven’t you, Mum?”

  “Darling, he’s just getting old.” Marigold chuckled, gathering her daughter into her arms like a fat hen. “You look well, though. Gosh, it’s good to have you back. Now where’s my grandson? Bruno?”

  The boy stood behind his mother in a pair of jeans and sneakers, his thick brown hair falling over eyes the color of Marigold’s milk-chocolate truffles. He smiled diffidently, a little overwhelmed by the strange faces staring at him. Shyly, he put out his hand.

  Marigold smiled affectionately. “Goodness, you are polite,” she said. “But I’m your grandmother, so I’m going to give you a jolly good hug.” The child caught his uncle’s eye as he was enveloped in cotton and cashmere and his grandmother’s lily-of-the-valley perfume.

  Robert pulled a face, at which Bruno grinned back, his cheeks flushing the color of strawberries. “Mum, do put him down. Boys hate to be mollycoddled!” he said.

  “Oh, darling, you’re so grown-up!” she gushed, releasing him. “I can hardly believe it. How lucky we are that you’ve come to stay.” Then, remembering her daughter-in-law, she swung around. “You’ve never met your aunt Celeste, have you? Well, here she is. Celeste?”

  Marigold tried to disguise her anxiety with a chuckle, but her chest felt tight with dread. She watched her daughter-in-law shake the child’s hand and manage a wan smile, and longed for her to muster up a little more enthusiasm, if only to make the boy feel welcome. She was relieved when Robert stepped in and introduced him to Tarquin. The child’s face opened with pleasure at the sight of the dog. He stroked his wet head and laughed as the animal lifted his nose and tried to lick his hand. “He’s awesome,” he said. “I think Tarquin and I are going to be buddies.”

  “I think you are, too,” Marigold interjected.

  “Do you like tractors, Bruno?” his grandfather asked.

  “Sure,” Bruno replied with a shrug.

  “I’ll show you around the farm and you can drive one, if you like.”

  “Really? Drive one?” The boy’s eyes shone excitedly. He glanced at his mother.

  Georgia put up her hands. “I don’t want to know what you two get up to.” She laughed. “Celeste, I’m leaving him in your capable hands.”

  Celeste managed another weak smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll look after him,” she said softly. “Bruno, would you like to see your room?” The child nodded. They set off up the stairs, followed by Tarquin.

  Marigold seized her daughter’s arm. “I hope he’s going to be all right,” she hissed.

  “Mum, he’s going to be fine. He loves the countryside and he adores his uncle Robert. They really clicked when he came to Sydney. Don’t worry about him. He’s got a wisdom beyond his years. Trust me, I wouldn’t have agreed to leave him here if I didn’t think he could handle it.”

  Marigold sighed. “Well, we’re just through the garden if he wants to come down.”

  Georgia smiled and patted her mother’s arm. “I know. He’ll seek you out if he needs you.”

  Celeste showed Bruno the spare room. It was at the end of the corridor with a big window that looked out over the garden. They could see the chimneys of Chawton Grange through the rain. “Shame the weather’s so bad,” she said, struggling to find something to say. Her instinct was to reject this child who had stepped in to take Jack’s place in the house, but he
r head reminded her of his innocence. He was a boy, after all. Just a boy who had no idea of the unhappiness he was causing.

  “Oh, I love the rain,” Bruno replied. “I like to stand in it under an umbrella. I like the sound.”

  “Really? I hate getting wet,” said Celeste, folding her arms across her chest.

  “Tarquin doesn’t mind that, do you, Tarquin?” He patted the dog’s head again.

  “Did you have a dog in Sydney?”

  “No, I had a rabbit. But they don’t do much.”

  “Dogs make better friends,” Celeste added, realizing as she spoke just how much of a comfort Tarquin had been to her since she lost Jack. “Are you hungry? What do you like to eat?”

  “Not really,” he replied. “I don’t like beans.”

  “I don’t like brussels sprouts.”

  “Mum makes me eat them.”

  “I won’t.”

  Bruno grinned. “That’s good.”

  “While you’re here, you can do pretty much anything you like.” She hoped he would entertain himself. She had no intention of spending any more time with him than absolutely necessary.

  When they returned downstairs, Robert had brought in Bruno’s case, his gumboots and coat, and Georgia was sitting at the kitchen table with her parents, drinking a cup of tea. “You’re so good to have him, Celeste. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”

  Celeste suppressed the urge to snap at Georgia, and instead asked, “What sort of things does he like to do?”

  “Oh, anything, he’s not fussy.”

  “Robert will be working, but I suppose I’ll find things for him to do.”

  “He likes Legos, coloring, exploring. There’s plenty to do outside. It’ll take him five days to explore the grounds here. He’s pretty happy on his own.”

  Celeste nodded. “He can use the playroom.” Her face blanched further as her thoughts turned to Jack’s old room of toys. She averted her eyes. “I’ve got lots of Legos.”