“I knew you’d do great, baby,” he says, taking a swig of his beer, and I bite my lower lip anxiously. “So what’s the next step on your gallery show?” he asks, out of the blue, taking me by surprise. “You haven’t mentioned it in a couple days.”
“Well, next, I need to get Lola some images of all of my nudes,” I say timidly, thinking about all that will entail. “Or get her to my studio at the apartment.” My voice sounds small and fearful to my ears and I sigh tiredly. I don’t want to go back there, but I know that I really have no choice. All of my artwork is there. I will need to find another place to store it all, and to separate out the nudes for the show. I’ll have to spend at least an afternoon there, whether I want to or not.
Josh reaches out and takes my hand, looking at me as if he’s reading my mind. “You decide where you want to store your artwork and we’ll get it moved, Sam. You won’t ever have to go back there by yourself if you don’t want to, baby. Don’t even worry about that, okay?”
He is so sincere, I can’t help but smile at him and he lets go of my hand and reaches up to caress my face. Then he leans in and kisses my lips gently. I move to get up and clear the table then and he starts to help me.
“It’s all right, I’ll get it,” I say softly.
“I don’t mind helping.”
I tilt my head and smile at him. “I know you don’t mind helping, and I appreciate it. But I’ll get it. You’ve been working all day. Go relax,” I say, leaning down to kiss him tenderly. He looks at me in surprise I think, and I turn and get to work.
He disappears while I clean the kitchen and when I’m finished, I find him in his exercise room. His white t-shirt has been discarded to the floor and the TV is on and tuned to CNN. He is listening to the national news as he is doing what looks like bench pressing, only he’s using two 60 pound dumbbells, one in each hand. His body is magnificent and I become transfixed on the movement of the muscles of his chest and arms as he works. Inspiration hits me and I go quickly into the bedroom and grab my sketchbook and a few graphite pencils. Returning to the exercise room, I quickly perch on a stool near the bench and get to work myself. I think I see a small, indulgent grin on Josh’s face as he watches me out of the corner of his eye, but I’m too preoccupied to comment.
I begin to draw furiously, sketching Josh as he works out. And I can’t help but admire his long, lean muscles while I attempt to capture the beauty of them. He says nothing as we work and he moves from one exercise to another. I watch as he puts down his weights and stands, and then he adjusts the bench into an inclined, seated position. He picks up the weights again and sits, raising the dumbbells high above his head and bringing them down to a ninety degree angle, in a shoulder press.
He concentrates on his workout as I concentrate on his form, and soon I have sketch after sketch of his beautiful body in motion. After a long workout, he sets down his weights and stands up. I think he’s finished but, to my delight, he begins to stretch the muscles of his chest and arms. He stands with his feet shoulder length apart and raises both arms so that his body forms a T with his palms facing forward. Then he begins to move his arms backward as far as he can while keeping them perfectly straight.
I sketch furiously again, watching his form closely as I work. Placing his hands behind his head, he executes a similar movement, stretching out the muscles of his chest once more. Then he moves to the wall behind him and faces it. He places the whole of his right arm against the wall at shoulder height, palm flat against it, and then he slowly turns his entire body away from the wall while keeping his arm in place. Adjusting the angle of his arm against the wall, he continues to stretch it thoroughly. He repeats this sequence with his left arm, holding each stretch for a good 10 seconds before moving on to another position and I am sketching voraciously the whole time.
When he is finally finished with his cool down, he turns to me with a sexy little smile on his face. He is panting slightly as he studies me, and I suddenly feel very shy and exposed.
“Can I see what you’ve done?” he asks softly, motioning to my sketchbook. I blush slightly as I timidly hand over my sketchbook to him. And I watch as he slowly flips through the pages, taking in my drawings. I feel a ripple of nerves as his eyebrows shoot up and then a slow smile spreads across his face.
“Most of them were done hastily,” I say quietly, trying to explain why they’re not exactly up to snuff.
He looks up at me in surprise. “Samantha, these are great,” he says excitedly.
“You think so?”
“Baby, I know so,” he insists. “These are really, really good. But don’t take my word for it; you should show them to your friend. See what she thinks.”
He hands the sketchbook back to me and I think about his words, looking at a sketch of his beautiful form, and something occurs to me. “Josh, if Lola does like these … could they be used in a show?” I ask quietly. “You’re not naked and they’re not suggestive in any way.”
He sighs as he looks at me indulgently. Then he nods slowly. “Yeah, I suppose they could,” he says softly, and I feel myself smiling ridiculously as I hop off the stool and into his arms. He closes his arms around me and kisses me swiftly. “Shower time,” he says wickedly, and takes me by the hand, leading me out of the exercise room and off to the shower.
Chapter Three
Joshua
I reach over to turn off the alarm, and then turn back to Samantha. She looks so sweet, tucked safely into the crook of my arm. She stretches and smiles as her gorgeous green eyes flutter open and focus on me. I can’t help myself. I touch her face, softly caressing her cheek and counting the few light freckles on her nose. There are five. She is so beautiful! I wish that we could lay here all day and bask in the afterglow of last night’s marathon lovemaking but, I have to get up and get moving.
I lean down and kiss her soft lips tenderly, my tongue playing sensually with hers for a moment. Then I kiss her neck, just below her ear, and nuzzle her ear as I whisper, “You are so unbelievably beautiful, Samantha.”
She moans softly, her fingers in my hair. “I love you, too, Joshua.”
Her response surprises me. Not because she said it, but because she knows now how I feel about her, even though I say it with different words. I smile at her and kiss her once more before getting up and heading to the shower.
~~~~~~~~
I sit behind the wheel of the cruiser driving absentmindedly back to the station. My mind is clearly focused on waking up with Samantha this morning and not on my job. Conner and I have just finished questioning – and eliminating – a suspect in the double assault case, and now it’s back to the drawing board on this one.
As I drive, my mind can’t help drifting back to last night with Samantha. She is so amazing. And beautiful. And incredible. Jeez, Pierce. You are acting like a fool. A love-struck, pussy-whipped fool. I sigh at the realization but, I don’t give a shit. I know that I’m acting like an idiot in love. And part of me is embarrassed by that. The part of me that still believes love and happiness don’t really exist – or at least, can’t exist for me. But the bigger, more rational part of me understands what I’ve found and just wants to hold on to Samantha, and to this feeling, for as long as I can.
She was so sweet last night. Last night. God, it was perfect! She was perfect! I walked through the door and she practically jumped into my arms. When I gave her that playlist yesterday morning I had no idea what would happen; I just wanted her to know how I feel about her. But it turned out to have a profound effect on our relationship. We listened to that playlist together and made love on the couch for hours. And then we made love for hours after my workout. And the emotional connection was so deep, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. She made me feel … so much. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it. I know that I’m completely and totally in love with this woman and there is not a damn thing that I can do about it. I just wish that I could tell her that in the way I know she wants me to.
Sh
e said that it was okay, the fact that I can’t say those words right now. And she seemed to really understand the purpose of the playlist. To understand that I do love her, even though I won’t say it. And this morning, after the alarm went off and I was just about to get out of bed and into the shower, she knew instinctively what I meant when I told her she was beautiful. She got it. Last night, she said that she was listening closely now; and today, I know for certain that she really is.
“Earth to Guy. Hello!” Conner’s voice suddenly pulls me back to the here and now, and he’s waving a hand in front of my face, as if to get my attention. It works. I frown and look over at him with an annoyed glance as I continue to drive. “Where the fuck did you just go?” he asks, frowning back at me.
I sigh heavily. “Sorry, Dave,” I mumble. “My mind is elsewhere, I guess. What were you saying?”
“I was saying that I think our best bet might be to interview the frat boys one more time. I don’t think they’re being straight with us about what happened at the bar.”
I nod slightly. “Yeah, you might be right.”
“Okay … what’s up?” he asks in a serious tone. And I look over at him and he’s eyeing me speculatively. “There’s obviously something on your mind. Samantha still at your place?”
“Yeah, she is,” I answer distractedly.
“How’s that working out?”
“It’s working out great,” I shrug.
“Yeah?”
Stopping at a red light, I turn and give him an annoyed frown. “Yeah. What are you getting at?”
He shrugs at me. “I’m not getting at anything. I’m just trying to figure out why you’re in such a foul mood right now.”
“I’m not in a foul mood right now. I’m in an annoyed mood because of this weird-ass conversation,” I growl at him.
“Fine! Weird-ass conversation’s over. Jeez.” He rolls his eyes at me. “I thought love would turn you into a kinder, gentler dick.”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I didn’t realize I was being a dick,” I say with a slight roll of my eyes. “I’m sorry. Just have a few things on my mind.”
“Like what?” he asks after a short pause.
I shake my head as I pull into the back lot of the police station and into a parking space. Turning off the car, I turn to look him in the eye. “You remember what we talked about before? About learning to deal with Sam’s family if I wanted to be with her?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, she wants me to spend time with her family this weekend. Her cousin’s getting married tomorrow and there’s this rehearsal tonight at her uncle’s place out in Bellevue. Then dinner at Canlis afterwards.”
He whistles. “Bellevue.”
“Yeah.”
“You going?”
I nod. “I have to. Promised her I would. I’m not going to disappoint her by canceling.”
“But you feel uneasy about it?” he asks me, and my only response is a slight shrug of my shoulders and my raised eyebrows. “You’ve met a couple of them before though, right?”
“Yeah, I’ve met the cousin a couple of times. The bride. She seems nice,” I tell him. “She seems supportive of me and Sam being together. She might be the only one though.”
“Hmm. The brother give you a hard time the other day when he found out?”
“I don’t know, man. The brother’s behavior’s been odd. I think that may be what has me so frazzled,” I explain. “When he first found out, his reaction was as I expected, you know? Protective and suspicious. Maybe even slightly hostile.”
“But now?”
“Now … I don’t know. First it was like he pulled a 180. Within in a matter of hours! I went to pick her up at his place and he was nice as could be, acted like we were old friends. Even invited me to come watch the Seahawks in his private box, if you can believe that.”
“No shit?”
“Yeah. And the guy was serious, Dave. It wasn’t just lip service. But then, the very next morning, he is at my house at the crack of dawn, playing some kind of head games with me while supposedly checking up on Sam. He told me, point blank, that he had me investigated. His check into my service record at the PD was extensive. And he keeps telling me that he’s indebted to me, and that if I ever need anything, I shouldn’t hesitate to contact him.”
“But you don’t think he’s being sincere?” Conner asks.
“I don’t know what to think,” I say agitatedly. “It’s like he’s Jekyll and Hyde, you know? Like part of him genuinely respects my position and the work that I do. And even his sister’s decision to be with me. But then this other part of him can’t decide if I’m…,” My voice trails off as a sickening thought occurs to me. I suddenly feel nauseous, and I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before.
“If you’re what?”
I swallow anxiously and take an unsteady breath. “If I’m a monster or not,” I say quietly. Fuck!
“What is it, Guy?” Conner asks after a beat.
“Nothing. Just can’t figure him out, is all,” I lie. There’s no way I’m going to open a vein in front of Conner. I need to talk to Lee.
We get out of the car then and head inside. And as Conner gets started on our paperwork, my eyes dart around the bull pen, desperate to locate Lee Parson. I spot him just as he goes to take a seat at his desk. With a sigh and another nervous glance around, I get up and venture over to him.
“Hey, Lee,” I say in quiet greeting.
“Hey, kid.” His response is clipped and I can tell he’s in the middle of something. I stand awkwardly by his desk and say nothing. He looks up from his computer screen again. “Guy?”
“You got a minute?”
He studies my face for a moment. “For you? Always.” His words make me smile slightly. It’s a phrase he’s said to me many, many times over the years. And one he’s lived up to. He has always made time for me. Even included me in his family’s gatherings. Once I hired onto the department and he took me under his wing, I inherited his wife and two daughters as a sort of extended family. Since then, I’ve been to every birthday party, graduation, and Parson family celebration. He and Molly even go so far as to tell people I’m the son they never had. “What’s on your mind?”
I glance around anxiously once more. “Can we go somewhere?” We both know we can’t head out yet. It’s barely even lunch time.
“Yeah,” he says, setting aside the report he’s working on and standing up. “Follow me.” He takes off out the doors of the detective’s bullpen and down the hall, and I follow as he leads me through the back of the station and out the side door. We end up outside the station, in a small grassy area. There’s a small cafe-style table and chairs out here, and guys sometimes sit here and eat their lunch or have a smoke. It’s deserted at the moment, and we take a seat.
He looks at me with a serious expression. “What’s on your mind?”
I take a deep breath and wonder where to start. “You know, now that Samantha’s case is closed, we don’t have to hide anymore and she’s been staying with me.”
“Yeah, you told me that,” he answers. “Things going all right with you two?”
“Yeah, things are great,” I tell him, and I can’t help the stupid grin I know I’m wearing. He smiles in response. I’m quiet for another moment, and then I take another breath. “I care about her so much, Lee,” I say quietly, and he smiles again. “More than I ever knew was possible.”
“I know. I can see that. And I’m proud of you, Guy,” he says, looking me in the eye. There’s a long pause from me, and I think he can tell that I still haven’t said what’s really on my mind yet. He takes a deep breath of his own and then says, “What’s wrong, son?”
I sigh heavily. “I have to spend the weekend with Samantha’s family. Dinner tonight at a fancy restaurant; a wedding tomorrow at her uncle’s place in Bellevue.”
“And what? You’re afraid you won’t fit in?” Lee asks with a disbelieving scowl on his face.
“No, it’s not that,” I tell him. “Her brother had me investigated.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because he told me so,” I say, glancing up at him.
“Really? What else did the little prick say?” Lee’s voice has taken on a protective, fatherly tone, and I can’t help but smile shyly at him.
I shrug at him. “He seemed genuinely impressed with my service record.”
“That’s all he talked about? Your service record?”
I nod at him. And then I shrug my shoulders as I say, “Most of the time, he acts like a decent enough guy, I guess. But sometimes, I get the feeling he’s … still trying to decide if he should hate me or not.”
“Well, he probably is, Guy. You’re dating his kid sister and he just met you. That’s normal.” Lee says matter-of-factly, and I shoot him a frown. He shakes his head at me. “I know what you’re thinking, kid. But that’s not possible. You were still a juvenile when all that shit went down; those records are sealed.”
He is looking at me sternly but, I can’t help my bitter laugh. “Oh, come on, Lee. You and I both know that for someone with all the money and influence that Lucas Colby has, those records won’t stay sealed for long. Juvenile or not.”
Lee is silent for a moment because he knows I’m right. Then he sighs heavily and says, “Okay. But even if he did dig deeper than your service record, what’s he really gonna find?”
“You know what he’ll find, Lee.”
“Yes,” he nods his head patiently. “But so what?”
“So what?”
He shrugs at me. “So what?”
I know what he’s saying but, it doesn’t make me feel any better, and I run both hands through my hair in frustration.
“I take it Samantha still doesn’t know?” he asks, and I say nothing and just shake my head slowly, feeling my jaw tighten. “You planning on telling her?”
At his question, I can feel the panic begin to set in and my breathing shallows slightly. “I wasn’t! But now…,” I don’t continue with that thought. God knows I don’t want Sam to know any of this. I just told her how I feel about her; we just spent the most amazing night together because of it. I can’t tell her this now. She will leave me in a heartbeat! Fuck! “But what if I don’t tell her, and he does?”
Pierced: Pierced Trilogy Boxed Set Page 60