Pierced: Pierced Trilogy Boxed Set

by Lashell Collins

  “What are you talking about? You were a great mother!” My voice is slightly raised and I run a hand through my hair in frustration.

  “No. No, I wasn’t,” she insists tearfully. “If I had been a better mother … you wouldn’t be carrying around so much guilt and shame all the time.”

  “Mom, I…,” My voice trails off because I have no idea what to say to her. Part of me knows that what she’s saying is the truth. But I have never blamed my mother for the shit that went down back then. How could I? She was powerless against him; I know that. There was nothing she could have done.

  “Mom, if you had taken me and run, he would have come after you. I know that; I see it on my job every day! That’s just the kind of sick asshole he was. What happened back then … it’s not your fault,” I say stepping toward her and taking her into my arms.

  I hold her while she cries softly and I feel strangely … liberated somehow. Like maybe this is a conversation that she and I have needed to have for a long, long time but we’ve both been avoiding all these years. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, and as I do, we suddenly hear the kitchen doors swing open behind us.

  “Oh, I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Samantha’s voice is soft and surprised.

  “No, it’s all right, honey,” Mom sniffs, waving her hand dismissively as she steps away from me, wiping her eyes. “Come on in.”

  Sam steps tentatively into the room and gives me a questioning look. “Um, Phillip and Sherry are leaving,” she says quietly.

  “Oh, okay,” Mom says brightly, and I think she’s grateful for the distraction as she heads out of the kitchen in a hurry.

  “Is everything okay?” Sam asks once we’re alone.

  I reach out and gently run a finger down her cheek as I look into her eyes. “Yeah. We were just talking about the past and she got upset.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry.”

  I smile at her and take her into my arms. “You have nothing to be sorry about, baby.” I lightly kiss her forehead as I hold her. “What do you say we go home ourselves?”

  “I say, yes please.”

  I smile as I place my fingers beneath her chin and lift her lips to mine, kissing her tenderly for a moment. “Come.”

  Chapter Six

  Samantha

  “Thank you for breakfast, baby. It was perfect.” Josh kisses my temple as he stands behind me with his arms wrapped snugly around my waist in a delicious embrace.

  “Thank you for this morning,” I answer with a bashful, coy smile.

  “Oh, no need to thank me for that, baby. It was perfect too,” he smiles, and lightly nibbles on my ear, making me quiver. I moan softly.

  I turn away from the sink and face him, and he kisses me deeply as his hands run slowly down my back to my bottom. He gently squeezes my behind through the silk fabric of my green robe and I melt into him. He pulls away reluctantly.

  “Mmm. We better stop or I’ll never leave,” he mumbles. He kisses me swiftly. “I’ll see you when I get home. Are you sure you don’t want to wait ’til I can go with you?”

  “I’ll be okay,” I assure him. “Lucas promised to have Martin there, and Lola will be there too so … it’ll be fine.”

  “Well, if you get there and you need me, you call me, all right,” he says, caressing my face. “I’ll be there.”

  I smile shyly at him. “Why are you so good to me?” I ask softly, looking up into his bright blue eyes, and he seems to study my face for a moment.

  “Baby, I could ask you the same thing, but you told me to stop questioning it.” He sweetly kisses my forehead then and turns to gather his things. “Have a good day, Sunshine.” He winks at me as he opens the door, and then he’s gone. And I stand grinning like a loon at the door. I love that man!

  I finish cleaning the morning dishes and then grab my cellphone to give Lucas a call. When he answers, he is curt and agitated, and I know that he must be in the middle of something.

  “What?”

  “Hello to you too,” I say rolling my eyes slightly. “Is this a bad time?”

  “Well, it is for the crew down in R&D,” he barks in frustration. Then he sighs and his tone softens as he says, “But not for you, Pita. What’s up?”

  “I just wanted to remind you that I’m going to the apartment this morning. You said Martin could meet me?”

  “Oh. Yes, of course. He’s at your disposal. What are you doing anyway; are you planning to go back for good?”

  “No.” My response is immediate and definite. “I don’t intend to move back in there. But all of my paintings and sketches are there and I need to show them to Lola.”

  “Lola?” I can hear the frown in his voice. “That’s a name I haven’t heard in a while. Isn’t that your weird friend from college?”

  “She’s not weird, Lucas! She’s an artist.”

  “Yeah, she was weird,” he teases, and I roll my eyes at him again.

  “Well, Lola has opened up her own gallery in South Lake Union,” I say, ignoring his weird comments, “and she’s offered me the chance to show my work.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope. Not kidding,” I say feeling nervous all of a sudden. This is the first time I’ve told anyone besides Josh. “I’m actually working on a real gallery show. My show!”

  “Sam … that’s awesome!” The level of support I hear in his voice takes me by surprise.

  “Really?”

  “What do you mean ‘really?’ Of course it is! Why didn’t you say something at the game yesterday; you must be so excited!”

  I am completely taken aback at his reaction. I expected that he’d be slightly supportive but … he’s actually gushing. Just the way Dad would be. My subconscious whispers to me and she is absolutely right. And for some reason, this knowledge makes me tearful. Lucas really has stepped into Dad’s shoes when it comes to looking out for me.

  “Thanks, Lucas,” I say softly.

  “Does Josh know about this?” he asks suddenly.

  “Josh inspired this,” I answer truthfully as I take a seat on the couch. “I would never have taken Lola up on her offer if it hadn’t been for Josh’s encouragement. He’s been so steadfast in his belief in me. It kind of makes me believe in myself a little bit.”

  Lucas is quiet for a moment, and then he says, “Well, I wouldn’t have expected anything less from him. That man is crazy in love with you, Sam.”

  Again, his words take me by surprise. And they bring to mind a question. “Lucas, what do you think of Josh? I mean, you’ve never really said … and I know you had him investigated and I know that you probably found…,” I stop because I don’t know what to say. What should I say? Josh probably wouldn’t want me to say anything.

  “Found what?” His voice is soft and cautious. Probing.

  “Um…,” I swallow nervously. What should I say?

  “Is this about his dad, Sam?” Lucas asks quietly, and all the air leaves my lungs.

  “What … what do you know about his dad?” My voice is so small right now, it sounds strange to my ears.

  Lucas pauses for a split second and then answers, “Everything.”

  Shit! My breathing shallows with fear as I wonder frantically what to say next. I should never have opened this can of worms. Oh, I’m sorry Josh!

  “Everything?”

  “Yes.”

  “So you know … how he died?”

  “Yes, Samantha. I do,” he confirms.

  “And you’re not, um … I mean, you don’t … you … you’re not surprised? Or upset?”

  He pauses once again, and I wonder what he’s thinking. “Why would I be upset, Sam? Because he grew up in a violent home? Because he got thumped on as a kid and watched his mother get beaten on a regular basis? Or maybe because he practically made a career out of beating up bullies on the playground, turning himself into some kind of champion for the weak and the powerless long before he ever became a cop?”

  “He did?” The surprise in m
y voice is evident.

  “You didn’t know that last part?”

  “No,” I whisper, shaking my head slightly.

  “Well, it seems Josh has never been too fond of bullies. For obvious reasons, I’m sure.”

  I had no idea. Oh, Josh! My heart just goes out to him. He must have felt so powerless and alone as a child. Unable to stop the madness in his own home so, he sought to take control of it at school instead.

  “Lucas … who else knows about this?”

  “Just me … and Martin, of course but, no one else.”

  “So, Mom didn’t get this information from you?”

  “Mom?” His voice sounds puzzled, and I know instantly that the answer is no. “Oh, my God. What has she done?”

  We spend several minutes then talking about Mom’s latest attempt to control me, and I can tell that Lucas is shocked that she’d actually go this far. He tries to assure me that Mom is just being over-protective and that she has a strange way of showing her love for me. I don’t respond to that comment, but instead ask him another question.

  “Is Josh aware that you know how his dad died, Lucas?” I suddenly remember him saying something about my brother ‘knowing all the gory details’ when we were arguing the other night. This is what he meant. He was worried that Lucas probably knew everything.

  “Well, we’ve talked twice now about the fact that I had him investigated, so … I’m sure he does, but I’ve never said anything,” Lucas says. “And I don’t intend to. Not unless he brings it up.”

  I am quiet for several seconds and then something occurs to me. “You never answered my original question. What do you think of him?” Part of me is scared to ask, but Lucas’ opinion means a lot to me.

  “Can’t you tell, Pita? You know me. If I didn’t like Josh, you’d know about it by now.”

  “Yes. I suppose that’s true.” Lucas can be rather blunt when it suits him. A byproduct of being the high-powered, hard-nosed business mogul. “But what do you think of him?” I ask again, sighing a little.

  “I think he’s a good man, Sam. I think he’s honest, principled and fearless. I think you could do a whole lot worse.” He pauses for a beat and continues. “Trust me … if I didn’t think he was worthy of you I would not have been so welcoming to him this weekend.”

  “You were great, by the way. Thank you for that. Josh had a really good time yesterday; he enjoyed talking to you.”

  “I enjoyed it too,” he answers, and I can hear his smile. “He’s an interesting guy to talk to. And I meant what I said, he’s welcome anytime. I hope he takes me up on that.”

  We talk for just a few more minutes and then Lucas has to rush off to a meeting. But he assures me Martin will be waiting for me when I get to my apartment later today.

  I shower and dress quickly in a pair of jeans, a pink peasant top and my strappy pink Manolo Blahnik heels, and then dash out the door to my salon appointment. It feels a little strange getting my weekly mani-pedi without Megan and I wonder where she and Scott are and if they’re having a wonderful time. But thinking about Meg makes my mind wander back to the scene in Uncle Kenny’s kitchen on her wedding night and the horrible things my mother said. I haven’t heard a word from her since, and strangely enough, Lucas said he hasn’t either.

  Oddly, I wonder how she’s doing. She looked … sad, when she left that night. Remorseful? I don’t know. Maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see. Her words were hurtful to me and cruel to Josh, and she hasn’t even attempted to apologize to either one of us. Why would she apologize, Sam? She’s threatening to expose your boyfriend as a parent-killing monster if he doesn’t break up with you.

  I wish it didn’t have to be this way between us. I wish she could just let up on me a little bit. Just accept the fact that we’re two different people and that we want different things for my life. But mostly, I just want her to accept the fact that it is my life … and just allow me to live it the way I see fit.

  In the kitchen that night, she said that I’ve never cared about her opinion. I suppose she may right about that. I’ve never taken my mother’s opinion very seriously. But that’s only because her opinion was always so at odds with what I wanted. Whatever I wanted! Didn’t matter if it was what color dress to wear to dinner or what college I wanted to go to. We are always total opposites on everything! But if you didn’t care about her opinion, this whole thing wouldn’t hurt so much, Sam. My subconscious is right, of course. If I truly didn’t care, none of this would be an issue. She is my mother, and I hate the fact that our relationship is so ugly. Especially when I see Josh and Olivia; they are so sweet together. And Megan and Aunt Jenny.

  The thought makes me miss my dad again and I sit and think about him as I wait for my toenails to dry at the salon. If he were here right now, things would be so different. He always seemed to manage to bring Mom and me together somehow. I know that he would be incredibly disappointed at the state of our relationship.

  This line of thinking is getting me nowhere but, I can’t seem to stop myself. And the more I dwell on it, the angrier I become. By the time I leave the salon, I am seething. I get into my car with no particular plan in mind since I don’t have to meet Lola for another couple of hours. I drive, absentmindedly, thinking about my mother and how she tried to come between me and Josh. And I am only slightly startled when I look up twenty minutes later and find myself pulling into my mother’s driveway.

  I park the car and glance at the clock, knowing that she’ll be leaving to go have lunch at the club soon with her girlfriends. I take a deep breath as I exit the car and march to the front door with an air of determination. I’m greeted at the door by Juanita, mother’s maid, who smiles politely at me. But I don’t stop for our usual chitchat when I see my mother walk into the entryway wearing a puzzled expression.

  “Samantha?” Her voice is a mixture of concealed shock and polished sweetness. “Well, this is a pleasant surprise, darling, but I’m just about to leave for the club. Is everything all right?” She is dressed impeccably, as usual, in smart black and white Chanel suite and she looks beautiful. Beautifully wicked.

  “Yes, Mom. Everything is perfect,” I begin, my eyes never wavering from hers. “Don’t worry, I won’t keep you. I just stopped by to let you know that despite your best efforts at blackmail, and your attempt to come between me and Josh, things are great.”

  She sighs heavily and puts on her disappointed face. “Samantha, I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why are you always so dramatic?”

  “Really, Mom?” I stare at her in disbelief as my voice rises in anger. “You want to play this innocent game?”

  “What am I being vilified for now, Samantha?” she asks with a roll of her eyes. “What have I supposedly done to upset you this time?”

  “You are actually going to stand there and tell me that you didn’t try to blackmail Josh into leaving me?”

  She is silent for a few seconds. And then, “I never offered him a single cent,” she says with a nasty sneer.

  “Oh, but you would have if you thought he would have taken it,” I shoot back at her. “But why bother with trying to pay him to go away when you can just go for his jugular instead!” My words hit their mark and I watch as her mask of innocence falls.

  “Samantha, that man is a cold-blooded killer who murdered his own father,” she yells at me. “You can’t tell me…”

  “That is not true!” I scream at her, and my voice echoes through the large entryway we’re standing in. And I can see that my rage has taken my mother by surprise. She gapes at me with wide, startled eyes and appears genuinely shocked at the level of my fury. “Danny Pierce was a cruel, sadistic man who beat Josh and his mother on a daily basis. He tormented the two of them for Josh’s entire life. Josh was a scared, angry teenager who was backed into a corner that night, and he snapped! But he saved his mother’s life in the process. And you are an evil bitch for trying to use his pain against him!”

  My body is trembling
with anger and I can feel the unshed tears stinging my eyes as I continue to scream at her. “What is wrong with you? I don’t even know who you are. You say that you love me and you only want what’s best for me?”

  “I do love you, Samantha. The best of everything is all I have ever wanted for you, and that man is not it!”

  “Well, listen closely because I will not say this to you again,” I yell, pointing my finger at her to emphasize my point as the tears finally begin to fall. “You don’t ever get to decide what is best for me. We are done! Your little attempt to protect me from Joshua or to save me from myself has just blown up in your face. Because until you can respect the fact that this is my life and that I will decide how I want to live it, you are not welcome to be a part of it! Do you understand me? And if you do anything to hurt Josh’s job, I will never speak to you again!”

  “You don’t mean that, Samantha. You cannot cut me out of your life!”

  “Watch me!” I scream as I turn and stride to the door, opening it with a jerk and leaving it wide open as I exit and venture out to my car.

  *****

  I sit in my car in the parking lot of my apartment, feeling a myriad of emotions and not entirely certain about how I got here. I remember screeching out of my mother’s driveway, and I remember the tears. But I don’t remember much else about the drive back. Taking a deep breath, I reach into my glovebox and pull out a few tissues to dab at my eyes. Then I do a quick check of my face in the rearview mirror. Red and blotchy. Lovely.

  I roll my eyes at my reflection and grab my purse as I climb out of my car, trying to force thoughts of Mom from my mind and focusing on the task at hand. Part of me misses my place and all of my things. I definitely miss my studio. But another part of me truly dreads the thought of being here. I don’t want to be bombarded by memories and flashbacks of my attack and I know that I will be. It’s unavoidable. And with all I need to accomplish while I’m here today, I may be stuck for at least a few hours.