by A. E. Murphy
My hands grab the front of Leroy’s shirt and pull him tighter to me. He groans, twisting us so my hips are pinned between the table and his. His tongue enters my mouth and that’s new. The last time I kissed it wasn’t like this.
Soft, gentle hands creep down my body and I tense because I think they’re going to lift my dress, but instead they curve around my curves and lift me onto the table with an ease I never expected.
I squeal and automatically part my thighs. He slots himself between them and I feel him, all swollen and hot, nothing but my thong and his jeans separating us.
“Wait,” I say, pushing at his shoulders, inevitably slamming on the brakes.
He pulls back, panting, his lips plump and red from their assault. “You okay?”
“I… yeah but I need to stop,” I say, swallowing and glancing around the now empty room. “Where’s Joseph?”
“He bailed.” He reaches around me and takes another swig of his beer. When he offers some to me, I shake my head. “That was pretty fucking amazing.”
“It wasn’t bad,” I grin and rest my arms on his shoulders, “for my first time doing that with tongues. I’m not sure I like that.”
He blinks, dazed from my revelation. “You’ve never kissed anyone before?”
“Not like that.”
He pecks at my mouth and nips my lips again. “I couldn’t even tell. You’re a natural and now I just feel extra special.”
“You should. I don’t just kiss anyone.”
Smiling, he kisses me again and then presses his forehead to my collar bone. “You taste amazing.”
“You taste like beer,” I reply, making him laugh and kiss me again.
“Let me make you feel good.” He drags his fingers up my thighs, stopping at the edge of my dress.
“My first time is not going to be on a snooker table with a guy I hardly know.”
His answering smile is contagious. I really am drunk. “We don’t have to have sex for me to blow your mind.”
“Not here,” I reply, looking around the room. “Not now. I’m too drunk to be making these kinds of decisions.”
“Then let me make the decision for you.” He presses his mouth to mine again, this time more forcefully than before.
“I said no,” I snap and shove him harder this time.
“I was just playing.” He steps back into me and lifts my hands back onto his shoulders. “I’d never force you to do something you didn’t want to do. That’s not my style.”
This time I rest my forehead on his collar bone and wish I hadn’t drunk so much. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He tilts my head back with his hand in my hair and kisses me sweetly this time.
With a loud bang, the door hits the wall and Dillan moves into the room.
“We’re going.” He grabs my bicep after clearing the distance in a few long strides.
“What the fuck, man?” Leroy yells when Dillan shoves him away from me.
“We’re going,” he responds, helping me down from the snooker table and pulling the bottom of my dress down to make me decent.
“She doesn’t want to go yet.” Leroy grabs my other bicep. “What’s your problem, Dillan?”
“No, I should.” I pull myself free of both of their grasps and steady my core. “I’m drunk. I drank too much. I literally can’t see my nose right now.”
“Don’t you mean feel your nose?” Dillan sighs.
“Right, that too.”
“Come on.” He places his jacket around my shoulders. “Let’s get you home.”
“See you later, guys. Thank you for an amazing night.” Leroy seems too angry with Dillan right now to follow. Or maybe he’s angry with me?
“Dillan, the major cockblocker!” Joseph laughs as I walk through the house back the way we came.
“Fuck off, Joseph,” Dillan snarls. I’ve never heard him swear before. It’s so sexy. I bet it’s the first time he’s sworn in his whole life.
“Where are you going?” Leona’s friend whines, following closely behind, and I wonder where Leona is.
“Home.” Dillan keeps pulling me forward towards the exit.
“But you only just got here!” She steps in front of us and stops Dillan in his tracks, giving me the side eye. “Where’s Leona? Does she know you’re leaving?”
“We’ve been here for hours,” I slur, pointing at the clock on the wall.
“Forty-five minutes,” Dillan whispers in my ear and I hear the smile in his voice.
“Well, crap. I suck. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he chuckles and holds me tightly to his side, then, with a darkening look, he says to Leona’s friend, “Leona is aware I’m going.”
“You’re seriously ditching Leona for her?” Leona’s friend’s mouth falls open. I need to at least try and remember names in future. Was I even introduced?
“Why is that such unbelievable?” I ask, irritated by her insult. “I’m fabulous.”
Dillan laughs his sexy, deep laugh and leads me around her. “Come on, Fabulous.”
“Wait… I said such instead of so, didn’t I?”
“Yep.”
“I’m so tipsy right now.” I lean into him, pressing my temple against his shoulder. “My arms are tingling.”
He opens the car door and puts his hand on my head to stop me banging it on the roof of his car.
“And my cheeks feel weird.”
“Shut your eyes,” he insists.
“No, because I feel sick when I do that.”
“Okay then maybe don’t shut your eyes.”
“I’m cold,” I say and he immediately turns the heating on. “Can I hug you?”
“Sure.”
I shift closer to him and lean over the console. My arms wrap around his and my temple rests against his shoulder.
“I am so sorry,” I say quietly as my eyes close. “I didn’t mean to ruin your night.”
“You didn’t; don’t be daft.”
The car begins to move as I continue to nuzzle his warmth.
“I think I made out with Leroy,” I say softly and I feel him tense.
“Do you even like him? I know I asked already but I need a straight answer.”
“He’s a good kisser.”
His body becomes concrete and the air in the car feels even cooler. “That wasn’t my question.”
“Oh.” I peer up at him through my thick, painted lashes. “What’s your question?”
“Do you like him?”
“I don’t know.”
He sighs. “Why would you kiss him if you don’t know if you like him?”
“I do like him. Just not like I like you, I guess.” I smack his thigh. “It really, really sucks that you don’t like me like that, but I get it. Leona is so pretty. You guys look great together. Like one day when you have babies they’re going to be so good looking.”
“You’re ridiculous and stop saying sucks; you’re not American.”
“I wish I were.”
“You’re nuts.”
I smile to myself and nuzzle his arm again. “You’re my best friend. Actually… you’re my only friend.” I sit up to look at him. “Am I that awful that everyone hates me?”
“Nobody hates you.”
I stare out of the window; my eyes are tingling. Am I going to cry? Am I becoming one of those emotional drunks?
“Sometimes I hate me,” I murmur and look back at the man of my desires. “Like right now, I wish I didn’t kiss Leroy but I just wanted to forget that you were in another room making out with Leona.” My fingers go to my throat as I pretend to vomit.
He laughs and opens his arm. “Come here you knob head.” I snuggle back into him. “I really like you, Ty, but…”
“I know. I understand.” Yep, I’m going to cry.
“No, you don’t.” He squeezes me. “We need to talk about that.” Is he going to ditch me? Is he sick of me pining after him?
Nope. No, he’s not because I’m a genius. “I have an
idea!” I slap his chest and sit up straight.
His smile shines through the darkness, “What?”
“Make a left turn!”
“Here?”
“Duh!”
“Where exactly are we going?”
“Left,” I order, pointing across his face. “Just go with the flow, Dillan, and follow me.”
I wake up on my bed; my mouth won’t close and when I try, my gum hurts. My hands touch my face, sticky from some kind of substance which seems to cover my cheeks and my fingers.
I spit out the stick in my mouth that’s making my gum hurt, which turns out to be a toothbrush, then I try to sit up but I’m stuck beneath a warm, hard body. Somebody’s warm breath tickles my ear and hair. Swallowing, I wet my dry lips and dare to peek at the imposter who has me pinned to my mattress with a hand across my middle and a leg tangled between mine.
“Dillan?” I whisper when my eyes find his handsome face. He doesn’t stir; he’s completely out. His cheek is squished against my mattress, making his lips form a peculiar shape. I admire them for a moment, despite their odd appearance. The urge to kiss them makes me stop breathing and then, upon further inspection, I notice a fading red, shiny substance smeared across his cheek, as well as a white powder.
I sniff, hoping to figure out what it is from a distance. I can’t catch anything so I lean in closer. He smells sweet, like raspberries and powdered sugar.
My mind retraces the memories of the night before. I remember us visiting a certain doughnut place and buying way more doughnuts than even we could manage.
I recall us throwing two at a car that cut us off and then speeding away giggling like lunatics.
We made it to my house and I dragged him to my room, where we found my left-over vodka and I convinced him to drink some, promising him my bed instead of the floor. I walked to my bedroom door, doughnut in hand, and locked it, placing pillows at the bottom for extra noise protection. He watched my every move intently and I wondered what he was thinking, especially as he seemed to gulp the vodka down as though it was water. He was seeking courage at the bottom of the bottle as we laughed, joked and play fought on my bed, careful not to alert my parents yet also almost too drunk to care. Snapping from my thoughts, I look down at our bodies and blink as I remember his hands on the bottom of my dress, lifting it gently, slowly, taking his time as he peeled it from my body. Up and over my head it came. I was almost naked, wearing nothing but a black lace bra and a matching thong. I felt so sexy. My hair cascaded around my shoulders when I pulled out the clips and shook it with my hands.
His eyes, they were dark as they took me in, mirroring my own.
“I…” He swallowed, his lip disappearing behind his teeth as he bit it with a no doubt painful force. “I should go.”
“Stay.” I wetted my lips with my tongue, finding sugar there from the last treat I had eaten in the car. I was covered in it. It had fallen onto my breasts and I moved my hand to wipe it away as I stared down at the twinkling white powder across the curves of what made me sexy.
“Don’t.” He snatched my hand out of the air and held it in place, hovering between us, his thumb pressing deeply into the palm of my hand.
“Why?” I frowned, annoyed that I wasn’t allowed to clean myself.
Then he did something that I was not expecting, something that set me alight so badly I almost crumbled to the ground.
He dipped his head and touched the top of my breast with his tongue, tasting me and the sugar, swiping it away.
“Dillan,” I whispered, surprised by his confusing change in demeanour.
Then his tongue moved from my breast. It travelled up as a hand dug its fingers into my hip to bring our bodies together. My skin was aflame; I’d never felt so hot. Even now, at just the thought of it, I spasm below with the feeling it brings.
He tasted me one more time before nipping at my jaw with his teeth. My legs began to move as he walked me backwards carefully to the door, still hidden in the crook of my neck. I needed to see his eyes; I needed to see his motives, his agenda, what he wanted, how he felt.
I couldn’t let myself be hopeful. I couldn’t let myself want and reciprocate, not until I knew he meant it.
Then they finally hit mine, his lips, they tasted mine and I finally got to taste them. After releasing my hand, he gripped me around my back, holding me tightly to him, as tightly as could be, regardless of the fact I was already pinned between his warm, hard body and the door.
“I can’t resist you anymore,” he said quietly, pulling back and staring intently into my eyes. “I want you.”
He wanted me. My breath hitched and my heart skipped a beat. I grabbed him wherever I could and pulled his face back to mine. I kissed him hard, devouring him as he did the same.
He tasted amazing, sweet from the sugar and sweet just because he’s Dillan.
My fingers found the buttons of his shirt, grateful that he’d already shed his jacket and tie. I fumbled with the buttons, my hands trembling, my body needy and weak.
We kissed forever yet not for long enough.
“Wait,” I stopped him, still dizzy from the alcohol and even more so from his kiss.
He pulled back, curious looking with swollen lips and messy hair from where I grabbed it.
“Didn’t you just say we had no chemistry?”
He blinked, looking unsure, and I wish I knew why.
“How can we go from having no chemistry to making out half-naked in my bedroom?”
He shrugged. “Am I allowed to be wrong?”
I shrugged too. “Yeah, sure.” Then I grabbed him and yanked him back to me. Talking wasn’t going to happen anymore. I was willing to lose everything pure about myself in that one moment. I wanted to lay myself bare on my bed. I wanted him to push inside of me, to be my first, to erase my sexual naivety.
He didn’t disappoint. He kissed me harder, deeper. His tongue entered my mouth and my door rattled with the force of his lust. It was as if he wanted to take me into himself. I’m not sure how much closer he thought he could get, but he tried. His breathing became as erratic as his movements. I wondered if he was as nervous as I was. My heart was fluttering painfully and when I reached for his belt, he shook off his shirt, dropping it on the carpet. A brief pause allowed me to rid him of the leather strap that guarded his manhood from my first caress.
My hands shook as I unlatched the button from its grip and then dipped my hand into his trousers. I wanted to watch what I was doing but I didn’t want him to stop kissing me. His stomach muscles rippled against my arm and he tensed when I finally slid my hand into the unknown and found him with my fingers. He felt nothing like what I imagined, a lot harder and warmer than I ever concluded from pictures of penises and regular daydreaming. I gripped him. He was velvet over steel and so soft on the surface.
His lips left mine and his forehead touched my own. I peered at his closed eyes and nudged his nose with my own.
“I don’t want to do this wrong,” I whispered, still nervous and unable to move my hand beyond the vice like grip of his length. He was bigger than I thought. I never really thought about size before now because I figured I’d never be lucky enough to actually touch an above average one. I was now and I was intimidated. I didn’t know what to do.
He sucked my lower lip into his mouth and pulled my hand from his trousers. “Me neither.” We turned and he guided me backwards once more until I felt the bed against my legs.
Lowering me onto it, he nudged my chin with his nose, sucking at the delicate skin just beneath. I wished I could do the same to him but I never got the chance as when he stopped, he just started kissing me and I forgot because fuck, he started kissing me!
We crawled up the bed, still attached at the lips, laughing when he almost lost his balance as the mattress dipped on the right.
I’m not sure how or when but he shed his boxers on the way up here and situated himself between my thighs. I pulled the blanket over us, unable to watch and wishing I’d t
urned out the light. He stared between us and I felt him tap against me. My body jolted and suddenly panic set in. I was about to lose my virginity. This was huge. I became terrified.
I gulped and covered my eyes with my arm, scared as he leaned on one arm and used his free hand to wet himself with my arousal and find his mark.
“Hey,” he whispered and nudged my arm away. I looked at him, breathing heavily and ragged. “We don’t have to do this.”
“What?” I cried, even more panicked than before. “Are you kidding? Just get it over with for crying out loud; you’re making me wait and it’s making me more nervous.”
He snorted and kissed the tip of my nose, a gesture so sweet it made my eyes water. “Don’t look away from me.”
Stretching, burning, aching, all of these things happened at once, then a peculiar pop which made us both wince. It didn’t hurt; it just felt weird. I’m assuming that was my virginity.
Then it began and all worries melted away, regardless of the discomfort, when he began to thrust. It began to burn in a way that was no longer bad and was every part good.
I moaned breathily as he finally sank all the way inside and collapsed onto me trembling. His face vanished into my neck and I tickled his spine with my fingertips as we both adjusted to this new feeling. The tingling was insane. I needed him to move; I needed him to tease the flame into a roaring fire, so I dug my feet into the mattress and pushed up against him, forcing him even deeper than before.
“Nope,” he said, shaking his head. I felt his lips against my neck. “Nuh-uh.”
“Nuh-uh?” I question. That’s a new one.
“No, nope, no,” he chanted, burying his hand between my back and the mattress to hold me so tight I couldn’t breathe, let alone move.
“Are you okay?” I giggled, wriggling beneath him to try and free myself from his grip if only a little.
“Don’t move, don’t speak, don’t breathe, don’t… literally, don’t do anything…”
“Why?”
“Don’t.”
“Yeah, but why?” Didn’t he understand that I needed this? I needed him to move. He’d given me a sample of how he feels inside of me and now he was teasing me with it. I couldn’t cope. I was becoming desperate.