by A. E. Murphy
“You feel…” He trailed off, pulling his hips back less than a fraction and then stopping.
“What?” I pushed, horrified by the thought that I felt bad. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“Definitely not hurt.” He finally lifted his head and smiled at me. The way he smiled, it was as if I was the most beautiful thing in the world to him. It was a smile he’d never graced me with before then. I wanted to wake up to it every day for the rest of my life. I still do. “You’re just so… warm and…” He tensed his length inside of me, making it jump, making me groan with need. “Tight and perfect. I never thought it would feel this intense.”
“Right?” I agreed, raising my chin so he’d kiss me again. He didn’t disappoint. I pushed up against him again, eager to continue with the deflowering. “That feels so much better than I thought it would. Or maybe it’s just you.”
He smiled again.
“Please, Dillan,” I begged breathily. My eyes closed softly and my hands drifted up his back to his shoulders. I pulled him back down against me, my bra digging into his skin and my own. We forgot to take it off; I didn’t care but if I was going to do this I wanted the full experience, so even with us still attached, I sat up a little, unclipped my bra at the front and manoeuvred my arms from it.
Dillan stared down at my chest, his eyes hungry. I pulled him to me once more, shy from his view and also looking forward to the feel of our naked chests together.
“Ah!” he cried loudly in my ear and just as he swelled and began to throb, his hips began to piston as quickly as an electric hammer. I sighed with relief as he finally began to move but, unfortunately, he was moving not because we were actually having sex but because he’d finished.
His moans were amazing. He grated out my name through tight lips and a clenched jaw, his body jerking and spasming with quiet moans and grunts. If he’d just lasted another few seconds I’d have probably joined him in his climax. I’d never felt so tingly as I did then.
“I am so sorry,” he murmured, hiding his face in my hair. “I am mortified.”
“Don’t be.” I grinned, grabbing the back of his hair with my fist and lifting his head from its hiding spot. “Just regroup and we’ll go again.”
But we didn’t regroup. We fell asleep after eating more donuts, while I was attempting to brush my teeth in bed avoiding the subject of what just happened, and now here we are. I blow out a heavy breath before I spontaneously combust.
My body is sore; it’s achy and it’s wonderful. I’m tangled up with a guy I have liked for far too long. I’m on cloud nine. I lost my virginity and it really wasn’t as bad as what people make out.
It’d have been nicer if it had lasted longer but I’m not complaining.
I stare down at his crumpled lips and wonder if now we’ve done this, does that mean I get to kiss him anytime I want to?
I test the theory and bravely press my lips to his. His eyes snap open and blink slowly as I pull back.
“Hey,” he whispers, looking directly at me. Then he gives me that smile, the same smile he gave me last night, the one that has to be just for me and nobody else. “Some night, huh?”
“Some night?” I quirk a brow and smirk. “I think it was a little more than that, don’t you?”
The curtains glow brighter as the sun rises in the sky.
“It was incredible,” he murmurs and rolls onto me even more.
Our naked bodies entwine. I feel him harden against my hip and turn to face him.
“Again?” I ask, too nervous to kiss him without him instigating it.
He answers by grabbing my thigh with his hand and hitching my leg over his hip. I gasp when he pushes against me, teasing gently, ensuring my level of natural lubrication before even trying to gain entry.
Kissing me again, he finally does it, sinking slowly into me. It throbs a little from the night before but soon that throb becomes something more potent, more enjoyable.
“Oh my god,” he hisses in my ear, shuddering as I clench around him.
“Are you okay?” I ask, teasing the hair at the base of his head.
“I umm… I need to say something before we go on.” He rests on his arms on either side of my head.
“Really?” Is he going to withhold from me the pleasure I’m desperately craving? “Right now?” He smiles and kisses the very tip of my nose. “You couldn’t find a better time?”
“Shut up,” he sniggers and pushes deeply into me. Wow.
“Can’t you just make me come first and then give me the low down on how,” I lower my voice a few octaves and look away as I mimic his voice the best I can, “this was a vodka fuelled error. I like Leona, so please let’s stay friends all the while keeping this a dirty little secret.”
He tenses and his entire body becomes a tan, meaty rod of fleshy steel. “That’s what you want?”
“Of course not, but it’s inevitable.” I shrug and trace the space under his eyes with the pads of my thumbs. “In reality I want this to last forever, but no pressure. I understand. I just want you to know that I’m ready for your rejection and I…”
“I’m in love with you.” He states it simply, as though naming the colour of my hair.
My heart stops. “What?”
“I’m in love with you,” he repeats, watching my face, his eyes flooded with anxiety.
“Since when?”
“Since…” The wheels turn in his eyes. “I don’t know; I just know I am.”
“How? I thought you didn’t like me like that?”
His sweet smile warms me from my head to my core, which is still holding tight to his length, hoping he’ll fuck me already. “The problem was I liked you too much. I just didn’t realise it until it was almost too late.”
“Well this is a revelation I wasn’t expecting.” I bite on my lip and slide my hands from his face to his shoulders.
“You don’t have to feel the same,” he continues. “And I’m sorry for everything I said the other day. I wasn’t trying to insult you; I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t feel this way.”
“What about Leona?”
“I ended it last night.”
My heart does a happy little jolt and before I can stop myself I slant my lips over his in a kiss that’s painful and deep. “You’re not kidding are you?” I ask breathlessly, shoving him until we’re rolled onto our sides, still connected in the best way. “You mean it?”
“Yes.”
“I feel as though I’m dreaming.” I might cry. “Stuff like this just doesn’t happen to girls like me.”
“Ty,” he chuckles, tickling my thigh with his fingers. “You are fucking beautiful.”
“You just said fucking.”
He ignores me. “You’re sexy, you’re confident, you’re sweet, considerate, kind… you’re everything I need and more than what I ever wanted. If you feel even a fraction of the same way, I promise I’ll never treat you again like I have done in the past, or I’ll do my best not to.”
“Are you saying you want to be with me?” I’m definitely dreaming. “As in boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” I nod, still grinning with a joy I can’t contain. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
He kisses me with smiling lips and finally starts to do his thing after rolling me back onto my back.
I groan when his happy kisses become sensual ones, slow and determined. His hips circle, putting pressure on all of the right areas, making the tingle I feel spread like fire through gasoline. I’m engulfed in the flames. My nails dig into his back and my heels dig into the mattress.
When his pace quickens, my eyes roll back into my head. I’ve never felt anything like this. I’m dying from pleasure. Is that even possible?
The burning seems to gather in the pit of my stomach. The sounds I make I can’t control as it starts. He pushes deeper, grabbing my shoulder to hold me in place as he thrusts.
“Dillan,” I mewl desperately. “I�
� It’s…”
Every single cell in my body tenses and his mouth covers mine to silence my cries as my orgasm hits me in waves, each one making me jerk and jolt. He joins me, growling into my mouth as his hips go even faster. I have a feeling my thighs are going to hurt later but I don’t care.
“Wow,” I sigh when he collapses onto me, breathing heavily. “I can hear your heart beating…or maybe that’s mine.”
“Both.” I feel his chest shake with silent laughter. “What’s so funny?”
“I’m not a virgin anymore. I now know what sex is.”
“And that’s funny because?”
“I don’t know. I just feel… happy about it I guess.”
I frown and grab the back of his hair so I can find his eyes, “You’re not just in love with me because you’re inside of me, right?”
“No, I’d be in love with you with or without this,” he promises, his brows furrowing with sincerity. “Though preferably with.”
“Oh hell yeah,” I agree. “I’m not sure I want to stop.”
“Then don’t.” He wags his eyebrows.
“We have to. My parents are going to be up any minute now.”
“I’d forgotten about them.”
I mentally curse when I hear somebody’s footsteps in the hall and then mentally laugh when my dad farts loudly, ruining the romantic moment. We both stifle our laughter in each other’s necks.
“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out.” I say softly and push him off me. “Let’s just wait until my dad leaves.”
“Good plan. What about your mum?”
“If my mum catches you, she’ll be more forgiving and more likely to believe any spun tales.” I stand, keeping the blanket around me. It’s funny how I’ve given my body to him yet I’m still too shy to bare all.
“Where are you going?” He asks, his voice quiet.
“For a shower. I stink of sex and I’ve got something going on between my thighs that I don’t even want to think about.”
“Nice,” he chuckles and rolls onto his front, showing me his amazing back and arse. “I’ll be napping until you’re done.”
I tiptoe into the bathroom, dropping the blanket on the ground just outside of the door. Then, completely nude, I stand in front of the mirror by my sink and look at my body. I have little bruises here and there from random events. I have stretchmarks on the top of my thighs that I hate; that’s from all the weight I’ve lost. My breasts aren’t as big as they used to be but they’re still perky and big. I like them.
None of my body looks different from yesterday. Apart from the fact I’m a little bit flushed, it’s exactly the same. Yet it feels different. I feel like a woman. I feel as though I’ve stepped out of my body and into a new one.
He loves me. He’s mine.
I don’t know how or why this happened but I’m so happy.
Dillan showers after me and I take the moment to get dressed and figure out damage control. My dad has left for work and I’m hoping he didn’t notice Dillan’s car in the driveway. If he did, I hope he thinks he stayed in the spare room. I can’t stand to be grounded, not now.
Pushing open my bedroom door, I creep into the hallway and click the door shut behind me. Mum still isn’t up thankfully and Dad has definitely gone, so I head to the kitchen and find breakfast for both of us.
I opt for eggs because they’re easy and we need protein after last night.
Once they’re in a pan on the stove, swimming in bubbling water, I skip back upstairs and head into the spare room. Dillan leaves my room and I call for him to join me.
“What are you doing?” He laughs quietly when he sees me rolling around in the bed like a dog rubbing its scent on grass.
“You need to do this,” I demand, moving towards him and throwing him onto the bed. “You need to make it look like you slept in it.”
“Why?”
“My dad saw your car.”
He winces. “Oops. I forgot I drove here.”
“Yup. So make it look like you slept in it and then meet me downstairs. Okay?”
After he salutes me, I exit the room, clicking the door shut behind me.
Downstairs I prepare the eggs, cooling them under the cold tap and then peeling them carefully in a bowl of water. As I’m cutting them into quarters on a plate, I jump with surprise when I feel Dillan’s arms sneak around my midriff.
He lifts his phone as his teeth nip at my ear and captures us in the front screen.
“Did you just take a selfie?” I ask, frowning.
“I don’t want to forget the moment we had sex and you made me breakfast.”
Snort. “You’re an idiot.”
“I am. I should have realised sooner and not wasted so much time.”
“Yeah, well… you can make it up to me.”
Mum clears her throat loudly from behind us. Neither of us heard her enter so both of us jump. How much did she hear? I begin to perspire from the panic.
“Morning, Dillan.” She smiles and looks at his hand still on my hip.
“Morning,” he responds, smiling nervously.
“Been for a run?” She asks and I inwardly curse at my own stupidity. My parents are used to seeing him here this early. We didn’t have to mess up the spare bed; we could have just said he left last night and came back this morning for our usual jog.
“Not today.” I show her the plate of boiled eggs. “Want some breakfast?”
“I’ll pass.” She looks between us both again. “Everything okay?”
“Yes,” we both chant. “You seem nervous.”
“No, we’re fine,” I say at the same time that Dillan says, “All good here.”
Her lips twitch. “Well, okay. I’ll leave you both to it. I promised your mum I’d organise a day with the horses, so I’ll go and call your grandparents. You two stay out of trouble.”
“Okay.” I wait for her to leave before finally breathing again. “If she suspects, she’s not letting on.”
“It’ll be fine,” he reassures me, turning and hooking his arms around me as I still balance the plate on one hand. “It’s not like we’re doing something illegal, Ty.”
“I know, but I don’t want to upset them.”
“Understandable.” He kisses me and I can’t help but think back to my earlier thoughts about being allowed to kiss him whenever I want.
“What took you so long?” I murmur against his mouth, hooking my fingers around the top of his trousers to hold him to me.
“Just promise me one thing.”
“Anything.”
“Don’t go near Leroy anymore.”
Blink. “I won’t kiss him again, if that’s what you mean.”
His green-grey eyes darken. “That’ll do, I guess.” He scowls. “I don’t like the way he looks at you.” His eyes become dangerous. “Or the way he talks about you or to you.” Then he kisses me again, melting me into oblivion. “The sooner he finds out you’re my girl, the better.”
“Whatever,” I sigh, raising my mouth to his again. “I don’t owe him anything.” Then I frown and add, “Though I don’t want people thinking I was your side piece while you were with Leona.”
“They won’t and, if they do, what does it matter? In a few months, we’ll be away from all of that, studying and partying like crazy.”
He’s so optimistic; this all feels too good to be true.
After we finish breakfast, we head into the garden with mugs full of tea and sit on the lounge chairs. It’s a little bit chilly so Dillan pulls his chair to mine and we lie side by side, hip to hip.
“Are you sure this is what you want? It just feels so surreal. We’ve gone from no chemistry to having the best sex I’ll likely ever have.”
“Best sex, huh?” He grins, pushing his arm under my neck and pulling my head to his chest. He kisses my hair and sighs. “But in all seriousness, this is what I want. Is it what you want?”
“Duh, did my pining after you for months not show you that?”
H
e kisses me again. I tilt my head back to meet his lips and find his eyes, soft with a kind of peace I’ve not seen in him before. I wonder if this look is just for me and nobody else.
“Let’s nap.”
“Agreed.” I snuggle into him, hook my leg over his thighs and drift into my own kind of peace that is saved solely for him.
When I wake, still in Dillan’s arms, I notice that the sun, though it warms the area, doesn’t seem to be touching us. I peek up at the shadow looming over us and immediately recognise it to be a large sun parasol, one used for the table and chairs.
I push out all my limbs, feeling the aches in my bones and muscles, only getting a small reprieve when they click and stretch. Dillan joins me, stirring from his nap. He nuzzles the side of my face, causing me to giggle.
“That tickles.” I push him away and sit up. I’m directly over the crack that separates our lounge chairs; that explains why my bum is catching a draft. “I think Mum came out here to protect us from the sun.”
He opens his eyes a crack and grins when he sees the parasol. “Your mum is ace.”
“She has her moments.”
“Well at least we don’t have to tell her we’re together.”
“She’ll probably still give me one of those awkward conversations that parents feel are necessary. As if we don’t already know everything at our age.”
Laughing, he kisses my cheek and stands, ducking under the edge of the parasol so he has space to stretch and yawn. His phone vibrates on the ground by the lounger, where it must have fallen out of his pocket. I pick it up for him and hold it out.
“It’s your dad.”
“Thanks.” He takes it and puts the phone to his ear. “Hey, Dad.” Pause. “Yeah, I guess so. Can I bring Tyler?” He smiles at me when his dad says something on the phone. “I grovelled; we’re good.” He winks. I smile and lie back on the lounger, keeping hold of his eyes as he continues his conversation. “You could say that. No, I promise we’ll pay attention to her.” To who? “I swear, I wouldn’t do that. You know I wouldn’t.” He laughs at something else his dad says and then finishes. “We’ll be there in a couple of hours. Love you too.”