by Sam Crescent
Could it really be anything else?
She didn’t know. There was no way she could think it would be anything else.
Then, of course, this was the first Saturday morning where Drew had woken up first. He’d made breakfast of toast, not burned this time, but he’d also ordered a picnic to be delivered to the house.
“Do you think it’s wise I go out with you?”
“You’re my nanny.”
“And you’re perfectly capable of taking care of your daughter.”
“Do you not want to come?”
“I do, of course I do.” She blew out a breath. “It’s the people out there I’ve got a problem with.”
“I don’t ever remember you really caring about what people think. Don’t worry about them. They’ve got their own lives to fuck up and we’ve got ours. Are you really going to let Meghan down?”
“I’m trying to think practically.”
“Meghan!” Drew smiled at her but it wasn’t a pleasant look. No, this was the look of someone who had a plan, and she knew she wasn’t going to like it.
Meghan came downstairs. She wore a pair of denim shorts and a sunshine-yellow crop top.
“Yes, Daddy?”
“Tell Callie you want her to come to the park with us. We want her. She doesn’t think we want her.”
“We do. We want you a lot,” Meghan said. “You’ve got to come. Please, Callie, please.”
She rolled her eyes. “That was mean.”
“No, that was fighting fire with fire and oh, yeah, I totally won this round.”
Without arguing, she followed them out of the house and climbed into the car. The park was only a short drive but Drew clearly didn’t want to carry the picnic. There were still plenty of parking spaces, and she saw the park was busy. Families had already descended.
Drew climbed out of the car. She held Meghan’s hand while he carried the picnic basket toward their destination. She lifted her hand up and peered around, trying to find a good spot.
Drew took the lead and Meghan swung their arms high and then down.
“You look pretty today, Callie,” Meghan said.
“Thank you, sweetie. So do you.” She wore a pale-blue sundress with little yellow flowers on it. It was light, airy, and with the sun beaming down on them, it was nice and refreshing.
Drew found a spot near some shade. There was still plenty of room. He opened up the basket and put the blanket down. Following Meghan, they sat down on the ground.
Callie couldn’t help but check to see if anyone was paying them any attention. She’d been to picnics with families before but this was different. This was intimate. There was only the three of them. No mother in sight. After Drew’s revelation last night, she was glad Tilly was nowhere to be seen. She’d hated her in high school and now even more so.
Drew surprised her as he pulled out a coloring book and crayons for Meghan, who took them and started to color immediately.
She leaned back, watching Meghan, putting her dress modestly over her thighs. “Do you come out to picnics often?”
“No, this is our first one. Before you came along, Meghan enjoyed watching movies all night.”
“Ah, that explains why you were so tired.”
“Yes, in a short time, you’ve brought order to my chaotic world,” he said. He reached over and rested his hand against hers.
She looked up, expecting to see judging eyes, but there was nothing.
“Stop worrying. You need to learn to relax.”
“Easier said than done.” She nibbled on her lip. “Sorry, I shouldn’t say anything.”
“No, you can say whatever it is you want. I don’t mind. You’ll relax one way or another.”
“How can you be so calm?”
“Easy, I know I’m not breaking any rules.”
“But I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
“This is my life, Drew.”
“And what if I want to be part of that life?” he asked. “Will you spend yours moving from home to home, getting attached to kids only for them to be pulled away from you? Is that really the kind of life you want?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“That professor took a lot from you.”
“I’m a good nanny.”
“But it wasn’t what you wanted to be,” he said.
“I don’t know what I wanted to be.”
“I do. I looked it up in the yearbook.”
“The yearbook?”
“Yep. You wanted to be a counselor. You wanted to help kids, and I’m guessing you wanted to provide the next generation with the help you didn’t get.”
“I put that in the yearbook?”
“Yes. Tell me this professor’s name.”
She shook her head. “It’s in the past. I’m not going to let it affect my future.”
“But it is. You’re not in a school right now helping those kids that need you.”
“I don’t need to be in a school to help kids. I’m helping your daughter right now.” Meghan was off in her own little world without a single worry in her mind. She wished she could be like that. Lost, alone in her thoughts, and not out here with Drew where he made it impossible to ignore him.
He locked their fingers together. “What would you do if I was to kiss you right now?”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” he asked.
“Don’t kiss me. Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
“When are you going to learn, Callie? It’s only as hard as you make it. You can kiss me.”
“I’ll get fired.”
“And I’ll take care of you.”
“But what happens when you get bored? When you move on from the rebound girl, what happens then? Don’t forget you’re still married. What we’re doing, it will affect your divorce.”
“No, it won’t.”
“Don’t be so delusional, Drew. There’s more at stake here than you realize.” She got to her feet. “Meghan, I think it’s time we went to play on the swings. Do you want to?” she asked.
Callie had to get away. The temptation he offered was so strong and she needed to be stronger, to not fall for him, to not fall for the possibilities of a future with him.
Chapter Eight
Drew wasn’t happy.
He’d found the professor.
Tapping his pen on the desk, he considered the number for a contact right in front of him. The phone just sat near the edge of his desk. He could pick it up, make the call, and he’d set some wheels in motion.
Callie wanted him.
He saw it in her eyes but she was also afraid, and he got that. He understood it.
This chemistry between them, it shook him to his very core as well. If he’d known what it would feel like to have her belong to him, he’d have been all over her in high school.
“It would seem you’re a damn good lawyer,” Callum said. “All charges were dropped on your delinquent. No case to answer to. His parents called. A nice bonus for you, believe me.” His brother sat down. “Why are you not happy?”
“I knew the outcome, Callum. Nothing to be happy about. I got an asshole free rein to be an asshole again. Nothing to celebrate.”
“What’s your problem?” Callum asked.
“Nothing.”
His brother got up and walked around the desk. Drew made no move to hide it. “Why are you glaring at the picture of a professor?”
“Because he’s the one who pushed Callie out of college.” The words slipped from his mouth.
“This thing with Callie, it’s getting serious.”
Drew didn’t say anything.
“Drew, talk to me.”
“Nothing to talk about.”
“What did this professor do?”
He gave him a shortened-down version of what he knew.
Callum whistled. “Maybe you want to think about why you wish to tear this man’s head off,” he said.
“I know why
I want to. I don’t need you to analyze me right now.”
“What do you need from me then?”
“I don’t know, to tell me I shouldn’t go and beat the crap out of this guy.”
“You really shouldn’t. For one, you’re a lawyer, and second, you’re not in high school anymore. Do you think you don’t deserve to have your ass beaten for what you did?”
“I’m not disputing that, but come on, this guy needs it. What if he’s hurting other girls?”
“It says he’s retired.” Callum sat back in his chair.
Drew tapped his finger against the counter.
“This woman is certainly not like Tilly.”
“No, she’s not.” He ran his fingers through his hair.
“Do you want to let her go?”
“No!” He growled the word and glared at his brother. “Stop with all the deep and meaningful bullshit. I’m not going to lose Callie.”
“If you beat the shit out of this professor, you will.”
“It’ll make me feel better.”
“I’m going to bite. Why?” Callum asked.
Drew was silent.
“I took a psychology course back in college. A long time ago but it has served me well with my kids. I’m going to impart some of my wisdom here.”
“You’re not a psychiatrist, Callum. I don’t need you to do your voodoo on me or anything.” He slumped back in his chair.
“Yeah, and I don’t listen to you, so I’m going to go ahead with this.” Callum cleared his throat. “You’re after this professor because of your own guilt. Callie has gotten under your skin. You two aren’t strangers. You’re enemies, at least you were back in high school. She was the nerd, and you were the jock. You were an asshole to her. You’re wanting to beat up the professor because you can’t beat the shit out of yourself.”
Drew glared at his brother.
“I’m totally right. You see, this is why I’m awesome.”
“How does Leah put up with you?” he asked.
“Simple, her head is way bigger than mine. We complement each other.”
He shook his head. “I don’t need you to spin this any way. I need you to leave this well enough alone.”
“I can do that, but it’s not going to do you any good.”
“Why?”
“Simple, you’ve got to put the past to bed. I bet Callie’s working on it.”
“I’m sure she spends every waking minute of her day trying to figure out a reason why she shouldn’t be working for me.”
“Do you love her?”
Drew stared at his brother.
“Have you ever been in love?” Callum asked.
“You know I haven’t.”
“Perhaps you need to consider your feelings for Callie before you making any more rash decisions.” Callum got to his feet. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts. I’m going to head back to my office where I can talk to a brick wall with more conversation than you.”
He had no doubt Callum was going to talk to Leah. When he couldn’t think of how to fix something, his brother always went back to his wife.
Drew didn’t move for the longest time. Beating up an older man, it didn’t appeal. Rather than pick up the phone, he closed down his computer, grabbed his files, and called it a day. He rarely left the office before seven lately. He’d felt guilty with all the time he’d had off and was showing his fellow colleagues that he could keep up with them, work his ass off, and be one of them. Even with a child to take care of.
Meghan was still in the bath when he returned home. He placed his briefcase by the door and made his way upstairs to where Callie was bathing his kid. She sat on the toilet as Meghan played in the bath. Neither saw him watching them.
“Callie?” Meghan said.
“Yes, sweetie.”
“Do you love me?”
Callie chuckled. “I love you so much, sweetie.”
“Can you be my mommy?”
His heart caught at his little girl’s words and need within her voice.
“Honey, I can’t be your mommy. You’ve already got a mommy.”
“My mom hates me.”
Callie moved from the position on the toilet to the edge of the bath. She put her hands on the tub, resting her chin on them. “I’m sure that’s not true.”
“She told me all the time. She said I was mean. I remember.”
“You’re wonderful, Meghan. Don’t ever allow anyone to tell you differently.”
“I’d like you to be my mommy. You can be Daddy’s as well, right?”
Callie sighed. “We’ll talk about this when you’re older.”
“You’re not leaving?”
“Not until your dad doesn’t think I’m needed.”
“I don’t want you to be my nanny. I want you to be my mommy.”
Drew stepped back and cleared his throat.
“I think Daddy’s home,” she said.
“I’m going to go and get started on dinner,” Callie said.
“I’m finished, Daddy,” Meghan said.
He heard movement and then his little girl came shooting out of the bathroom, wearing two towels. One on her body, the other on her head. She gave him a squeeze.
“Do you need help getting changed?”
“No, I can do it. I’m a big girl now. Callie said big girls get changed all on their own.” Meghan rushed off. In a few short weeks, Callie had been able to stop his little girl from ruling this house.
He returned his gaze toward Callie.
“I take it you heard what she said?”
“Yes, I did.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I should have known Tilly wouldn’t keep her thoughts to herself.” He grabbed Callie’s hand, drawing her closer.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m home from work. I want a kiss.”
“Meghan.”
“You heard her. She wants me to keep you.”
“Don’t, Drew.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I’m not making promises I can’t keep. I want you. You’re going to stay mine.”
“And when the time for me to leave happens?”
“There isn’t going to be time for you to leave. You’re going to realize you’re staying with me, whether you like it or not.”
“You’re becoming really bossy.”
“I’m the boss.” He pressed her up against the door. “And you love it when I boss you around. When I make you do what I want.” He slammed his lips down on hers, and she didn’t fight him.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and he ran his hands down to her ass, cupping the flesh.
“I can’t get enough of you.”
“Meghan is going to be done soon.”
“She’s going to love seeing us kissing.”
“It might confuse her.”
“I don’t care.” He was tired of fighting.
Callie tensed in his arms and he knew the moment was lost. “You’re a real pain in the ass. You know that, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“I want you, Callie.”
“I know and I want you too.”
“Then this excuse is about your job. It’s wearing thin real fast. I’m not going to let you keep on hiding from me. Not when I know how good it can be between us.” He was done hiding and pretending. What he and Callie had, it was real, and he wasn’t willing to let it go, not for anyone.
****
Callie stared down at her resignation letter. This was the right thing to do. She’d crossed the lines of what was acceptable.
Drew deserved a nanny who was better than her. But this wasn’t a resignation letter for Drew, this was for the company.
After her conversation with Drew had reminded her of what she wanted to be, she realized she was going nowhere. Her life was lived in other people’s lives. For a long time, she’d been happy, content to take care and to not question.<
br />
He’d opened her mind up to the endless possibilities and now, she was so lost.
“Meghan is fast asleep,” Drew said, coming into the room.
She hadn’t heard him coming downstairs. She quickly folded up the letter and shoved it into the pocket of her sweater. “She is? That’s good.”
“What are you hiding?” he asked.
He walked over to the sofa and she shook her head. “Nothing. I’m not hiding anything.”
“You’re hiding something. I want to know what.”
Before she could protest, he had her pinned to the sofa, not hard, and he started to tickle her. “Drew, stop it. You’re crazy. Let me go.”
He didn’t and magically took the paper from her, holding it up as if it was some kind of victory.
“Give it back,” she said.
She pushed her hair off her face and he held it away from her. “Drew, seriously.”
There was no point in fighting now. She watched his eyes as they read the letter.
“Your resignation?” he asked.
She panted from the exhaustion of keeping him at bay. “Give it back.”
“Not going to happen. You’re leaving the agency?”
“I’m thinking about it.”
Drew sat on the edge of the coffee table.
“This is your fault,” she said.
“You considering quitting is my fault?”
“Yes, you reminded me of what I wanted to be. Who I wanted to become before it was taken away. Being a nanny helped me to hide. You’re right about that, and I hate the fact you’re right. It’s not fair and I don’t agree with you about anything else.”
“You’re not alone,” he said.
“I know.”
“You don’t have an apartment.”
“I know.”
“You have nowhere else to go.”
“I know that as well. For a lawyer, you really know how to state the obvious.”
He chuckled. “I don’t want you to go.”
She took a deep breath. Her heart raced. Her palms were all sweaty. She felt a little sick to her stomach. “I … I was hoping you’d want me to stay here,” she said. “I’m not trying to replace Tilly.”