by B L Morticia
“He said I should let you go to come live with him and Macy.”
I looked up through tears and shook my head. “No… No, I’m not doing that. I love Myles, but the only way this works is if he loves both of us.”
“Santi, I wouldn’t have it any other way. But, I’m thinking it would be good for you to go to Chicago and spend time with him. If you did, he might see the benefits of all of us being together.”
“What?” I looked at Jonas like he had three heads. “No, I’m not. I’m not leaving you, Jonas. We’ve been separated for too long.”
“I won’t be here, anyway. I’ll be at work. Three 24s in the next five days, remember?”
“Don’t remind me.” I smacked his chest and pouted like a kid.
“Hey, c’mon. Don’t tell me you’re mad.”
“I am! I can’t believe you’re trying to get rid of me when you just got home! I thought you wanted me. Don’t you love me anymore or did Myles’s dick do a number on you?” I gasped when the words left my lips. I covered my mouth and looked away from him, not believing what I’d just said.
“Actually, Myles’s dick was pretty good, but not enough to turn my head. Santiago.”
Jonas lifted my chin up so I could look at him.
“I love you. That doesn’t change no matter what, but… I will say I enjoyed the time with Myles. I think he’d be good for us.”
“Oh? And why is that?”
“Because he’s a good guy who needs love in his life. He had that with his first man, then with you. He could have that again with us if he wants it.”
I inhaled to keep my control. Surprisingly, Jonas was being all level headed about this while I was being the jealous idiot.
“I… get that, but why do you want it, Jonas? I know my reasoning, but why you? What is your motivation? Is it because it’s what I want?”
“No, dammit! God, Santiago!” Jonas moved me from his lap and got up.
When Jonas got upset, I figured I’d hit a nerve. In truth, I was happy to see that reaction because I needed to know that Jonas wasn’t doing all this just for my benefit. If that was the case, none of it would work.
Jonas paced the floor, running his hand through his hair, then over the small amount of fuzz on his chin. He exhaled and rolled his shoulders, apparently preparing to say something important.
“Once I got off the train, I went for a bite, then a haircut and shave. All so I could process this, process why I’ve got these fucked up feelings rummaging through my body and wrecking my brain. I still have no answer, Santiago, except that, he’s like the total opposite of you. And that attracts me. I love that he’s so much like me. An alpha, strong willed, powerful, and he dominates me. You give me the love and tenderness while he gives me the pain I crave. Do you understand?”
Hearing him talk, I eyed him, nodding in agreement because I knew. Myles was all that he’d said and more. And sometimes, even though I liked playing the boss in my relationship with Jonas, I liked to be dominated too. Myles did it better than anyone I’d ever known. Everything I knew about being a boss in bed, I learned from him.
Now, I sort of understood. It quelled my anger and my envy. The reason I hardly ever left Myles’s side was because I loved being his beta. Sort of like the shifter books in gay romance, where there was an alpha wolf seeking a mate, who was almost always a beta. In this case, Myles was the alpha and we could be his mates if he wanted.
Knowing the way Myles loved to be in control, he’d be thrilled with this conversation.
Jonas continued. “Baby, I don’t know where to place this. I went there to support him, nothing more. Then once you gave me the green light, I took advantage. When I did, all these strange feelings built up inside of me that won’t go away. What I do know is I want this to work. I want us together to take care of Macy and give her all the love she wants and needs. I think we could give him that too.”
“I agree.” I reached out for him, bringing his hand to my lips. “I get it, babe. And… fuck, I’m sorry, but I got a little worried there for a second. I’d never want you to be miserable just to please me.”
Jonas squeezed my hand back. “I love you, but I wouldn’t do that for anybody. Remember when you first told me? How I said ‘no way?’”
“Yes,” I answered him.
“Well, that should be proof right there I won’t stay in a situation just to make anyone happy. I got reasons for wanting that man. He’s an asshole, but his head can be turned. You know what else, Santi?” Jonas grabbed me, yanking me into his body.
I landed against his hard frame with an umph, nearly knocking the wind out of me. Instead of whimpering, I settled into his embrace, running my hands over his back.
“What’s that, lover?”
“I loved breaking him down,” Jonas laughed, caressing my back through my shirt. “I loved besting him at his own game and making that tough ass unravel. Now I kind of see what Garrett talked about when he mentioned being happy about me punching him. Bringing Myles Greyson down a notch is a thing of beauty.”
I chuckled and held onto Jonas a little tighter. “It is. I know what you mean. There weren’t many times I did that to him, but when I did, it was a lot of fun.”
“See? You know what I’m saying then. God.” Jonas held onto me and pulled me with him to his Archie Bunker like recliner. He yanked me onto his lap and brought my legs up higher.
“I’m crazy, you know? I got the most beautiful man and I want more. Other than Macy, I shouldn’t want him so bad. I should be satisfied, right?”
“Babe, you don’t need to apologize for that. Like me, you want more too. Macy is the main focus, but all of us having that sexual dynamic of switching roles will be the bonus.”
“Oh, but we have work to do to get him to bottom. We have to. He’s gotta be broken in at some point. It doesn’t have to be now, but at some juncture, we’re gonna have to ream his ass. I’d like us to do it together.”
“Ow!” I held on to him and kissed his head. “Not the first time, babe. That’ll hurt like hell. Just you alone might send him into shock,” I laughed. “One thing at a time, okay. Let’s get him here first.”
“Yeah, let’s.” Jonas hugged me tight.
I settled into him and dragged my hand from his chin down to his collarbone. Though we were on the same page about Myles, I had to make sure we were ready for the inevitable.
“We also need to prepare ourselves, okay? I mean, he still may not want this, he−,”
“Shhhh…” Jonas put his finger on my lips then kissed them quick. “We gotta keep the faith, okay?”
“But…”
Jonas held up his hand. “Not another word, babe. It might take a while. Maybe months, perhaps even a year, but mark my words, Myles Greyson will figure out the best thing he could ever have is right here in Cobalt waiting for him.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Myles
Once I’d showered and napped, it was time for me to get up and face Sarah. Not that I worried too much that she’d caught me with my pants down.
Literally.
But, I’d hoped her walking in didn’t change her opinions of me. She’d probably think I was some kind of pervert. Which was true. However, she didn’t have to know that. With Sarah aware of my perverse tendencies it could affect our boss/employee relationship in a negative way. I didn’t suspect it would, but regardless, I had to smooth things over with her and make sure she was still okay with working for me.
“Sarah? Um, do you mind if we talk?”
“Sure, Myles. I’ll be right there. Where do you want me to meet you?”
“In the living room.”
“All right.”
I nodded and strolled back to the living room, settling on the sofa. While I waited for my nanny, I stared at the blank flat screen television, pondering my next move. Not in this conversation, but more so in life. Being with Jonas, I’d thought a couple of things over and though I wished I had enough nerve to call and discuss it w
ith him, I figured Sarah to be a better candidate to air out my feelings to.
“What’s up? Everything okay?”
I bowed my head at her when she came into view.
“As well as it could be. First, how is your mother?”
Sarah grinned. “She’s good. My sister is with her now. That’s why I rushed home so you could get back to work. When is Macy coming home?”
“Soon. How is your dad?”
Sarah shrugged. “The same. He’s recovering, but the doctor said he might also be in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. Sometimes he forgets where he is. It’s a dang shame, but, it’s what happens to us as we get older.”
“Yes, yes, that’s true. What do you plan to do? Do any of your other siblings help?”
“No. My two brothers can’t. One is in the service and the others’ in med school. He is coming home for the holidays. He’s thinking of transferring to stay closer to mom and dad, but I told him don’t worry. Me and Sis can handle it.”
“Yes, you can. Sarah, I know you’re a grown woman so you don’t have to take my advice, but, one thing. Don’t allow the job to impede taking care of family. If you need to leave at a moment’s notice, tell me. There will be no problem, okay?”
“Thanks, Myles. I appreciate that. Listen, I’m so sorry about your mother. I wish I could’ve been here for you earlier.”
I smiled at Sarah appreciatively. “No worries and thank you for the condolences. Now.” I clapped my hands together. “Why don’t you sit?”
“Okay.” Sarah curled her hair around her ear and took a seat in the recliner opposite me.
“Um, what you walked in on earlier, I−”
Sarah put her hand up. “Myles, it’s okay. I have to say, I was a little shocked, but, you’re a man living alone. You haven’t been many places, and you just lost your mom, so it’s only natural you’d want to let off some steam.”
“Yes, it’s true. Still, I didn’t expect to get so carried away I wouldn’t hear my phone. I−” I stopped talking a moment because I wondered if I should tell her about my dilemma. What would she think once I told her I was considering Santiago and Jonas’s offer to be in a relationship with them, raising Macy? “Sarah…”
“Myles.” Sarah smiled at me. She reached out and patted my knee. “Honestly, I’m glad to see you doing something other than working or being with Macy. Even if it is self-love. There’s no harm in that. Heck, it’s a great stress reliever.”
“True.” I shrugged and looked away from her. I took my time putting together what to say so I wouldn’t blurt out just anything. “I had company these past few days and, well, he was amazing.”
“Oh? Well, that’s awesome. Do you like him?” Sarah appeared to be genuinely excited about my news.
“I do. He sat with me at the hospital, then accompanied me home for the last two days.”
“Whoa, how nice. When do I get to meet him? Are there prospects for him becoming the future Mr. Greyson?”
If only it were that simple.
I sighed, knowing this could be the moment Sarah would either accept what I said or run out of here screaming.
“Myles? Tell me more about him? Are you that nervous?” Sarah cocked an eyebrow.
“I am,” I answered, fiddling around with the drawstring on my joggers.
“I have no idea why. We’re just sitting here talking.” Sarah slapped the arm of her chair. “Hey, I have an idea. Macy isn’t here. Let’s have a little drink. It is close to five o’clock so I don’t think we’ll be considered lushes if we do.” Sarah got up and walked to the hallway towards the kitchen.
“Yes, let’s. Perhaps then I’ll be able to tell you what’s on my mind.”
Or at least part of it.
Yes, not everything because I wasn’t one to kiss and tell.
Thoughts of the last two plus nights with Jonas replayed in my brain as if it were a DVR. In vivid color, surround sound, fucking wide screen HD. I couldn’t turn them off. Even with this very serious conversation, I couldn’t seem to think about much else. What could I say? The man impressed me and I couldn’t get over the fact I’d been bested by him.
“Myles. I was calling you from the kitchen and you didn’t answer. So, I made you a scotch and Coke, easy ice.” Sarah handed it to me.
I eyed her apologetically. “I’m sorry, Sarah.” I took a long sip and winced from the burn in my throat. Despite that discomfort, I appreciated the drink because I needed one to calm myself down.
She sat in the space next to me on the sofa. Not too close, but within arm’s length.
“It’s okay, but who is this guy? He’s gotta be something special if you can’t get him off your mind.”
“That he is.” I took another long sip. “We didn’t start on the right foot. Now, we seem to get along great.”
Especially in bed.
“I see. And what’s this guy’s name?” Sarah drank from her glass and didn’t drop her gaze.
“Jonas.” I belted out the name and nearly choked when I did.
Sarah eyed me curiously. “Um, I’ve heard that name before.”
“Yes, you have, because that’s Santiago’s boyfriend.”
Sarah stopped drinking and her eyes bulged almost as big as when she caught me jerking off. “Uh, sorry?”
“Jonas came up to see me because he wanted to support me.”
“Did he and Santiago break up?” Sarah asked, not drinking anymore.
“No. They’re still together.”
“And Santiago was okay with you and Jonas hooking up?”
“Actually, he encouraged it, because−” I stopped and exhaled, closing my eyes to figure out the best way to say this. It was my first step to acknowledging the triad for what it could be. How beneficial it was for us, Macy, and…
“Because they want you in a relationship with both of them?” Sarah said matter-of-factly.
After staring at her like a deer in headlights, I huffed out a large breath and tossed the rest of my drink down my throat. “Yes.”
Sarah eyed me, smiling. “And how did you feel about that?”
“Hmm? Sarah, you’re not running away. You’re believing this preposterous idea?”
“What’s preposterous? I think you should go for it. Myles, I hate to tell you, no one is breaking down your door, because you’re not allowing them to. I mean, you love Santiago and sounds like Jonas hit it out of the park with you, so my only question is why not?”
“Because of Macy,” I answered, exasperated.
“Macy is a baby. She has no clue who her parents are. She’s just happy with bottles, toys, and her blankie. And I’m sure she’s built a little bond with Santiago and Jonas by now. They’ve had her for how long?”
“Almost six weeks.”
“Oh yeah, no question. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried calling one or both of them daddy by now.”
“Daddy?” I looked away from her and felt my heart breaking in a million pieces. None of us were daddy, but I felt I’d earned that title over everyone else, regardless of the fact Santiago and Jonas had her.
“Myles?”
“Sorry, I was just thinking I should be dad.”
“You are. You gotta tell her. And if Jonas and Santiago want to be dads, for fuck sake let em! Myles, she has no one but you and me. Gram’s gone, her mom is on drugs, her dad doesn’t care. With the three of you, and I hope still me, we’ll give her a great home. She’ll have so much love in that house she’ll hate us when she’s a teenager.”
I chuckled at that, still eyeing her. “I suppose she will. And regardless of what happens, you’ll always be our nanny.”
“Whew, I’m glad about that. I love working for you. You’re a good guy and I wanna see you happy. It would be great to see you in a relationship.”
“With two men?”
“With one, two, five, who cares! If you love each other, what does it matter? You already love Santiago and obviously, this guy Jonas has made your head swim. I’d say th
is should be a done deal. If all three of you love one another and Macy there are no losers.”
Listening to Sarah talk, I tried quelling the anxieties that kept haunting me. “What about how people will view us?”
“What do you care? You’re in love,” Sarah answered.
“When she goes to school?”
“Again, who cares? That’s a long way off, Myles. We aren’t worrying about her in school right now. Give those guys a chance. Yourself a chance. I hate to get on my soapbox but that’s what happens when I drink.” Sarah downed the rest of her liquor and sighed.
I snickered and finished mine.
She continued. “You know what’s wrong with the world today? People are in other people’s business. I mean, if you don’t like gays, lesbians, trans people, whatever, that’s your own fault, not theirs. Allow people to live their lives and stick to your own. The other thing is people are quick to judge and throw religion in as a reason. That’s bullshit because one of the first commandments of God is love thy neighbor and another, only God can judge people. Those are simple, right? If only people would heed those, a lot of the world’s problems would be solved.”
I nodded, listening to Sarah preach and I couldn’t agree with her more. Still, the worries niggled at me about people I knew. My business partner who was also my best friend. His wife. My employees, my golf buddies, everyone. What would they say about me living with two men, raising my niece?
Sarah patted my shoulder. “Myles, c’mon, you gotta unclench. I hope Jonas made you loosen up because you need to. You’ve been walking a tightrope for as long as I’ve known you. I think it’s time you let go of it. You’re a successful, handsome man with a gorgeous niece who needs a family. Why not give her that, hmm? As long as those guys want her in their lives, do it. Do it for her and for you.”
“You’re right. I’m scared, Sarah. This whole thing has me reeling and since I lost my mother, the timing for it isn’t great.”
“Is it ever? I mean, seriously. You should jump at it. Life’s too short to be stressing over the smallest shit, Myles. You’re a grown man and if you wanted to have two men to be your lovers, you’re most certainly allowed. And you deserve that. You’ve been through a lot of shit. No one deserves all that love more than you and Macy. No one.”