The Society Game

by H. Lanfermeijer

  Tatiana straightened her silver slip dress and pouted at the mirrored wall behind me. She then ruffled her hair so that it fell slightly thicker around her shoulders. She lifted one shoulder and pouted into the mirror again before once more looking at me.

  ‘Yes? I look good?’ she said and I nodded in compliance. ‘So you’ll follow me over?’ Her voice was still in a high-pitched squeal.

  ‘You look good as well Ol – love the red heels. Anyway, all you need to do is come over with me and, if needs be, talk to his mates – you can do that right? Good, let’s go.’

  She turned on her silver stilettos. My heart was now thumping wildly inside my chest and I breathed out a pleading ‘no!’ But I followed, as I was a good lap dog, even when I was facing an imminent slap of social embarrassment from Mark and his lair.

  Tatiana artfully walked past his table whilst pretending to talk to me, I tried to act but all I could do was smile, she then turned and walked past his table again but this time looked their way then returned to the bar we had been standing by before she had left for her catwalk.

  ‘That should do it for now. Is he looking my way?’ Tatiana was slightly out of breath. ‘No, don’t look over! It’s so obvious, Olive just step that side; now can you see?’

  I tilted my head and I caught the full view of his strong face. He was looking our way and when I caught his eyes looking at us I jerked back as if to hide from a firing range.

  ‘Er, yes, he’s looking your way.’ I could feel that my neck had stiffened and I was aware I was squeezing my purse tightly as the buckle was digging into the palm of my hand.

  ‘Okay Ol, order me a drink and we’ll go outside onto the balcony. When he comes out wait for about five minutes then go back inside saying you’re cold.’

  Tatiana’s cheeks were flushed and she had developed a pouting twitch which meant everything she said was accompanied by a flick of her hair and a pout.

  I did accompany her outside and I did get cold waiting for Mark to open the door to the balcony. After twenty minutes of huddling together over a glass of champagne, Tatiana conceded defeat and re-entered for another strike. However, Carolanne was now sitting and laughing in amongst the men on the table. Mark was facing inward with his leg arched out. He appeared absorbed by the animated laughter of Carolanne. Her blonde hair was piled high above her head and she was the vibrant vixen that Tatiana hated.

  ‘We can’t go over now. Carolanne is so annoying. She thinks she’s amazing, well she isn’t. The trouble with Carolanne is she thinks she’s amazing – amazing and funny and beautiful, well I don’t think she is. Ahhhh that woman! Seriously, she is sooo annoying – who does she think she is?’

  This time Tatiana looked in the mirror and pouted in anger. I sympathised, I too was looking into the same mirror and I wished I saw Carolanne as me instead of my snow-white skin under a mass of red curls.

  We continued to watch from afar and I continued to listen to Tatiana ramble on about the evils of Carolanne. Tatiana created an acerbic atmosphere which was diffused when Carolanne came over.

  ‘Come on Tats,’ Carolanne said, ‘take that miserable look off your face. For some reason he wants to meet you.’

  ‘Who? Who wants to meet me?’ Tatiana replied between pouts.

  ‘Give up Tats, that doesn’t wash with me,’ she said.

  As I approached the table my paranoid self screamed at me to do nothing other than to sit. I loyally complied and sat next to tiny Lisa who squeaked a giggle at anything the surrounding men said. After a while my cheek muscles began to ache from my forced smile, I stroked my face and looked up at Mark. I was impressed to see Tatiana had wrestled Carolanne away from him and was leaning over to talk into his ear. He still appeared bored but he had his right hand on her left crossed leg.

  As the night progressed Mark’s men peeled away. One of them left with Lisa who, comically, reached to the elbow of her night’s companion. I was left sitting with my chin resting on my hand and stealing the odd glance at Mark who was now laughing with Tatiana. My mind drifted down to the mirrored table top.

  ‘Ooh upside down version of me is not pretty,’ I thought. ‘I wonder how many mirrors they broke putting these in? Got to replace Carolanne’s hand mirror, I think I took it to work yesterday? No, not there. Ooh I remember now, Betsy has it. I’ll call her tomorrow. I’m thirsty, only upside-down bottles here. Is it rude to scrape out the champagne dregs? Best I didn’t…’

  ‘I’ve been waiting for you to talk to me. I’m sorry my friends are overbearing at times but now they’re gone, maybe you could speak to me?’ came a deep voice.

  ‘Eh, what?’ I said.

  I looked up at the source and I was locked by Mark. His unruly dark hair fell around his forehead. He had blue eyes that were so deep they looked almost black set against a tanned face, like Mediterranean pools on a beach.

  Impromptu questions from a stranger may lead to a discussion or it may lead to the start of a wonderful friendship if the answer is a wise witty response. Unfortunately, all my dry mouth could muster was, ‘Oh er yeah, sure, yeah definitely.’

  I said this as I brushed my red hair away from a sweaty brow in an attempt to deflect attention away from the colour with the flush of red which had sprung up on my cheeks.

  ‘Not too shy?’

  I knew it was a rhetorical question designed only to bring a sly smirk upon his face but I didn’t know how to respond and so, again, all my brain could offer to rebuke him was, ‘Err excuse me? Not shy just sitting here.’

  ‘It’s okay, I like shy. You have a lot of red hair. Is it yours?’

  ‘Er yes, it’s my hair. Big hair I know and very red but it’s all mine. Who do you think I’m borrowing it from?’

  ‘Nice one red. Touché. Anyway, I like it, it’s striking.’

  He then winked, I then gulped, Tatiana then twitched and said, ‘Ah my sweet little friend Olivia, Mark. She’s the best of friends but you’re right Mark, Ol is shy; wow you’re such a good judge of character Mark; I love that in a person.’ Tatiana turned to me in a position that blocked Mark. She pursed her lips and said, ‘You’re my little mouse but I love you anyway.’

  Tatiana laughed and tugged at Mark’s shirt sleeve to encourage him to laugh and sadly he did.

  We enter battles when we know our army is strong, if it is weak then we fall on diplomacy to ease our way out of conflict. I knew I was weak against Tatiana; I was not confident to argue with her as her ammunition was sharp and it always cut her opponent. I had seen her fire out at others and I did not want to be defeated and humiliated in front of Mark, instead, I gathered my purse and smiled at Tatiana.

  ‘Love you too Tats. You’ll always be my gorgeous black cat. Enjoy your night. I’m off. Lovely to meet you Mark. Night.’

  Carolanne caught up with me and suggested we go home together as it was now two in the morning and she thought it prudent to leave Tatiana and Mark together. I agreed and we traipsed home in a summer drizzle that hazed the previously perfect full moon to a white smudge.

  Curiously, Tatiana was no more than twenty minutes behind us. We had only just sat down when she opened the door and smiled at us to indicate a successful evening.

  ‘We’re meeting tomorrow after work,’ she beamed. ‘What do you think of that Carolanne?’ She winked at her and proudly walked to the kitchen.

  ‘I couldn’t care less,’ Carolanne grimaced. ‘Good looking and rich he may be but arrogant and rude he most definitely is. I’m sorry I left you with those men so soon after you arrived.’

  ‘Why are you sorry? He was alright; I actually thought he was sweet. But Tatiana was her usual self, ignored me then told me I was a mouse – nice!’

  ‘Ignore her. I do most days. She’s now grey noise dumbing out the road outside. It’s going to be the same for Mark.’

  Carolanne rested her head on her hand and stared out th
e window.

  ‘No dancing with wild abandon then. I’m sorry I left, Ol, but as usual one of them – Tom I think, short, squatty man, the one with the hairy mole above his left eye, remember? Looked like he had a third eye? Anyway, he suggested they should all take bets on which of you two they could sleep with first. When I said, ‘You’d be lucky with Ol’ and that you were my friend they just laughed, so when you came over (which I confess, was because of me and Lisa – sorry again but Mark had asked me to gesture you over, not Tats but you), I then left and I was so pleased you ignored them all. Sorry I’ve not been a great friend tonight but I’m pleased that the person the bet came up for was Mark who struck the jackpot with Tatiana. Good luck to him, as by the end of tomorrow I suspect he’ll wish he had lost the bet!’

  Carolanne had not been a loyal friend but I didn’t mind as she had told me that Mark wanted me. Unfortunately, the insult that I was a horse to bet on had by-passed my young ears.

  CHAPTER NINE

  After that evening, the reflection in my mirror temporarily altered. I was the ideal woman, called upon over any other candidate. I was the woman others envied or desired. I was the woman scanned for guidance as to how to look, how to dress and how to snare the rich good-looking Mark.

  But he didn’t call or visit, there were no coincidental meetings nor was there any confirmation from others that I was the chosen one, and worse, he had started to date Tatiana; sexy, slender Tatiana. So my daydream did not last long and I began to scrutinise myself in the mirror and discovered to my horror a major flaw in my body. Over time, my chest had shrunk to a bland ripple. I hadn’t appreciated this defect before. But there it was the obvious cause of my imperfection and this concern only intensified over the next couple of months.

  ‘Seriously get over yourself Ol, there’s nothing wrong with you,’ said Carolanne one Saturday morning.

  ‘It’s her prerogative,’ interjected Tatiana, ‘to want what she wants. Personally, I think clothes hang better when you’ve got a bit more on top, like me for example. I can wear most clothes because they hang better.’ Tatiana flicked her hair and looked in the hallway mirror. ‘Just saying Carebear, to leave her alone.’

  ‘Well we can’t all be perfect like you and I’m not having a go at her I’m just pointing out there’s nothing wrong with her other than paranoia,’ replied Carolanne.

  ‘That’s so rude Carolanne. Ol, I don’t think you’re paranoid. I think you have a legitimate concern and if you think you’re too small then I support you as that’s what friends do.’

  ‘Er, thanks, I think?’

  ‘Take for example your new pink dress. Lovely, yes, but it definitely looks better on me, as I said, because I have a fuller bust. Just saying.’

  ‘Don’t listen to her, she’s angling to wear your new dress Ol.’

  ‘I’m not wishing to wear it! – although, if you’re not wearing it then as you’ve made the suggestion Carolanne, then maybe I will – plus she knows I’m only joking. She’s perfect, you know I think that eh?’ I smiled. ‘See she’s fine and Ol, I see what you all mean about the dress, that it would be perfect for tonight, I agree, so just checking you don’t mind if I wear it? Say if you don’t want me to… Mark has promised to take me to L’Amour, Covent Garden and I can’t wait!’

  ‘Sure,’ I said, but the injustice of my dress going out to L’Amour and enjoying the glamour of London’s most fashionable restaurant without me or my bust was not lost on me.

  ‘Wow, L’Amour, wow you lucky girl, what an amazing man and what an amazing place!’ Carolanne got up from the table as she said this and animated her sarcasm by shaking her hands with mocking glee.

  ‘Now who’s jealous?’ Tatiana said triumphantly and she too got up and mimicked Carolanne’s’ jazz hands then left the room to get ready for work.

  That day I was due to see James in my lunch hour. I was looking forward to seeing him and just chatting.

  ‘Do I have small boobs? Be honest, as everyone is repulsed at the sight of them. Don’t laugh James, I said, “repulsed”, I’ll say it again, repulsed by them,’ I sheepishly asked.

  ‘I mean this, mad woman, in the best way I can, to make sure you know what I think of that: Shut up! No don’t start. I can see you about to open your mouth to ask us again. Shut up!’

  I held his hand to stop him taking another sip of coffee.

  ‘Please, I know I sound stupid but I hadn’t noticed before and yes, it’s vain, but now that it’s been pointed out to me I just feel so self-conscious about them.’

  ‘Give over! Who’s been that rude and that indiscreet to say they are repulsed by your chest? And if there is such a person then who and what are they comparing them to? Is there a perfect size and shape? And if so, does that size suit everyone or is there the right size for one person? And if that’s the case then well done, Ol, you have the perfect shape and size for you.’

  ‘Tatiana.Well, not just her, but she’s seeing this incredible man who laughed at me and the next day or so Tatiana commented about them. Well okay not commented, but agreed with me.’

  ‘What a surprise! The woman who loves only herself. And why are you interested in the hypocritical beauty advice of a shapeless woman who herself, by-passed puberty?’

  ‘I know, I know but…’

  ‘Shut up, Olive, you know I think you’re lovely and you know there isn’t one single part of you I would change. Look at yourself and be happy.’

  ‘Thank you, you’re so lovely. You’re my drug.’

  James pulled his hand away from mine and caressed his coffee. He took a sip from the large white mug. Some of the froth stuck to his new fluffy moustache; he wiped it away with his right hand and with his left grabbed my right hand.

  ‘You’re such a romantic,’ I said. ‘You know, I’m jealous of your future wife.’

  ‘I suspect you’ve ruined me for future women but I’ll take anyone right now, especially as I have this new beard and moustache. What do you think? Stunning, yes? It makes us irresistible more than any Burberry male model, yes? Come on, own up Olive, see that woman over there? She’s about to head butt the café window to get closer to the glory that is James Tanner!’

  James did look better as the beard covered a line of adult spots that he had on his chin.

  As predicted, the drug didn’t last and by the time I came home from work my obsession about my chest had returned. Tatiana was sitting in the yellow corduroy chair dragging on a cigarette. Her hair was tied into a tight knot on her head, she was looking into three-dimensional space with her eyes narrowed to a slit. I sensed the angry aura around her so I looked for an escape route to my room.

  ‘I have nothing to wear for tonight!’ She exclaimed. Her red nails tapped her lips.

  ‘I thought you were going to wear my dress?’ I said.

  ‘He’s not taking me there! Can you believe that? He’s not taking me there as he doesn’t think it would be right to take me! What does that even mean? But oh, get this, he’s happy to meet me afterwards about ten, but wait for him as he doesn’t know how long he’ll be and when I do see him I should look elegant for a change! What does that mean? What does it mean Olive?’ Her red nails dug into her face.

  ‘Sounds rude to me. Don’t go,’ I said.

  ‘Don’t go! And miss out? I don’t think so. That’s rude.’

  ‘Why not? You’re not his servant.’

  She bent over in the shabby chair and yelled into her hands. My instinct was to back away as I hadn’t encountered this emotion from Tatiana; the closest I had come was anger and embarrassment when the jug of beer was poured over her. So, I felt obliged to edge closer and place a hand on her shoulder. My other hand was searching for my new mobile phone as I felt it buzz in my pocket. Remember Jason, this was some time ago and phones had not long been in existence so it was a novelty to me and I was keen to see why it was buzzing.

&
nbsp; ‘Elegant? Me? He’s talking about me. Who does he think he is? Unless someone has been talking to him about me? Renka? Ah! She’s always hanging around, sniffing after him. Yet what would she know about elegance? She thinks Burberry is the height of sophistication and did you see what she wore to Alice’s – fat but nice – Alice’s birthday? Seriously, I wanted to ask her if her Gran was missing her bedspread. Really, who is she to say: “Elegant for a change?”’

  She paused and repeated ‘for a change!’ then she returned to her hands.

  ‘But he’s so sweet, it makes it worse Ol. Whenever he says stuff like this it’s as if he’s then putting himself out to be nice to me: “I’ll meet you afterwards… I’ll try and get away just for you so I can see you… but please gorgeousness, look elegant and stunning.” He makes me think he’s the one doing me a favour! Nope, it’s not him, it’s Renka, it has to be and I will say something to her.’

  ‘Did you ask him what he meant by it all?’ I said meekly as I tried to retrieve a text message with one hand.

  ‘How can I have asked?’ she yelled. ‘He has some business meeting and he didn’t think I would fit in… “It will be too boring for you, please understand gorgeousness.” So, I’m not going to ask why, that just makes me look absolutely pathetic and ungrateful especially as he doesn’t have to slip away early just to see me. As I said, I will say something to Renka, like, “excuse me but who are you to question my relationship with Mark?” and “elegant for a change? Try looking in the mirror first” – yes that’s a good one, “Look in the mirror Renka before you judge me!”’

  She returned once more to her hands and I read my text from Carolanne;

  ‘Is Tatiana still angry? Just left the apartment,’ it read.

  ‘Beyond angry. Something about not meeting Mark and not dressing correctly?’ I replied.