Only Tyler

by Jess Dee

  TWO

  He could barely believe he was in Sydney, in Katie’s little semidetached house. For almost two years he’d tried to refuse himself the luxury of thinking about her. Now he sat at her table eating breakfast with her and Steve, just like old times. Except nothing was the same.

  He stared down at his plate, at the overdone eggs shriveled on the side.

  Well, almost nothing was the same. Evidently, Katie still couldn’t cook. He took a hearty mouthful of egg, savoring every bite.

  “So, Ty, how long are you staying?” She couldn’t quite meet his eyes. He watched her push a piece of sausage around her plate.

  Another indication things had changed. Before, she would have expressed delight at having him back, then badgered him into staying for good.

  “For a year,” he answered, gauging her reaction. “Maybe longer.” It all depended on her. And Steve.

  “What?” she spluttered, then tried to cover her shock with a laugh.

  “I thought you were just here on holiday.”

  “Nope. A little longer than that.”

  Katie shifted in her seat, reminding Tyler of a time when he’d sat beneath her on that very seat, when her reasons for shifting and squirming had stemmed from neither awkwardness nor discomfort.

  “You okay with me staying here until I find a place of my own?”

  Christ, he’d give his eyeteeth to resume the position now.

  Her gaze skittered around the dining room before settling on his face. It makes sense. “There’s no place in Steve’s unit for two of you, and I have a spare bedroom. Consider it home for as long as you need it.”

  “Thank you, sweet Katie.” He smiled as tension radiated from her in waves. “I appreciate that.”

  “What are you going to do about work?” Steve asked between mouthfuls. “I know how happy you were at your company in London.”

  “I still am. Work’s one of the reasons I’m back.” The other reason sat across the table from him, desperately trying to look relaxed when she was anything but. Who’d ever have thought Katie would be awkward around him? “We spent the last year raising a new venture capital fund one developed specifically for investment in Australian businesses.” He shrugged. “Moving back here suited all of us. They get someone to manage the fund in Australia, and I get to come home for a while.”

  “What’s the other reason?” Katie asked hesitantly.

  “You are,” he said evenly. He’d come home to scope out the situation, to assess Katie and Steve’s relationship. He’d come to see if there was any chance they’d made a mistake, or too hasty a decision at any rate.

  Her fork dropped on her plate with a clatter. “M-me?” she stuttered.

  She was uncomfortable. Her hazel-colored eyes darted between him and Steve.

  “Yeah. You and Steve. Or to be more specific, your wedding.” A wedding that he prayed would never take place.

  “You want to be more specific there, mate?” Steve tipped his fork in Ty’s direction. “The wedding’s in six months time.”

  Tyler turned to his oldest, closest friend. They’d been mates ever since Tyler had moved with his mother and his sister from Melbourne to the Eastern suburbs in Sydney, almost twenty years ago. As kids they’d fallen easily into friendship, learned to enjoy each other’s company and respect each other’s privacy. As adults they’d maintained their closeness.

  If only Ty had been able to share his secrets with Steve, they’d never have turned into ticking bombs.

  Under normal circumstances his closest friend would have been the best person to confide in, but Tyler’s secrets were not his alone to share. They involved someone else, someone other than Katie and himself. Telling Steve would have had far-reaching consequences, consequences that went beyond Tyler’s ability to control. As much as he knew Steve deserved the truth, there was no way he could tell him.

  On the other hand, confiding in Steve would have meant subjecting him to Tyler’s god-awful reality. Involving him in it. If Steve had known the truth, the real reason Tyler had gone to London when he had, he would have felt compelled to stand by him. To support him. Steve would have laid his hand on his shoulder and helped him each step of the way.

  Tyler couldn’t face that. He couldn’t accept the inherent humiliation of his friend coming to terms with the truth. He was a proud man, and if Steve had been there to watch his horrifying reality unfold, it would have taken away what little pride he had left.

  As disrespectful as it had been to Steve, he’d seen his silence as the only way to save his dignity. And at the time, he’d believed his dignity was about all he had to hold on to.

  He shrugged, turning his attention back to the conversation at hand. “I’m speaking figuratively. I’m not back for your wedding. I’m back because I want what you’ve got.”

  Out of the corner of his eye he caught Katie’s grimace. Her lips tightened in outrage and in fear, perhaps?

  “Mate, you’re talking in riddles.” Steve laughed, but his gaze took in Katie’s discomfort.

  He’d picked up on the undercurrents already. The man wasn’t a fool.

  Katie was on edge, and Steve had noticed. “A future, Steve. I’m looking for a future.”

  Something he’d never had before. Something he’d never allowed himself the privilege of looking for.

  Steve swung his attention back to Tyler. “With a woman?”

  Tyler looked at Katie and smiled. “Not just any woman.”

  “Damn, are you telling me you’re ready to settle down?” Steve asked.

  “It happens to the best of us.”

  “Aren’t you the guy whose motto is life’s too short to waste it on commitment?”

  His grin faded a touch. “I was that guy.”

  When I thought I didn’t have a choice. When life was too short.

  “But you’re not anymore.” This time it was Katie who spoke, her voice a whisper.

  He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Couldn’t get enough of staring at her.

  “No, sweet Katie. Not anymore.”

  Not now that I have a future. A future I never thought possible.

  Her mouth pursed. Blind fury flared across her face. Tyler got the distinct impression that had they been alone she would have decked him.

  Fair enough. As far as she was concerned it was warranted. He’d left her without an adequate explanation. Like Steve, she’d deserved one undoubtedly but at the time he’d been reluctant to give it to her.

  Reluctant to give up the last shred of pride he had.

  Part of the reason he’d moved to London was so Katie could find a man with whom she could build her dreams. A man who had a future to offer her unlike Tyler. He’d never told her that. Some things he’d believed were better kept to himself. No matter how much the silence hurt the people he loved and God knew he’d hurt Katie with his silence the truth would have been worse.

  She gave him her deadliest smile. “And you couldn’t find one single English woman to commit to?”

  “My heart is in Australia.” His tone was light, his thoughts were not.

  “Course it is,” Steve agreed. “Once an Aussie, always an Aussie.”

  “I’m going to make some coffee.” Katie stood abruptly. “Anyone like some?”

  “Not for me, babe,” Steve said.

  Tyler hated the casual endearment. Steve and Katie were supposed to be friends, not lovers. He knew he didn’t have the right to resent their intimacy. He’d left so Katie could find intimacy with another man.

  But why Steve? Of everyone she could have chosen, why did it have to be his best friend?

  Jesus, he needed to get some air. Needed to get away from them and sort his head out. He stood too. “Know what I’d like? A shower. I’ve been traveling for a full day and could sure do with standing under a hot spray of water.”

  Again Katie blushed, and he knew why.

  “C’mon in, Katie. The water’s hot.” The warm spray beat down on his back.

  �
�There’s not enough space in my shower for two people.” She looked rather dubious. Naked and beautiful and dubious.

  He smiled. “We’ll stand real close together.” No further encouragement was necessary. Pulling open the door, she stepped into his waiting arms.

  Shit. Now he needed air more than ever. A budding erection was not a good thing to have in front of his best friend.

  Katie cleared her throat. “Go right ahead, Ty.”

  She squared her shoulders and looked at him with a determination he hadn’t seen earlier. Her eyes flashed. Then she stomped on his nostalgia and effectively killed his hard-on by inviting another person into the shower with them. “Steve can get you a towel. He knows where I keep them now.”

  “Where’s your fiancé?” Tyler walked back into the lounge feeling substantially fresher than he had thirty minutes ago. He was pretty sure he smelled better too.

  Steve lay on one of the couches reading the newspaper. “Gone to work.”

  Tyler nodded. Of course she’d gone to work. She’d gone to find some routine in the chaos he’d deliberately introduced into her life and into her home.

  “She said to tell you goodbye, and that you should make yourself comfortable.”

  He did just that, stretching himself out on the other couch like he used to when he visited Katie before. Comfort, however, was almost impossible to achieve. How could he relax in a situation like this?

  He was here to see if there was any possibility that Katie and Steve had made a mistake. If they weren’t as happy as they seemed to be. Katie would never marry a man she didn’t love heart and soul. If, after spending time with Tyler, she was still intent on going through with her nuptials, he’d step aside and let them be. He’d even give them his blessing.

  If, on the other hand, she had any second thoughts, he wouldn’t.

  A lot of ifs.

  “You’re not working today?” he asked Steve.

  “Kate volunteered to cover for me.”

  Steve and Katie shared medical rooms in Maroubra. They’d met as interns, and upon graduating, had opened the GP practice together.

  Tyler knew that starting her own practice had always been Katie’s dream. She’d worked tirelessly to get a good education, taken on part-time jobs to pay for medical school and worked herself to a standstill to maintain her grades. The medical practice was the undisputed fruit of her labor and she took great pride in it. Finding Steve, a man with a similar vision who could help build her dream, was, as Katie had put it, a match made in heaven.

  Career-wise, Tyler thought grimly. Nothing more.

  “She’s seeing your patients and hers today?” Tyler asked. That was a substantial caseload. More than one doctor should handle, but Katie had taken it on. She was hiding from him. Good.

  Steve held up his hands in defense. “Kate thought it important for you and me to spend some quality male bonding time together.” He chuckled. “Her words, not mine.”

  Tyler laughed, easily able to imagine Katie saying something like that. He idly wondered if she’d offer him the same opportunity with her? A chance to renew their old friendship? Then he lost his humor.

  Bonding time for Steve and him? Ironic figure of speech when he’d come home to see if there was any possibility Katie might still love him.

  Damn, when did Steve decide to propose, anyway? How had it all come about? He needed answers. “So,” he said conversationally, “you did it.”

  Steve didn’t blink or ask for clarification. He answered Tyler as though they’d been discussing the subject for the last ten minutes.

  “Yep. I did.” He set the paper down and raised an eyebrow. “What do you think?”

  Tyler hesitated. “Honestly?”

  “Is there any other way?”

  He frowned to himself. There were degrees of honesty. He could rein in his jealousy and answer like an adult like a friend. Or he could lay into his buddy and smash his nose into the back of his head.

  He chose the adult option. Perhaps if he handled this entire complicated scenario like an adult, his and Steve’s friendship would escape unscathed.

  Perhaps neither he nor Steve would get hurt in the process.

  Or perhaps not.

  “I was surprised.” Gutted would be more accurate, but Steve had no way of knowing that.

  “That I proposed? Or that she said yes?”

  He smiled. “Both, I guess.” He hadn’t seen it coming. Hadn’t thought for one second Steve would make a move on Katie. They were friends and business partners. Not lovers and certainly not husband-and-wife material.

  “Me too,” Steve admitted. “But you know what? It felt right at the time, so I went with it. It must have felt right to Kate also, because she went for it too.”

  “Do you love her?” The words, though spoken calmly, tore through his throat, leaving it raw and stinging. He didn’t want to know the answer. Didn’t want to hear that Steve loved her.

  Steve smiled and answered without answering. “What’s not to love?”

  “Not a thing.” Not one damn thing. He kept his tone neutral, inquisitive. “Why Katie? Of all the women you could have picked?”

  One thing about Steve, there’d never been a shortage of women. In the past, there was only one he’d ever cared about, but there were hundreds out there waiting to pick up any scraps he was willing to throw out. For a while, after Penelope, he’d thrown scraps all over the place, slept with anyone he found vaguely attractive but none of them had meant anything to him. Until now.

  Still, why Katie?

  “Because we’re friends. Because she gets me. Because she’s beautiful. Because I know the two of us can be happy together, and so does she.”

  Fuck, he did not want to hear it. The only man he wanted Katie to be happy with was himself. “She gets you?” He laughed.

  “She always has. She gets my humor, she gets my thought processes. Kate understands me.”

  “Yep.” There’d always been a connection between them. They had similar dreams, similar goals. They’d opened a practice together, for God’s sake. They had endless philosophical discussions about God and the meaning of life and reincarnation. More than anything else though, more than any of their mutual likes and dislikes, mutual goals and work ethic, they shared a deep sense of respect and affection for each other.

  They were in short, the perfect couple.

  Except they weren’t. Katie was with the wrong man.

  Sure, Katie’s friendship with Tyler might be different from her one with Steve, but it was just as personal, just as intense, maybe even more so.

  Tyler and Katie had always been able to talk about anything and everything and when the chatter died down there’d been comfort in their silence, in just being together. They shared a sense of adventure, and of daring although Katie would probably be a little shocked when she realized just how daring he’d become. The two of them laughed at the same jokes and watched the same movies. Together they’d seen every live concert and musical in Sydney, and spent endless summer days on the beach and in the sun.

  And then there was the attraction. The lust and the hunger. The undeniable spark between them. A flame that had never flared between Katie and Steve.

  His chest burned. Christ, he hoped the flame had never flared between them.

  Tyler had hashed his plans out in his head a million times, but the preparation did not make the reality any easier. If Katie gave any indication whatsoever that she still had feelings for him, he would challenge his best friend for the woman he loved. There would be no quick remedy for the damage he would cause in the process.

  Guilt and uncertainty sat like a rock on his chest.

  “You know, Ty,” Steve said, “after you left, Kate and I became real close. We didn’t have a choice. Without you, and without Pen, it was just the two of us. We adjusted and carried on. Together. We’re not the same people anymore. Times change. We changed.”

  Was that a warning? Tyler wondered briefly, but rejected the idea almo
st immediately. Steve did not yet know he might be threatened.

  The evidence that nothing had stayed the same since he’d left was agonizing.

  His best friend had fallen for the woman he loved. The woman he loved was engaged to his best friend, and he couldn’t blame either of them. He’d left.

  He’d given them the opportunity. If he’d never made the decision to climb on that plane, it wouldn’t have happened.

  But he had. He alone had decided to leave Sydney.

  Besides, Steve and Katie weren’t the only ones who’d changed. His own life had undergone a radical transformation. His past would always remain the same, but his present and his future were now his own. He’d never thought he had a future before now he had one to mold as he saw fit. The comprehension was both powerful and exhilarating. It was also a little terrifying.

  The question was, would he be able to create the future he’d always dreamed about, and if so, could he do it without destroying his best friend’s life?

  He thought it might be possible. If everything went according to plan, everyone involved might end up happy. If anything went wrong however, lifelong friendships and relationships could implode and the blame would fall squarely on his shoulders.

  “Katie’s different?” He had to ask, had to know everything about her, everything he’d missed out on in the last two years. He chuckled.

  “Her cooking sure hasn’t changed.”

  Steve laughed out loud. “Takeaways. They’re a brilliant invention.”

  Then his mood sobered. “You wouldn’t know this, Ty. You weren’t here to see it happen, but yeah, Kate’s different. She’s changed a lot.”

  “What are you talking about?” His spine stiffened. What the hell had happened to his sweet Katie?

  Steve stretched, then lay back down with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. “Around the time you left, Kate got her heart broken badly. She fell hard for some dickhead who up and left her.”

  Tyler swallowed down a painful lump and wished again he’d had the courage to give her reasonable justification for his departure, something that would have taken the sting out of her loss. The idea of hurting Katie, even the littlest bit, gnawed away at him. “Who was he?”