Only Tyler

by Jess Dee

  ‘Sweet Katie,

  You were right.

  We cannot replace the things we love and lose no matter how hard we try.

  Enjoy the book anyway,

  T’

  For a split second, Katie felt the urge to hurl the precious book across the kitchen with as much force as she could muster. Instead, she cradled it in her arms. It wasn’t the book she wanted to throttle.

  “Over here,” Steve called to her.

  Tucked away in the corner of the restaurant were Steve and Tyler.

  Her fiancé and her… and her… and Tyler. They looked good sitting there. Too good.

  Testosterone bled from their table. Two men in the prime of their lives. One dark and sexy, the other fair and handsome. Both of them her lovers.

  God help her.

  Still hungover and incapable of dealing with the stimulation of all those male hormones, Katie headed reluctantly to them. She kissed Steve on the lips but wavered when she turned to Tyler. Finally, she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

  Her lips burned from the contact.

  “Hey, babe,” Steve said. “How are you feeling?”

  “A little worse for wear,” she admitted unwillingly, and removed her sunglasses as she sat between them at the small square table. “Next time you take out the scotch, do me a favor? Bring me a coke.”

  Tyler chuckled next to her. “You make a cute drunk, sweet Katie.

  Even if you say things you don’t mean to.”

  Katie had the grace to blush, and thanked Ty silently for the opportunity he presented her. At least this way she could apologize for her behavior without going into specifics. “I’m sorry. I forgot how I tend to say things I shouldn’t when I’ve had a bit to drink. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

  Tyler smiled at her, stopping her breath dead in its tracks. “No worries, my sweet.”

  Steve took her hand and held it in his.

  “So, um” She cleared her throat, then tried again. “Where’d you guys get to so early in the morning? And why didn’t you wake me to join you?”

  It was Steve’s turn to laugh. “We considered it, but you were so fast asleep we decided it wouldn’t be a good idea.”

  “It was the not-so-gentle snores that persuaded us,” Ty told her.

  “I do not snore!” Katie objected vehemently. She squeezed Steve’s fingers between her own. “Tell him I don’t snore.” Less than a day, and things were back to normal. Steve and Ty had slipped straight into routine, gleaning great pleasure from taking the piss out of her. She loved every second of it.

  Steve shrugged innocently and held out his free hand.

  “C’mon Steve. Tell him I don’t snore,” she insisted.

  Steve grinned, then looked at Tyler and said with a straight face, “She doesn’t snore.”

  Apparently not. Ty’s nod was solemn.

  If she had been looking anywhere other than Tyler’s face at that exact minute, she would have missed it. She wouldn’t have noticed the pain, the envy, that shot through his eyes, even as his words teased her.

  Stunned, Katie harrumphed. “I don’t snore. You’re making it up so you have a good excuse for not waking me. You just wanted some time alone. To bond.” She gave a condescending nod. that’s okay. “I understand. You need some man-time.”

  Alone together. They weren’t the only ones who’d mastered the art of taking the piss. She’d spent enough time with them to more than qualify as an expert. She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “So where did you go, anyway?”

  Tyler smiled again, any sign of pain long gone. “Well, I wanted to get a manicure. Hauling luggage around is just murder on the nails.”

  “But I thought we should rather stop in and have our hair done,”

  Steve joined in.

  “In the end we couldn’t choose between the two,” Ty said.

  “So we decided to shop instead,” Steve said, “and do coffee.”

  Katie looked at the two hot-blooded males, one on either side of her, and rolled her eyes. “You should have gone for facials. They could only have improved things for you.”

  Steve nodded understandingly. “Now, now, Kate. That’s the drink talking. We know you don’t really mean it.”

  “You’re just peeved because we left you behind,” Tyler agreed.

  She couldn’t help it. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and before she knew it she laughed. She left her one hand in Steve’s, took Tyler’s with the other and squeezed them both. God, it was nice sitting with her two best friends again.

  “So what did you two buy on your shopping spree?” she asked.

  “Makeup? New conditioner, perhaps?”

  “Actually,” Tyler said, his face shining with excitement, “we went for something a little more solid than that. A little more substantial.”

  When they finished their pizza, Tyler and Steve walked her down the road to Campbell Parade and showed her just how much more substantial.

  Across from them, Bondi Beach dazzled in the sunshine of the cloudless day, and surfers crowded the waves. Katie hardly noticed.

  She was too busy gaping in horror at the metal monster in front of her.

  Fear prickled her spine and dread flapped in the pit of her stomach. As she stared at the shining machine, anxiety and foreboding filled her.

  “She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” Tyler ran his hand over the sleek chassis of his new motorcycle.

  Katie didn’t answer. There was nothing beautiful about the bike.

  Not the buttery-soft, midnight black leather seat. Not the slick, flowing lines of the steel frame and not the lustrous, deep chrome finish. None of it appealed to Katie on any level.

  “A real beauty, mate,” Steve agreed with him.

  Katie stood back and listened to their almost reverent discussion about the V-twin engine, the aluminum-alloy pistons and other hyped-up body parts she’d never heard of. When they got on to talking about the price, Katie finally spoke.

  “You bought this?” she asked. “It belongs to you?”

  “Lock, stock and barrel.” Tyler nodded. “Want to take a ride?” He held out a helmet to her.

  “You’re joking, right?” She looked at him in horror. If the earth split beneath her feet she would not climb on that monster as a means of escape.

  “About this baby? Never. Hop on, we’ll go for a spin.”

  “No!” Katie said too quickly. “Thank you, but motorbikes are just not my thing.”

  “You don’t like her?” Steve seemed surprised.

  She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I hate her. I hate motorbikes, full stop.”

  “You do?” Steve asked.

  She shivered, the ominous prickles embedding themselves deeper in her spine.

  “They’re accidents waiting to happen.” As an intern, she’d treated a patient who’d come off his bike at a ridiculous speed. The resulting trauma a closed-head injury at a high velocity was something she never wanted to see again.

  “As long as you know how to handle a bike they’re safe, Katie,” Ty reassured her.

  “You know how to ride? When had that happened?”

  “Learned in London. It’s magic, Katie. Freedom on wheels. C’mon, try it.”

  “Not on your life.” She eyed the motorcycle with revulsion. “And I’d be happier if neither of you rode it either.”

  Steve laughed. “Know what, babe? You sound like my mum.”

  “Your mum is a sensible woman.” She frowned. “I don’t suppose it would do any good, my asking you to return it?” She looked imploringly at Tyler. “If you want to feel the wind in your face, buy a convertible.

  They’re safer.” She lifted her arms in despair. “Seat belts, gentlemen.

  Roll bars. Doors. Something around you, protecting you. You’re just too vulnerable on a bike. Too open to injury.”

  “It worries you, doesn’t it?” Tyler studied her face.

  “A lot.”

  It was only when he covered he
r hand with his that she realized she’d clutched his arm. She became conscious of the steely muscle beneath her grasp. “Katie, trust me, you have nothing to fear. I’m a safe driver. I know how to handle a bike.”

  The way he held her hand reminded her he knew how to handle a woman as well.

  She pulled her arm away. “What about everyone else on the road?

  No matter how confident you are with your own skills, you never know what the driver headed towards you is capable of.”

  “No worries, Kate,” Steve said. “We rode here together. Ty’s a good biker. C’mon. You know he wouldn’t do anything stupid.”

  She turned to face Steve, hoping she could talk some sense into him. One look at his face told her he was as hooked on the bike as his friend. “There’s nothing I can say to convince you, is there? You’re both sold on the damn thing.”

  Steve nodded. “Looks that way.”

  “I’ll be careful, Katie, I promise,” Ty said. “We both will.”

  Katie nodded. What choice did she have? They were grown men.

  She couldn’t make decisions for them.

  “C’mon,” Tyler said. “I haven’t been to the beach in years. Let me go feel the sand between my toes again.”

  The three of them crossed the road, Katie preoccupied with her thoughts. She hated the bike. If Steve had bought it, she could have argued with him, could have harped on about how getting himself killed in a bike accident might put a damper on their big day.

  She had no rights to Tyler though. As much as she wished he hadn’t bought the monster, there was nothing she could do about it.

  Katie sat in the sun-warmed sand while Steve and Tyler rolled up their jeans and headed straight for the water. She leaned back on her elbows and watched the two men talk while wading through the surf.

  They were oblivious to the water splashing around their ankles, wetting the cuffs of their pants. Their deep laughter resonated off the waves, and their animated faces glimmered with humor. Katie grinned when a group of young women walked past them, stopped and twisted around to take another look.

  Ever the charmer, Steve said something and they giggled in response. Tyler turned and rolled his eyes at her, just like he used to whenever Steve targeted a pretty woman. She shook her head in amusement, almost wishing Steve’s perpetual flirting bothered her. It didn’t. Not on any level.

  Two teenaged boys playing Frisbee caught Steve’s attention. In minutes, he and Tyler had joined the game, and the four of them ran tirelessly across the beach, chasing and throwing the plastic disc.

  After about ten minutes, Tyler called time-out. He left the game and dropped down beside Katie, breathing hard.

  “I’m not as young as I once was,” he confessed. “I just don’t have the vigor those kids do.”

  Katie looked at Steve bounding across the beach. “Yup,” she agreed. “All three of them seem to have endless amounts of energy.”

  They laughed together, and sat comfortably side by side watching the game.

  “I opened your present,” she said.

  He didn’t look at her. “What did you think?”

  “I was” she swallowed. “I was overwhelmed, Ty. That was the most incredible gift I have ever received.” Never before had anyone given her a gift that had required so much thought or so much caring. Never before had anyone given her a gift that showed her how well the giver knew or understood her.

  “So you liked it?” His face was still.

  “I love it.” Her voice hitched in her throat. “Thank you so much.”

  “It’s my pleasure, sweet Katie.” Her name came out as a soft murmur, and her heart lurched in her chest.

  “I’m sorry, Ty. About what I said to you last night. I was way out of line.”

  His lips tilted upwards. “You were tanked.”

  She squirmed in the sand. “It’s no excuse. My comments were unnecessary.”

  “Apology accepted.” He turned to look at her. “It’s not just you, Katie. I feel it too. The awkwardness. This whole situation sucks. Who would have thought I could feel ill at ease around my best mate and my best girl?”

  Their gazes caught and held. The breath was sucked from her body. They might as well have been alone on the beach for all the awareness she had of the people around her. For the longest time the only person, the only thing, she could concentrate on was Tyler.

  She’d stared into his eyes before. Drowned in the chocolaty depth of his gaze. Many times, she’d been trapped in this position, ensnared by the love and the longing on his face. The same love and longing she saw now. It was all there. All the desire and yearning and passion they’d shared before he left.

  A wave of dizziness washed over her. She couldn’t stop the crazy buzzing in her belly, or the gentle tug between her legs. Moisture seeped onto her panties, dazing her.

  “I meant what I said, my sweet.” His voice was low, and it hummed over her flesh. “I got you the book because I missed you. More than you’ll ever know.”

  Then why did you leave? She wanted to cry the words out loud, but fortunately this time there was no alcohol dulling her inhibitions. She held her tongue.

  “I read your inscription,” she said hoarsely. Her voice sounded carnal, and she cleared her throat immediately.

  A muscle worked in his jaw. “When you first lost your book, I didn’t understand why you were so upset. I thought you could just replace it.”

  He frowned. Now I know. “You can never replace the things you love the most.”

  She gaped at him. It was one thing reading his thoughts in a book.

  Hearing him voice them out loud threw her.

  “If Steve weren’t standing twenty meters away, Katie,” Tyler said, his voice even lower, now just a gentle rasp, “I would lean over and kiss you. Right here, right now.”

  Her stomach lurched and her heart skipped several beats. How dare he say something like that? Steve was standing twenty meters away.

  She couldn’t help but look up at her fiancé. He stood motionless, Frisbee in his hand, poised and ready to throw but his gaze was miles from his target.

  It was fixed on her.

  Fuck, what was he thinking? Did he know what Tyler had just said?

  Impossible he was too far away to have overheard. didn’t mean he couldn’t read their expressions. She knew her face registered shock.

  Did it also expose her illicit arousal? Could Steve see from so far down the beach what Tyler’s words were doing to her?

  Christ, she hoped not.

  Their eyes locked and held but it was Ty’s voice that rolled like velvet over her skin. “If Steve weren’t here, I would take you in my arms and make up for the two years I left you.” He hummed low in his throat. “Only this time, I would never, ever let you go.”

  She gasped, tearing her gaze from Steve’s. “What are you doing, Tyler?” she croaked. “What are you saying?” Panic clawed at her chest.

  Her fiancé watched as his best friend seduced her with words.

  “I’m back, Katie. I know I hurt you when I left, and I’m sorry about that. More sorry than you will ever know.” He drew in a deep breath. “I believed I had to go, believed there there was no choice. But there was a choice about coming home. I made my decision.” Hunger shadowed his expression. “I chose you.”

  “Are you out of your mind?” What in God’s name was the man thinking? She’d waited almost two years for him to say that. Two frigging years. Now, when finally she didn’t want to hear him say it when her fiancé stood meters away he’d come back for her.

  Fat lot of good it did.

  “I was,” he answered simply. “When I discovered you and Steve were engaged.”

  He turned back to face Steve and the boys then. “That’s why I came home. To see how serious you both are about the wedding.” He said it casually, as though they were discussing the weather, but she could see steely determination in his expression.

  She knew she should say something. Convince him she was
dead serious about her wedding, but for the life of her she could not talk.

  She could not think of a single word to say. Even if she could, she wouldn’t be able to speak over the lump lodged in her throat. Two years she’d waited. Two fucking years, and now, when he couldn’t have her anymore, he wanted her back?

  “You can’t marry him,” Tyler said, as Steve flipped the Frisbee one last time, and waved goodbye to the boys. “Because you still love me.

  You proved it last night.”

  SIX

  Four days after he said them, Tyler’s words on the beach still rang in her ears, making rational thought a joke. Steve, thank God, had cut their conversation short, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t obsessed about it. She’d thought of nothing else since. Lucky she could escape for eight hours a day and throw herself into her work. Lucky her work kept her sane, as did Steve, because sharing a house with Tyler did not.

  Wherever she walked there were signs of the man, wearing down her defenses.

  If he wasn’t around, traces of his aftershave wafted through the air. His toiletries lined the shelf in the spare bathroom. Her fridge was filled with food she never ate, and her dining room table was covered in newspapers and business magazines. The phone rang three times as much as it used to, and mostly, the calls weren’t for her.

  She’d always known her house was small, but with Tyler staying in it the rooms seemed positively miniscule. His larger-than-life presence filled the empty spaces, and more often than not, like now, Katie found herself confined to her bedroom. As much as she would have loved to sit cozily with him on the couch and share a laugh like old times, it was easier to stay here alone than to face the possibility of him bringing up their relationship again.

  At night, sounds filtered through the house, creating havoc with the images in her head. The click of his bedroom door, signifying his intent to sleep, sent her into slow meltdown. At least a thousand times she’d pictured him naked. Watched in her mind as he undressed and slipped into bed. Imagined the cool sheets touching his flesh. Caressing it. Enveloping it.

  She shook her head savagely to throw out the prohibited thoughts.

  Damn, she was an adult, and it would do her well to act as one. Tonight she refused to hide anymore. Tonight she would face and conquer her fears. She’d go to him and they could chat. About life. About London.