Only Tyler

by Jess Dee

  “But but he did come home, and he took our future away.”

  He sighed. His shoulders sagged with dejection. “The passion was never there.”

  She shook her head. “The love was, not the passion.”

  Steve slumped on the back of a couch. He pushed a tired hand through his hair. “You and I were not meant to be.”

  Katie closed her eyes against the sorrow that cloaked her and shook her head again.

  “Go and be with Tyler, Kate.” His voice was sad.

  She tried to say his name, but a dry sob overwhelmed her. “Steve,”

  she said after gaining the tiniest bit of control. “I am so, so sorry. You did not deserve this.” He deserved to have the best woman available, and she was not that woman. “You didn’t deserve any of this.”

  “Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we want it to.” Though he was talking to her, he had a faraway expression in his eyes. He blinked, refocused and said, “Go to him, Kate. Go and be with the man you love.”

  She stared at him, desolate. “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “I can’t just leave you like this.”

  “You can’t stay with me either. You don’t belong here. Not anymore.”

  “But…”

  “When I asked you to marry me I knew there was someone you loved more. I never guessed who it was, but I always knew he was there. We could have been good, Kate. We could have worked if he had never come home. But he did.” He smiled despondently. “I was never your first choice. You’re supposed to be with Tyler.”

  She walked over to him. “You must hate me.”

  He sighed again, deeply, and then put his arms around her and pulled her close. “I love you too much to hate you.”

  She hugged him back, resting her head on his chest. “I’ve betrayed you.”

  “Yes, but you also stayed faithful to your heart.”

  “I love you, Steve.”

  “I know you do, babe. You just love Tyler more.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. She forced them back. “Not more. Just differently.”

  “Maybe that was our problem all along. Maybe we just loved each other differently.”

  “So where do we go from here?” she asked, knowing she didn’t want to hear his answer. “I don’t want to lose you.”

  Steve rested his chin on her head. He smoothed her hair. “Maybe we can be friends again. Someday.”

  “Just not now?”

  “Just not now, Kate.”

  The grief overwhelmed her. She was losing her best friend.

  “What…” She stopped, sniffed, wiped uselessly at her eyes and tried again. “What about work?”

  He shrugged, shook his head. Her heart stood still. “Steve…?”

  “I’ll look for another practice. Maybe open something in Coogee or Bronte.”

  “No.” Her voice was little more than a squeak. God, no. The practice was as much Steve’s as it was hers. he’d helped build it. “It wouldn’t be the same without him. It’s yours. You can’t leave.”

  “I can’t stay, Kate. I’ll take my patients. You’ll keep yours. We’ll work something out.”

  She clung to him, burying her face in his chest. “I’ll miss you.”

  Every single day. How would she get through even twenty-four hours without him? The most solid force in her life was crumbling.

  “I’ll miss you too, babe.”

  He pulled away from her, lifted her chin and kissed her. A sweet, gentle, harmless kiss. A farewell kiss.

  Then he opened the front door. “Go and be with Tyler.”

  She nodded, sniffed, took a deep, useless breath and walked out of the flat.

  She paused in the doorway for just a second, and looked at him one last time.

  “Bye, Steve.”

  “Bye, Kate.” He gave her a poignant smile. “Be happy.”

  SEVENTEEN

  Katie didn’t go home. She went to her spot on the cliffs. It was foolhardy to visit it in the pitch-black, but she didn’t care. Her life had just changed permanently. She’d just lost her best friend and she needed time to mourn.

  Her choice had been the right one. While she loved Steve dearly, her heart belonged to Tyler. It always had. It didn’t make the pain of her loss any easier to bear. No amount of crying could make it easier.

  Tears would never fill the hole that Steve’s goodbye had created. Her wall of strength was no longer there. This time, if she tripped, she’d fall.

  Worse than her sorrow was the knowledge that she’d hurt him.

  She’d caused him intolerable sadness, and she’d destroyed the future they’d built together.

  Katie stared sightlessly into the dark. Below her, the ocean roared and smashed against the cliffs. Around her the wind whistled through the bushes.

  She didn’t take notice of any of it. She simply grieved.

  In one fell swoop, she’d lost her best friend, her work partner and her fiancé. The pain was unrelenting. It burned her stomach and her lungs and her heart, and she knew she’d never recover from the scars.

  Whatever else happened from here on, there’d always be a substantial chunk seared from her life.

  He’d been so damned decent about the whole thing. So understanding. She didn’t deserve it. She deserved his anger and bitterness but he’d given her none of it. Instead, he’d offered her freedom and sent her to find Tyler.

  She couldn’t stop the tears now. She wept for herself, and she wept for Steve. He’d lost one woman to a horrible disease and another to her brother.

  She wept for Tyler and for Penelope and for the inheritance that had destroyed their lives. Tyler had triumphed over his legacy, but what about Pen? And Steve?

  Katie stayed in her special spot for a very long time, and then she stood and walked back to her car. It was time to go home. The tears might finally have run dry, but the pain would always be with her.

  Without that pain, she and Tyler would never be able to start their relationship afresh. Their new future was borne of Steve’s heartache.

  At least now she had a future with him. For two years she’d had nothing. Now he was back, and she was his. Finally. There were no more obstacles in their way. She and Tyler could be together. They could lead the life she’d fantasized about for a very long time.

  This was a momentous night. She’d lost her best friend and her fiancé, but she was about to gain the person she’d longed for eternally.

  Tyler.

  The one thing she never counted on was that when she arrived home, he wouldn’t be there.

  EIGHTEEN

  “Oh, hon. I’ve never seen you like this.”

  Katie looked at her mother. “I’ve never felt like this,” she said hollowly.

  Losing Steve may have been unbearable, but Tyler’s disappearance was nothing less than catastrophic. His first departure had devastated her. His second was insurmountable.

  “I’m not even sure how to describe you now. You’re beyond sad.”

  Brenda clucked her tongue in sympathy.

  “Sorry, Mum,” Katie said. “I know… I promised we could shop for dresses today, but…” The words wouldn’t come. “There would be no wedding.”

  “I’m sorry too, hon. I’m sorry Tyler’s left again.”

  She shook her head. “Don’t blame him this time.” He didn’t know all the facts. Because she hadn’t told him.

  He must have assumed she’d wanted Steve. She’d stormed out the house hell-bent on easing Steve’s pain, without stopping to consider Tyler’s. If she’d just taken one minute, to tell him she’d chosen him it had only ever been him none of this would have happened. She and Tyler would be off somewhere celebrating each other. Instead, Tyler was off somewhere, incommunicado, and she was crying on her mother’s shoulder.

  “He left because he thought I chose Steve. He did what he thought was the right thing.”

  “Still haven’t gotten hold of him?”

  Katie looked a
t the table in the entrance. Upon it sat Tyler’s mobile phone.

  “No. I don’t even know if he’s aware he left his phone here.”

  “He hasn’t collected his clothes yet?”

  Katie shook her head. Most of his stuff was still at her house. Just a couple of suits, jeans and tees were missing. And some of his toiletries and papers.

  Obviously Ty couldn’t fit it all on his damned bike. “I guess he’ll come and get it when he finds a place to live.” She shrugged. “He still has the front-door key. He can come and go at will.” When she was at work, most likely.

  “Does Steve know where he is?”

  Katie snorted. “I doubt it. The last time Tyler saw Steve, his eye had been blackened.”

  “You doubt it?” Brenda’s eyes were troubled. “Oh Lord, Katie, you still haven’t spoken to Steve?”

  She sniffed. “He doesn’t want to speak to me, Mum. I have to respect that.”

  “So how do you know he’s been making calls and visiting other practices?”

  “Tina.” She slumped into her couch. Pathetic. She had to learn about Steve’s actions through their receptionist.

  Her life was falling apart. Two weeks ago, she, Tyler and Steve had sat in her kitchen celebrating their friendship. Now Tyler was gone again, Steve was leaving, and Steve and Tyler’s relationship lay in tatters.

  The bonds that had held their friendships tight and strong for so long, lay in ruin. Katie had lost her best friends and her true love. Their circle of three had fractured irreparably.

  “It’s over, Mum.” She had that hollow, empty feeling to prove it.

  “I’ve lost them both.”

  The tears came again, and Brenda sat beside Katie and held her hand while she wept.

  Tyler tapped his fingers on the table in his hotel room. He couldn’t pretend to be interested in the casino any longer. He’d spent seven days immersed in facts, figures, negotiations and talks anything so he wouldn’t have to think about Katie and he’d finally decided. It would go against every moral fiber of his being to invest in the hotel. His partners agreed.

  Which meant it was time to move on. He’d been offered accommodation here when he’d needed it, but staying longer would be taking advantage. Late Saturday afternoon he’d found a furnished apartment to rent in Belleview Hill. Today, he’d meet the agent at five and sign for a one-year lease. It was only two p.m. now. Which gave him just enough time for a final meeting at the hotel and a final meeting at the Maroubra Medical Practice.

  He had to go there. He had to acknowledge defeat and congratulate the victor.

  The best man had won Katie had chosen Steve. The challenge was over.

  The problem was, he was not the only loser in this fiasco. Penelope had lost as well. Steve had no reason to fight for her he already had his prize. Tyler had failed his sister and himself. The only thing he’d accomplished by coming home was to destroy his relationships with his two closest friends.

  He wasn’t expecting warm hugs of welcome at the practice. Hell, he wasn’t even expecting a conciliatory handshake, but he would do the right thing. He would go to Steve and offer his congratulations.

  Then, he would go to Katie, and he would offer her his congratulations.

  Right after that he’d sign the lease, and then he’d go the hell to the closest pub and drink himself into oblivion. He’d pour so much scotch down his damned throat, they’d have to peel him off the floor just to get him out of the bar. At which point he’d go to the next pub, and he’d pour another bottle of scotch down his throat. And then another, and another. Until he couldn’t feel the pain anymore. Until he was so wasted that the idea of his friend with his woman no longer affected him. Until he just did not give a damn.

  There wasn’t enough scotch in Sydney to help him reach that place, but so help him God, he’d drink what there was.

  After that, he’d pick himself up and move on. After that.

  First he had to go and make peace with his friend and his friend’s wife-to-be.

  When Steve stuck his head around her office door, Katie’s heart shot into her throat. They hadn’t spoken in a week. Was he going to tell her he’d found another practice?

  “Come in,” she invited, and her hands trembled.

  He pushed the door open. His face was white, as though every last drop of blood had drained from it. “Kate…” He stopped, squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his fingers against his forehead.

  Her lungs seized. “Steve? What’s the matter?”

  He shook his head, opened his eyes and tried again. “Kate,” he rasped, “we have to go. Now.”

  “Where?” she whispered. Something was very, very wrong.

  Even Steve’s lips were white as he answered. “Hospital.”

  “Wh-why?”

  “There’s been an accident.” He tripped over the last word.

  She shook her head. No. No!

  “It’s Tyler.”

  She knew already. Even tucked away in her office, she could see the bike lying on its side, the wheels spinning uselessly in the air. The pungent stench of burnt rubber filled her nose, and her ears echoed with the sound of metal crunching against metal.

  “Please,” she replied in a ghostly voice, “please, don’t say it.”

  “I don’t want to, babe, but it’s bad. We have to get to the hospital.”

  Katie froze. She couldn’t remember how to walk. Ambulance sirens wailed in her head. Crowds gathered around the wreck. And the wheels of the motorcycle spun and spun and spun.

  Steve’s arm was around her, guiding her out of the office. “I’ll drive.”

  She nodded mutely, seeing nothing but the crushed metal monster.

  Step by agonizing step, Steve led her to the car. “I don’t have any details,” he explained. “I was just told he came off his bike and landed several meters away from the scene of the accident.” He opened the car door, helped her in and strapped her seat belt. “They said it wasn’t his fault. He did nothing wrong.” He sounded as traumatized as she felt.

  He put the key in the ignition, put the car in gear and they were moving.

  Heading towards the hospital where Tyler lay broken on a bed.

  NINETEEN

  Katie couldn’t remember reaching the hospital. All she knew was that she was there, and there was no news. She checked her watch.

  Her world had come to a crashing halt. Why hadn’t time?

  Four hours had passed since they’d arrived in the emergency department. Three and a half hours had passed since they’d been sent to wait outside surgery.

  Three and a half hours of waiting and waiting.

  He’d been struck by a four-wheel drive that shot a red light. The driver and his passenger were a little shook up, but otherwise fine.

  Tyler was not.

  Katie began to shake. Violently. Someone, probably Steve, must have placed a coffee in her hand earlier. Cold, dark liquid spilled over the cup and down her arm before splashing to the ground. Her teeth clattered and her knees threatened to collapse beneath her.

  An arm clasped her around the waist and the cup was removed from her hand.

  She was propelled forward into a small room.

  “You need to sit.” Steve led her to a chair. “Your body is responding to the shock. Sit.”

  She did as she was told, but her hands still shook uncontrollably.

  “They’ve finished operating,” he said. “The doctor’s on her way to see us now.” He knelt before her, holding both of her hands in his. “It’ll be just another minute before we know.”

  Katie nodded mutely. She’d been in rooms like this before. Many times. When she herself was an intern. Only the circumstances had been different then.

  She’d been the one delivering the news, not receiving it.

  “Dr. Rosewood? Dr. Sommers? I’m Dr. Lavine.” The woman stood before them in hospital scrubs. On her head was a shower cap, and around her neck hung a matching mask. “I’m a neurosurgeon.”

&nbs
p; Katie swallowed, her throat suddenly parched. She opened her mouth to speak, to ask the dreaded question, but couldn’t. She couldn’t put a single sentence together.

  “The good news is Mr. Bonnard survived.”

  Katie went limp. Blood roared in her ears and relief washed through her body.

  Tyler was alive. But wait. What was the doctor saying?

  “…was conscious when he arrived at the hospital. However, he was disoriented and agitated, and his verbal responses were unclear.”

  Had Tyler sustained a head injury?

  “We graded him eight on the Glasgow Coma Scale and sent him for an MRI. Although we cannot determine the extent of his injuries yet, we do know there is cerebral edema. We’ve chosen to sedate him, at least until the swelling subsides.”

  He’d injured his head. Oh please. No. Not a brain injury. Dizziness attacked and the world swum around her. Katie closed her eyes, waiting for the moment to pass.

  Again she tried to speak, but was unable to form the words.

  Steve said something.

  Focus, Katie, listen to her answer.

  “…no more than a couple of days at most, depending on how long it takes for the majority of the swelling to subside.”

  She was a doctor, for crying out loud. Why did she find it so difficult to process all the information? To ask all the right questions?

  Something squeezed her hand. She looked at her lap. Steve’s fingers were clasped around hers. His knuckles were white. At least he had the presence of mind to ask the right questions.

  “Was there any damage to the spinal cord?” His voice was tight and unnatural.

  Dr. Lavine shook her head. “Not as far as we can tell. Our focus is on the head injury.”

  At least there’d be no paralysis.

  “Anything else?” Steve asked.

  Dr. Lavine nodded. “We think he must have used his arms to break his fall. His left one was broken in two places. He’s just come out of surgery and has two permanent pins in his arm. If all goes according to plan, that should be completely healed within a few weeks. There was a deep cut on his right arm that required several stitches. He’ll have a scar there, but no permanent damage.”

  His arms were going to be fine, but what about his brain?