Alone on the Oregon Trail

by Vanessa Carvo

  Christmas was, indeed, a beginning.

  Chapter Eleven

  (Crossing Over)

  With Christmas behind us and a new marriage ahead of us, nothing could stop our love and our faith. Our wedding was splendid and came right at the perfect time. Grayson and I met through circumstances that called for compassion, understanding and patience and this helped us to become the people that God longed us to be.

  Both Grayson and I were thrown into a situation where we could either live up to God’s will, or we could walk away from God’s will. We both chose to follow the Holy Spirit and tend to our calling. In doing this, came the gift of falling in love. With it came the time to get to know each other and need each other first as friends, and then this led us how to love as man and wife.

  Now, after being molded into the couple that God preferred, we could face all other obstacles that would come our way. With December behind us and January coming, we could begin to plan to get on with our lives.

  Another month or so, we could begin to clear people from our barn and start our lives as man and wife. We planned to begin making preparations for them to return to their own homes by the end of March. For a while yet, we would be dealing with many people’s opinions and issues, but now we could face them together, as husband and wife and we had become one with the Father looking on.

  January passed and went rather smoothly, but when February came, it was like everybody had drunk the poison. The people began arguing about everything and anything, and it was all Grayson and I could do to try to keep the peace.

  We found ourselves feeling like Moses must have felt trying to lead such an unruly bunch. We became so tired just from trying to keep the peace and we were made into judges in a courtroom. Everyone was bringing their case to us, expecting us to fix their problem with someone else.

  It did not matter when we told them they needed to tend to their own problems, because they all acted as if we owed them something. Rude was a light word compared to what we were seeing and we were beginning to think there were not brothers and sisters in Christ among us.

  For a while we escaped to our home, trying to stay away from the line of fire, but they would keep coming even to our home so that we could settle matters on the outside. We still had animals to care for and had to watch over them as well, so hiding in the house was not possible anyway.

  I began asking the girls to stay in as much as possible because there had been fights and outbursts among the people and I didn’t want the girls to be in the wrong place at the right time.

  Grayson came to me one late afternoon telling me that they had to come up with new measures to deal with what was happening among the people, or things were about to get out of hand. I couldn’t agree more, but we did not know what measures could be taken at this point, besides kicking them off our land.

  We did not want to have to do that at this point because it was February and it was still pretty cold. The people were beginning to fight over food and whose was whose, and this brought them running to us to take control of the situation and to decide where the food belonged. This task was not ours to do, but without our intervention, we were afraid that things could turn violent.

  So, we entered the barn not sure of what was the best way to handle it.

  After hours of listening to their debate, we could clearly see that no good was going to come to the situation, so Grayson announced the only thing we could do is make a choice, because by this point there were only two options.

  One would be that everyone would leave the barn and our property and return to their own homes, but then of course, this still left the dilemma of trying to decide who gets what amount of food. The other option was that he would separate the food himself among the people.

  Since each family’s number of members was different, it would not be fair and it would take too long to decide how much each family got. So, he suggested that instead of going by family, they would take each individual and give to them their portion they would need to survive for another month.

  Being February we figured they could leave by sometime in the month of March. This was the only idea we could come up with. None of the people could be satisfied with that option and this is when we decided that the people did not want to cooperate and we could tell we would see future problems.

  Even if we had them leave our property, there would still be a problem over the food.

  By that time water was not a problem, because the land had cleared enough of falling snow that made it difficult most of the time to haul water, or the streams would be frozen. Now, we could rebuild our supply of water, as well as begin to hunt more for food.

  When we suggested that people spend their time hunting and collecting water, instead of fighting, they would not hear of it. All they wanted to do was to fight over everything they could. Since no one was willing to compromise, we took the matter into our hands and we called Cambell Ferry over to us and a couple other young men who seemed to have more sense than most of the adult men and we asked them to separate the people and have them find a place to sit.

  After finding them a place to sit, and to sit still, we would then begin passing out their portions of food and setting it in front of them. We had to consider their ages and to decide how much food they would need to survive, and we placed that amount in front of them. We did not pass the food out according to the size of the family, but to each individual and their needs.

  This pleased no one and almost became a free for all.

  It was clear that these people had crossed over lines that should never have been crossed. While our family inside the home were coming together, the community outside were falling apart. At times it became quite scary to ponder on what would happen if these one hundred twenty people completely lost their minds.

  It did not seem like they were far from it at this point and time.

  A week went by after our meeting and it was coming to a head because we heard screaming coming from the barn and when we ran into the barn we saw a group of men fighting, and there was chaos everywhere.

  Women were also fighting and the children watched in horror. As they continued to fight even though we had run in, Grayson had no choice but to raise his gun in the air and fire shots, hoping this would end the horrible brawl. He ended up shooting three times before they broke up.

  When the fight did break up there were some men who had been stabbed and many others were beaten fairly badly. We quickly tended to those who were hurt the worst and as we worked to save their lives, Grayson cleared the barn, kicking them all out into the fenced area outside of the barn.

  Many of the young men came to our side to help and the young girls as well offered their services. We gave them all tasks that we felt they could handle and before long we were getting things in order. This had crossed lines for us and against us. There was one young man who had been stabbed by a father of eight, and I could not believe that this man could bring such infliction on another child.

  The young man looked to be only around seventeen years old and at the moment he was in much danger of losing his life.

  We ordered several other young men to ride into town to bring back a doctor and we worked on the man as best we could until the Doctor would show up. Even with all we did, we were unable to save the boy and he died in my arms as I held him.

  He had been stabbed repeatedly and had died from a wound to his chest. It was horrible and I couldn’t stand it when he closed his eyes for the last time and I felt the life leave his body.

  Mattie was having a hard time with everything that was going on and she took off on Bailey and I figured she would run to our oak tree and for a time I just let her go. The more I thought about it, though, I was afraid it would be too dangerous to let her be out there alone and I saddled up one of Grayson’s mares and followed her.

  When I reached her, there she was; sitting under the oak and she was rocking back and forth from all the violence she had seen. I jumped off the mare and ra
n to her and held her in my arms for several minutes. Then, I had to find a way to draw her back with me to the house and to help her at the same time deal with the chaos.

  I looked into her eyes and told her that I needed her to come back and help me, that I could not do this without her. That is all it took to get her to return home with me and I was thankful that it worked.

  After we had managed to rip them away from each other and put them in the fenced area, we knew that we must have a meeting, a “come to Jesus” meeting that would do some good, or the time was to have them all kicked off our property.

  I wasn’t sure, but I felt myself that it was past time to make them leave. The weather was not as bad and they would surely survive in their homes and they could take their portions of food and water with them. After I told Grayson what I thought, he agreed and we were headed to the barn to announce that they had to leave.

  Then, a small child looked to be about seven years old walked over to us and she said to us “What lesson would come from all of this ugliness would be one fine lesson when their hearts changed.” I could not believe my ears that such a small child spoke like that and Grayson said that it was not her that spoke, it was God.

  This made Grayson believe that kicking them off the land might be premature and maybe we should hold off and see what would take place in their hearts for a few days. The young boy that died would need a burial and perhaps God had plans to convict hearts from the tragedy. I had to agree with Grayson when I saw the conviction in his eyes and I told him I supported any decision he made and we slowly walked back toward the house.

  A couple of hours later the mother of the young man who died came to us telling us that she would be blessed if we would allow her to bury her son on our property, preferably under some tree or by a beautiful stream spot, and that she would like to be able to visit him from time to time. We asked her if she would rather bury him on her own land and she said that it would break her heart to look out and see his grave every day, but to visit him occasionally would be better.

  We understood and told her that would be fine. She also asked Grayson if he would say a prayer during the burial and if he would stand up for her son and if he would speak for him over his death. Grayson asked her what he could say for her son and she told him that her son was such a beautiful boy and that he was always the peacemaker in situations like what had happened.

  In fact, how her boy got killed was that he had went out to split two men apart and try to make them reach a peaceful agreement and he was stabbed in the middle of it. She would like for Grayson to speak as God leads when he speaks over her son’s grave, and that surely God would put the words into his mouth; and it may bring this community back together.

  This is what her son would have liked to see happen. We couldn’t argue with what she had requested and perhaps she was right and the Lord would fill Grayson with His own words. So, we held her hand, prayed about it and took her at her request.

  The burial would be later that evening and Grayson had no fear about what he would say, for he knew that God would lead him to the right words.

  We were not sure how all the people would respond when we announced that we would be having the young boy’s burial later in the evening and that his mother had picked a beautiful peaceful place to lay him to rest under an oak tree down by a stream. We had prepared ourselves for unruly people and bad attitudes, but we also had taken it to God and asked Him to bring clear minds and peace to the people.

  After we made our announcement, many people came to our side and offered their assistance in anything that needed to be done and we could see God’s hand as it was changing some of the hearts.

  We went on with our plans and met the mother in the front of the barn and loaded her into a wagon so that we could take her to the burial spot. She sat quietly next to Grayson and the two girls and I sat in the back of the wagon.

  I looked behind us and to my amazement I saw wagon after wagon following in behind us and I took this as a good sign from God that His mercy and grace was moving among the people. Little Mattie was a treasure to me then and she always seemed to be a sense of comfort for me, and she sat beside me holding my hand, as well as Meredith who sat on the other side with her hand on my left thigh.

  I was beaming inside at how well our family was doing and was praising God for the blessings in the midst of the sorrow and chaos.

  We arrived under the oak down by the stream and we pulled over to where we could unload the boy’s body and easily lower him down into the grave we had dug for him. I got out of the back and helped the mother, Kate down from the wagon and walked with her to stand under the tree.

  Her head was lowered, not looking up at anyone as they began to come from their wagons, taking their places along the stream. Tears fell from her face, making their way to their place on the ground in front of her.

  As I stood there holding the dear woman up, Meredith scooted nearer to me as she let Cambell slide in beside her. I was glad to see him with her, showing his support, as was Grayson coming to stand with me.

  He stood there for a few moments and then he took his place at the head of the grave, so that he would be able to lead us all in prayer as well as say words for the boy.

  The words of prayer flowed from my husband’s lips and they seemed to soothe the heart as he spoke what God said through him. With each word, came his voice of tenderness, and as he closed the prayer, person after person repeated ‘Amen’. I felt Kate squeeze my hand as we stood there, and I supposed it was more for strength than for anything.

  I could relate to her pain because I knew pain first hand in losing Nathaniel and it was recent enough that it was fresh in my heart. I squeezed her hands back and held them tenderly; offering warmth, compassion and support as we stood and listened to Grayson speak for the boy.

  “Caleb cared,” Grayson said. “He cared about a community, a community of people that he considered to be his family, his family of God. I think Caleb proved how much he truly cared for us all as he took it upon himself to go into the middle of that barn floor, ready to try to bring people who were confused, scared and angry together instead of standing by, watching them rip each other apart.

  “He came into our lives when he was born as a tender child, being raised as God looked down pleased in his love and devotion for God’s people. Caleb offered to us a maturity, a maturity in the Lord, showing us that there is never a time for violence among God’s people, and he has shown us that the outcome of violence is never good as we are burying that God loving boy here today.

  “If Caleb could speak right now, I have a feeling that he, like Steven, would be asking God to show pity upon those who had laid him in his grave. I believe that Caleb, like Steven would have words of tenderness and forgiveness towards us all for letting matters get so out of hand.

  “I believe that Caleb, if he could; would shower us with his bright smiling face and hug each one of us. I believe that he would tell his loving mother to not grieve over his death, but to celebrate his living that she experienced. He so loved and he also was so loved.

  “I believe that Caleb would be among us today if we had not allowed our hearts to change, to grow hard and to become so hung up on our selfishness. A selfish heart is contagious and I believe that is probably what Caleb saw as he looked out on that barn floor, and it tore his heart apart as he watched people he had known all his life as they turned into total strangers. I believe that Caleb could not stop himself from becoming involved in applying peace to the crowd instead of pressure. I believe that Caleb believed in peace and because he did, he innocently believed that he could spread that peace in the midst of hate and war.

  “We see what came from that hate as we look down into this filled grave today. We see what came of war as we watched the life leave this young man, when life should have been his for years to come. We see that his mother will now be robbed of not only her son for years ahead, but she will be robbed of the woman that Caleb would have fallen
in love with as well as his own family that he would have built.

  “There is nothing that we can do to bring his future back to us, or to his mama. What we can do now is to look deep within our hearts and ask our hearts ‘What has happened to make this old heart grow so cold and hard?’ We can hit our knees in prayer to God and ask for His forgiveness and we can repent, turn from our ways and plead with God for mercy and ask for Him to build within us new hearts.

  “We can ask forgiveness from this child’s dear mama and offer our love and care now as she faces the worst years of her life. Losing your own child must be the worst thing in the world, and we are looking at a mama that has to live that sadness. As we say goodbye to this dear sweet boy, may our hearts wrench in pain, may our hearts feel the sorrow for our loss of him.

  “If we feel no sorrow when we leave here today, then we might as well tie a stone around our neck and walk out to the middle of a deep, deep river, because if we do not feel the pain for our loss of Caleb, then we are lost, lost beyond measure. May our hearts burn for him for a time of regret. May our hearts feel the sadness that his mama must feel every time she wishes to touch her son or see his face.

  “If our hearts do not burn over our loss for Caleb, then our hearts have grown into stone. If we must cross over, may we know where we are crossing over to. May we recognize the horizon we have landed upon when we open our eyes. If we open our eyes, may we see that we have landed on the side of the Lord, and not the side of the evil.

  “May we find ourselves crossing over indeed, but may we know that God is pleased where we crossed over to. May we cross over to the same side that this dear child chose to cross to. May we follow a heart of a child, a child that sought only love of the Lord and peace as he chose to not accept the hate and war that he was witnessing. May we follow the heart of this child who chose to go out into the war and offer a hand of peace. May this be where we find ourselves crossing over to, to the heart of young Caleb, and then we shall know that we have crossed to the right side.”